Comic Book Review – Vampirella #8-10: A murder of Crows

(Submitted by Mr. Prince Adam…Thanks for the Vampi goodness, Superfriend! 🙂 xoxo)

“Vampirella’s back and on the hunt! Dynamite Entertainment’s acclaimed mistress of the dark continues her supernatural adventures, running a gauntlet of murder and despair across an increasingly imperiled globe. A trio of demoness assassins – the Kerasu Shimei (the ‘Crow Sisters’) – have clawed their into our world, and are intent on building a bloody monument to murder, sin and mayhem, and it will take all of Vampirella’s considerable skill to send them screaming back to Hell…” (Dynamite)

This book continues shortly after the one shot from last issue, where Vampirella was recuperating from her wounds from the battle with Dracula and Le Fanu. The book picks up with Vampirella and Sofia on a stakeout, tracking a trio of gruesome murders where three people of shady character have been crucified, with Japanese Kanji drawn in their blood beside them.  Vampirella has been contracted by a mysterious benefactor, who she has yet to reveal to Sofia, Through Vampirella’s inner musing, she reveals that she is keeping her benefactor a secret from Sofia, to not bring her deeper into Vampirella’s world.  Vampirella reveals that as much as she enjoys having a human partner, she wants to get Sofia out of this life because the last time she had a human partner, it didn’t end well for either of them.  In these quieter introspective moments, we start getting a sense of how attached and how much Vampirella cares for Sofia.  As nice as that is, the best parts of these scenes are the insinuation of the mysterious benefactor’s and former human partner.  I’m assuming her ex-partner was Adam Van Helsing, who she had a nightmare about in the previous issues.  As for who her benefactor is, I have no idea.  However, writer Eric Trautmann has me hooked liked a caught fish, waiting to see how both those plot threads play out.  In the first seven issues, Sofia is thrust into this monstrous world. She’s intrigued and captivated by it all.  Now that she’s had time to process it a little more fully, as a reader, you can see her fear and so can Vampirella, even though Sofia tries to hide it.  I love how the writer hasn’t thrust her forward so quickly, to the point where she’s okay with all the weird crap she’s witnessing.  She tries to cope by referencing that everything Vampirella does in this volume fulfills every trope from the horror movie genre.  She uses smart ass commentary to mask her fears.  That’s something I would do.  I hope the writers keep using Sofia as a conduit for the audience.  The other reason I absolutely loved this volume of issues, is due to the fact that the villains of this issue spring directly out of the first volume.  The Three Crow Sisters are Hell-Spawn, who were able to escape hell, when Vampirella’s battle with the Yag-Ath Vermellus, softened the barrier between hell and Earth.  The reason why they have killed those 3 people is because they represent cowardice, the immoral and the deceitful.  This coupled with killing Vampirella, who represents insolence, dishonors her fellow Vampires and is disloyal to them, will serve as a monument to corruption. These acts will tether them firmly to Earth, preventing them from being dragged back to hell. We also learn that the masks they currently wear are temporary tethers to Earth and amplify their strength and speed.  They are very formidable opponents, but she ultimately kills them.  However, not before the big revelation that the Crow sisters know of Vampirella’s true origins, whereas, she herself does not.  She has memories from different origins, which in actuality are different incarnations of the character in the comics, through the years.  In the book continuity, she is not sure what her real past is.  This is similar to what Wonder Woman is experiencing post Rebirth. I like this story hook, as it allows new readers to familiarize themselves with multiple possibilities, without doing too much extra “homework.”

Fabiano Neves returns on art and once again does great work.  This is going to be odd to say of a Vampirella book but the car chase scene looked good.  The art really captures the close quarters and break neck speed of the chase.  Also, the exploded car flip diversion Vampirella creates with the car, looked straight out of a Fast & Furious movie, minus Vin Diesel’s monotone acting, while still keeping the beautiful women.  The female villains wearing Guy Fawkes, V for Vendetta esque masks, looked creepy as hell.  And because the masks aren’t literally V for Vendetta masks, it never feels derivative. Since we essentially had hot vampire vs hot vampire in volume 1, they had to change things up a bit.  This is definitely visually striking.  I loved the visual of the crucified murder victims being on one hand being a darkly colored page, with his blood being the most colored object, while the other two were shown in black and white.  It gave the crime scenes a more mysterious, cold and frightening look and feel to them.  The page where Vampirella and Sofia are scouring around the abandoned farmhouse which is pitch black, and their backs are facing the “camera”/reader, is a quintessential horror moment.  It leaves you expecting and waiting for something bad or scary to happen.  That’s hard for a comic book to pull off, but to be fair, I may have cheated by playing a horror soundtrack as I read this book,

The more I read of Vampirella, the more I like the character and this book.  If you thought the story blew its load too early by using Dracula write off the bat, you’d be wrong.  I’m constantly impressed with every scroll of the digital page.  This character is under appreciated in the comic book world. If you haven’t read this book, or given this character a try, you simply must.  If you don’t, you’re truly doing a disservice to yourself and the genre!

#FangsFridayFlashback: The “Barnabas Collins Gives Good Head” Edition

Thank God it’s Frid-ay, Kinky Kreeps! ;))

It’s another fang-tastic day, so we’re talkin’ about Barnabas Collins, the groovy vampire from TV’s Dark Shadows!
Before Edward sparkled in the sun, Johnathan Frid as Barnabas Collins was the heartless heartthrob who broke the hearts of teen ghouls everywhere. For monster kids, he was koolest korpse on the small scream.

When Barnabas ruled the night, they plastered his undead mug on just about everything… board games, joke books, toys, comic, and Horror Heads!

What were the Ho-rror Heads, you ask? Well, the Ho-rror Heads were probably the weirdest and most awesome thing to come out the popularity of Dark Shadows… besides the time Barnabas met Bozo the Clown. (True story!! :))

These strange little doll heads were like the unholy love-child of Madballs and carnival punks. They came in Barnabas (‘natch), Quentin the Werewolf, and… a witch. That last one’s a bit odd because the witch in the line is a generic Halloween witch and not Angelique, the main witch on Dark Shadows. But I guess it doesn’t matter which witch is which… 😉

For pure Dark Shadows awesome, check out the commercial below:

Comic Book Review – The Lost Boys

(Submited by our Heroic Ho-mie, Mr. Prince Adam…Thank you, Super Sir! 🙂 xoxo)

“Santa Carla, California is on edge. The eccentric coastal town and haven for the undead was finally returning to “normal” after its last supernatural scuffle left the local coven’s head vampire dead and gave newcomers Michael and Sam Emerson a housewarming both violent and bizarre. Now the brothers must once again team up with militant vampire hunters Edgar and Allan Frog when a new gang of ruthless, stunning, life-sucking nightcrawlers known as the Blood Belles emerges from the aftermath to collect Michael’s love interest and their lost sister, Star.” (Vertigo)

It’s confession time; I have never seen The Lost Boys. I know, shame on me! The only reason I knew of it was because Kiefer Sutherland was in it. I really became intrigued by it, when Ms. Diana Prince got all excited over The CW developing a TV series based on the film property. So I tracked down the film, before hitting another stumbling block. That stumbling block was the film being directed by Joel Schumacher. Ever since Batman & Robin, my movie viewing has consisted of a “Sans Schumacher” rule. So I thought me and this film ever crossing paths was a no go! Then DC Entertainment, through the Vertigo imprint announced a comic book miniseries. So this was my compromise. Having read the book, and thoroughly enjoying it, as well as for reviewing purposes for this site; I will break my “Sans Schumacher” rule and watch The Lost Boys! See how much I love this site! Aside from liking this book, another reason I must watch the movie is because this book is a sequel to the film! I simply have to watch the events that led to this story unfold. Having said that, if you’re like me and have never seen the film, this book is not confusing. It tells you the basics. Brothers Sam and Michael move to Santa Carla. Michael falls for a girl he meets on the boardwalk named Star. However, Star has ties to a guy named David, a Vampire. Michael is lured into and seduced by the world of the Vampire’s. That leaves Sam, his grandfather James, and two other Vampire Hunters known as the Frog Brothers to save Michael. Our story picks up with the David and his gang of Vampire’s seemingly dead. Sam works at the local comic book shop (bonus points), Michael works at a retirement home, but is also making a life with Star, who’s trying to live amongst us as a human with his family. Meanwhile, his grandfather operates a flailing vampire hunters group out of a Veterans Center known as the Santa Carla Hunters Union. What I loved about this early portion of the book was that writer Tim Seeley catches the reader up to speed with the film just enough, yet works some other spoilery pertinent information about the film for later, when it serve his new story. I enjoyed the Frog Brothers. They kind of remind me of a younger version of Bill and Ted, mixed with the Stranger Thing kids. My one problem is that they seem to be too young for any responsible adult to train and allow go out & hunt Vampires. This is the same problem I have with Bruce Wayne allowing and training 9 year old Dick Grayson to fight crime and be his partner. Both cases are socially and morally irresponsible. Maybe it’ll play out differently when I watch the film, but right now, as they are presented in the book, it bugs me a little. I like that Sam works at a comic book store and in said store, there is a book that mirrors the events of the film. I like when comics and movies have that cool Meta aspect to them.

The peaceful status quo is interrupted when a fire erupts at SCHU headquarters. This lures the remaining few hunter left outside and the vampires kill them, including Michael and Sam’s grandfather. This action causes Star to flee and Michael to chase after her. Meanwhile, the Frog brothers are on the case, trying to figure out what the vampires are up to. Armed with wooden stakes, crosses, holy water and garlic, they find themselves at the Santa Carla Sea Caves, where they discover an underground female gang of vampires known as the blood belles, who revived David and secretly used an unknowing Star, to lure Michael and the Frog Brothers to their caves. Their ultimate goal; to resurrect the lost Vampire City of Xibalba, which had been lost under these caves thanks to earthquakes for six thousand years. Along with the city, their inhabitants, the Mothers of Vampires will be resurrected. To do this, they need to drain the blood of a half human/vampire of his blood, which is why they have Michael, as well as sacrifice a virgin, which is why they kidnapped the Frog brothers. This aspect of the story offers so much to like. First, is the classic method to kill a vampire. I’m a sucker for the tried and true techniques of killing a vampire and it’s nice to not see a story try and reinvent the wheel just to be different. I love that the new vampire threat in town is a gang of women, better still that they are revving an ancient civilization’s group of vampire’s. With rare exceptions like Buffy, Vampirella and Van Helsing, the vampire genre’s history is to position women in the roles of damsel’s in distress. It’s good to see them take the lead here and to be villainesses power houses too! Even David, the lead Vampire is working FOR them. He is their minion and that is a bold statement by our writer. As for how David survived death from the film? He was given an injection of blood from the Mother’s in stasis, which heals his wounds. I like the idea that their blood can save fellow vampires, as well as the conceit that a mere injection of vampire blood can turn humans into vampires. Typically, a human injected with vampire blood has to die before turning but here the change can happen amongst the living, which is unique. At least to me it is. Star’s Sire and chief member of the Blood Belle’s, Billy was the daughter of a master and a slave. While she was freed, she was chased by a witch hunter who branded her with the mark of a witch. As a result, her townspeople attempted to burn her. However, she was saved by a vampire, one of the original Blood Belle’s. Ultimately, she dies in the third act of this book, by watching sunrise, one last time. I was entranced by her origin but feel as though it was glossed over. They could do her origin story and early history justice with a comic book miniseries. Her death served to tell the reader that in this books mythology, when a sire dies, their offspring return to being human. This presents Star with a dilemma at the end of the story. Does she take the injection of blood from the mothers of vampires, or does she live out her days as a human, waiting to succumb to her pre-vampire disease of cystic fibrosis? Oh btw I am so not spoiling the end. Read it and see for yourself.

I do have some problems with the finale of the book. For one, Michael, Star and the Frog Brothers are rescued by Sam and an underdeveloped character known as The Believer. I’m sorry, but I don’t buy this guy as a vampire hunter. He has more in common with Ashton Kutcher in Dude Where’s My Car, than he does with Abraham van Helsing. Not to mention, we’ve already chronicled Sam’s non experience as a vampire hunter. The Mothers of Vampire’s were built up as such a threat, with their blood holding so much power, yet, they are given so little time to showcase their true levels of badassery. In the end, they are felled by a Vampire bomb thrown into the cave by Sam, which causes the cave to crumble on top of them. I think that was a waste of great setup for these characters. Also a waste, was the subplot of the residents of the Hughes Retirement Home being turned into vampires. First off, the turn was done off page, so you didn’t know it happened until you see them. Add to that, the fact that they are confronted and killed within half an issue. This book suffers from pacing problems, and could have easily been an 8 or 12 issue maxi series. All is not lost though. These problems could be fixed in a follow-up comic, which I believe is likely, since the ending suggests that original Lost Boy, David, once again escapes eternal death in this story.

Steve Godlewski is the artist for this book and provides great work. While his art is nowhere near as realistic looking as Alex Ross, I think the characters bare a strong resemblance to their film actor counter parts. This is especially true of David. You can definitely see a young Kiefer Sutherland in the rendering. One panel that is particularly beautiful is the shot of the Santa Carla boardwalk all lit up during a night setting. Also, in terms of picturesque beauty, the final image of Michael and Star kissing on the bluff as the sun sets, looks like something you’d see in and old school film like Gone With the Wind. Let’s get to the vampires shall we. I loved the look and wardrobe of the Mothers of Vampires. The Ancient Egyptian look really gave weight to their distinction as the mothers of vampires. One extremely striking image was the pages featuring the residence of the old age home as vampires. It’s striking because recent movies, television and books don’t depict elderly people as vampires. It’s typically reserved for the “young and beautiful.” The most gruesome images of the book go to the flashback of Billy being burned at the stake and David being skewered in the head/eye. I have to give special mention to the early pages of Sam working in the comic book store. On the walls, you can spot actual comic books from the 80’s including John Byrne Superman and John Ostrander Suicide Squad issues.

This was a really good book. I’m glad I decided to read it. Sure, I had some issues with it but overall it was fun and I got invested into most of the characters. This book is so good it has me eagerly looking forward to watching a Joel Schumacher film. As far as I’m concerned, that’s the highest amount of praise I could give to a comic book.

Kinky Komic Review: American Vampire- The Beast in the Cave

(Ho-wdy, fiends! Back to ho-st post duty after my mini-hiatus. You know ho-w much prep goes into Anuual Purge night …Ho-pefully you made it through ok without me. 😉 Let’s get things Crypt Jam-min’ round here again, starting with a Kinky Komic review from our prestigious pal, Mr. Prince Adam…Thanks so much, you Superheroic Stud, you!!;)  xoxo)

“This tale comes from the early 1800’s with the “The Beast in the Cave” featuring art by the legendary Jordi Bernet (Torpedo, JONAH HEX). Learn about the original American Vampire, Skinner Sweet, and his involvement in the brutal Indian Wars, and an ancient evil hidden in the heart of the Old West. Plus, more about the man Skinner used to call his best friend – James Book!” (Vertigo)

This book has always been set in past eras but the story itself, always moves forward in time.  For the first time, writer Scott Snyder takes us back to the 1800’s and the great Indian Wars.  Before that though, we’re taken to the late 1700’s. Here we see a young Skinner Sweet whose family farm has been burned and scorched to the ground as a result of war.  With his family and his home gone, Skinner is taken in by his best friend’s family. That best friend is James Book.  Yes, with this storyline, Scott Snyder is essentially giving us the Smallville story for American Vampire.  Obviously, James Book is the Clark Kent character, with Skinner Sweet being the equivalent of Lex Luthor.  As kids, they always played Lawman Vs Outlaw, which foreshadowed the future of their relationship. I didn’t consider the possibility of a prior friendship, but when you look back at the first story featuring their adult counterparts, it makes total sense. In that first story James Book was always more laxed with the law when confronting Skinner, while Skinner would attempt to save James Book from the European Vampires in that first story arc.  All this, in spite of their adversarial nature at that point in time.  You also see how the child Skinner is fearless as he shoves his arm in a rattlesnake’s cave hole. Once again, Snyder foreshadows, this time the end of this story, when Skinner fearlessly travels into the cave of the fist Native American vampire’s. When the book transitions from the children to the adult armed soldier versions of Skinner and Jim, we see the versions of their characters we are familiar with nearly fully formed. Jim Book is straight laced, follows the rules, and upholds rank and the chain of command.  Skinner meanwhile, is the risk taker who falls out of line, breaks the rules, and even deserts the army, all to prove that his supervisor’s information and tactics are wrong. He feels the natives are undermanned, while his supervisors feel they are outnumbered. Of course Skinner is technically right. The circumstances may be different but his attitude and behaviour is exactly in line with what got vampire Skinner into trouble with the ancient European vampires in the first story. This book is a lesson in Scott Snyder being a master at the art of the callback and seamlessly tying his previous work with his newest installment. One area this book suffers in is its portrayal of the Indian Wars.  We’re told that they’re brutal, but we never really see the affects the war has on the combatants.  This is unfortunate, especially when you see how fantastically Snyder handled World War II Japan in the last arc.  Snyder had a chance to highlight the horrors Native American’s experienced, yet here it was simply glossed over.

The reason I said Skinner was technically right about the Native American forces being undermanned, was due to the fact that he had no knowledge of their ace in the hole or should I say, ace in the cave!? This being Mimiteth, the Goddess of Death.  The second issue of this three part story tells the story of Mimiteth, a young Native American woman who was sold into slavery by her French husband, to other European travelers who wanted to use her as a translator.  One night, she followed them from their camp into the woods, she saw them transform into Vampires and maul a bear. When they catch wind of her they drain her of her blood.  However she survives due to an immunity to wood and her ability to feed on sunlight. When she comes to, after herself feeding, she absconds to a cave in her village of origin.  In this story’s present day, the head of the Apache tribe summons her and asks her to help save their people and turn the tide of the war. She agrees but ultimately her hunger is too strong. She kills the members of her tribe and absconds back into her cave.  The book closes with a wayward Skinner arriving at the top of the cave, seeing all the Apache warriors’ dead, before fearlessly entering the cave.  This segment reminded me of the Smallville episode Skinwalkers. That episode featured a woman who would turn into a wolf to protect the sacred Native American caves that Lionel Luthor wanted to excavate and then demolish. Initially she just wanted to scare Lionel’s contractors, but the animalistic nature of the beast within her took over and she killed. In this story Mimiteth didn’t want to kill, which is why she secluded herself in a cave.  However, her vampiric thirst and hunger for blood led her to killing her own people.  I assume that when Skinner walks into the cave, shortly thereafter he is turned into a vampire. I could be wrong, but it’s never shown.  If this is the case, I’m slightly disappointed at being robbed of that iconic moment.

Jordi Bernet steps in on art for this three issue story.  While I’ve grown to appreciate the regular artist on this book, I really enjoyed this artwork.  It was certainly refreshing to not have to see every character have a constipated look on their face once every issues.  The art had a very Lone Ranger/Zorro aesthetic to it, which is perfect since were dealing with a “Cowboys vs. Indians tale. The canyons, mountains and ridges looked stunning.  While there was little to no war battle action, the two images of both groups in their bunkers, waiting for the other side to make the first move, looked particularly intense.  To the delight of Miss Kinky Horror herself, this book isn’t afraid to free the nipple. Several times in this book, Mimiteth walked around with her breasts and full nipples exposed.  The two scariest/horrific pages of this book are Mimiteth with her fangs expose ready to attack the Apache tribe and Skinner Sweet and James book discovering those bloodied dead bodies scattered all over the ridge.  Mimiteth full Vampire look is monstrous, specifically classic devil looking.  While this design looks too unoriginal and safe, I appreciate that the artists give us new vampire designs every time the story takes us to a new era.

Is this portion of the American Vampire a must read? I would say no, simply because it doesn’t advance the overall mythology forward.  Would I still recommend you read it? Yes. It gives readers our first taste of the true American Vampire.  I for one love that it’s a woman and a Native American woman too. Taking two often extremely marginalized groups, and putting them at the forefront of a popular series, with a brand new vampire mythology makes for a great idea, and a good story.

Goon Review: Vamp (1986)

(Submitted by Mr. Andrew Peters…Thanks, my wickedly awesome ho-rror ho-mie! 🙂 xoxo)

Can we agree that vampires are horribly misrepresented nowadays? I could count how many decent vampire movies that came out since 2000 on one hand, even if I were missing a few fingers. After the ‘80s, vampires didn’t seem to work too well. During that decade, we saw too much of the fashion and pop culture making their way into these films, like the filmmakers wanted to “modernize” vampires. They also had this unnecessary trend of having one of the characters reiterate all of the vampire rules just incase you have comatosed since the beginning of vampire films and didn’t know what kind of creatures there were. In all seriousness, a lot of vampire movies I like come from the ‘80s, including Fright Night and Near Dark (which in my opinion is the best vampire movie). I didn’t include The Lost Boys, because personally I don’t like it and I know it has a huge following, but it just doesn’t do anything for me.

Somewhere in the middle of all those movies lies Vamp from 1986, a movie that was advertised to be much darker than it actually is. The first time I ever saw this movie, I was a little disappointed I didn’t get the movie that was sold to me and it was jarring to watch this sophomoric comedy that happened to have vampires and an albino gang. I didn’t know what the hell was going on, but slowly it began to grow on me somewhat. It’s not a bad film, but it’s not the greatest. It’s about as middle of the road as you can get. The humor doesn’t always work, it doesn’t offer anything to frighten you, it’s quite predictable, but visually it’s super stylish. There’s mood and atmosphere to accompany the style Vamp undeniably has. It’s be can cool, it’s a little sexy and it’s very much a product of the ‘80s vampire era.

Chris Makepeace and Robert Rusler play Keith and AJ (I’ll let you guess which one of the two plays the loveable asshole), two young college studs that are trying to find just the right fraternity to join and not just any old fraternity will do. They are looking to rub elbows with the rich and spoiled, so ya know, less college work for them. Offering to provide the frat with any service, and they do mean anything, the frat tasks them with getting a stripper for their party. Sounds like no problem for two resourceful, handsome gents… except between them, so after enlisting the help of rich kid Duncan, they head off to the dirtiest part of town. Duncan serves almost no purpose for the film other than to later try and the wool over your eyes, but it doesn’t work. He pretty much just drinks and regurgitates bad jokes, but hey, this Meatballs inspired vampire flick needs a cliched Asian character. Speaking of Meatballs, Chris Makepeace was also in that movie. Well, let’s move on.

The trio runs into an albino gang at a pitstop for some coffee and now I realized I wrote the words “albino gang.” The leader, who kinda looks like a Pablo Honey era Thom Yorke pulls a switchblade on them, but AJ’s also kind of a badass and turns the tables. The scene ends and the film carries on and as it progresses, it will be in the back of your mind and you won’t be able to help yourself and wonder, “what the hell did that have to do with anything?” The short answer is nothing. Not a goddamn thing other than to add an action scene later that could honestly be cut from the film and it would have no effect on the overall feature or maybe it was to pad out the run time. When it comes to things like this in films like this, neither answer would surprise me.

Somewhere in between classy and sleazy is the nightclub, ran by a slender man in a pink suit named Vic and his brute of an enforcer, Vlad, where they decide to find their stripper and the patrons and workers are also somewhere in between classy and sleazy. Actually, it’s very fitting with how I first described this movie. It’s like it wants to take inspiration from others, but never finds an identity of its own. An old acquaintance of Keith’s, a very cute and new wave looking girl named Allison played by Dedee Pfeiffer, recognizes him, but he can’t seem to recognize her. Honestly, how could you forget such a cute face like that? This is Dedee Pfeiffer at her cutest. She would go on to do a lot of TV show appearances, like Supernatural, but her real big credit would go to starring alongside the 2000 action flick, Billy Ray Cyrus starring vehicle, Radical Jack. It’s worth it to see Billy Ray Cyrus try and play an action star.

Now for the main event. A mysterious woman named Katrina (Grace Jones) takes the stage and performs a very ritualistic style dance that commands attention, although I’d have to say it’s the fell-asleep-with-product-in-my-hair hairstyle I couldn’t take my eyes off of. Being thoroughly impressed, AJ, unbeknownst to Keith, goes backstage to hire Katrina, but never comes back. Keith now starts to realize that there is some really weird stuff going on, like Vic snacking on crickets and everybody seems to be telling him that AJ ditched him. Something isn’t right here and as Keith keeps meddling, his questions are making him a target and soon he’s confronted by AJ who is telling him to relax and then reveals himself to be a vampire! But, ya know, not before going down the list of rules that makes you a vampire. As I said, a lot of vampire movies at this time had a character exposition dump all the vampire rules, because the filmmakers and studios thought we were idiots and had never seen or heard of vampires before. No matter what film it’s in, these scenes bring the movie to a screeching halt for me and it never fits in. Well, it only lasts several minutes before the two are forced to fight and Keith escapes to learn that the whole nightclub and most of the town are bloodsuckers!

At this point, it’s relatively paint by numbers without any surprises, although the film will still try to make you believe there may be. Keith tries to survive the night along with his new galpal Allison, but escaping seems much harder than it should be and the film does a great job at this point of making an open city feel closed off and isolated. Keith is even driven into the sewers for hiding after being confronted by the albino gang once again, which at this point feels like filler. They needed something to stretch out the run time, so they added a subplot with a bunch of violent, punk rock albinos. Come to think of it, albinos are fairly rare, so the fact that they all found each other and formed a gang is commendable.

I have to wonder if From Dusk Til Dawn would later take the idea of a strip club full of vampires. Just a thought that’s totally irrelevant. So anyway, Arrow Video presents Vamp in a brand new high definition digital transfer that looks quite remarkable. The film itself is lit with a lot of magentas and greens, almost like it’s a comic book and this new transfer helps those colors really pop out and it looks really beautiful. There are some other features included, like a brand new documentary called One of Those Nights that interviews the cast and crew as they recall making the film. There are some funny stories involved, so it’s absolutely worth a watch. Retro viewers might get a kick out the rehearsals video and blooper reel or even director Richard Wenk’s short film Dracula Bites the Big Apple.

Vamp may not be the best vampire movie or even the best college buddy comedy, but it’s not horrible in any way. It unfortunately misses the mark at mixing both genres and has noticeable filler, but thanks to great performances, special effects and likeable characters, it will be one of the better “teen vampire” movies to me.

Blacula (1972)

(Submitted with all the love by Mr. Anton Phibes…Thank you, my fang-tastic friend. 🙂 xoxo)

“You shall pay, black prince. I shall place a curse of suffering on you that will doom you to a living hell. I curse you with my name. You shall be… Blacula!”

-Dracula

The Vampire is a rather pitiful figure. Unable to die a nature death, the vampire stalks the earth for sustenance out of a primitive need to survive.  If it feeds, it is considered a monster. If it resists the urge, it ceases to be. Along with a taste for blood, it carries with it many lifetimes of regret and sorrow, constantly tormented by the cruelty of Memory. The creature can never again walk on a warm summer’s day or experience warmth of any kind, save for the searing touch of a crucifix. Life(?) isn’t all romance and sparkles for the Vampire.

Traditionally, movie vampires are not particularly tragic. Cinema tends to focus on the monstrous side of vampires, not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, I usually prefer bloodsuckers who have a little bite to them. Save for one quick line about how  “glorious” it would be to be truly dead, Lugosi’s Dracula was primarily a ghoul, while Christopher Lee’s Count said very little and drank blood very often. One of the earliest depictions of a vampire as a tragic figure was 1935’s Dracula’s Daughter, the direct sequel to Universal’s Dracula. Other than that, there was Barnabas Collins from Dark Shadows, but these two examples represent a minority of the subgenre. Considering this, it was rather bold for a film like Blacula to go in this direction.

Conceived as an attempt to capitalize on the enormous success of the growing “Blaxploitation” craze, American International Pictures saw a chance to cash in by producing a contemporary gothic horror picture with a primarily black cast. The result was Blacula. The film was intended to be more of a blatant cash-in, but star William Marshall wanted to give the film the dignity he felt it deserved. With Marshall’s influence, Blacula’s name changed from “Andrew Brown” to “Mamuwalde,” became an African prince, and was injected with pathos. His Mamuwalde is a man condemned to vampirism by an incredibly racist Dracula after the Count refused to help Mamuwalde suppress the slave trade. Mamuwade and his wife Luva are imprisoned, leaving Luva to die and Mamuwalde to suffer in isolation.

Nearly two centuries later, Mamuwade’s coffin is rediscovered in Transylvania by two flamboyantly gay antique dealers (there is a total lack of political correctness here that may be unpleasant for modern viewers, but please bear with the movie.) who transport the casket to California, inadvertently resurrecting the vampire in the process. Once revived, the vampiric prince stalks the night and begins to turn others into Creatures of the Night, like any respectable vampire is likely to do.  Mamuwalde soon discovers Tina, a woman he believes to be the reincarnation of his beloved Luva and attempts to reunite with his lost love. With his beloved wife found, Mamuwalde plans to  be with her forever… even if that means turning her into one of the undead.

William Marshall completely and utterly dominates this picture. While most of the other actors are quite good in their respective parts, it’s the Shakespearian Marshall who makes this film an eternal classic. Marshall’s Mamuwalde is an honorable man damned to the existence of a demon. All he really wants to do is reconnect with his humanity and the woman he loves. Mamuwalde doesn’t enjoy being a monster, but it’s his cross to bear… and it burns him as much as an actual cross would.  Marshall’s eloquence and regal bearing allow him to endear himself to us as a gentleman besmirched by fate… and terrify us an uncontrollable beast with an insatiable appetite for blood. As far as I’m concerned, William Marshall’s Mamuwalde is one of the most excellent vampires to ever haunt the screen.

With the exception of a few jokes, Blacula tells its story in a commendably straight fashion. Before Hammer gave it go Dracula A.D. 1972, Blacula combined traditional gothic frights with a contemporary vibe that manages to do justice to both the old and the new. The film also features some of the most memorable vampire minions in fright film history. Painted in ghastly white, the ghouls here are given an appearance that feels effectively ghost-like. With their fangs bared and their eerie stares, these ghouls are truly frights to behold.

 Blacula ends on a rather tragic  note. There is no triumphant stake through the heart and the young human lovers do not embrace at the end. Instead of the customary “Good Triumphs Over Evil” ending, the heroine loses her life and the monster is denied the love he fought so hard for. With no reason to keep existing, Mamuwalde solemnly tells his attackers to stand down and simply walks out into the sun. For a film intended to be a silly cash-in, that a pretty haunting ending. Like with so many great movie monsters before and since him, Mamuwalde’s passing is a dagger through the heart. For all his sins, he was primarily an ill-fated man damned into evil by forces beyond his control.

William Marshall went on to went on to portray the character again in Scream Blacula, Scream with the same grace he brought to the first.  In later years, Marshall played the “King of Cartoons” on Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, earning a new generation of fans. While I adore him on that show, it’s his portrayal of Blacula that has made him a legend. Mr. Marshall brought nobility to a part that easily could have been phoned in and made us feel sympathy for a real monster. For that reason, he will always be my favorite pain in the neck. Blacula shall never die!

Goon Review: Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest Soundtrack

(Submitted by Mr. Andrew Peters…Thanks, ya big Goon! 😉 xoxo)

Castlevania without a doubt holds a place in video game history. It had some solid gameplay, cool tunes and it was creepy, plus what kid didn’t want to fight monsters, like Dracula? It help shape the side scrolling platformer and many would come to imitate it. Castlevania’s sequel, Simon’s Quest, however, is a totally different story. Although it was still the same side scrolling platforming style as the original, it tried to add some RPG elements to the game that didn’t mesh well and players were forced to wander back and forth between towns, farming for hearts. This was to pad out the length of the game and boy, did it feel like it. The game also confused gamers by adding cryptic text from villagers that were supposed to be hints at what to do next, except they made no sense and gamers were lost. Remember having to equip the red crystal and kneeling next to a wall for five seconds to make a tornado appear and then you could continue the game? Of course you do now, but the game never told you that!

Okay, so it wasn’t the best game. Or very well liked by fans. Or very well liked by critics for that matter either. But if there is one thing everyone universally agrees on, it’s that the soundtrack was – and still is – amazing. Arguably, it’s still one of the best out there and has some of the most iconic and memorable tracks by Konami Kukeiha Club. Having ventured from horror and sci-fi soundtracks over to video games, Mondo has “whipped” up a stellar release of Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest on vinyl that’s worthy of any vampire slayer.

Being a company that loves and respects art, Mondo never skips on the presentation. First impressions and all, you know. Eric Powell’s artwork is an astonishing way to catch someone’s attention with Simon fighting a legion of skeletons. Kinda reminds me a Ray Harryhausen film. Behind him is a twisted path that leads up to Castlevania with skelefied version of Dracula over a full moon. Gotta hand it to Eric Powell there for capturing how Dracula looks in the game, since some people forget that he kinda looks like Death himself. Overall, it’s a perfect image that captures the good aspects of the game in one look. The backside is a werewolf beginning to reach out for you and I have to admit that it reminds me of old Nintendo Power Magazine images, which makes this packaging feel totally nostalgic. Once you open it, you’ll find the map of the whole world from Simon’s Quest with nothing labeled, like it’s something hand drawn… which it is, so this makes total sense. The vinyl itself is pressed on blue vinyl with green splatter, giving it a groovy effect.

Rather than split up the tracks on both sides, Mondo has done something unique that I am sure collectors and fans alike appreciate; Side A of the record presents the NES version of the soundtrack and Side B is the Famicom version of the soundtrack. For those of you who don’t know, the Famicom is the Japanese version of the NES and although both sides have the same nine tracks in the same order, the sound of them is different. The NES version sounds more rock/poppy (as much as 8-bit can) whereas the Famicom version sounds more rustic, like something you would expect an old vampire film to have. The Famicom version certainly fits the mood more and can create a haunting atmosphere (which I do love), I often prefer the NES version. Maybe it’s because that’s what I grew up with or certain tracks like the popular Bloody Tears sounds fantastic when it’s got more kick and gets you all energetic.

Listening to the whole album is like a quick walk through the game itself without all the backtracking and farming and it actually made me remember the parts of the game that I actually liked. It even made me feel that sensation of accomplishment when you finally figured out what to do next and continued further. I even found myself bobbing my head and tapping my foot to the tracks as it progressed and I continuously flipped the record over and over and replaying it for long periods of a time, because the soundtrack is that good and everlasting. Kinda like Dracula himself. It’s kind of a short experience, but video game music wasn’t that long to begin with. It was usually a short amount of music looped, but when it’s this good, you really don’t mind going back and playing it again. You can purchase the soundtrack at the Mondo site for only 20 hearts… I mean, dollars.

TV Review: Van Helsing: Season 1

(In ho-nor of New Comic Book Day, I figured we’d go another round with our SuperheroScifi guru, Mr. Prince Adam…Thanks for reminding me this exxxists, sir. I’m ashamed I haven’t checked it out yet, but I shall correct my misdeeds posthaste! 😉 xoxo)

“Vanessa Helsing, distant relative of famous vampire hunter Abraham Van Helsing, is resurrected only to find that vampires have taken over the world.”  (SyFy)

At the end of every episode, the credits indicate that this show was “inspired” by the Zenescope comic book.  The similarities between the show and the comic are that they both center on a female relative of vampire hunter Abraham Van Heling., and in both cases, the female lead was resurrected after presumed death. The difference between the two characters are; the comic book version being the daughter of Abraham Van Helsing, resurrected after hundreds of years, while the TV show incarnation is the great, great, great granddaughter of Abraham Van Helsing, who was resurrected three years after death..  If I had to compare this show to anything, I’d say it’s The Walking dead but for vampires. Essentially the story tracks a core group of survivors, who have been combating and also are always on the run from vampires. As for how the vampires took over, and forced humanity into slavery, as well as being their breakfast lunch and dinner, that is explained and I dig the explanation.  A volcano eruption in Wyoming has covered the air with smoke, smog, soot etc. This accumulation of darkness has in effect blocked out the sun, allowing the vampires to rise up and take control of the earth. To prolong the darkness, the vampires have taken control and are messing around with power plants. With all this going on we’re thrown into a feud between two sects of vampires. The ancients and the ferals. Ancients are more humanoid in thought, speech and appearance.  While they can’t live forever, they live several hundreds of years.  Meanwhile, ferals are newly minted vampires, lacking the proper amount of human blood consumption following their turn. This causes diminished intelligence and more animalistic look, mannerisms and behavior.  I love these new added wrinkle in vampire mythology. I also find it unique that both are after Vanessa for different reasons; the Ancients want to use her to prolong their race, while the ferals want to exterminate her to protect themselves. There’s a fascinating power struggle at play in this book.

Having the surname of Helsing isn’t what makes Vanessa so interesting to both sets of Vampires, it’s the blood that courses through her veins that is most unique. One night, before The Rising, single mother Vanessa was celebrating her daughter’s birthday.  The two were attacked by a vampire.  While the young girl escaped, Vanessa was furiously bitten by a feral.  However, rather than turning herself, her external wounds heal, and the vampire who bit her ends up dying. She is taken to a Seattle hospital, for observation, but shortly after The Rising, the military took control of her case and began running tests and experiments on our comatose. Hero   When we pick up her story three years after The Rising, Vanessa awakens in the now run down Seattle hospital while her fellow members of The Resistance, are fending off a vampire attack. Once again Vanessa is bit, however this time, the vampire who bit her begins throwing up blood, appears to die, but later returns to life as a normal human.  The idea of Van Helsing having powers has never been a part of any version I’ve seen or read before. So this is very new and interesting to me. I loved that the reveal of Vanessa’s heritage was a slow burn, over the course of the entire season. I was eagerly awaiting, watching every new episode hoping to get the next piece of the puzzle.  The nature of her abilities is a bit of a mystery. That mystery deepens, when Vanessa is captured by the vampires. There are two instances when this happens, and in both, Vanessa must bite a human and or drink human blood. In both cases, her healing factor quickened and she got stronger. I’m starting to think that Vanessa is somehow a vampire/human hybrid, and that’s why Dimitri wants her, because she can birth them daywalkers, as she is the original daywalker. That’s just my theory for now, so we’ll have to wait until Season 2 to see if I’m right.

I’ve mentioned the resistance Vanessa is in league and travelling worth, so let’s give them a closer look. The core group consists of Axel Miller, Sam, John, Doc, Flesh, Mohamad, and Susan. Each one had unique reasons for taking up the fight against the vampire’s, most of which make you as a viewer instantly connect with them. Even before finding out she was a Van Helsing, Vanessa took up the fight to find her daughter, who had gone missing when Vanessa was attacked. Susan was a neighbor and best friends to Vanessa. Vanessa had saved her from an abusive boyfriend, and then turned her human after they had reunited and Vanessa realized Susan had been turned during The Rising.  Susan fights out of loyalty and payback to her best friend. John is a former military man, along with Axel. After his wife was killed by vampires, his vendetta against them led him to take up arms against them. Doc is the doctor who presided over Vanessa and who the government had working on a cure for vampirism. She was bitten, but Axel kept her confined and fed from his own blood, until Vanessa returned her to human form. Flesh is the first vampire Vanessa encounters, and turns back to a human being. He stays with the resistance to atone for the sins he committed as a vampire, chief among them, slaughtering his wife and kids.  Sam and Mohamad are kind of a package details. Both used to be slaves and escaped. Mohamad now hunts vampires in search of his sister, who is still at one of their slave camps, while Sam has taken to protecting Mohamad.  I thought certain actors deserve recognition for excellent work, while others weren’t so good. Kelly Overton juggled the feelings of confusion over her new status quo, and sadness over her characters missing daughter perfectly, all the while flipping the switch just enough to go full on badass when the character had to fight the undead.  Vincent Gale as the vampire reborn as a human known as Flesh, was strong in portraying his characters sadness and repentant over killing his entire family. He questioned whether he was worthy of forgiveness and a second chance. As a viewer you can believe and appreciate his pain, but also question whether he can truly atone from something so heinous. A fantastic performance was given by Christopher Heyerdahl as Sam. The character of Sam is deaf and suffers a speech impediment. The veteran actor portrays these aspects of his character and the vocal and physical mannerisms with such sincerity and care.  All this is heightened because we’re dealing with a world that is over-run by Vampires. I’m so thrilled the creative team put this actor and character front and center on the show and made him a force to be reckoned with, rather than a frail person in need of rescuing.  My two favorite frightening performances belong to Paul Johansson as Dmitri and Laura Minnelli as Rebecca, The vampire duo don’t speak very often but are so menacing and methodical in their mannerism and movements, they are instantly imposing in every scene they’ re in.  Even if the show was on mute, you’d understand the fear other characters, both vampire and human have towards them.  On occasions when they do speak, there accents are passable, and never end up being over the top. Several actors do give over the top performances.  I thought Rukiya Bernard as Doc and Hilary Jardine as Susan, went unnecessarily over board in most of their scenes, regardless of the events that were unfolding, or the emotion that was called for.  On the other hand, I thought Trezzo Mahoro was rather bland as Mohamad. While I thought the friendship between Mohamad and Sam was written well, the character of Sam elevated it and made it stand out. Finally, actor Jonathan Scarfe who played Axel came off a little too stereotypical armed soldier to me. He felt like a one dimensional G.I. Joe character.

 When I mentioned this show is like The Walking Dead for Vampires, I meant that because our resistance group is constantly on the run from them late in the season. The original base of operation for our resistance is the abandoned hospital outfitted with booby traps and UV lighting, it keeps the vampires away.  When the power source is damaged, Vanessa and Axel head out into the streets on a parts scavenging mission. It is here, they meet another group of resistance fighters who have wounded members. Vanessa and Axel, take them to the hospital. Shortly thereafter, one of the members of the incoming resistance is murdered. Blaming Axel and Vanessa’s crew, the new tenant’s mutiny, taking control of the hospital. Believing Mohamad to be the culprit, they banish him to the unprotected outside world. Axel, Vanessa and crew eventually reverse mutiny, exile their captors and take back control of the hospital. That success is short lived as the vampires use a human to trip up the hospitals U.V defenses and launch an attack.  This forces our protagonist to flee and head to an abandoned army bunker. Their peace and respite are once again upset when a grenade is set off, barricading them inside,  While stuck inside, the murderer seemingly attempts to strike again, when John gets a little too rough with Susan, to the point where he is choking her. The group calls him out on it and upon further investigation, find evidence connecting him to the previous murder.  The group ultimately decides to kill him. Most of the group find a way out of the bunker via underground tunnels, however, one of the key figures in the group is killed, as they try and thwart off vampires in their escape. The remaining survivors head to a farming community of humans who have bargained with the vampires; blood in exchange for peace. A darker pact is revealed. In that the head of the community is providing actual young children and babies are being offered up to the vampires, not just blood. The leader of this group is killed, and Flesh decides to stay with this community to help them rebuild.  As Vanessa and the others embark on their journey to Dmitri’s concentration camp, the killer strikes again, meaning Vanessa and company were wrong in killing John.  The killer is taken out to the woods and wounded to the point where he/she couldn’t get away and was left there as vampire fodder. The Final act of the film finds Vanessa betrayed by one of her own and led straight to Dmitri.  The final battle between Vanessa taking on Dmitri and Rebecca features deception and death. It also answers the question of what happens to Vanessa’s daughter, tantalizingly setting up season 2.

 

This show is insane, in the best possible way. There’s always a threat of a vampire attack and our main characters are always on the run.  As a viewer, just as you get used to their new situations, those situations get upended.   Every time they meet fellow resistance groups, they encounter people who are secretly in league with the vampires.  Some of these defectors happen to be some of the shows main characters. Add to that a serial killer in their midst and WOW! Trust me, you won’t see the reveal for that one coming.  I’m not giving you spoilers on any of the big reveals or events of episodes, because that would absolutely ruin the season as a whole. I love that this show goes the Game of Thrones route and isn’t afraid to kill off, or change the status quo of our main characters. It takes balls to do that, and make things more interesting.  The show doesn’t shy away from violence. Heads are chopped off, vampires are stabbed through the neck etc.  The violence and blood spatter is more in line with Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill, you know that hyper exaggerated style.  My top 3 favourite episodes are Help Me, Stay Away, and It Begins. Help Me is the pilot and instead of slow expository setup, it throws you right into the craziness of this post-apocalyptic vampire run world with a vampire attack on our main heroes and their home base.  Stay Away is a great episode because the mysterious killer is revealed. It Begins is the season finale and gives us the war that’s been brewing for the first nine episodes.  The reveal at the end was so big, that it had be going full Darth Vader, screaming “NOOOOOOO”; especially with the knowledge that I’d have to wait for season two.  If you’re a fan of vampires and The Walking Dead formula, this show definitely should be on your watch list.  Finally, SyFy has given us a show we can truly sink our teeth into.

Comic Book Review: American Vampire Volume 3: Ghost War

(Submitted with gusto by our Heroic Ho-mie, Mr. Prince Adam…Thanks, Super Fiend!! 🙂 xoxo)

This volume of the critically-acclaimed AMERICAN VAMPIRE follows the star of AV Volumes 1 and 2, Pearl, and her husband Henry, as he is recruited by a mysterious group of vampire hunters, off to World War II Japan to find a new breed of blood sucker. But what does the notorious vampire Skinner Sweet have to do with it? (Vertigo)

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The first two volumes have taken us to several different era’s. Volume 1 took us through the Wild West, to 1920’s Hollywood and a pre Sin City Las Vegas. That formula continues, in that the story takes us to World War II. Scott Snyder takes that conceit one step further by moving the story from the U.S.A to Japan To me this is a great idea. I’m curious as to how the rest of the world deals with and interacts with vampires, a curiosity which this plot point satiates. Rather than bombarding us with a plethora of new characters, Pearl Jones, her husband Henry Preston and of course Skinner Sweet wind up in Japan. How they get there is due to Henry and Pearl enlisting, and with help from the Vassal’s of the Morning Star. While Pearl turned them down to work as their American vampire informant last volume, her husband secretly made a deal to do so, in exchange for keeping Pearl and his true identity a secret. So as this story starts, the clandestine group has come to collect a favor and arranged for Henry to be stationed with soldiers/ undercover vampire hunters in Japan to investigate a new species of vampire. Cleverly, Scott Snyder drops the hint that gold is deadly to the American Vampire, which is ironic given Skinner Sweet’s past involvement in the Gold Rush. The ever expanding Vampire mythology is given an added twist. Where normal vampires either look normal or can shape change, this Japanese nest of vampires is more animalistic and bestial. The traditional vampire is essentially an evil version of who the person once was, while these new vampires are feral and don’t look at all human. This ever expanding vampire mythology is fascinating and continues to surprise me, when I think it no longer can.

ghostwar2 Speaking of Pearl and Skinner, their inclusion into this story is directly linked. Skinner reveals to Pearl that Henry has been lying to her and is working for the Vassal’s of the Morning Star. He vows to get revenge on Henry on her behalf. What you come to know, is that in his own sick and twisted way, Skinner is in love with Pearl. More to the point, Skinner is angry because Henry has revealed details about the American vampire, and how to kill them to the organization out to kill them. So he heads to Japan to kill Henry, with self preservation and getting the girl in mind. He’s continuing in full asshole mode from last volume. When he gets to Japan and confronts this new species of vampire in a fight, he’s shocked to realize that this vampire could hurt and potentially kill him. So he teams up with Henry and his covert soldiers to defeat them as a means of preservation. Pearl Jones was underused in volume 2 but is used in full force for this story. The way she was able to fear shame one of the leaders of the Vassal’s to reveal the true nature of Henry’s deployment, and gets herself a deployment there as well was a total badass move. Once she gets there, I loved the confrontation between her and Skinner Sweet. She was so confrontational and forceful with him. Physically, she was more than capable of going toe to toe with him in a fight. This is definitely against type for vampire lore. Usually the protégée is very submissive to the vampire who sired them. That’s not the case here and the story is so much more interesting because of it.
I was relieved to see that both Japan and World War II weren’t just used as a throw away backdrop setting. The big reveal of this book is that the Japanese are capturing allied soldier in internment camps and feeding them to these vampires. There plan is to turn allied forces into this new breed of vampires, which in the process will turn the tide of the war. The great thing about this is that even with the supernatural vampire element, the war is still shown as brutal, taxing, both emotionally and physically and intensely violent. I find that sometimes different forms of media portray war in too good of a light. It looks too much like a multimillion dollar action movie. When that happens, you can sometime lose the gravity and loss of the situation. Scott Snyder has prevented this from happening by crafting a story that is one part David Ayer’s Fury and also Guillermo Del Toro’s Blade II. One of our three leads doesn’t make it out of this story alive and there’s a big twist in store for the American Vampire bloodline. However, I won’t reveal those spoilers; you’ll have to read the book for answers, or wait to see if I reveal them in my review of the next volume.

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ghostwar4 Rafael Albuquerque once again is responsible for art. I have both praised and been critical of his work. I will say that this volume is the best work of his so far. The man can draw a World War II warzone fantastically. When the bombs were dropping on the village inhabited by the hive of new vampires, the art was appropriately scattered and chaotic. In the imagery where Henry and the soldiers get trapped underground and buried underneath the rubble, the characters sense of claustrophobia and fear comes across on the page. I absolutely love the look of the newest species of vampire. They can truly be described as a monster. They remind me a bit of an amalgamation of King Shark and Aliens. The Japanese prison camp cells and the pits that allied soldiers were thrown into as bait for the vampires, looked like something out of Gladiator. I wonder if the film influenced the artist’s designs at all.

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ghostwar6 Scott Snyder and Rafael Albuquerque have hit a field goal when it comes to American Vampire. Each volume is better than the last. This creative team never takes their success for granted. They constantly push forward, expanding on their ideas and constantly bringing new aspects to the mythology. I’m tempted to review every volume in succession it’s so good, but I like bringing you guys a variety of reviews and waiting to read and review more installments of American Vampire increases my anticipation for the title.

#TBT: My Girlfriend’s a Vampire (Totally NSFW BTW :)

Heck, this whole site is probably NSFW, but since this particular post is a bit more graphic than normal, I figured I should at least warn ya. 🙂

If you’re bold enough to continue this lil’ walk down Mammory Lane with me, I present you with today’s #TBT offering. It’s the skinematic classic, My Girlfriend’s a Vampire, “starring” (not really :)) your Fiend-ly Neighborhood Spider Baby, Miss Die-ana Prince (billed as Kasey Kroft in this particular picture).mgav2mgav.

(That’s me waaaaaay down there in the corner, ya see… ;))

This was filmed back in the Dark Ages of my early porn days, when I literally had no clue what was going on ever. I basically just showed up and did what I was told without ever being sure quite what I was getting into until I got to set. That’s why I’d completely forgotten this (blood) sucker eXXXisted; I didn’t even know it was supposed to have a plot (n’stuff) til I was just told to go do it. Apparently I was supposed to be a Vampire Hunter (or something… ;)). All I really remember is that I got to wear some badass gloves:

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(Holy. Cow. I cannot believe I was EVER that skinny!!! Go eat a sammich, gurl!!! Slaying -or whatever- takes strength!!! ;))

I was reminded of all this recently whilst doing some research for an upcoming ep of Karnal Kombat. I was trying to find some obscure Vampire titles, and voila!! I thought about adding it to my KK Kue, but I figured it’d be too torturous to sit through, so I’d spare myself the pain. 😉 If you happen to be a true masochist, though (props to you!!! ;)), here’s a little teaser preview for your viewing “pleasure”. 😉

You can see the rest here if you’re truly a degenerate (again, yay for you!! ;)). Personally, I’m not quite hardcore enough to tolerate that eXXXtreme level of torture…ZERO HORRORGASMS for this #TBT (though I might be a lil’ biased with this one… ;))

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(Very practical Slayer-wear… ;)) xoxoxo