Goon Review: The Walking Dead: A New Frontier: Above the Law

(Submitted by our Ho-rror Ho-mie, Mr. Andrew “Goon” Peters…Thanks, my freaky friend! 🙂 xoxo)

As I read the title for Episode 3 of The Walking Dead: A New Frontier, Above the Law, I shouted “LEEEWWWW-AHHHH,” like Armand Asante as Judge Rico from the Judge Dredd movie. Anyone else? No, just me? Anyway, we last left Javi and his group at the mercy of The New Frontier so that Kate, who was just shot in the belly, could get some medical attention and who should come storming out of the gate to meet them? Javi’s brother, David, who they thought to have been dead this whole time and I’m sure he’s thought the same of them. Welp, get ready for an awkward family reunion.

Javi and David are clearly shocked to see each other alive and although David barely notices Gabe, he’s still happy to give him a hug nonetheless and is able to immediately get Kate some medical attention while Javi and the rest of the group get tossed in a cell. Looks like a happy family reunion is gonna have to wait so that the crew can basically recap the story up until this point. I found it odd that this time was just spent rehashing everything we just saw instead of moving it forward, but eventually David shows up to take Javi to meet with the other council members that will determine whether or not Javi’s group can stay and become part of The New Frontier. Hmm, a council of elder like folks that determine the greater good of the people? That never ends with deception and betrayal. I don’t foresee one of them screwing everyone over for personal gain in their own agenda…

But first, it’s time to visit Kate and it plays out about as awkward as you would think. Kate fakes pain to have a moment alone with Javi and of course David walks in at an almost opportune time. I don’t understand why they just don’t talk about it already. Kate’s feelings for Javi and her disdain for David becomes evident when she asks you to bail on this place with her and Gabe. No goodbyes, no explaining anything to David, just up and run. Your response to Kate feels like the first time in this episode that something may shape what happens later. Unfortunately, the rest of the episode feels void of this feeling.

Now that you are finally in front of the council, it’s time to see if you will fit in, but first the leaders; There’s a drug addicted doctor named Paul Lingard who is seemingly spineless, Clint the farmer who also seems spineless, then you have David (who we know) and that leaves us with Joan who is like if Roseanne Barr wanted hair like Rogue from X-Men. She’s a total ball buster and seems to have a power over the others. This becomes more predictable as this scene plays out and identifying the puppet master becomes quite easy, but Max appears to throw a monkey wrench in the situation and your rivalry comes forward. It doesn’t seem like no matter what answers you choose, the outcome is going to be the same; you aren’t allowed to stay… except for Kate and Gabe who are more than welcome, so David sends you packing and the dude doesn’t even seem to care. It was at this point I was starting to notice that there wasn’t any dire choices this episode, the choices I made don’t seem to have any weight, but we’re only about halfway through the episode, so there’s plenty of time for things to completely flip around. David isn’t completely without feeling and sends Ava out to give you a care package complete with a baseball bat and a map that has a location marked on it, so the group agrees to head there.

Along the way you run into someone who’s been missing throughout half the episode, Clementine. En route to this mystery location, Clementine explains to Javi why she hates David so much, via flashback in which you learn the fate of baby AJ as well as a council members drug abuse. Although I can see from Clementine’s point of view and understand why she hates David, you can also see that why David made the decision he made and was only looking for what was in the best interest of the group. This is something I picked up at this point is that David may not be the awful person Clementine has led us to believe. He genuinely seems to care about the people in his group and although his anger leads him to make brash decisions, he doesn’t seem deceitful. This episode rightfully focuses on David’s character and exploring it and even though at times you aren’t sure of ‘did he’ or ‘didn’t he,’ you get the feeling there is a greater evil out there, which we are about to find out.

Seeing as this episode has lacked an action sequence, one get tossed at you that is primarily just button mashing while trying to get a shudder door open. There is a bit of puzzle solving, but I wouldn’t even call it a challenge, but instead a race against a time. It’s supposed to get your heart rate moving, but by this point it’s kind of stale. Once inside the shelter after that close call, David arrives and you have a choice to open the door or not. Regardless of what you choose, it will open and once again, doesn’t seem to have any real effect. Javi and the group notice that the supplies in the shelter are from the Prescott Airfield, where you were previously attacked by The New Frontier, along with other places. David is pressed about the matter, but swears he has no knowledge of this and that’s confirmed once Max, Badger and some other thug arrive and exposition dump the hell out the plot, revealing the true culprit. Wanting some revenge for Mariana’s death, the group attacks. This is another Quick Time Event that requires a quick response seeing that even a split second too late results in your death. But if you die, no big deal, you just start right back where you left off.

The finale of the confrontation leaves you with a wounded Badger who you have the option to kill, let Conrad kill (if you didn’t kill Conrad in the previous chapter) or left him turn. I chose the latter, because fuck that scumbag. I get a feeling this may come back to bite me in the ass later, but I feel at this point, Javi really needs to be showing Gabe that murder isn’t necessary… even though we just shot that guy in the gut in self defense. Again, even though I still felt like this decision may come back around to me, at the moment it feels like it bears no weight and that’s something this episode truly lacks; the intense split decision making and the consequences. Even though the QTE’s were somewhat panic inducing, there was never a feeling if I did something incorrectly or my timing was off, it would affect the outcome of the game. In fact, it just resulted in my death in which case I was allowed to try again.

With this new information, the group forms a plan and splits up while Jesus leaves the group in what is the saddest moment thus far. He was such an interesting character and a lot about who he is or what he knows, what a damaged soul he is, is merely hinted at, but my guess is Telltale wanted to save him for a spinoff on a rainy day. Javi and David eventually confront Joan who in classic vaudeville villain style pours herself a drink and sips from it as she reveals herself to be the mastermind and her plan! I know it was supposed to be a shocking moment, but with how predictable it was mixed with how classically evil the display was, I couldn’t help but laugh.

Above the Law is so far the weakest of the episodes with no feeling of dire consequences and boring, button mashing QTE action sequences that are few and far in between. It does however pull a few punches with David’s character, making him somewhat of a believable good guy who is trying to do the right thing. This does make siding with Clementine against David this episode a little difficult, but ultimately the looming baddie Joan is about as a subtle as a Disney villain and regardless of your choices, you know you’re going to end up in the same position. That position, however, looks like it’s going to be leading to some really difficult choices. Consider this the calm before the storm.

News Bleed: The “Rampage of the Crooked Man” Edition

The Conjuring 2’s The Crooked Man will walk a crooked mile to his own film. 🙂 Variety

Jeepers! The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will meet the Universal Monsters (including Chris “Fright Night” Sarandon as Dracula) this season! Bloody Disgusting

Dwayne Johnson shows off some post-monster destruction in this new Rampage set photo. Dread Central


The Mist series won’t be a “monster show”… boo to that! 🙁 Screen Rant

The Elfman cometh… Danny Elfman is doing the score for Justice League! 🙂
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Yo Shiva! The Walking Dead Gets GI Joe-Style Figures exclusive to San Diego Comic Con! 🙂 CBR

Thanks, Caped Crusader… the Bat-Signal will shine over L.A. to honor Adam West. 🙂 Hollywood Reporter

Sadly, Anita Pallenberg of Barbarella fame has passed away. 🙁 The Guardian

#TerrorTuesday Comic Review: The Walking Dead Volume 3

(Submitted by our Superheroic Ho-mie, Mr. Prince Adam…Thanks, Mr. A! 🙂 xoxo)

“This volume follows our band of survivors as they set up a permanent camp inside a prison. Relationships change, characters die, and our team of survivors learn there’s something far more deadly than zombies out there…each other.”


This story picks right up where Volume 2 ended. Our weary group of humans have found an abandoned penitentiary. Well, save for a group of zombies sloshing around the front gate. After dispensing of the zombies, and a little cleanup, Rick and crew believe they have found their new home, the most spacious, and safest yet.  If this sounds at all familiar, it’s reminiscent of last volume when they found the estates.  Much like that story, they found other survivors who gave them food, before also encountering other zombies.  In that story, those people were Tyreese, his daughter and her boyfriend, who are now members of Rick’s zombie hatin’ posse.  In this story, the human survivors found are four inmates, locked safely in the cafeteria.  Sure, they’re convicts, one of which was falsely accused, the other a murderer, another was a drug addict. The final member, was a tax evader.  Still, they seemed very peaceful, reformed and best of all for Rick and company, they have a kitchen full of food, canned and otherwise; enough for a prison full of people. With that in mind, Rick heads to Hershel farm, to get Hershel and the remainder of his children to move into the penitentiary.  Despite the chaos that ensued previously between Hershel’s group and Rick’s survivors, coupled with the fact that Hershel almost shot Rick, I think this gesture is a sign of Rick’s hopefulness and positivity in the face of this hell on Earth.  For the first few issues of this volume, I fell for the false sense of security Rick and Tyreese were feeling.  This is the second volume in a row, where Robert Kirkman played me for a fool. In this case, it’s a mark of great storytelling, so I am not ashamed.

Things start turning sour when Lori begins to worry and express fear about having a murderer and drug addict in their midst.  Rick agrees they should be mindful of potential threats and be cautious, yet remains staunch and optimistic that this new status quo is best for everyone. Tensions are raised higher when Tyreese’s daughter and her boyfriend botch a simultaneous suicide after a night of passionate sex. They planned to shoot each other simultaneously, but Chris accidentally fired too quickly.  When Tyreese discovers what occurs he kills Chris in a fit of anger. I can see both sides of this scenario, On the one hand, the two young lovers know their chances of surviving this zombie apocalypse are slim, so why not go out of this world on their terms, together, and as the Joker says; “If you gotta go, go with a smile.”  It’s very Romeo and Juliet…but with zombies. I understand Tyreese’s actions too, because planned or not, Chris still killed his baby girl. I’d choke the bastard too! I can rationalize both acts from both parties, given the world they inhabit.  These scenes throw an added wrinkle into the story.  What was once human on zombie violence, now has taken on an element of human on human violence.  If that isn’t a twist enough for you, how about the fact that Tyrese’s daughter and her boyfriend turn into zombies after death….without having being bitten!? Holy Plot Twist Batman! I seriously didn’t see that coming.  It’s not explained, as to how it’s possible either. So I wonder, is the zombie gene within every human? Will this ever be answered? It better damn well be because I’m so curious. This plot point leads to a cameo from a character we haven’t seen since the first issue.  If that wasn’t enough proof of the unpredictability of this book, Hershel’s two daughters are murdered and beheaded.  Yes, in the midst of all this, Robert Kirkman had to throw a murder mystery into this story and at no point does this book feel overstuffed or bogged down by it.  Naturally, Team Grimes, specifically Lori, lays blame on either the murder suspect or the former drug addict.  Unsure, the group decides to lock them both in separate cells.  When Andrea is attacked by the criminal who was convicted for tax evasion and her earlobe cut off, Rick loses it, and nearly beats the man to death. Despite protests from his fellow survivors, Rick unilaterally decides that murder will not be tolerated and death will be met with death. So Rick has him thrown outside the gates of the penitentiary, where he is attacked and killed by zombies. The previous suspects are released, but stage a mutiny holding Rick and company at gunpoint, ordering them to leave the penitentiary. Rick finally snapped and the tipping point was Hershel’s daughters being killed. He blames himself for their deaths. However, you can see the events of each volume chipping away at Rick’s calm and sanity.  It continues to affect his relationship with Lori. She’s even getting more snappy with him, though part of that is self admittedly her pregnancy hormones.  One thing I love about this book is that every event counts and affects the next story. Nothing is written as filler. Even if I leave this books for weeks or even months, the preceding storyline stays in the back of my mind, racing to the forefront when I pick up another volume.

Charlie Adlard returns for his second stint on the title.  He definitely seems more comfortable in this world and with these characters. There seems to be more detail in his work.  Last volume, I said the lack of color detracted from the setting of winter.  This time though, it works for the setting.  Inside and outside, the penitentiary looks spacious. There’s a dichotomy with the art on the interior of the Penitentiary.  The kitchen looks plentifully, while the rest of the place looks baron and desolate.  The best two zombie images are the pov shot of Rick and Tyreese peering into the gym seeing a horde of zombies on the other side of the door.  The other standout is when Tyreese is attacked by the zombie horde and they all swarm on top of him.  .  The most gruesome images are the human vs human violence. Tyreese’s dead daughters lying beheaded was disturbing, but the details of Rick dolling out a beating on the murderer is intense.  You can see the welts and bruises on his knuckles, without the aid of coloring.  The best cover of this volume is the one with Rick riding his motorcycle. When in doubt, remember that riding a motorcycle always looks badass!

At this point, I’m not sure if I’m going to watch the TV show.  Too many friends of mine have said it deviates too much from the book and that the storyline has disappointed as the seasons have gone on. One thing is for sure, I’m sticking with the comic book because it keeps getting better and better. I have a long way to go but I’m excited to read more, It’s no wonder this book tops the charts every time a new issue is released each month.

Goon Review: The Walking Dead: The Telltale Series – A New Frontier Episode 1: Ties That Bind

(Thanks so much to Mr. Andrew Peters for this radass review…I love all of TT’s TWD tit-les, and I shall be checking this one mout posthaste!! 🙂 xoxo)

Before we get started on the review, doesn’t that episode sound familiar? Like we’ve heard it before. Was this a title for another Walking Dead game or a superhero game of some kind? Anyway, it’s irrelevant. So, the third season of The Walking Dead subtitled A New Frontier debuted not only it’s first episode, but its second one as well, although for now we will only be talking about the first which is called Ties That Bind Part 1 and it does have some relevance into what happens. Personally, I would love a second season of The Wolf Among Us or Tales From the Borderlands, but I do want to see some closure with Clementine’s character, if done justice.

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Being the fourth Walking Dead series from Telltale, I was worried about this season coming off as stale, seeing as how TWD: Michonne was so milquetoast, it may as well not have existed. Not only that, any incarnation of TWD seems to pander to an audience that only wants to see gore and zombies, shaping itself after the television show. Michonne really suffered from having too many characters that had no substance and you didn’t care about them, which was extremely disappointing seeing as that’s what these games are known for. However, we’ve grown with TWD’s main character Clementine over two seasons. We’ve watched the decaying world – both the state of humanity and the physical form of them – tear away at her as she has resisted to become anything less, but the end of the second season saw her and Jane being pushed to the limit by an old friend.

However, A New Frontier doesn’t throw us right into Clementine’s situation yet. We’re introduced to a new character, Javi. The game opens right as the outbreak is taking place, but people aren’t really aware of it, as we see Javi running to his brother David’s home and explains that he’s late because the highway was congested. His brother insults him, even hits him, because their father died and Javi, being the favorite son, should have been there, but we learn that Javi was never really around. We’re also introduced to other family members, like David’s son Gabe, David’s wife Kate, which the two seem to have a mutual interest in one another and there are various other family members, but the only other one that really matters is Mariana, Javi’s younger niece. Suddenly, Mariana is bringing her grandfather’s favorite drinking cup to him as the others tell her that he’s sleeping, to which she tells them he isn’t… dun dun DUN! Not the strongest opening the series has had, but it was really decent, maybe even a little chilling. Javi’s got some potential to be a good character, so let’s see what’s in store.

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As they check the room, zombie gramps bites grandma on the face and another on the hand. David takes them to the hospital and Javi looks after Kate, Mariana and Gabe. We cut to someone time later and the four seem to have been traveling in a van not down by the river, but all over looking for food, gas, maybe even a home. Gabe and Mariana are asleep in the back seat, giving us the players some time with Kate and Javi to get to know them as Kate lights up a phatty and your first big choice is to toke with her or not. Okay, TWD, I get it. Weed’s legal now. This wakes up the kids just in time as you find a junkyard and you decide to explore it. Before doing so, you get a little bonding time with Mariana, kinda like how Lee did with Clem back in the first season. It was a nice touch to call back to that subtly, even if it doesn’t seem as strong. It’ll make sense when you play it.

Things go sour quickly after the group finds a cache of food and Javi is jumped by a group that seems to share a similar mark on their body, like they were branded like cattle. Javi lies about the having others with him and is en route to their base when a tree falls in the middle of the road, blocking the way and crashing the truck. Upon exiting, you have the option to shoot the driver or let him go, but that all depends on how cold blooded you are. Turns out that tree falling was no coincidence as the little saboteur reveals themself as… get ready for it… CLEMENTINE! She’s back and she’s a little older and has a potty mouth and an attitude. Oh Clem, what made you this way? Well, this is something you should know if you are playing with saved games from Seasons One and Two. The game shapes her and her past after what choices you made during your gameplay, which is very, very cool. If you don’t have any previous game saves, the games creates her past at random, so on my PS4 playthrough, I saw what happened to Clem and Jane after the events of the second season and although it was predictable, it was very sad because I liked Jane’s character. On my playthrough on PC that you can watch, I had no saves, so one was created for me and it was just uneventful and only led to Clem missing a finger for no reason. Huh, okay then.

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Clem and Javi pitstop at a safe town where the people seem friendly and you’re even introduced to a few new characters and get a little insight into Javi’s past. Personally, I liked Tripp who’s basically a loveable oaf. It doesn’t take long before Clem causes some problems and lands you in one of their homemade holding cells, but the most interesting thing is that nobody really seems to care about what happened. You’re given the option of sticking up for Clem or throwing her under the bus and if you do that, then I must believe you have no soul. You’re also given the option of sneaking out at night with one of the characters you met or waiting in the morning for Tripp to take you to the junkyard. Now, believe it or not, your choices will seemingly have a vastly different outcome. First time, I chose to sneak out only to arrive at the junkyard with two of my family members dead, so I went back and played again, waited for Tripp and got a much happier outcome… for the moment.

This is where the game really starts to take off. Seeing as how the truck is destroyed, Javi manages to convince Clem to head back to the junkyard to find his family and depending on how you converse with her, you can build a nice budding friendship, which is what I’m doing. I’ve missed Clem and I can’t be mean to her, seeing as we’ve already been through so much and I know what she’s lost. Once you reach the junkyard, it looks as if it’s been turned over and lit on fire, but you quickly find your family and everything seems like it’s going to be alright… yeah, sure. If there is one thing The Walking Dead tries to do way too much, it’s lull you into a false sense of security. I do have to admit, it kinda worked here. As Javi’s relationship was building with one of the characters, it became more clear what was going to happen, seeing as The Walking Dead just can’t help itself from steering away from this one trope, but it kinda got to me, especially as graphic as it happens. Your final choice is to stay and fight your attackers with Clem or bail with your family.

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After a long, overdue wait, Clementine is finally back and it’s great to see her again (especially after the remarkably disappointing Michonne). As gamers, we’ve grown up with Clem and to see her as the teenager she’s grown into is both depressing and you’re proud of her at the same time for making it as far as she has and depending on your choices, you get hints that she’s still the same girl you’ve grown to love. I’m excited to see what else she’s been up to since she’s been gone and at the time I’m scared at what might happen to her. At first, I thought Javi was just gonna be a cliched character with nothing interesting going on and was only going to be a vehicle for Clementine, but he’s actually shaping up into a likeably guy. Even if you decide to be a dick to everyone with him, you’re making the choices, so you still root for him. Javi and Clem make a great pair and luckily it’s not a retread of the father-daughter dynamic Clem and Lee had, but it’s something new altogether. Survivors becoming friends and that’s what The Walking Dead is all about! Part Two of Ties That Bind is looking to be another great episode, so we’ll dive into that one soon.

Comic Book Review: The Walking Dead Vol. 1 – Days Gone Bye

Happy New Comic Book Day/Super Bowl Week, Not-Just-Ho-rror Ho-mies!! 🙂 Here’s a look-see at some of the titles on my personal pull list this week:

comics23It’s almost Valentine’s Day, which means it’s also almost New Walking Dead Day (which is waaaaaaaaaay more important, obviously :)). To help get you in the proper Horrorday spirit, here’s Prince Adam with a look at the comic (aka way lesser/Non-Darryl-y ;)) form of The Walking Dead. Thanks for the review, you Superhero/SciFi Stud! (Even if you are a poser… ;)) xoxo

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“Rick Grimes is not prepared for this. A couple months ago he was a small town cop who had never fired a shot and only ever saw one dead body. Separated from his family he must now sort through the death and confusion to try and find his wife and son.” (Image)

This review literally comes on the heels of my first exposure to The Walking Dead, Before this, I had never read the comic book, or watched the television show. (“Wait…WHAAAT??? You are so fired, mister!!! “ -D.P.) I know, some of you are peering into your computer screens with a bewildered look on your face. Fear not, our Madame Boss Lady has opened up my horror horizons, so it won’t be long before I start watching the show. (“Won’t be long”??? This breaks my heart! Luckily you threw in some quality ass-kissing, so your job is safe…for now. ;)) Before the show, the comic book was getting a lot of praise. Then the show came, and people couldn’t stop talking about the show. I thought to myself, “What’s all the fuss about? Well, having read the first graphic novel, I can see what all the fuss is about. What you notice right away when reading this book, is that it’s just as much a character drama, as it is a post apocalyptic zombie story. There are plenty of characters introduced in the first 6 issues, but the focus is on Rick, his partner Shane, and Rick’s wife and son, Lori and Carl. There’s a scene in the story when Rick is riding on horseback to Atlanta. During his travels, Rick is talking to the horse, about special memories he has of his wife and kids, while trying to hold back tears. This was one of the saddest scenes I’ve experienced reading a comic book. That sadness quickly turns to joy, when Rick discovers that his best friend, wife and child, are among the survivors of the zombie uprising in Atlanta. This happiness is short lived however. Lori and Rick argue over teaching Carl how to use a gun, while Shane and Rick have an Alpha male showdown over what’s best for their camp of survivors. Then the reader learns that Shane, Rick’s partner, was bangin’ Rick’s wife while Rick was in a coma. The two have a show down, which leads to a traumatizing moment for young Carl, which I won’t spoil for any potential Walking Dead newbie’s like me. These first 6 issues sent me on an emotional rollercoaster, that is reserved for a rarified few comic books and graphic novels. But these “all over the map notions” for the characters is quite realistic and understandable, when they are staring the zombie apocalypse in the face.

wdc2Speaking of the zombies, we didn’t get as much of them as I’d expected we would have. Don’t misread that; there was plenty of zombie awesomeness, but my initial thought was that this book would be all zombie all the time, which as I’ve said, it isn’t. I find it interesting that the word zombie was only used 3 times. It almost felt as if the characters didn’t know what exactly they were dealing with at times, and didn’t know what to call them. Neither did we as readers, since it’s never fully revealed when or how this zombie apocalypse all started. Writer Robert Kirkman cleverly peppers the zombies into the story when you least expect it, after lulling us readers into a false sense of security. This technique offered quite a few unexpected frights. A great example of this was when the zombie attacks the group while they’re all sitting around a camp fire telling stories about themselves. Sure, it’s an oft used horror trope, but when it works, it works. This comic book, much like Game of Thrones, isn’t afraid to kill off characters. Three main characters die in this first story arc. Again, I won’t spoil who for potential Walking Dead virgins like myself, but pay attention to those characters that either get quite a bit of story time, or are mentioned often. See if you can telegraph who’s going to take a dirt nap.

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The art is very unique. Tony Moore handles the art in this first volume, and his style seems like a more consistent version of John Romita Jr.’s work. I said this artwork is unique, and that’s because the whole graphic novel is in black and white. Reading a comic where the art isn’t coloured is very rare for me, but I think it really adds to the story here. Not only does the uncoloured work highlight the detail and quality of the pencils and inks, both handled by Tony Moore, but it made the zombies creepier and more frightening to look at. I think horror comic books have a harder time at the scare factor, due to lack of music or sound that film and television have access too. Yet the black and white art, along with the random times that the zombies attack offer some legitimate scare/jump out of your seat moments. My favourite moments included; Rick in the hospital, with the elevator doors opening to reveal dead people/zombies at every turn. The afore mentioned zombie attack by the campfire, and Glenn and Rick surrounded by a pack full of zombies and a tank in the middle of the street. I don’t know how long the un-coloured art is going to stick around, but I hope at least a bit longer. I really like it, and might even go black and white with my own comic book.

wdc4I don’t know what took me so long to read The Walking Dead, but now that I have, good luck stopping me. Even if you’re not a hardcore zombie fanatic, the characters and drama in this book will get you hooked. Once you start reading this graphic novel, it’ll be over before you know it. Despite being a quick read, there’s a lot to take in. If you’re anything like me you’ll be wondering what happens next, and what you’d do if the zombie apocalypse actually happened.

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Breaking News: TWD Finale had Super High Ratings!!

In a truly shocking turn of events, LOTS of folks tuned in for the season finale of The Walking Dead last night. 😉

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I don’t want to get too spoil-y this soon after its initial airing (I’m sure at least one or two folks are still catching up and scared to navigate their way around Online World right now ;)), so I’ll just say that

this was me, basically:

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and that I now love this man:

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which is a HUGE change from how I’ve felt about him up until last night…

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(Sorry, Gabriel! Let he who is without sin n’stuff… ;))

Alas, we now have to wait 100 years (or so ;)) for new eps, but at least we have this to hold us over:

What’d you think, Kinky Ho-bots? I’d love to hear your spoiler-free since ’93 thoughts on last night’s Magnum-sized ep. 🙂

On a side note, there’s this unsettling gossip re. my side boyfriend, Mr. Daryl DiXXXon. (Jason will always be my number one, of course ;)). It’s been said before, but it’s worth saying again…

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Personally, I think the most logical eXXXplanation is that Mr. Reedus/Dicks-On just wants to relocate to be closer to KH Head-quarters. 😉

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(Sorry, DD, but we can’t keep our love silent forever…I REGRET NOTHING!!! ;)) xoxoxo

An Exxx-periment in Torture… ;)

So, posting those Siskel and Ebert #TBT vids inspired me to go ahead and post something I’ve been sitting on for a week or so now. I’ve started shooting actual vids for this site (dancing/bewb flash vids don’t count!! ;)), and here, for your enjoyment (or not ;)), is the first of ’em. It’s a lil’ something I like to kall, “Karnal Kombat”, because alliteration is super seXXXy to me. (We all have our lil’ Kinks, after all… ;)).

I’ve already filmed a couple more of these (and some normal interviews with Ho-rror/Porn-y folks, too! :)), but I’m still working on adding clips and such to make ’em all snazzy-like. It’s kind of a process (or maybe I’m just not a tech-whiz…who’s to say, really? ;)), so in the meantime here’s my “bare bones” (hehe ;)) intro ep for ya. Enjoy (or don’t, and be tortured by it instead…Either way it’s a win-win!! ;)) xoxox

#WCW: The Maggie Greene Edition. :)

Since I made this loving tribute to my beloved Daryl Dixon (“Norman Reedus”…whatever ;)) on his 46th birthday yesterday:

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I figured it was only fair to celebrate his also uber-hawt co-star, Lauren Cohan, on her birthday today. Happy Birthday, Maggie (I know it’s been a very tough year for you ;)), and Happy #WCW to you, my boo-tiful Kinky Ho-mies!! 🙂 xoxox

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(I had no idea she did a totally real Burt’s Bee’s ad like that, BTW…You learn something new everyday!! ;))

PS- Thank you very, very much to everyone who has taken the time to follow me/Kinky Horror on Twitter. I am sincerely having a blast with it, especially because they let you post all the nudity and gore you like…#HALLELUJAH!!!!! And, the pictures MOVE!! #CRAZINESS!! What a glorious time we live in, Ho-mies…So many bloody, bouncing bewbs to post, so little time!! 😉 xoxo

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It’s Krampus Time, Kiddies!!!!!!!!!

As hard as it might be to believe, I’m already in full-on Ho-rrorday mode. 🙂

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I realized today that basically from Oct. 1-Jan. 2 there are about two weeks total where I’m “normal” (for me, at least ;)). The rest of the time I’m either Halloween-ing, Thanksgiving-ing, or Christmas-ing it up (or some various combination of those three ;)).

So, I’m gonna get the (relatively ;)) (para)normal stuff out of the way right now, so I can start fully embracing this also-awesome time of year!! Don’t think that means I’m any less of a Ho-rror Ho-Ho-Ho, though, fiends…It just means 99% of my Ho-rror viewing right now has an eXXXtra festive twist!! ;).

The first order of non-Ho-rrorday biz is submitting  my belated #MMM & #MMM for this week. Truth be told, I was sincerely quite bummed out by the Walking Dead mid-season finale, and since we FINALLY had a few rainy days here in Hell-A (yay!!! :)), I used a lot of my time over the past few days re-visiting the Telltale Walking Dead video games. I don’t want to post spoilers (even though the first game is waaaay old now and you should’ve played it 12x’s by now ;)), so I’ll just post some pics of the Man Meat from the TWD universe that gets me all hot and juicy. (That whole sentence takes on a different meaning when you think of it in Walking Dead terms, btw… ;))

Of course there’s Darryl Motherfuckin’ Dixon, but the world shares my appreciation for his Manly Meatiness, so I think I’ll skip over the AMC Adonises this time and dive right into the Telltale Tasties. After all, those #MMMs are the ones that are really gettin’ me revved up right now. (There’s nothing weird about that, is there…? Whatever. If loving video game characters is wrong, I don’t wanna be right!! ;))

First up: Lusty Lee, from Season 1.

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He pretty much owns my world in the original game, but since he’s such a major character, I really can’t say much about him without divulging spoilers. (Seriously, though…Go play it already if you’re that worried about finding out what happens!! ;)) So, I’ll just simply say that LEE. IS. AWESOME!!!!!!!!! <3333333333

Check out just one minor, minor eXXXample of his eXXXtreme badassery:

This scene is so beautiful to me, and just one of the gajillion magic Lee moments in the game. Turns out the guy that voices him is pretty #MMM-worthy, too. 🙂

In the second game, Lee’s not around too much. *sadness* There are a few #MMMs who collectively come close to matching Lee’s Man Meat, but none of them are really swingin’ what he’s swingin’ in Season One. Some of their storylines made me very, very eXXXcited (if ya know what I mean… ;)), and others made me sad/angry/stressed/worried, but any character that has the power to stir all those emotions is definitely #MMM-worthy in my book. So, I give you this loving look at the TellTale Talent from the newst TWD game. 🙂

Luke…The love of my Season 2 life. <3

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(*le sigh* :))

Other Season 2 SeXXXpots include:

Nick:

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Mike:

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Matthew:

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and, reluctantly, Arvo:

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(Clearly there’s no denying Arvo’s #MMM-factor, especially with that seXXXy accent, but he’s a douchebag in disguise. Trust me on that one… ;))

There are actually many more #MMM-worthy dudes (#WCW-worthy ladies :)) in Season 2, but I’m still butt hurt (in a bad way ;)) from my last ending, so I don’t feel like acknowledging anyone else right now. If you’re wondering whether or not these games are worth your time, though, the answer is a definitive YESSSSSSSSSSSS x’s 1000!!!!!!! 🙂

In other news, there’s been a lot of unfortunate news concerning Scott Stapp of Creed over the past week or so. This is the dude that once upon a time gave us kickass soundtracks to Halloween H20 and Scream 3, though, so let’s give the man a break and hope he gets his shizzle together again soon. In the meantime, we’ll always have these to remind us of the good slightly less Ho-rrible times. 😉

(I will defend that song AND that movie ’til the zombified cow carcusses come home…Both of ’em are amongst my all-time faves! :))

(Scream 3, on the other hand, was a HUGE disappointment…HUGE!!!!!!! But I danced onstage to, like, half the songs on this album when it first came out, so at least the soundtack -Executive Produced by Creed, btw- stayed on par with the kickass legacy of the first two installments.)

And let’s not forget Mr. Stapp was also kind enough to bless the world with his no-sex “Sex Tape”, and that alone makes him awesome by Kinky standards. 😉

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(Shout out to meh Redlight peeps…WOOT! ;))

Since I’m already shouting, I wanna send out a few more “WOOT!!!!”s to the good folks over at Waxwork Records, HorrorBlock, and Fright Rags for their forever awesomeness. I returned from my Thankskilling vacay this week to find these beauties waiting for me, which is always a lovely Ho-rrible way to be welcomed home. 😉



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I recommend checking out/showing your undying love to these sites for their eternal awesomeness, if you haven’t already. They’ve all got some especially rad stuff going on right now for the Ho-rrordays; check out this epic Silent Night, Deadly Night bundle from FR, for eXXXample…You best believe I’m gonna be up bright and early Tuesday AM to make sure this torrid treasure ends up at my place!!

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That Linnea Quigly ornament is seriously to die for!!! 🙂 <3

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And, finally, since it is Wednesday, I might as well through out some #WCW badness for ya. 🙂 The object of my desire this week is Mrs. Peltzer from Gremlins.

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I feel like she’s vastly underappreciated in Gremlins-dom. Think about it: In her brief time on screen she made some lovely noms (including Gingerdead men…YUM!!! :)), kicked major Gremlin ass, and gave us all a tasteful booty shot…The lady is an unsung goddess in my eyes!! 🙂 <3

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(Look at Mr. Gremlin sneakin’ a peek of #datass…Homie knows what’s up!! ;))

Check out my #WCW’s Ripley-esque kitchen skillz: (This was always one of the freakiest parts of the movie to me!! :))

(Way to give ’em what-for and cement your place in #WCW history, Mrs. P!! <3333333333)

Since I’m already talkin’ Gremlins, I don’t think there’s a more appropriate Mad Monster to mention this week than these creepy lil’ #MMMs. Let the angelic singing of Spike and the gang fill your (black) hearts with Christmas cheer, because from this point on it’s all about Krampus season for me, Kinky Ho-rrorday Ho-s!!! 😉 xoxoxo