#TBT: The “King of the Monsters vs. King of Beverages” Edition

Ho-wdy, Kaiju Krazies!

As you Kinky Kreeps probably know, there is nothing in this world that we love more than a cl-Ass-Sick monster hawking their wares to us humans. Whether it’s The Phantom of the Opera promoting condoms (to be covered later) or Dracula pimping tomato sauce (ditto), we just can’t get enough of SpokesMonsters! While there have been many great monsters of advertising, we think Godzilla may be the King of the SpokesMonsters!
Yessir, Big G has been A LOT of commercials, but we’re particularly fond of the campaign he did for Dr. Pepper in the ’80s! For some monstrous background, here’s a 1985 write-up from The Los Angeles Times:

Dr Pepper Bubbles Up To Godzilla

Here’s an introduction that could only be made in Hollywood, even though the subjects are from Tokyo and Dallas:

Godzilla, meet Dr Pepper.

Starting next week, the monster and the soft drink (now there’s a title) will be paired in the launching of a $10-million advertising campaign leading up to the Aug. 23 release of “Godzilla 1985,” a Japanese-made, American-modified horror film in which Dr Pepper will make a cameo appearance.

“This is the perfect marriage of product placement and promotion,” says Rusty Citron, director of national promotion and merchandising for New World Pictures. “We think everyone’s going to have a lot of fun with it.”

“Godzilla 1985” marks the comeback of Godzilla, the prehistoric monster who rose from the fallout of nuclear blasts to crush cities in a series of clumsy Japanese movies made in the ’50s and ’60s. It also brings back bulky Steven Martin (Raymond Burr), the American reporter whose scenes were shot in Hollywood and inserted in the 1956 “Godzilla, King of the Monsters.”

New World, which picked up “Godzilla 1985” from Toho Film, repeated the post-production gimmick, getting Burr to reprise his role in a two-day shooting at Hollywood’s Raleigh Studios, on the same set where (is nothing sacred?) “Citizen Kane” was filmed.

Those scenes, set in the Pentagon, will also include a Dr Pepper vending machine and cans of the product being consumed by the cast.

“It is done in the same good taste that Diet Pepsi did in ‘Back to the Future,’ ” Citron says, with an almost straight face.

Actually, Dr Pepper had already negotiated the use of Godzilla for a fall campaign when New World decided to pick the film up for U.S. theatrical distribution and video sales. TV commercials have already appeared linking Godzilla with Dr Pepper.

When Citron learned of the soft drink tie-in from Toho, he rushed to Dallas and offered to put the product in the movie for a piggyback ride on its ad campaign.

Citron says Dr Pepper approved the deal in three hours and starting next week copy promoting the movie will be included in all Dr Pepper/Godzilla spots on TV and radio.

Godzilla, the unfriendly Pepper, is going to be hard to ignore. Besides Dr Pepper’s $10-million campaign, New World will be spending $3 million to $4 million of its own money.

There’s even an MTV video on its way, featuring the love theme from “Godzilla 1985”: “I Was Afraid to Love You.”

Who would have believed fallout would be this much fun?

We don’t care for author’s haughty attitude towards Godzilla, but the information solid. As stated in the article, a Dr. Pepper machine appeared in the background of Godzilla 1985…

…Big G appeared in a few Dr. Pepper commercials…

…and both appeared in a music video for I Was Afraid to Love You.

Now, that’s some delicious product placement!

I don’t know about you Kreepsters, but I could really go for a Dr. Pepper right about now… 😉


Bride of #TBT: The “Dracula: Cereal Killer” Edition

Ho-wdy, Creatures of the Night!
Since we just escaped the clutches of a werewolf, let’s take look at its ancient enemy: the vampire!
And not just any rinky-dink vampire! We’re talkin’ ’bout the king of all vampires, the Prince of Darkness, one bad bloodsucka… Count Dracula!
Dracula’s met a LLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOTTT o’ monsters over the years… Frankenstein, The Wolf-Man, and other great ghouls… but there is one that stands above the rest: Count Chocula!
Yessiree, Count Chocula met the real Drac back in 1987! Unfortunately, due to controversy (the medallion Drac wears appears to be a Star of David), the pairing didn’t last long and the box was pulled off shelves. However, what we got was pretty groovy. In addition to that sweet box above, we also got this awesome commercial below:

If the next Dark Universe films are anything like that, I’m in!

It’s true what they say: Ladies Love Draculas. 😉 Fangs a lot, Counts! 🙂 xoxo

#TBT: The “An American Werewolf on the BBC” Edition

Howl-dy, fright fiends!
We here at KH just ADORE werewolves in London… Warren Zevon’s Werewolves in London, the 1935 Werewolf of London, and just about any lycanthrope in England. We have no idea why our furry fiends frequent the Old Smoke, but we do know that hair-handed gents in the UK always make for a jolly good time! There’s no better example of this than John Landis’ An American Werewolf in London, one of the grooviest monster movies of the 1980s!
Ah, yes… An American Werewolf in London… there’s just no way to overpraise that fabulously fantastic fright film. Landis’ picture effortlessly dances between the ho-rrific and hilarious like few films before and since. There’s a clear love for previous werewolf films on display, yet it constantly reinvents the genre in clever ways. It’s weird, it’s scary, it’s funny… it’s a true cl-ass-sick!
I’m sure you’re all familiar with that marvelous monsterpiece, but did you know it was adapted for the radio?
Yes, Kinky Kreeps! The American Werewolf ho-wled on in a 1997 BBC radio adaptation!  It was written and directed by Dirk Maggs (the man who would produce new episodes of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy radio show from 2003 to 2005) and featured actors from the film, including the great Jenny Agutter reprising her role as Nurse Alex Price.

The adaptation is mostly faithful, but it does add some backstory to certain characters… and tells us who was the original werewolf. There’s also a bit about a man escaping from an asylum where he is held under the name “Larry Talbot”…
For a trip back to London, listen to the play below:

#TBT, Part DeuXXX: Happy Birthday, Ray Harryhausen!

Happy Birthday to Cinema’s Great Magician, Ray Harryhausen!

 

As you cool ghouls and groovy ghoulies probably know, Ray Harryhausen was the mightiest stop motion animator in the cosmos. He was both Prometheus and Athena, sculpting creatures from clay and breathing life into them. Mr. Harryhausen brought many great monsters into existence with just his skilled hands and superhuman patience. What he did was magic, pure and simple.

In ho-nor of Mr. Harryhausen, we’ve dug up this groovy interview… conducted by Mr. Tim Burton! In it, you’ll hear Ray talk about the birth of several of his creations, watch Tim Burton try not give in to his inner-fanboy, and see the two mess around with a flying saucer from Earth vs. The Flying Saucers! It’s an incredible watch for lovers of fantastic cinema and Master Harryhausen. Enjoy, Kinky Ho-mies! 🙂 xoxo

Happy Birthday, Ray! Thanks for all the cinematic magic. 🙂 xoxo

#TBT: The “Gremlinbusters” Edition

On this day in 1984, two of the most important films of all time were unleashed upon the unsuspecting masses…

Yes indeed, 1984 really hit the “G” spot with Gremlins and Ghostbusters! These two ho-rror comedies are among the most beloved fright funnies in all of ho-rror, and the fact that they were released on the same day is nothing short of a miracle! How is this not a federal holiday??! Sure, social media is on fire with “Ghostbusters Day” posts, but it’s not the same and it eXXXcludes the undeniable awesome that is Gremlins.

In ho-nor of these two masterpieces of ho-rror, we’re giving you a double dose of monster movie magic! At the bottom of this post, we’ve provided two behind-the-scream videos, one for each film. Both of ’em are loaded with ’80s goodness and eXXXcellent nostalgia. The Ghostbusters one gets eXXXtra points for its overwhelming seXXXiness… yes, dear kreeps, it features a generous dose of young Rick Moranis! Mercy! I do believe I’m getting the vapors! 😉

#SeXXXgod

Happy Birthday, Ghostbusters and Gremlins…We love you forever!! xoxo 🙂

#TBT: The “Monster Mufflers” Edition

Ho-wdy, Ho-rror Ho-mies! As you creeps probably know, the Universal Monsters are getting a brand-new shared universe, and they’re hoping to give Marvel a run for their “mummy!”
We here at KH love a good Monster Mash, especially one from the original House of Horrors.  Starting with 1943’s Frankenstein meets the Wolfman, Universal has had a rich history of having grand ol’ ghouls go face-to-fang. However, there are two iconic monsters that have yet to appear in the same film…

Yes, it’s true… The Mummy and The Invisible Man, Universal’s baddest bandaged baddies, have never co-starred in a film together! Now, I know there’s a fair chance that the “wrap” stars will appear together in an installment of the new franchise, but it’s been over 80 years! You would think that Universal would throw us an invisible and/or mummified bone, but they never did.

However, the gauze ghouls did get a chance to share the spotlight in a commercial for Meineke Mufflers in 1988. Not only are The Mummy and The Invisible Man here, but they are positively horrible.. in a good way! 🙂 That Mummy could stomp around in a real monster movie, as far as I’m concerned! I don’t recall the Invisible One being much of a driver, but I suppose The Mummy would need a new a muffler for the ol’ chariot… 🙂

It’s not Universal, but it does the trick!

Check out the creepy commercial below:

Health Care: The Medical Attention Edition, Part 2

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric, the kinkiest ho-mie a gal could ask for. 😉 Thanks, my freaky friend! 🙂 xoxo)

The Give A Fuck Foundation (2012)

While masturbating on her off time, the hospital administrator wonders in to visit Dr. Lezley Zen M.D. After that she goes to see a patient (Michael Vegas).

Anything Else (2003)

Jerry Falk (Jason Biggs) learns a lesson the hard way when he falls head over heels in love with a beautiful but flighty girl, Amanda (Christina Ricci).

Black Dynamite (2009)

Black Dynamite (Michael Jai White) is the greatest African-American action star of the 1970s. When his only brother is killed by The Man it’s up to him to find justice.

Joy Mulligan/Stacy Adams as Nurse.


Ho-stess’s PS#TBT to my own Doctor Adventure. 🙂

#ThreesomeThursday: The Stepmom Teaches Edition

(Submitted by none other than Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-miebot!! 🙂 xoxo)

Stop Fucking My Boyfriends Mom (2016)

Description:

India Summer loves to sneak her stepdaughter Adria Rae’s boyfriends into the sack. Damon Dice, Adria’s new boyfriend, is next in line to be her conquest. She asks her mom to not fuck her boyfriend, and India promises she’ll try.

Damon resists India’s advances in the kitchen, and goes off to find Adria. Strutting out of the kitchen, India drops clothes every step of the way, finds Damon frantically jacking it in the hallway (as he watches Adria), pushes him against the wall and starts sucking on his cock. When Adria comes out of her room and finds them, India offers to turn the awkward situation into a learning experience.

Use What You Got (2015)

Description:

Jessy Jones is enjoying some time to himself when his stepmom India Summer walks in on him masturbating. When India tries to talk about it, Jessy confesses his concerns about whether size matters and his ability to please his girlfriend Alli Rae. After a bit of discussion, India suggests that maybe Jessy needs to build up his stamina and then offers to give him some insight on his penis size.

While India is giving him advice on how to use it, Alli arrives. Watching India suck off her boyfriend’s cock gets her turned on, and the two decide to work together to help Jessy increase his confidence and get over his problem of cumming too fast.

Ho-stess’s PS- Me as a a Stepmom/Educator. 😉 #TBT

In the Mirror: The Reflections Edition, Part 5

(Submitted by our beloved Smutmaster, Eric…Thanks, my Kinkiest of Ho-mies! xoxo)

Featuring: Lynda Carter, Helen Slater, Maika Monroe & Olivia Hussey

Wonder Woman: Season 3, Episode 5 – Disco Devil (1978)

Mirror1

A telepathic disco dancer is using his powers to steal information from government scientists visiting a Washington D.C. hot spot. Diana must enlist the aid of a second telepath to foil the scheme.

Mirror2

A House in the Hills (1993)

Mirror3

An aspiring actress gets a housesitting job and finds herself in a cat-and-mouse game with a deadly ex-con.

Mirror4 Mirror5 Mirror6 Mirror7 Mirror8 Mirror9 Mirror10

It Follows (2015)

Mirror11

A young woman is followed by an unknown supernatural force after a sexual encounter.

Mirror12 Mirror13 Mirror14 Mirror15

Psycho IV: The Beginning (1990)

Mirror16

Norman Bates recalls his days as a young boy living with his schizophrenic mother while fearing his unborn child will inherit his split personality disorder.

Mirror17 Mirror18 Mirror19 Mirror20

Ho-stess’s PS-
Eric requested I post a new mirror pic with this set, but I’m currently visiting my sister (and very lil’ nephews:) in NC, and private mirror time isn’t really a thing right now. So, you’re gonna have to settle for these #TBT pics (circa 2007) instead…I owe ya one (thousand ;)), Eric!! 🙂 xoxo

#TBT: The “Billion Dollar Voorhees” Edition

Happy Friday the 13th Eve, Ho-rror Ho-mies!!! 🙂

I don’t know about you creeps, but I’m in a shock ‘n’ roll kinda mood and there’s only one ghoul I can think of that is monster enough to ho-nor Mah Boo with some revolting rockin’ rhythms… Mr. Alice Freaking Cooper!!! 🙂

AliceCooper

Ol’ Black Eyes is back… but he’s not the only one…

HesBack2

Talk about a Monster Mash of the highest order! 😉 In collaboration to rival David Bowie and Queen’s Under Pressure, Alice Cooper and Mah Boo joined forces in 1986, resulting in three songs created for Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives. These songs were Teenage Frankenstein (another clas-sick!), Hard Rock Summer, and the definitive anthem for Jason’s day, He’s Back (The Man Behind the Mask)!

HesBack1

In a time when his career was just about dead (hard to believe, I know!!), The Coop took a page from Jason’s book and rose from the grave! He’s Back applies almost as much to Mr. Cooper as it does Jason. The success of this song (and the entire Constrictor album that spawned it) served as sign that Cooper was about to return in a big way and he did just that with Poison in 1989. You just can’t keep a bad ghoul down! 🙂

HesBack3

As for Mah Boo, this really was his return to the Silver Scream! Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning seemingly did what no final girl could ever do: kill off Jason for good! In his place, a two-bit copycat did the slashing! Friday Fanatics demanded the return of the slashiest movie slasher EVER and the studio obliged. He’s Back is a triumphant declaration to the fans, informing us that Jason’s back and he’s here to slay!! 😉

AliceCooperHesback4

To promote this beauty of a song, a video was made featuring Jason and Alice doing their  Freaky Fang! Take one part Rocky Horror Picture Show and one part Demons (1985), and you get the greatest (non-Thriller) horror music video of all time! (Unless Helena counts as ho-rror… ;)) Take it away, you gruesome twosome!

Proving that Camp Crystal Lake is still in his heart, Alice still occasionally rocks the mausoleum with this clas-sick! Here he is, performing He’s Back in 1991..

…and in 2013, proving that he and Jason are still the best musical monster buddies ever!! Mah Boo even does away with a pesky paparazzo here!

Keep that Friday Feeling alive, Ho-mies, and prepare to get yo Jason on tomorrow!! 🙂 xoxoxo

Hesback4

PS- Who wore it better?

alice
alicemesmallNevermind…I know the answer. 😉 #NOTWORTHY!!! xoxoxo

not worthy