Hidden Faces: The Masked Edition, Part 3

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Your Royal Hineyness! 😉 PS-Thanks for reminding me to get back on the #MonsterMaskMonday tip…Gotta step up the Kinky/Kreepy factor now that #OCTOBER!!! is basically upon us! 🙂 xoxo)

The Strangers (2008)


Featuring:

Kip Weeks as Man in the Mask, Gemma Ward as Dollface, Laura Margolis as Pin-Up Girl, Liv Tyler as Kristen McKay & Glen Howerton) as Mike.


Captain America XXX: An Axel Braun Parody (2014)

Featuring:

Claire Robbins as Sin, Derrick Pierce as Crossbones, Giovanni Francesco as Batroc, Phoenix Marie as Sharon Carter & Jessica Ryan as Hellcat.


Guest Starring:

Diana Prince as Spider-Babe (2017)

#SeXXXOnSunday: The Civil War & Incivility Edition

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie, and Happy Sunday Funday to all my Kinky Kreeps! 🙂 xoxo)

Captain America: A XXX Parody (2016)

Featuring: Peta Jensen & Charles Dera

Black Widow enters a building, then Tony Stark appears. He asks her to call Captain America, because he won’t answer his calls. When they’re all together, Stark says a General has ordered them to stay in this place they think looks like a prison. An argument, short fight, and sex follow.

A Sluttier Future for All (2013)

In a near-dystopian future, the nymphos are sluttier than you could ever imagine. Ashton Pierce and Bonnie Rotten are the rival gangleaders of their college gone crazy. They get their hands on the foreign exchange student (Marco Banderas), and find out the hard way he’s got enough inches to keep them both happy.

#SexxxOnSunday: The Spidey & Black Cat Edition

(Submitted by Mr. Smutmaster Eric, of corpse. 🙂 Thanks, Kinky Ho-miebot, and Happy #SeXXXySunday to all! 🙂 xoxo)

Brazzers Presents: The Parodies Vol. 6 (2016)

The Cat’s Meow: XXX Parody (2016)

Featuring: Jordi El Niño Polla & Mila Milan

“My Spidey-Sense is tingling!”

The Heist…

Better Late Than Never…

Trivia: Jordi is from Spain, looks like a teenager, but is 22. He’s frequently paired up with female performers that are between 10 and 20 years older. All of Spidey’s dialogue we hear is spoken by someone else.

Mila is 29, from Austria.

Part of her bio on Brazzers: Thanks to a degree in industrial design and a natural curiosity for artistic expression, she also owns and operates her own production company, a design agency, and a photography studio. She’s an accomplished conceptual painter, speaks five different languages, and dabbles as a tattoo artist.

If you’re feelin’ saucy, here’s the whole vignette…It may be just slightly NSFW, though. 😉 

o

#SeXXXOnSunday: The Mutants Edition

(Presented by our very own Smutmaster Eric, of corpse…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie! 🙂 xoxo)

XXX-Men: The Hellfire Club (2013)

Look around. There’s a secret society of XXX-Rated people living among us. They appear normal, but behind closed doors, their extreme sexual powers make them hornier than you can possibly imagine. Let Emma Frost (Alexis Ford) take you on a tour of the Hellfire Club, and introduce you to a sexual world you never knew existed

XXX-Men: Psylocke Vs Magneto (2016)

Magneto (Danny D) is invading the X-Mansion and with all the other X-Men gone it’s up to the sexy Psylocke (Patty Michova) to ward off the super-villain by any means necessary, even if it means sucking his evil mutant dong

Hidden Faces: The Masked Edition, Part 2

(Submitted by the Smuttiest Smutmaster in the known universe, Mr. Smutmaster Eric…Thanks so much, Kinky Ho-mie! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Michelle Pfeiffer, Sunny Lane, Aurora Snow, Phoenix Marie & Rosario Dawson

Batman Returns (1992)

Batman: The Animated Series, S2/Ep7 (1994)

Batgirl XXX: An Extreme Comixxx Parody (2012)

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014)

Bonus #1:

Rosario in great leaked selfies!

Bonus #2:

Kinky Klown from Outer Space

(Ha! I know that Klown!! 😉 xoxo -DP)

#SuperheroSaturday Comic Book Review: JLA Vs Predator

(Submitted by Canada’s Superoheroic Sweetheart, Mr. Prince Adam…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie!! 🙂 xoxo)

“They’ve hunted the Dark Knight Detective. They’ve gone after the Man of Steel. Now they’re prepared to go after the most challenging prey imaginable: the entire Justice League of America. The World’s Greatest Super-Heroes go up against the galaxy’s deadliest hunters in JLA vs. Predator. When a group of Predators arrive on Earth, they make targets of each of the JLA members — relishing in the thrill of the hunt. They engage in the ultimate sport of attempting to kill the most powerful heroes ever known.” (DC Entertainment)
When I first read Batman & Superman Vs. Alien & Predator, there was a reference to this showdown with the JLA.  I knew then and there, that at some point, I had to track it down and read it.  I have, thus the review you’re reading right now. What I like about this book is that once again, it is very accessible to new readers to both the franchises.  If you don’t know the Justice League, well there’s something wrong with you, so seek help! Seriously though, if you haven’t read JLA, there’s a blurb on each member to catch you up to speed.  I love that the team is the one from Grant Morrison’s run on the book. So of course, you have Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman. What I love about this team, is it features The Flash and Green Lantern I grew up with. So that means Wally West is The Flash, Kyle Rayner is Green Lantern and Aquaman is the badass with a beard and his hook hand.  Basically, it’s the version I think will closely resemble Jason Momoa’s version in the film.  The book also keys in on more minor, underused characters like Marian Manhunter, Plastic Man and The Atom.You also get the need to know, about the Predator’s too. Alien race that hunts for sport, have stealth fields at their disposal , making them invisible when they want to be. As well as having a vast array of shoulder and wrist cutting weapons that make them lethal.  Oh and of course, they like to take the head and or spinal cord of their victims as a trophy.  The way the Predator’s are brought in is great.  They are actually chasing the Dominators, another group of alien villains in the DC Universe.  The Dominator’s seeking out refuge from the Justice League, highlights just how much of a threat the Predator’s are. Also, having Martian Manhunter running point on guarding the watchtower, while a little convenient, makes sense. Being an alien, with a vey alien appearance, he would show more compassion, to the Dominators plight, even despite the fact the Dominator’s tried to take over the world years before. In an attempt to protect the Dominator’s he teleported above the watchtower, Martian Manhunter is decapitated by a Predator laying in wait. While having that happen further strengthens the Predator’s as an ultimate villain, Martian Manhunter is also reinforced as an absolute badass too! I knew his only weakness was fire but as a result of his decapitation, I learned that his brain resides in his chest/stomach area, In all my years of reading, I never knew this.  Although it was weird, I found it extremely cool.
When the rest of the League discovers what happened to J’onn they instantly join the fray. J’onn tells them that  the dominator’s he rescued told him three other Dominator’s remain scattered on Earth, running from Predator’s. I loved this because it forces the Justice League to actually go worldwide.  The Team breaks apart into three teams.  Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and Plastic Man head to Venice.  Green Lantern, The Flash and The Atom are stationed in the Amazon, while Batman and Superman do a two man recon in London, while Martian Manhunter heals. While they do find the displaced Dominator’s, they are also attacked by Predators.  Here’s where the story takes an interesting turn. The different groups of the Justice League must face off against Meta-Predators. These are Predators who were captured by Dominators and then experimented on. They now have the ability to mimick and take on the Justice League members powers. This was a smart play by writer John Ostrander. Espescially since Batman and Superman have fought Predator’s on their own before and won.  He had to up the threat level and Predators with the superpower’s of our heroes does the trick. It forces our heroes to get creative, split up and still work together at the same time. While their are plenty of fisticuffs exchanged, our heroes gain the upper hand by deciding to fight a Predator of an opposite power set. When captured, the Meta-Predators decide to blow themselves up rather than surrender.  The book doesn’t end on a somber note though, The Justice League sets a course for the Dominators to return to their home. Before their depature there is a great exchange between Superman and the leader of the Dominator’s. The Dominator remarks that he doesn’t understand why the Justice League helped them after all the harm they’ve caused. Superman responds, saying that hopefully the Justice League’s actions will one day inspire the Dominators to do and be better. It is that hope that drives the Justice League to do what they do. This book may have been written in 2001, but this message of hope is more preavalant now then ever before.
Graham Nolan is the artist on this book. He was one of the artists on the Batman Knightfall saga.  There are similarities involved in the art but you can see a slight change in styles from his 90’s work, to his early 2000 work.    One of the things I really appreciated is that at a given time, their were three alien races on the page at one time. All three, the Predators, the Dominators, and the Martian Manhunter, looked unique and distinct.  Granted, this should be the obvious occurrence, especially since the characters already had pre-existing and differing designs.  However, as someone who is writing a comic book featuring two alien races and working with an artist to make those aliens a reality and look unique from each other, I know how difficult that is. So I  applaud this feat whenever I see it.  I love the art in the scene with Aquaman, Wonder Woman and Plastic Man are in Venice. As I’ve, mentioned, I’m of Italian heritage and having been to Italy several times, the look of Venice was incredibly accurate.  Also, the fact that Plastic Man was both Aquaman and Wonder Woman’s navigator, and actual boat for their gondola ride, was a beautiful, weird and funny image all at the same time.  There’s a shot of Aquaman fighting a Predator under water.  I’m a sucker for underwater battles, so I’m biased but look at that image and tell me it doesn’t look spectacular.  I thought it was fun seeing the Meta-Predators wearing darker coloured armor that reflected their Justice League counterpart.  It was subtle and never took me out of the story, but was a nice little touch.  My favourite imagery from the book is seeing Martian Manhunter’s head on a spike and then seeing his head regrow, forming through his stomach/chest. It was the most shocking, powerful and gruesome imagery of the whole book. Although, it would’ve looked even better as a full on splash page if you ask me.


This book was fun, simple and quick to read. I loved that it held the previous encounters with the Predators and Batman and Superman in continuity. Usually one shots ignore continuity and just tell a self contained story. as a result of that, I realized that I’m still missing out on the two previous encounters. Sure, I’m reading this out of order but the stories are so good, it doesn’t bother me one bit.  Plus, it just means I have hopefully, two more awesome stories I can read and review for you. While I do that, definitely pick this book up and give it a read if you haven’t already.

Comic Book Review- Batman: Europa

(Submitted by Prince Adam…Thank you and Happy new Year, Super Fiend! 🙂 xoxo)
“The Dark Knight is finally facing an enemy that even he can’t defeat—a deadly, custom-engineered virus that will drive him mad and then kill him within a week. But Batman isn’t the only one infected…the homicidal madman known as the Joker is also stricken.  Now, the two mortal enemies must rely on each other if either one is to survive. As they follow the clues, their search fo8r the man who targeted them has them crisscrossing Europe—following clues in Berlin, fighting automatons in Prague, haunting the Paris catacombs and more.  Can Batman and Joker survive working together? Or will the Dark Knight and his deadliest enemy die together, far from Gotham City? (DC Entertainment)

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This book is a passion project of Jim Lee and was in the planning stages for a couple of years but for whatever reason, kept getting pushed back and delayed. So finally getting to sit down and read it was a long time coming. While this may be Jim Lee’s passion project, he’s not a writer, so handling those duties are Brian Azzarello and Matteo Casali. I love how the two writers started this book. The Joker and Batman are beating each other to a bloody mess. The story then seamlessly transitions to an exterior shot of Gotham. As a reader, you may assume that this is the status quo for these two, however that is hardly the case. The writers put Batman in several situations I have never seen him in all my years of reading.. The Batcave computer was hacked, and also Batman had been infected with a virus. Sure Batman had been physically broken in Knightfall by Bane. While he was paralyzed, Bane had no intention of killing Batman. Bane’s intention was to leave Batman wheelchair bound and helpless as Gotham is destroyed. In Europa, Batman is given a virus with the intention of killing him, in a mere 8 days. Thanks to some detective work, Batman traces the origin of the hack and virus to Europe. Another first, at least for me reading, is seeing pretty much an entire Batman story take place outside of Gotham City. More on the locations the story takes us to and their significance later. However, this story takes things in even wilder directions, when Batman realizes that the Joker also has the virus, and each man has certain information about the virus, that the other doesn’t. This means that the two arch nemeses have to work together. Again this may have happened before in another comic book but it’s the first I’m reading or seeing it, so it’s a first for me.  I’m ok with this because it’s brand new to me for one and two, it means there are plenty of Batman stories  I’ve yet to read, so…Yay!  Batman and the Joker’s reaction to this situation is priceless. Well, technically it costs $14.99 but metaphorically, it’s priceless.  Batman detests and loathes the pairing but realizes it’s necessary. Joker is thrilled by this development and revels at the absurdity of it.  More specifically, he’s happy that Batman is in agony over this hero/villain team up.

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The bulk of the story sees Batman and The Joker crisscrossing Europe in search of the person responsible for infecting them with the virus.  They travel to Germany, The Czech Republic, France and Italy. What is neat about this, is the writers use Batman’s exposition to give a little history lesson on each of the stops on their journey. Teachers take note; Use Batman and the Joker to teach history, the kids will love it.  What’s also cool is that the description of each city ties into, or is a metaphor for Batman and The Joker.  The falling of the Berlin wall that separated Germany, is the metaphor for Batman and Joker putting their differences aside and working together.   Batman describes Prague as two cities, one  by day where productivity and success is bred and by night where criminality and darkness takes over. This parallels not only Gotham City but also highlights the duality between Bruce Wayne and Batman. The issue in France showcased the city’s emphasis on art, as well as their love of the circus. This directly correlates with the Joker’s physical appearance, and infers that his murderous reign of terror can be considered artistic, a sick and twisted brand of art mind you.  The story finishes up in Rome, a city referred to as the Eternal City. The city also has a history  of great battles and death. The gladiators and the death of Julius Caesar are prime examples. So it’s only fitting that Rome continues the eternal struggle between Batman and the Joker, where one of, or both men could meet their death. One thing this story did right by, were the characters of Batman and the Joker. The characters weren’t altered to make the unlikely team up more palpable.  Batman is still a crusader for justice and Joker is still a murdering psychopath.  In fact, he murders one of their informants, despite Batman instructing him to save her from peril and certain death at the hands of this stories ultimate villain.   Speaking of the ultimate villain, given the mysterious nature of the virus, and the villains reliance on giving Batman and Joker clues to his ultimate location, I pegged Riddler as the culprit.  Then, given the globe trotting nature of the story, and the mind f**k the villain was going for, I thought it could be Ra’s al Ghul. This book has similarities with Batman: The Long Halloween and Hush, in that it’s a bit of a mystery tale.  I was absolutely shocked when it was revealed to be Bane. His reasoning was to force Batman and the Joker to realize they needed each other to live, or die, while Batman and Joker were trying to prove to each other that they didn’t. Bane’s endgame is either to mentally break Batman, or watch him die, trying to resist Bane’s assertion. Either way he wins. To complicate things even worse, he reveals that Batman and the Joker have the cure for the other in their blood stream. The way the two decide to resolve this issue, I will leave for you to read. However, I will say it’s a rather clever resolution, and if you’re paying attention at the beginning of the book, you’ll get a hint.

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Art duties are handled by four individuals. Jim Lee starts things off with exceptional art that sucks you in almost immediately. Nobody draws a Gotham City skyline like he does. It makes you forget the darkness and crime. The early battle with Killer Croc reminded me of Hush. Does anyone else notice that Jim Lee’s art has more edges, is more pointy, and looks rougher when he’s depicting Batman on Joker violence?   Giuseppe Camuncoli drew issue 2. Like Jim Lee, he works in American comics, so his style has that aesthetics. Art wise this issue seems like a love letter to different era’s of Batman. Specifically a mix of Neal Adams, and Frank Miller. Batman fighting giant wooden robots, seemed like something you’d see in the 50’s or 60’s. The color pallet , reminded me of the book Batman: Thrillker, which I reviewed for this site. When the scene shifts to Paris in issue 3, art duties are performed by Diego Lattore. His art style is more abstract at times, so much so, that you cant really make out what’s happening in the first altercation between Batman and the Joker, when they first meet their antagonist.  The art was very reminiscent of the Arkham Asylum graphic novel written by Grant Morrison and drawn by Dave McKean. However, when the art did focus on more detail, Batman and the Joker looked plenty like their film counterparts in The Dark Knight. Joker even had the cut smile. The moments in the issue that stood out were Batman and Joker travelling underground in the tunnels. You got a sense that these two could erupt in violence at any moment. Also, the pages were so atmospheric. The final issue takes place in Rome and is drawn by Gerald Parel. The art and colors have a painted look to them.  The art in this book is a fusion of Leonardo da Vinci, Frank Miller and Alex Ross. I love that Batman is a mass of physical strength, yet Bane is even larger. When Bane throws Batman and Joker around like a rag doll, it’s so effortless and believable given his size. Seeing the Batman vs Joker fight redrawn from the perspective of a different artist was great. The fight looked the same, yet completely fresh all at once.  It speaks to the universality and global impact that the Batman/Joker altercation has on artists, no matter their country of origin or art style. I must commend all four artists for their attention to making the various monuments they drew look true to life. Be it the Berlin Wall, the statue of Liberty, the Eifel Tower or the Coliseum, they all looked absolutely breathtakingly beautiful.
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They say good things come to those who wait and in the case of this book, it is absolutely true. No, I’m not just saying that because the books finale takes place in Italy, and I’m of Italian descent.  Although, it’s a bonus. This book adds new story elements and new artistic flavors to the Batman/Joker rivalry. If you’re a Batman fan of my ilk that likes to see the continued expansion of the tapestry that is Batman Vs The Joker, this book is most definitely for you.

#SuperheroSaturday: Superman Returns To End The Donner-Verse!

(Submitted by Prince Adam…Thank you, Batman’s Bitch!! 😉 #TEAMSUPES4EVA!! xoxo)

Anyone who knows me, knows that for the longest time I’ve had a rather intense dislike for Bryan Singer’s 2006 film Superman Returns. With this being the 10 year anniversary of the release of the film, I’ve been thinking a lot about Superman Returns. Up until now I’ve regarded Superman Returns as a film with some really good moments, however for me overall it was a series of colossal misfires. I maintain that trying to relaunch the Superman film franchise in the continuity of the Richard Donner films of the late 70’s and early 80’s was a mistake. Even worse, was the plot point of giving Superman a child at the outset of this relaunched franchise. What if Superman Returns isn’t looked at as the revitalization of Superman on film, but rather the finale of the “Donner verse”? Despite Warner Brothers hoping that Superman Returns would relaunch the franchise, and despite Bryan Singer being unwilling to classify this film as an outright sequel, make no mistake, Superman Returns is essentially the finale of a Superman trilogy in the vein of what Richard Donner started in Superman: The Movie (1978), and partially continued in Superman II (1980).

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When thought of in this context some of the glaring problems I had with Superman Returns make sense. First, why would Superman leave Earth, in the hopes of finding Krypton, when he knows it’s long gone? Well, what does Superman really know about Krypton? In the first Superman film, a holographic projection of his father Jor-El tells him the planet exploded. Then in Superman II, the criminals of Krypton, who were imprisoned in the Phantom Zone, escaped and wreaked havoc on Earth. Then, five years prior to Superman Returns, astronomers reportedly found Krypton. Now, given that Superman got all his information about Krypton from essentially a recording, and given that Superman didn’t know that the Phantom Zone was a separate entity from Krypton, I believe Superman would second guess the destruction of Krypton, and if there was a slight chance that his home planet wasn’t destroyed he’d go see for himself, because maybe that means he’s not Krypton’s last son….he’s not alone!
Jason White… a.k.a. the kid….a.k.a. Superman’s offspring. Many fans, including myself, weren’t fond of this monumental addition to the Superman film franchise. I feel most of the problem arose with how the situation was handled. The relaunch of the film series is not the appropriate place to introduce the love child of Superman and Lois Lane. Yet, viewing Superman Returns as the finale of the Donner-inspired universe, it seems more appropriate. The reveal of Jason’s paternity puts Superman Returns definitively as a sequel to Superman II, the Richard Lester cut, as that is where coitus between Superman and his lady-love occurs. This also explains Lois Lane’s shock and surprise when it becomes apparent that Jason is Kal-El’s child. She doesn’t remember her sexual escapade with Superman in the Fortress, on that conveniently placed bed back in the 1980 film because he wiped her memory of it with a super kiss (that’s as ridiculous as it sounds). It would also explain her ambivalence to the fact that Clark Kent is Superman!

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I really never had issues with Brandon Routh as Clark Kent/Superman. It’s become clear he was cast to play Christopher Reeve’s version of the character, which was already pre-established. I think he brought a good balance of confidence/warmth to Superman. His take on the bumbling Clark Kent was more subdued than Christopher Reeve, something which I actually preferred. He was very facially emotive and effective. I just wish he would’ve had more than seven lines of dialogue in the film. (See DC’s Legends of Tomorrow to see how good Brandon is as The Atom.) Kate Bosworth actually did a decent job of portraying Lois’ jaded predisposition in this film. I also thought she played the tenacious go getting investigative reporter angle quite effectively. Far more effective than Margot Kidder with that aspect, in my opinion. The negative where Kate Bosworth is concerned, is her age. At 24 when she began filming, she looked far too young to be an award-winning journalist and a mother to a 5-year-old son. This showed, and pulled me out of the movie at times. Kevin Spacey’s Lex Luthor was the biggest misfire from performance, all the way through to the way the character was written. It’s a shame really, because on paper Kevin Spacey should make a perfect Lex Luthor. While things have changed for Superman and Lois, Lex Luthor remains the same, obsessed with ridiculous land schemes that never work. The writers had the perfect opportunity to move Lex into the corrupted wealthy business man mode, while not hindering the previous Donner-verse after he swindles Gertrude out of her fortune. But that doesn’t happen. Of course, Spacey was carrying on from Gene Hackman but severely struggled to find an appropriate balance between a ruthless criminal hardened by 5 years of prison, with the slight camp of Gene Hackman. This leads to a performance that feels stoic at times and over the top at other times. Sam Huntington is above adequate as Jimmy Olsen, but severely underused, while Frank Langella is miscast as Perry White.

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Things that really stand out as positives in this movie, The plane sequence….which is at the time of this writing, the best Superman rescue sequence committed to film, for me at least. The sequence where he separates New Krypton out of Earth and lifts it into space was awe-inspiring. At first glance it seems highly implausible, given that the land mass is riddled with kryptonite, and Superman himself has remnants of a kryptonite shiv in his side. However, at this point Superman knows that doing this will kill him, so he flies up to the sun for one last shot of Vitamin D, boosts his powers to full capacity one last time, ready to endure a final sacrifice to secure humanity’s safety. Superman’s flight with Lois delivered one of the most emotional lines of dialogue ever in a Superman movie! Superman’s listening post scene above Earth, perfectly transplanted an Alex Ross image to the screen. The cinematography and set design was beautifully detailed. The Daily Planet and Fortress of Solitude look fantastic. For the first several viewings, the colour palate of the film felt off. Of course, it had to change because decades had passed from the first two films. Recently as I watched my 8 Disc Superman Blu-Ray collection, I was watching some of the Fleischer Superman cartoons. And there it was….Superman Returns looks and feels like a live action Fleischer cartoon! While I’m not sure it works entirely given the films continuity, it’s unique seeing that era of Superman depicted in some small way in live action. I also enjoyed John Ottman’s musical score of the film, which has a great blend of John Williams original themes, mixed with brand new themes that emotionally invest the viewer in the film.
Looking further into my dislikes of this film, I have to go back to Lex Luthor’s master plan…..because it’s repetitive and downright ridiculous. Several times Lex Luthor mentions how the Kryptonian crystal technology can create advanced weaponry. Here’s an idea, why not use that technology to create weaponry or even a version of Kryptonian Armor to combat Superman yourself, since you’re clearly hell-bent on getting revenge on him? The film would’ve greatly benefited by showing the audience and elaborating on where Superman was, and why he left Earth. Leaving that Return to Krypton sequence in the film and using comic book panels to explain the events of the first to films, would’ve been a great idea. I mean sure, diehard Superman fans know what happens, but there’s a whole new generation of movie goers who haven’t seen the previous Superman films, shocking as that may seem. Given what I said previously, calling Superman a dead-beat or absentee father isn’t fair, but having a scene where Superman lurks outside Lois Lane’s home, watching her, her fiancée, and her son is borderline stalking, and felt completely inappropriate and out of character! People always talk about deleted scenes; well I wish I could delete that scene from the movie!

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For me, Superman Returns fails as a reboot of the Superman film series. Instead of side stepping the issue and saying the film was “in the spirit of the Donner films,” Bryan Singer should have flat-out admitted this film was a bona-fide sequel to Superman II. Instead of a half-hearted marketing campaign of music and Marlon Brando voice over, the studio could’ve heavily marketed the film as the conclusion of the original Superman film saga. Maybe they could’ve used quick clips of the first two films in trailers and TV spots. Imagine The Dark Knight Rises marketing campaign, but using Superman, Superman II, & Superman Returns instead. I think that would have made Superman Returns more of an event film, capturing the attention of new and old fans alike. Still, when looked at as the finale to a Donner-Verse trilogy, Superman Returns is a flawed but heart-felt love letter to a series of films that captivated several generations of Superman fans. It also brings that version of the characters story full circle; “You will be different, sometimes you’ll feel like an outcast, but you’ll never be alone. You will make my strength your own. You will see my life through your eyes, as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father and the father becomes the son.” Superman is literally walking in his father’s shoes. Through no fault of his own he was separated from his son, who is being raised by an earth couple. Similarly, Superman can only guide and watch his son from a far. While it’s not the Superman film I wanted, it was far more respectful to Christopher Reeve and his legacy, then Superman III & Superman IV: The Quest for Peace ever were. (“Amen.” -D.P.)

#MMM: The Man of Steel (2013) Edition.

After all the haters-gonna-hate I’ve been hearing this weekend over BvS (WTH, people?? It’s awesome!! Official review coming soon… ;)), I figured our Big Blue Boy Scout could use a little love. First, let’s take a look back at the OG intro to our current Clark Kent (review submitted by Prince Adam…thank you, sir :)), then scroll on down for the #MMM part of this Man (of Steel ;)) Meat Monday post…#TEAMSUPESALLDAYEVERYDAY!!! 🙂 xoxo

“A young boy learns that he has extraordinary powers and is not of this Earth. As a young man, he journeys to discover where he came from and what he was sent here to do. But the hero in him must emerge if he is to save the world from annihilation and become the symbol of hope for all mankind.” (Warner Brothers)

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If you only know Superman from the movies, check your pre-conceived notions at the door and get ready for a Superman you’ve never seen before! If you’re a new or long time reader of the comic book, get ready for a Superman movie that cherry picks from various Superman stories, delivers the action you’ve seen on the page and always dreamed of seeing in live action, but also makes some changes to the mythos that actually work for the better. This film differentiates itself from past incarnations by focusing more so on the alien nature of Superman, more than any other incarnation brought to the screen….big or small! Sure, the alien angle has been seen in fits and spurts on Smallvillle and Superman: The Animated Series, and to a lesser extent Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, but it’s expanded a great deal for this film. To do this, the film makers drew on several Superman stories including, Man of Steel (1986), Birthright, and Earth One. There were also nods to For Tomorrow, All-Star Superman, and For All Seasons. All this, gives us a Kal-El who is torn between two worlds, two fathers, someone who is trying to find his place in the world, someone who’s presence makes humanity call our beliefs into question, and someone who ultimately chooses to become the protector and inspiration of hope for Earth. This film is as much a superhero origin tale as it is a first contact/alien invasion story. With that in mind, the Zack Snyder film takes the majority of its cues from Earth One and Birthright, with Zod being one of the major differences from those stories. Speaking of Zod, as a hard-core Superman fan I’ve seen and read many stories where Kryptonian’s attack, want to enslave, or transform Earth into Krypton. However, I’ve never seen it done quite like this, on this grand of a scale.

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I’m going to touch on some of the aspects of the film I loved. Where do I start? Well how about like the film…on Krypton! I loved absolutely every aspect of everything on Krypton! I wish the film would’ve spent more time there, hell I’d watch a prequel movie about Krypton and its civilization. Everything from the technology, to the wardrobe, to the weaponry. It created this regal and ancient, yet advanced civilization. I especially enjoyed the liquid metal effect used for some of the technology. Seeing the Kryptonian landscape and the indigenous wild life made this advanced alien world more breathtaking and brought it to life like never before. At the end of these sequences, you want to spend more time on Krypton, and feel a sense of loss when the planet explodes I liked the fact that this film took the non linear approach to tell the story post the Krypton scenes. I enjoyed that most of these moments were quieter moments, that helped us to connect to our main characters, so that once all the action and fighting got thrown at us it had meaning and we cared. With Smallville having been on the air for 10 years, we’ve arguably seen just about everything there is to see with Clark growing up. It was wise of the filmmakers then, to only show us the bits that were pertinent to the characters development. All this while putting a new spin on those situations. I really liked the bus saving sequence; in fact I wish they would’ve visually shown more of that particular moment. Specifically, from Clark’s perspective while saving the bus and its occupants. This would’ve given more grandeur to the moment. The reworked look of x-ray vision was unique. It leaves you taken a back, scared, and flustered at first, much like it left young Clark in that moment. My only complaint here is the pacing of the flashbacks. They all felt a little too quick. I feel they would’ve been more effective had each one been slightly longer, and possibly more separated from one another. Let’s move on to the action and fight scenes. I’ll start with often overused, but in this case necessary cliché’s, absolutely breathtaking and spectacular. The Smallville Battle, and what I’m referring to as Mayhem in Metropolis, epitomized what as Superman fans, we’ve seen in the comic books, and the Justice League animated series finally realized on screen in live action. The fights depict a speed and ferocity when the Kryptonian’s do battle, which would be expected of people with that much power, especially those bred to be warriors. There’s a moment between Superman and Faora early on in the Smallville battle that feels like a classic scene from the old Western films. The third act is like a mix of Independence Day and The Matrix, but amplified. For my money, the action scenes and special effects are some of the best we’ve seen to date in the superhero film genre.

With the strong cast assembled for Man of Steel, I expected good performances from all involved, and I was not disappointed. From the word go, Henry Cavill had the look to play Superman. Then you see him in costume, and that belief is reaffirmed. After seeing the film, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that Henry Cavill, from an acting standpoint, was a perfect choice to play the modern-day version of Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman! Cavill gives us an emotionally conflicted Kal, who shelters himself from the human race out of necessity, in part because of fear and constant persecution from humans. Also however, because if he asserted himself he could potentially hurt those who persecuted him, or reveal himself to the world via his rescues. This is all on display in the oil rig, and bar scene respectively. After counseling from the spirit of his birth father, the lost outsider becomes more at ease with his role as a bridge between his two worlds. Once the character steps out from the scout ship donning the most famous uniform in comic book history, Cavill gets to play a whole new side of the character. As Superman, Henry is more confident and assertive, yet still a bit raw as a superhero. You see this assertive confidence in his interaction with the military, while his rawness as a superhero is evident in his battles with the Kryptonian’s. Here he’s more reactionary, instead of controlling where and how the battle takes place. The farm boy Clark Kent comes through whenever Henry Cavill is interacting with Diane Lane’s Martha Kent, as well as with Amy Adams’ Lois Lane. In these moments we see a Clark Kent who is more open, trusting, conveys a sense of warmth and even cracks a smile and laughs. This movie didn’t give us an opportunity to see how Henry Cavill will handle the secret identity “Clark Kent” but he’s managed to check off all the boxes for the rest of the characters personality with fine form. At times Henry is very emotive with his facial expressions, without saying a word. These moments include the pain, agony, and sadness over Jonathan’s death and the final outcome with Zod. Then we see pure joy from his first flight, punctuated with a big smile. All three instances are effective and very powerful. Thanks to Henry’s facial expression, visual effects and camera angles, for the first time ever in a Superman film, I got the sense of what it must feel like when Superman flies. For once I felt like an active participant, not a casual spectator. It was fantastic, and reaffirmed that if I could, I’d choose Superman’s power of flight over any other.

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Amy Adams as Lois Lane….Finally, we have a big screen Lois Lane that doesn’t come off as a colossal idiot or a poor excuse for a reporter! Lois Lane, as played by Amy Adams, is a go-getter, tough as nails, a damn good investigative reporter, and integral to the resolution of the plot. Granted, part of the credit for this Lois has to go to Snyder and Goyer, but it wouldn’t have been the same without an actress of this caliber. Amy balanced the feistiness of Lois when dealing with co-workers like Steve Lomabard, and a level of compassion with Clark/Superman perfectly. The development of the Superman/Lois relationship may have moved a little quickly, but I believed it, because there was a trust that began and kept building from the first moment Superman saved her, and kept growing throughout the film. From Clark’s point of view, Lois is the first human being, aside from his adoptive parents, to show him an ounce of respect or trust. Even when he turned himself over to the authorities she was there every step of the way. So for me, that impassioned kiss was earned and completely justified for both parties. Amy and Henry sold the beginnings of this relationship quite well. I think it’s fantastic that Lois Lane knows Clark is Superman. Going forward she can be even more integral to the plot by helping Clark cover up and hone his secret identity, instead of being relegated to a by the numbers damsel in distress/love interest.

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Looking at both of Kal-El’s parental units in the film, one thing is clear; the emphasis is on the fathers, while the mothers get shafted in terms of screen time and story. Russell Crowe was absolutely brilliant as Jor-El. He really had a strong presence in this film. Crowe’s authoritative discourse with the council, gave Jor-El that sense of importance in Kryptonian society that we’ve read about in the source material all these years. I liked that Jor-El was capable of handling himself in a fight. It’s an aspect we’ve never seen on film before. Jor-El didn’t seem to shed a tear as he sent his son into space, but you could sense his pain and sadness through Russell Crowe’s eye’s, mannerisms and movements. I applaud the filmmaker’s choice of having Russell Crowe’s Jor-El physically present in scenes with his adult son. This made the scenes more tangible and the actor’s performance more credible and immersive. Aylet Zurer was severely underused as Lara Lor-Van. Despite this, her limited time on-screen yields an extremely emotional performance. The way she evokes her fears and sadness about losing their son forever, puts the audience in the same head space as the character. Having to imagine sending a young loved one away, knowing you’ll never see them again brought tears to my eyes. Next up are Clark’s earthly parents, Jonathan and Martha Kent, played wonderfully by Kevin Costner and Diane Lane. While I wouldn’t say these two actors were under used, I would’ve like to see the scenes they were in, lengthened just a bit. I know some people had issues with the way these actors portrayed the roles. Some said that Kevin Costner’s take on Jonathan made him seem like a jerk. I disagree. I just believe that Costner was more steadfast and decisive in Clark keeping his secret hidden, because he feared his son would be taken away from him. Sure the execution is slightly different, but his motivations are in league with other iterations of the character, namely the Smallville version. Kevin Costner’s scenes were the emotional heartbeat of this film. Two scenes in particular struck me. The scene where he tells Clark about his true heritage, and the death scene. In the first scene, there’s a genuine crack in Costner’s voice that solidifies the love this man has for his son. His death scene emphasized the lengths a man would go to in protecting his son. The look on Costner’s face as the tornado got to him, caused another tear or two to roll down my fac. Diane Lane’s moments with her on-screen son, both young and adult, were filled with emotion and a palpable love that really sold the mother son dynamic. The scenes where she comforts young Clark as he struggles to come to grips with his emerging x-ray vision, and the scene where she relates her fears of losing her son to his heritage are examples of Diane Lane’s skill and talent. Her performance made the scene where Superman beats the crap out of Zod for threatening his mother so much more rewarding. As a son who loves his mother, coupled with Diane Lane’s performance, I could relate to Superman most, through his relationship with his mother. Costner and Lane have tied Michael Caine for the amount of times they’ve made me cry in a superhero movie. Well done.

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The main villain of the piece of course is General Zod, brought to life this time around by Michael Shannon. Some people have compared Shannon’s performance as Zod to that of Heath Ledger as the Joker. I think that is unfair and inaccurate. Nor do I think Michael Shannon is the only actor fit to play General Zod. Having said that, Michael Shannon gives viewers a militaristic leader worthy of the title General. The character is focused and dedicated on one cause….the betterment and protection of Krypton, its way of life, and its citizens. The courses of events throughout the film see Zod erupt in fits of incredible intensity, rage and anger. Due to Michael Shannon’s performance, Zod never degenerates into a megalomaniac or cartoonish one-dimensional villain. Instead, there were times when I got sucked into his performance that I could understand his perspective and sympathies with him. Those feelings get shot to hell of course, when you realize that his endgame results in the genocide of the human race, but still. Highlights from his performance are the Krypton scenes, with Jor-El and the council, as well as his final exchanges of dialogue with Henry Cavill’s Superman. As far as villain’s go, Antje Traue stole the show as Faora. She was a villain, and there’s no two ways about it. She was aggressive, vicious, and when she killed, it didn’t phase her one bit. She actually seemed to enjoy exerting her power over others at certain points throughout the film. Faora, even though she was second in command to Zod, felt very much his equal. Credit goes to actress Antje Traue, for her spine-tingling and convincing performance that epitomized evil. One last performance that deserves mentioning is Laurence Fishburne as Daily Planet editor Perry White. As is typically the case in Superman films, I felt the actor and character were both underused in the film. Yet, Fishburne was able to convey his sternness and journalistic integrity, without his performance coming off as an overdone caricature, as has been the case in previous adaptations. With his involvement in the final act, we get to see something rarely reserved for the comic books, the caring and compassion he has for his employees. As a fan, I really appreciated his scenes with Jenny for highlighting how far Perry will go for his bullpen.

There will be those who flat-out don’t like this film. You know what, that’s expected and completely fine. However, there are some criticism’s of this film, that I strongly disagree with and want to share my thoughts on. One complaint I’ve read is that there’s too much destruction in this film. Ok fine, but have you read the Superman comic books or watched any other superhero movies? Here are some examples that spring to mind featuring ample destruction; The Death of Superman, Birthright, Earth One, New Krypton. Here are some movie examples: The Avengers, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight Rises, Iron-Man 3, The Incredible Hulk, all three Transformers films and the list goes on. Destruction in a superhero comic book or film is par for the course. To go along with this complaint, is that Superman caused a fair amount of that destruction. The way I saw it, Zod, his cronies, and the world engine initiated a majority of the destruction. Superman, in a reactionary sense may have contributed to the property damage, but again, this has happened before…see previously mentioned comic books and animated series such as Justice League for examples. While I’m on the subject of property damage, some fans contend that the film should’ve had a scene where Superman helped repair the damage. Really? Did The Avengers help repair the damage to New York? No…they ate Shawarma! Did Batman repair damage to Gotham sustained in The Dark Knight Trilogy? No…unless you count rebuilding Wayne Manor? And if so, since he rebuilt his own house, does that make him selfish? In the case of comic books, I remember an issue where a member of Metropolis’ Special Crimes Unit bemoaned about the fact that these super powered beings get into these fights and leave them to clean up the mess. Clearly, this isn’t an isolated incident only appearing in this film.

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I’ve also heard the complaint that Superman “didn’t care about humanity” because he let innocent people die instead of getting them out of Metropolis. Ah yes…Superman didn’t care about humanity. If that’s true, why did he hand himself over to the authorities, to be handed over to Zod? Oh yeah, to spare them from Zod’s wrath. Even though, through the course of his life with the exception of the Kent’s and Lois, most humans he encountered treated him like s#^+. I call BS (no, not Bryan Singer) on the “him not caring about humanity” claim. Also, even if he evacuated all of Metropolis, that wouldn’t have stopped Zod from carrying out his plan. The World Engine….was targeting….wait for it…THE WORLD! Superman took the sensible, logical course of action, disabling the device. While doing this, people died, yes, but Superman saved humanity as a whole, saving far more lives than the lives that would’ve been lost had he evacuated all of Metropolis. As for making random rescues throughout the film…he did, but that’s another criticism I’ve seen thrown around. Pete Ross, the random soldier falling from the sky, Col. Hardy, and Lois all come to mind.

On to the big one….Superman kills Zod in the third act, by snapping his neck. Here’s my take on the situation itself. I was fine with it, for several reasons. He had no other choice. The Phantom Zone was gone, he had pleaded with Zod to stop, to which Zod said never. Either Superman would have to cover Zod’s eyes for God knows how long, or turn him over to the authorities, where he would’ve escaped. Or he could’ve let him continue on his killing spree, specifically, watching him burn a family to death with heat vision. Since none of these were an option, Superman did the only thing he could in that moment. The other reason I was okay with Superman killing Zod, was because of Superman’s reaction afterwards. He fell to his knees and began to weep. Clearly, he was torn up by the choice he had to make, and didn’t want to have to take that course of action, as evidenced with him pleading with Zod to stop. Surely, many will point out that Superman has a rule against killing in the comic books. This is true, but that rule was born out of the fact that he had killed three Kryptonian’s from the Pocket Universe, was so distraught over it, and vowed never to do it again. Of course, he would later break that vow in his fight to the death with Doomsday, out of absolute necessity of course. Some who are against the scene may cry foul because the beloved Christopher Reeve version has never killed before. That’s all well and good, but are we sure about that? In Superman II he throws and or, watches three powerless Kryptonians fall into a bottomless void presumably killing them. Yeah I know, in the Donner Cut of II the Kryptonians were arrested, but that version was never intended to be seen, ergo I don’t count it. In Superman IV, Kal-El throws Nuclear Man into a power plant there by killing him. My point is, it’s been done before, so I wasn’t offended by it, nor did I find it completely out of character. Ultimately, Zack Snyder said that much like the comics, they are going to use this moment to establish Superman’s no killing policy going forward. I for one look forward to how that will play itself out. By the time this is posted, I’ll have watched Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, so I’ll know exactly what happens next.

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The wait for Man of Steel was a long two and a half years. After seeing it twice in theaters, it was without a doubt worth the wait! The film has the character journey and sci-fi action. As a film goer, this Superman tale feels completely fresh. As a comic book reader, this take on the character calls to mind the Superman on the page from 1986 to today. For me, this film is the perfect blend of fresh yet familiar. Man of Steel has managed to recapture in me the same sense of awe and wonder from when I first discovered Superman as a 10-year-old boy. The Superman film franchise is up, up, and away again, and if the filmmakers play their cards right, the Man of Steel will be soaring on film for years to come.

Ho-stess’s Addition: #MMMmmmmmmmman  of Steel (aka Henry Cavill) appreciation pics…You’re welcome. 😉 xoxoxo

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(Seems legit… ;))

#SeXXXOnSunday: The Superhero Edition, Part 2.

(Huge thanks to Eric for another kickass edition of #SexOnSunday…You’re the SOS Shizzle, my Kinky McNizzle!! 😉 xoxo)

Superman XXX: A Porn Parody (2011)

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Lex Luthor (Eric Masterson) & Miss Teschmacher (Alexis Texas)

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Later…

General Zod, Ursa & Non force Lois Lane (Andy San Dimas) to have sex. (Gasp!)

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Afterwards…

Superman (Ryan Driller) arrives and defeats all three. (Too easily!)

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Time to see Lois again.

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Off to save mankind. (Thank you, Superman!)

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She-Hulk XXX: An Axel Braun Parody (2013)

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She-Hulk (Chyna) & Sue Storm / Invisible Woman (Alexis Ford)

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(Taken directly from the movie… 😉 -D.P.)

Man of Steel XXX: An Axel Braun Parody (2013)

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Livewire (Sasha Knox)

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“He was lousy! I zapped his ass!”

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MoS (Ryan Driller) & Zatanna (Kendall Karson)

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“Bizarro want to fuck!”

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Lana Lang (Samantha Ryan) & Bizarro (Billy Glide)

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Later…

Mos vs. Bizarro

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Wonder Woman stops by. (Just to talk!)

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The End.

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(Ho-stess’s Note: I was originally pegged to play Wonder Woman in this but, well…Shit Happens. 😉 It’s “Justice” well, though, since the drama of it all is a big part of what inspired my “porn break”, which has turned out to be a positive thing. :))

Bonus: Your Ho-stess with She-Hulk (and Dylan Ryder, another severe #WCE for me :)), because why not? 😉 (I can ass-ure you that the wrestling fangirl in me was squeeing the whole time we shot this! ;)) xoxo

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