#FreddyFriday: The “Screener on Elm St.” Edition

Happy Freddy Friday, Bad Dreamers!

Yesterday, we posted a clas-sick VHS screener promo for Child’s Play featuring Chucky. Well, it turns out that Mr. Fredrick Krueger was in the VHS promo business before Chucky was even packaged!
To scare up some profits, Media Home Entertainment brought Freddy out of the dream world and into the TV screens of potential clients with a 7-minute video promo. The video features Robert Englund in full fright gear, hamming it up with the panache of Hulk Hogan. At this point, Freddy was more of a morbid funnyman than an unholy terror. But we like yuks with our yucks, and Freddy knew how to slay ’em! 😉 Once a monster has had at least one truly scary film, I think they’ve earned the right to sell out.
In addition to some masterful salesmanship from Freddy, there are clips from The Late Show with Joan Rivers, scenes from the first three films, news footage, and other vintage goodies. If you ever wanted an idea of how big Freddy was in the ’80s, all you have to do is watch this video.

Pleasant Nightmares, Freddy Freaks! 🙂 xoxo

#TBT: The “Chucky Killed the Video Star” Edition

Hidey-Ho, Kinky Hos! Wanna play?

Who doesn’t love dolls? They’re just about the only companion who will stay with you forever… your friend to the end, if you will…
Yes, some dolls laugh, some cry, some blink their eyes, and some go tinkle in their pants… but the doll we prefer is a cut above the rest…
Of corpse, I’m talkin’ about Chucky, the tiniest tit-an of terror since Peter Lorre!
Yikes! Sorry, Mr. Ray!

Anyway, Back in the glory(hole) days of VHS,  studios would send VHS screeners of their new releases to video stores to entice them to stock their shelves with those movies. Well, MGM really took it to next level with their screener for 1989’s Child’s Play! They actually got the star of the film to scare ’em straight!
In this 6(66) minute video, The Chuckster goes huckster! Brad Dourif voices the killer doll, who brags about his slashing boXXX office success, (g)rave reviews, and even takes time to smack-talk Freddy and Mah Boo… not cool, Chuck!

The video also includes clips and the most ’80s theme song to ever ’80s. In short, this Child’s Play screener is Chuck-ing great! 🙂

Check it out, kreeps!

#FBF: The “Alien Pours It On” Edition

A fine Alien: Covenant Day to all you XXXeno-ho-mies out there! We’re celebrating this glorious day with a cold, refreshing can of vintage terror! It’s your friendly neighborhood XXXXenomorph in a gut-bursting commercial for Pepsi!
To promote the release of 1992’s Alien 3, Pepsi unleashed the beast on the most radically ’90s teens imaginable. After being cornered by the eXXXtra-terror-estrial, the XXXtreme dudes resort to their most powerful weapon: the crisp flavor of Pepsi!
How magical is that? Coke may cause “Mean” Joe Greene to give you his jersey, but Pepsi keeps movie monsters from eviscerating you! I’d say on usefulness, the point goes to Pepsi… with no offense to Mr. Greene.
Can you imagine how many horrible deaths would have been prevented had Ripley just given the beast a Pepsi? It’s not like she wasn’t aware of the awesome power of Pepsi! Here she is having a Pepsi Day without a single care for the fate of humanity! YOU’VE DOOMED US ALL, RIPLEY!

Without any further ado, here’s the commercial. Just remember…

 In Space, No One Can Hear You Say “Pepsi, Please.”

Happy Alien: Covenant Day, Kinky Kreeps!

#FBF: The “King Kong’s REAL Thronester” Edition

Ladies and gentlemen, I am here tonight to tell you a strange story… A story so strange that no one would believe it. But, ladies and gentleman, seeing is believing. Back in 1972, stop-motion master David Allen (The Howling, Doctor Mordrid) showed us the greatest thing our eyes have ever beheld… The Return of King Kong! Not just another ape suit, but a stop-motion marvel like the true Kong of 1933. What occasion lead to the resurrection of one of cinema’s great beasts? A car commercial, of course! The Volkswagen of America company recruited Allen to give us a show to gratify our curiosity and promote their Volkswagen 411 4-Door Sedan model, a “Volkswagen big enough for everyone.” The result was a pitch–perfect tribute to the greatness that is 1933’s King Kong. Why, the commercial even has its own Ann Darrow in the form of Victoria Riskin, Fay Wray’s daughter! For even more monster-y goodness, make-up wizard Rick Baker (An American Werewolf in London, The Funhouse) appears as Kong’s arm. Ladies and gentlemen, look at Kong, the Eighth Wonder of the World… and Volkswagen enthusiast!

If you crave more excitement, gaze upon these nifty behind-the-scenes photos: