#SeXXXOnSunday: The Mutants Edition

(Presented by our very own Smutmaster Eric, of corpse…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie! 🙂 xoxo)

XXX-Men: The Hellfire Club (2013)

Look around. There’s a secret society of XXX-Rated people living among us. They appear normal, but behind closed doors, their extreme sexual powers make them hornier than you can possibly imagine. Let Emma Frost (Alexis Ford) take you on a tour of the Hellfire Club, and introduce you to a sexual world you never knew existed

XXX-Men: Psylocke Vs Magneto (2016)

Magneto (Danny D) is invading the X-Mansion and with all the other X-Men gone it’s up to the sexy Psylocke (Patty Michova) to ward off the super-villain by any means necessary, even if it means sucking his evil mutant dong

#SeXXXOnSunday: The Korova Milk Bar Edition

(Submitted on this glorious Game of Thrones premiere day by Mr. Smutmaster Eric…Thank you, my Kinkiest of Ho-mies! #dracarys 😉 xoxo)

A Clockwork Whore: Part 1 (2011)

Madison Ivy is an ultra-sexual youth in futuristic America. She and her fellow droogies, Zoe Voss and Gia Dimarco go on a wild spree of sex and crimes. Causing trouble on the streets and then fucking each other senseless in the milk bar.

A Clockwork Whore: Part 2 (2011)

We last left Madison and her trumpet of tarts fucking each other senseless at the Korova milk bar. Now they’ve ventured off into the night for a little of the old ultra-sex. The droogies stumble upon a writer’s house, and lucky for them he just happens to have a big cock. First a song and then the hungry whores devour every inch of him.

Bonus:

In B&W;


Rob Zombie: Never Gonna Stop (The Red Red Kroovy) (2001)

#TataTuesday: The One Boob at Time Edition, Part 4

(Submitted by our Kinky Ho-mie, Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, freaktastic friend! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Diana Prince, Alexyss Spradlin, Leisa Pulido & Sasha Grey

It Follows (2015)


This Ain’t Star Trek XXX (2009)

Open Windows (2014)


Bonus: Poison Ivy

(From a cosplay shoot in 2014-ish, I think. 😉 -D.P.)

A #Smutmaster Review: The WW Parody Edition

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie! 🙂 xoxo)

Wonder Woman XXX: An Axel Braun Parody (2015)

Made a few years before Vivid released it, this is one of Axel’s most mediocre parodies, with just 15 minutes of non-sex. The different storylines never develop, so there’s no conclusion to anything that’s discussed.

WW, like all of Axel’s comic parodies has great costumes, and some of the most talented performers, all capable of being equally good at the non-sex and sexual parts of a porn feature. It’s unfortunate the script is like something that was quickly scribbled onto napkins, then typed up once for the cast to yawn over, I mean read, smile and say “it’s so good,” when there’s no way they mean it.

It begins promisingly with Wonder Woman (Kimberly Kane, looking terrific) thwarting a theft in an embassy by Angle Man and his useless henchmen. She questions him about a triangle-shaped object he was carrying while tied up in her lasso, but to her surprise, he vanishes before saying much.

Later.

We see Lois Lane (Kirsten Price) waiting at a gas station, at night. Why this place? They don’t say. She was expecting Superman, but when WW shows up in his place, Lois is more perturbed than a lady at KFC that’s been told they’re out of crispy. Her arrival is a favor for Superman, that couldn’t come because he’s somewhere in Africa. (Sightseeing? Booty call? Feeding starving kids? We’re not told.)

“I won’t give up Clark without a fight,” an angry Lois tells WW. “There is no Clark, Clark is a lie!” This news just makes Lois bitchier by the minute, so she continues on with her silly, jealous bluster, but WW is unfazed and tells her “He’s made his choice!”

After that nonsense.

WW visits Doctor Fate (Eric Masterson) for answers about the triangle. After studying it, he’s only able to her “it’s heavy.” Useless! When WW leaves, he bangs this chick Maddy (Claire Robbins).

It’s the sexual highlight for me, filled with enthusiasm and more bare skin than some other scenes.

Sometime after that.

Killer Frost (Ash Hollywood) meets with Angle Man to discuss the botched embassy heist. They talk about WW for a minute or two, before screwing. Not long after he shoots his warm load on her, she freezes him out of existence. (The only funny moment!)

Later in the Batcave.

An injured Bruce Wayne studies the triangle, while WW reminisces with Batgirl (Penny Pax) about their odd outdoor threesome with Ares (Evan Stone). (This scene could’ve been exceptional, but the Vaseline smeared on the lens is distracting and the costumes stay on, so we never see their boobs. Boo!)

Afterwards.

Lois sits down to interview Cheetah (Melody Jordan), under the pretense of wanting to write a story about her, now that she’s received a pardon from President Lex Luthor. Cheetah knows Lois is full of shit and wants the truth.

They discuss a plan about their mutual enemy WW, then the frisky feline and bitchy reporter proceed to give each other a tongue-bath. (Cheetah’s silly looking costume stays on, so we never see her boobs. Boo!)

Elsewhere.

Superman (Ryan Driller) and WW heat up the Fortress of Solitude. (The boobs stay covered again. Damn you, Axel!)

After sex.

These heroes aren’t into cuddling, so they go outside to talk in the cold. (You’ll have that puzzled look too!)

After a few minutes of dull banter, an unseen force begins to control Superman’s mind. WTF? WW prepares to defend herself, and it ends abruptly. Boo! Hiss! 

Rating  out
 
Bonus BTS:
Ho-stess’s PS- Fun Fact: I was originally cast as Wondy in this, but got booted due to… “porn politics”. It was super devastating to me at the time, and was the final straw that broke the “Taking a Hiatus” camel’s back. Now years later, I’m super glad things worked out the way they did. (Though you can still eXXXpect some naughty Wondy work from me in the future. 😉 xoxo)

#WetWednesday: The Swimming Pool Edition, Part 4

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Happy Hump Day, Ho-mies! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Raquel Welch, Erika Jordan, Jacqui Holland & Miley Cyrus.

Lady in Cement (1968)

During an ocean dive, Miami gumshoe Tony Rome finds a woman’s body with its feet encased in a concrete block and sets-out to solve the murder case.

Bikini Avengers (2015)

[aka Bikini Super Heroes]

When the Jade Empress hatches a plan for world domination, it’s up to crime-fighting duo Bikini Avenger and Thong Girl to stop her and her nefarious minions.

We Can’t Stop (2013)


Ho-stess’s PS#WaybackWednesday 😉 xoxo

 

 

Hidden Faces: The Masked Edition, Part 2

(Submitted by the Smuttiest Smutmaster in the known universe, Mr. Smutmaster Eric…Thanks so much, Kinky Ho-mie! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Michelle Pfeiffer, Sunny Lane, Aurora Snow, Phoenix Marie & Rosario Dawson

Batman Returns (1992)

Batman: The Animated Series, S2/Ep7 (1994)

Batgirl XXX: An Extreme Comixxx Parody (2012)

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014)

Bonus #1:

Rosario in great leaked selfies!

Bonus #2:

Kinky Klown from Outer Space

(Ha! I know that Klown!! 😉 xoxo -DP)

#SexOnSunday: The “We Are Groin” Edition

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…who, for the record, has a vastly different POV of the actual Guardians of the Galaxy than yours truly. It’s in my personal Top 3 comic movies, so I’m definitely going to be checking this parody out based on Eric’s glowing rec…Thanks, Kinky Ho-miebot! 🙂 xoxo)

Gnardians of the Galaxy (2015)

Running Length: 46 Mins.

Cast:

Aaron Wilcox as Pecker Quill / Star Load
Daisy Ducati as Gamwhora
Shane Diesel as Crax
April O’Neil as Rocket Raccooch
AJ as Groin

We meet Star Load in the process of stealing the “Infinity Bone” orb. After it’s in his possession, he’s interrupted by Kokrath (Tabitha Stevens) who wants it for herself. He gets by her and is next seen on a prison planet called “The Kum.” He joins forces with the other heroes and the sexy space adventure takes off!


Summation:

Gnardians is somewhat shorter than Guardians of the Galaxy, but overall more entertaining. The big budget hit didn’t have a marvelous moment and I couldn’t find an interesting trait between the five heroes. In the parody the dialogue is funnier and the characterizations a lot more enjoyable. I like the make-up, how the villain is defeated, the original theme song heard during the opening credits and its two sexual scenes are more exciting than watching numerous dull battle sequences.

Rating  out

Can be viewed for free on Woodrocket.com and is on the DVD Gnardians Of The Galaxy And Other Porn Parodies.

#SexInSeptember: The Task Force X Edition

Hiya, Kinky Ho-mies!! I’m back in Hell A after my Japanese shenanigans. I slacked off on my online duties big time (AND REGRET NOTHING!!! :)), so let’s get the catching up underway, shall we?? First up, a lovely Sexxx in September post submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, friendly fiend! I’ve missed your daily boobie art offerings since Twitter banned me. (A situation I shall rectify today, btw, one way or another. 😉 xoxo)

Suicide Squad XXX: An Axel Braun Parody (2016)

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(S S XXX is the best parody I’ve seen from Axel Braun! Some of them he’s made have incoherent and dull storylines, with routine sex, that’s so boring you’ll want to skip ahead to the pop shots. I highly recommend this for the sex and non-sex parts – Eric)

First.

Crazy, hot padded cell fun w/ Harley (Kleio Valentine) & Katana (Asa Akira).

ssxxx2 ssxxx3 ssxxx4 ssxxx5

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Afterward.

Amanda Waller (Nyomi Banxx) introduces us to Rick Flag (Alec Knight), Killer Frost (Anna Bell Peaks), Captain Boomerang (Seth Gamble) & Deadshot (Lexington Steele).

ssxxx9Ready for action!

ssxxx10Later…

They meet Enchantress (Riley Steele).

enchant

She’s not feeling too magical, but is back to her old self after sex w/ Boomerang.

enchant2 enchant3

Later…

With the help of her magic, Task Force X gets into Arkham Asylum.

taskxReunited with Joker (Tommy Pistol) and it feels so good! (“I can vouch for that…” 😉 -D.P.)

jokerharxxx jokerhar2Flashback.

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Killer Frost starts freezing things.

killerf killerf2She warms up somewhat after meeting Riddler (Owen Gray) & Poison Ivy (Katy Kiss).

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While locked in a room Katana gets anal from Deadshot. (Perfect aim!)

deadan deadan2Later…

While attempting to escape, Joker & Harley meet Batman (Charles Dera).

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Want to know how it ends?

You need to watch it!

Porn: The Musical

(A review submitted by TyGrr…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie!! 🙂 xo)

ptmdamn2

On a sound stage a wacky crew works on a Jizz Flick where jaded porn director Miles Deep learns, with the help of his Assistant, Anya Knees- who has dreams bigger than porn- that his formulaic methods for getting the “money shot” are missing one essential ingredient: heart. (“I remember that feeling well…” 😉 -D.P.)

The Stud Muffin of this musical is Big D Magee. When he pulls a Diva and splits, it’s up to The Sound Guy (that’s his name) who is smitten with Porn Star Tess Tickles to step in and save the day with his… impressive hidden talent.

Acting is on point, and the cinematography is seamless. With toe-tapping dance choreography, songs such as Don’t Fuck with the Formula and the duet Making Porn with You are lyrically humorous.

porn-the-musical

Written and Directed by Erin Nydick and Meghan Malone, with Music and Lyrics from Jake Minter, this twenty-three minute short is a thesis film from students at Ithaca College in New York. Filmed over two weekends, according to Malone, “coordinating the musical numbers of the film were simultaneously the most fun and difficult parts of shooting. Currently submitted to film festivals, there has been talks of a feature or stage adaption.” Abbey Eichorn, who plays ‘Anya’, has been performing since age six, taking voice lessons, dance classes, and performing in plays such as The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

An amazing amalgamation of smut and song, if you enjoy porn and musicals (and who doesn’t?) then Porn: The Musical is for you!

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For more info:

Porn: The Musical on Facebook and pornthemusicalfilm@gmail.com

Meghan Malone on Instagram: meghanbree: Twitter: @meghanb23

Abbey Eichorn on Instagram and Twitter: @abbeynormally

Ho-stess’s PS– Here the actual Porn Musical I considered auditioning for, but chickened out because I wasn’t sure my voice was up to snuff. Regret not having the balls to give it a go back then, but dang…The folks they did cast ROCKED IT!!! (And at least I didn’t end up on the blooper reel. ;)) xo


Karnal Kombat Episode 6: This Ain’t Game of Thrones vs. A Wet Dream on Elm Street

It’s been a while, but I was finally able to get back in the studio and krank out a new Karnal Kombat Episode. I know Game of Thrones is probably stretching (hehe ;)) the definition of Ho-rror a bit, but it was really hard (hehe, xs 2 ;)) to concentrate on anything else ’round finale time. 😉 xoxoxo

GOTPORNO

 

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