Badges & Boobs: The Law Enforcement Edition, Part 1

(Submitted by our beloved Smutmaster General, Eric…Thank you, Kinky Ho-mie! ūüôā xoxo)

Featuring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Julia Ann, Rocco Reed & Frances McDormand

Blue Steel (1990)

A female rookie in the police force engages in a cat and mouse game with a pistol wielding psychopath who becomes obsessed with her.

Stop! Or My Mom Will Fuck! (2010)

Julia’s son is brought home by the police again. In an attempt to placate the police officer, Julia offers him a couple of big tits to investigate.

Fargo (1996)

Jerry Lundegaard’s inept crime falls apart due to his and his henchmen’s bungling and the persistent police work of the pregnant Marge Gunderson.


Bonus:

Gold Hat (Alfonso Bedoya) in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)

Ho-stess’s¬†#TBT PS-¬†Little¬†Known¬†Fact: I’m¬†former¬†FBI.¬†;.)¬†xoxo

#SeXXXOnSunday: The Mutants Edition

(Presented by our very own Smutmaster Eric, of corpse…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie! ūüôā xoxo)

XXX-Men: The Hellfire Club (2013)

Look around. There’s a secret society of XXX-Rated people living among us. They appear normal, but behind closed doors, their extreme sexual powers make them hornier than you can possibly imagine. Let Emma Frost (Alexis Ford) take you on a tour of the Hellfire Club, and introduce you to a sexual world you never knew existed

XXX-Men: Psylocke Vs Magneto (2016)

Magneto (Danny D) is invading the X-Mansion and with all the other X-Men gone it’s up to the sexy Psylocke (Patty Michova) to ward off the super-villain by any means necessary, even if it means sucking his evil mutant dong

#SeXXXOnSunday: The Korova Milk Bar Edition

(Submitted on this glorious Game of Thrones premiere day by Mr. Smutmaster Eric…Thank you, my Kinkiest of Ho-mies! #dracarys ūüėȬ†xoxo)

A Clockwork Whore: Part 1 (2011)

Madison Ivy is an ultra-sexual youth in futuristic America. She and her fellow droogies, Zoe Voss and Gia Dimarco go on a wild spree of sex and crimes. Causing trouble on the streets and then fucking each other senseless in the milk bar.

A Clockwork Whore: Part 2 (2011)

We last left Madison and her trumpet of tarts fucking each other senseless at the Korova milk bar. Now they’ve ventured off into the night for a little of the old ultra-sex. The droogies stumble upon a writer’s house, and lucky for them he just happens to have a big cock. First a song and then the hungry whores devour every inch of him.

Bonus:

In B&W;


Rob Zombie: Never Gonna Stop (The Red Red Kroovy) (2001)

Your Meter is Running: The Vehicles Edition, Part 3

(Submitted by , bc you can’t spell “erotic” without “eric”, #amirite??? ūüėČ Thanks, Kinky Ho-miebot! ūüôā xoxo)

Featuring: Robert De Niro, Harry Canyon – voice by Richard Romanus, Tommy Pistol, Misty Stone, Bill Bailey, Eric John, Angela Jones & Bruce Willis.

Taxi Driver (1976)

A mentally unstable Vietnam War veteran works as a night-time taxi driver in New York City where the perceived decadence and sleaze feeds his urge for violent action, while attempting to save a preadolescent prostitute in the process.

Heavy Metal (1981)

A glowing green orb – which embodies ultimate evil – terrorizes a young girl with an anthology of bizarre and fantastic stories of dark fantasy, eroticism and horror.

Taxi Driver: A XXX Parody (2011)

It’s more of a¬†serious porn remake than a¬†parody that’s intended to make you laugh.

Pulp Fiction (1994)

The lives of two mob hit men, a boxer, a gangster’s wife, and a pair of diner bandits intertwine in four tales of violence and redemption.

Happy 4th!: The Stars and Stripes Edition, Part 2

(Submitted by our Ho-rrorday Kinkmaster, Eric…Thanks, Smutmeister, and¬†a Fabulously Fearsome Fourth to all our Kinky Ho-mies!! ūüôā xoxo)

My Sister’s Hot Friend Vol. 37 (2014)

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)


Big Tits In Uniform 13 (2014)

Sergeant Drill Me (2013)

Lt. Chanel Preston is tired of lazy soldiers not pulling their weight – and Kieran Lee is the worst. She drags him to Captain Kirsten Price’s office to make sure he’s properly disciplined. What will he have to do? Push-ups, sit-ups, and an afternoon of tit worship and pussy licking.

#TataTuesday: The One Boob at Time Edition, Part 4

(Submitted by our Kinky Ho-mie, Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, freaktastic¬†friend! ūüôā xoxo)

Featuring: Diana Prince, Alexyss Spradlin, Leisa Pulido & Sasha Grey

It Follows (2015)


This Ain’t Star Trek XXX (2009)

Open Windows (2014)


Bonus: Poison Ivy

(From a cosplay shoot in 2014-ish, I think. ūüėČ -D.P.)

Beach Party a Go-Go, Part 1

(Submitted on this sublime Summer solstice by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie! ūüôā xoxo)

It’s Summer once again KH readers, so go play in the ocean and watch hot bikini babes tan their tight tushes! ūüėČ

If that’s not your thing, you can sit inside with a lemonade and enjoy the beaches in this post without getting sand in places you don’t want, or nasty sunburns you’ll spend weeks complaining about…You’re welcum!! ūüėČ

Featuring: Lynda Carter, Penny Pax, Keiran Lee, Leslie Nielsen, Ted Danson, Diana Prince & Statue of Liberty.

Wonder Woman TV Series (1975‚Äď1979)

Summertime Crush (2014)

Keiran Lee was having a bad year, and decided to take a walk on the beach to clear his head. He was just minding his own business hanging out by the pier when sexy slut Penny Pax found him there and saw that he was clearly upset.

Creepshow (1982)

Segment: Something to Tide You Over

Richard Vickers, a vicious, wealthy psychopath whose spry jocularity belies his cold-blooded murderousness, stages a terrible fate for his unfaithful wife, Becky, and her lover, Harry Wentworth.


#FreedomFriday (2016)

Planet of the Apes (1968)
 

Bonus:

Mungo Jerry – In the Summertime (1970)

Driving and Parked #1: The Vehicles Edition, Part 2

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-miebot! ūüôā xoxo)

Featuring: Tura Satana, Haji, Paul A. Partain, Sally Burns, Terry McMinn, William Vail, Ed Guinn, Marcus London, Britney Amber, Woody Harrelson & Juliette Lewis.

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965)

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

Halloween XXX Porn Parody (2011)


Natural Born Killers (1994)

Bonus Music Video:

Deep Dark Robot – Can’t Getcha Out Of My Mind (2012)


Ho-stess’s PS#FBF to that one time I was in a car…Remember that?? #goodtimes ūüôā

A #Smutmaster Review: The WW Parody Edition

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie! ūüôā xoxo)

Wonder Woman XXX: An Axel Braun Parody (2015)

Made a few years before Vivid released it, this is one of Axel’s most mediocre parodies, with just 15 minutes of non-sex. The different storylines never develop, so there’s no conclusion to anything that’s discussed.

WW, like all of Axel’s comic parodies has great costumes, and some of the most talented performers, all capable of being equally good at the non-sex and sexual parts of a porn feature. It’s unfortunate the script is like something that was quickly scribbled onto napkins, then typed up once for the cast to yawn over, I mean read, smile and say “it’s so good,” when there’s no way they mean it.

It begins promisingly with Wonder Woman (Kimberly Kane, looking terrific) thwarting a theft in an embassy by Angle Man and his useless henchmen. She questions him about a triangle-shaped object he was carrying while tied up in her lasso, but to her surprise, he vanishes before saying much.

Later.

We see Lois Lane (Kirsten Price) waiting at a gas station, at night. Why this place? They don’t say. She was expecting Superman, but when WW shows up in his place, Lois is more perturbed than a lady at KFC that’s been told they’re out of crispy. Her arrival is a favor for Superman, that couldn’t come because he’s somewhere in Africa. (Sightseeing? Booty call? Feeding starving kids? We’re not told.)

“I won’t give up¬†Clark without a fight,” an¬†angry¬†Lois¬†tells¬†WW. “There is no Clark, Clark¬†is a lie!”¬†This news just¬†makes Lois¬†bitchier by the minute, so she¬†continues on¬†with her¬†silly, jealous¬†bluster, but WW is unfazed and tells her “He’s made his choice!”

After that nonsense.

WW visits Doctor Fate (Eric Masterson) for answers about the triangle. After studying it, he’s only able to her “it’s heavy.” Useless! When WW leaves, he bangs this chick Maddy (Claire Robbins).

It’s the¬†sexual highlight¬†for me, filled with enthusiasm and more bare skin than some other scenes.

Sometime after that.

Killer Frost (Ash Hollywood) meets with Angle Man to discuss the botched embassy heist. They talk about WW for a minute or two, before screwing. Not long after he shoots his warm load on her, she freezes him out of existence. (The only funny moment!)

Later in the Batcave.

An¬†injured¬†Bruce Wayne studies the triangle, while WW reminisces with¬†Batgirl (Penny Pax) about their odd outdoor threesome with Ares (Evan Stone). (This scene could’ve been exceptional, but the Vaseline¬†smeared on the lens is distracting and the costumes stay¬†on, so we never see their boobs. Boo!)

Afterwards.

Lois sits down to interview Cheetah (Melody Jordan), under the pretense of wanting to write a story about her, now that she’s received a pardon from President Lex Luthor. Cheetah knows Lois is full of shit and wants the truth.

They¬†discuss a¬†plan¬†about their mutual enemy¬†WW, then the¬†frisky feline and bitchy reporter¬†proceed to give¬†each other a tongue-bath. (Cheetah’s¬†silly looking¬†costume stays on, so we never see¬†her boobs. Boo!)

Elsewhere.

Superman (Ryan Driller) and WW heat up the Fortress of Solitude. (The boobs stay covered again. Damn you, Axel!)

After sex.

These heroes aren’t into cuddling, so they go outside to talk in the cold. (You’ll have that puzzled look too!)

After a few minutes of dull banter,¬†an¬†unseen force¬†begins to¬†control Superman’s mind. WTF?¬†WW prepares to defend herself,¬†and it¬†ends abruptly. Boo!¬†Hiss!¬†

Rating  out
 
Bonus BTS:
Ho-stess’s PS- Fun Fact: I was originally cast as Wondy in this, but got booted due to… “porn politics”. It was super devastating to me at the time, and was the final straw that broke the “Taking a Hiatus” camel’s back. Now years later, I’m super glad things worked out the way they did. (Though you can still eXXXpect some naughty Wondy¬†work from me in the future. ūüėČ xoxo)

#WetWednesday: The Swimming Pool Edition, Part 4

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Happy Hump Day, Ho-mies! ūüôā xoxo)

Featuring: Raquel Welch, Erika Jordan, Jacqui Holland & Miley Cyrus.

Lady in Cement (1968)

During an ocean dive, Miami gumshoe Tony Rome finds a woman’s body with its feet encased in a concrete block and sets-out to solve the murder case.

Bikini Avengers (2015)

[aka Bikini Super Heroes]

When the Jade Empress hatches a plan for world domination, it’s up to crime-fighting duo Bikini Avenger and Thong Girl to stop her and her nefarious minions.

We Can’t Stop (2013)


Ho-stess’s PS#WaybackWednesday ūüėČ xoxo