American Horror Toy Story: The “Comic Con Job” Edition

Welcome back, pop-cultured creatures! Comic Con once again brought us some Fang-tastically freaky fright toys, so we’ve gathered up the ones that have us screamin’ the most! As far as we know, none of these toys are possessed with the spirit of a killer… I guess nothing’s perfect. 😉

Here are Comic Con’s most terror-ific toys!

NECA brings the most Horror with frightening new toys for Evil Dead, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Child’s Play, Gremlins, and Friday the 13th! 🙂 Toyark

Behold the many, many new Super-Goodies from DC! Nerdist

Guillermo del Toro’s fantastical films get some fantastical figures. 🙂 Bleeding Cool

Great Balls of Terror! Mondoids are a scream! 🙂 Bloody Disgusting

Who ya gonna call? THE NINJA BUSTERS!! 🙂 io9

Evil Dead‘s Ash and Hellraiser‘s Pinhead are getting the Kotobukiya Bishoujo treatment. 🙂 Crunchyroll


Game over, Man… these Alien vs. Predator Arcade Game Figures are amazing! 🙂 Scified

Coraline, ParaNorman, and other LAIKA favorites will be given some sweet new toys from NECA. 🙂 ScienceFiction

#TBT: The “Gremlinbusters” Edition

On this day in 1984, two of the most important films of all time were unleashed upon the unsuspecting masses…

Yes indeed, 1984 really hit the “G” spot with Gremlins and Ghostbusters! These two ho-rror comedies are among the most beloved fright funnies in all of ho-rror, and the fact that they were released on the same day is nothing short of a miracle! How is this not a federal holiday??! Sure, social media is on fire with “Ghostbusters Day” posts, but it’s not the same and it eXXXcludes the undeniable awesome that is Gremlins.

In ho-nor of these two masterpieces of ho-rror, we’re giving you a double dose of monster movie magic! At the bottom of this post, we’ve provided two behind-the-scream videos, one for each film. Both of ’em are loaded with ’80s goodness and eXXXcellent nostalgia. The Ghostbusters one gets eXXXtra points for its overwhelming seXXXiness… yes, dear kreeps, it features a generous dose of young Rick Moranis! Mercy! I do believe I’m getting the vapors! 😉

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Happy Birthday, Ghostbusters and Gremlins…We love you forever!! xoxo 🙂

#FlashbackFriday: The “G2, People” Edition

Ho-wdy, Kinky Ho-mies! Jordan Peele just made the transition from side-splitting to bone-chilling today with the release of Get Out, a film that currently has a shocking 100% on Rotten Tomatoes! That’s insane for any directorial debut, especially a HORROR directorial debut! Go Peele… and Horror! 🙂 In ho-nor of Mr. Peele’s scary success, we thought we’d dig up a Key & Peele skit that plays with a classic ho-rror comedy…

I think most of us can agree that Gremlins 2: The New Batch is an awesomely batshit insane eXXXcercise in eXXXcess, but how did it get that way? Key & Peele have the answer in the form Star Magic Jackson, Jr (Jordan Peele), a “Hollywood sequel doctor” sent by the studio to, in his own words, ” oversee things when they ’bout to drop a deuce.” Star takes over and encourages the writers to come up with the most ridiculous Gremlin they can think of. From here, we have an eXXXtremely Hell-arious bit that is funny… because every insane detail mentioned is in the actual movie! Oh, Gremlins 2… you’re completely bonkers! 🙂

Director Joe Dante confirmed the authenticity of the skit on Twitter. 😉

Check out the Mogwai Madness below! 🙂

 

News Bleed: The First of the FEAR Edition

Happy New Fear, Kinky Ho-bots of the Future…Welcum!!! 😉 It’s my pleasure to guide you through some of the goings on in this glorious New World we like to call:

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First, the bummer stuff… 🙁

Thank you, Mr Kosana. 🙁 xoxo comicbook

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But we don’t like to wallow in our collective sadness here in Futureville, so on to the spooky-cool! 🙂

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Looking gruesome, It! 🙂 Entertainment Weekly

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In #HellYes news, here’s a wet dream cum true for Pumpkinhead fans…I’m ordering eight(een;))!!!  🙂  Dread Central

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Godzilla destroys Universal Studios Japan! (Giving me more than ample reason to go back there ASAP!! ;)) Inside the Magic
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Madballs have risen from the grave! 🙂 Bloody Disgusting

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A Gremlins 3 update from Billy himself. 🙂 Flickering Myth

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Jason Mewes goes psycho! 🙂 Joblo

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As you can see…

the_future_is_awesome_by_burning_noodlesHappy New Fear, Kinky Ho-mies…Let’s start kicking 2017’s arse together, shall we? xoxoxo

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Please Don’t Grinch on the Gremlins.

(Submitted by Brand Spankin’ New KH Kontributor, Christoper Bacon. If you’re awesome, you already know Mister Bacon’s work from Strange Kids Club, which I’m a huge fan of!! So happy to have you on the KH Team, Mr. B! 🙂 xoxo)

Please Don’t Grinch on the Gremlins. (by Mister Bacon)

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Between the months of October, to now here in December , I tend to compulsively obsess over holiday specials and viewing pleasures that touch on whatever the current holiday happening is. While generally October steals the show for such things for this here writer, the Yuletide season is capable of packing its own share of dark delicacies. There are a good showing of these to choose from when it comes to adding some macabre to your merriness, however, I simply just want to touch on my favorite seasonal scary flick: Gremlins. I’m assuming majority of you readers have seen this gem by now , so I’ll do a simple plot breakdown before getting to some lesser known stuff.

Gremlins, released on June 8 1984 , is an absolutely wonderful Christmas time movie for those whom walk the stranger side of a sidewalk. The film doesn’t take long to set us up for whats to come with some fast and simple foreshadowing. Rand Peltzer , an inventor of some of the most faulty household items , is in Chinatown looking for a unique gift to obtain his son , Billy , for Christmas. Rand enters an antique shop and begins browsing over the wares of Mr. Wing’s shop. He comes across a small covered kennel that a hummed tune is coming from. He instantly wants what Mr. Wing calls a ” mogwai “. Mr. Wing refuses , stating that the responsibilities that come with keeping a mogwai are to much and that he is by no means for sale. Well , thankfully for this story , Mister Wing has a shit head of a grandson that sells Rand the mogwai to Rand without his knowing. The kid isn’t a total shit however , he does give Rand the breakdown of the 3 rules he must adhere to for keeping a mogwai. NO SUNLIGHT , NO FOOD AFTER MIDNIGHT AND DON’T GET IT WET! (That last one’s not something we usually condone here at KH, btw… 😉 -D.P.)

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By the time Rand gets home to his wife and Billy , he’s already taken the liberty of naming his son’s new pet , Gizmo. I know , pretty cliche and generic for an inventor but on the other side of the coin , I can’t imagine that lil fluffy fucker named anything else. He gives Billy the breakdown of the rules , and Billy and Gizmo bond instantly. One night , Billy’s friend , Pete , was over to ogle in awe at this cute cuddly creature only to inadvertently spill a glass of water on him. DON’T GET IT WET! (“Grrrrrr!!” ;)) Five little fur-balls bounce out of poor little Gizmo and those guys become all new mogwais.

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This fearsome five goes onto create more than just a little humbug for everyone in Billy’s town this Christmas. Out of this 5 , there was one rather intelligent guy of that bunch and he was easily identifiable by his radder than all get out mo-hawk , and thus for looking so cool he got his own cool name of Stripe. Stripe manages to trick Billy into feeding them after midnight by adjusting his clock , and those cute little guys go into a metamorphoses that turns them into some butt ugly green crusties that we’ve all come to know as , Gremlins.

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These guys are ruthless and out to just set everything into complete anarchy. Stripes entire posse bites a big one , but , Stripe not wanting to play alone takes it upon himself to just jump into the pool at the local YMCA to amass himself an army. These guys trash the entire town and it’s left to Billy and his girlfriend Kate (played by the lovely Phoebe Cates , thank you for your wonderful bikini drop scene in Fast Times at Ridgemont High ) to save the town and Christmas. In doing so , they notice the town had a moment of quietness fall over it. The murderous , crazed creatures of X-Mas Ass decided they needed to take a bit of a break and pack themselves into a theater to watch Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. With Stripes army all in on place they just set the place ablaze. All perish again , with the exception of that bad ass Stripe.

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Billy eventually chases our main antagonist down to a department store where the final battle goes down , and ends with Gizmo driving in on a remote control car to launch himself and open the windows to let the sunlight in , to finally end Stripe as he melts away in a rather horrific manner. YAY! CHRISTMAS SAVED!

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Mr. Wing arrives and tells Billy and his family that there basically a bunch of irresponsible ass hats , but , maybe one day Billy may be responsible enough to take on the mogwai once again.

As I stated in the very beginning of this post , the movie came out in the summer time. It was originally slated for a seasonal release , however , Warner Brothers felt they needed to release it alongside Columbia Picture’s summer blockbuster that also dropped that year , Ghostbusters. It was a successful notion as well. While never topping Ghostbusters , it did fall number 2 behind it , and with that came a ton of marketing. Marketing directed towards children.There were action figures , plush toys , trading cards , Atari games and even a breakfast cereal. However , this was in 1984 and the movie carried a PG-13 rating due to some scenes of heavy violence. Like , Gremlins straight up murdered shit , but , hey , that’s a more than good enough reason in my book to get a knock off Cap’n Crunch style cereal. Like everything loved , it did get some backlash. The violence portrayed in the film didn’t sit well with parents at all due to the super kid friendly marketing. Hell , my first lunchbox was a Tin Gremlins lunchbox with Gizmo driving that RC car I mentioned. However , this Holiday comedy horror mashup weathered the storm and is still loved by many today.

Now , here is a few extra stocking stuffers for you guys to boost your Gremlin knowledge!

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– A lot of people are already aware of the fact that Howie Mandel voiced the few speaking lines Gizmo had. Not a lot of people know that Stripe was voiced Frank Welker , more recognized for his work voicing Fred on Scooby Doo. The other Gremlins were all voiced by Michael Winslow , you know , that dude that can make any sound from Police Academy

– Pete was Billy’s friend , who was played by Corey Feldman. Corey Feldman also played in another film produced by Spieldberg , titled Goonies. One of Corey’s friends in Goonies , named Chunk , is a bit like the boy who cried wolf and an officer goes to blow him off , dismissing any of his claims by reciting “Just like that last prank about all those little creatures that multiply when you throw them in water. ”

– In the novelization of the movie , there is a bit of an origin story laid out on where the mogwais come from. They were made by an alien scientist on another world , but the mogwai physiology wasn’t stable and the end result was only 1 out of every 10,000 mogwai would be passive , loving creatures. The book also states , that even though Gizmo was this jackpot mogwai , if he were to eat after midnight he to would become a grouchy mean ol’ Gremlin.

-The word mogwai is an actual word in Cantonese. It means Devil or Demon.

– My favorite factoid on this film: There is a scene where Rand is at an inventors convention on a payphone. In the background you can see a structure , its the time machine used in the 1960 film The Time Machine. Well , it starts to fire up and then POOF , its gone with a few onlookers trying to figure out what just happened. All in the background. Also , Robbie the Robot from 1956’s The Forbidden Planet is seen using a pay phone.

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Ho-stess’s PS– XXX-tra thanks for tagging the pics you sent, Mister Bacon. You’re making us look all pro and shit! 😉

Ho-stess’s PPS– Because Phoebe Cates. <333333

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It’s Krampus Time, Kiddies!!!!!!!!!

As hard as it might be to believe, I’m already in full-on Ho-rrorday mode. 🙂

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I realized today that basically from Oct. 1-Jan. 2 there are about two weeks total where I’m “normal” (for me, at least ;)). The rest of the time I’m either Halloween-ing, Thanksgiving-ing, or Christmas-ing it up (or some various combination of those three ;)).

So, I’m gonna get the (relatively ;)) (para)normal stuff out of the way right now, so I can start fully embracing this also-awesome time of year!! Don’t think that means I’m any less of a Ho-rror Ho-Ho-Ho, though, fiends…It just means 99% of my Ho-rror viewing right now has an eXXXtra festive twist!! ;).

The first order of non-Ho-rrorday biz is submitting  my belated #MMM & #MMM for this week. Truth be told, I was sincerely quite bummed out by the Walking Dead mid-season finale, and since we FINALLY had a few rainy days here in Hell-A (yay!!! :)), I used a lot of my time over the past few days re-visiting the Telltale Walking Dead video games. I don’t want to post spoilers (even though the first game is waaaay old now and you should’ve played it 12x’s by now ;)), so I’ll just post some pics of the Man Meat from the TWD universe that gets me all hot and juicy. (That whole sentence takes on a different meaning when you think of it in Walking Dead terms, btw… ;))

Of course there’s Darryl Motherfuckin’ Dixon, but the world shares my appreciation for his Manly Meatiness, so I think I’ll skip over the AMC Adonises this time and dive right into the Telltale Tasties. After all, those #MMMs are the ones that are really gettin’ me revved up right now. (There’s nothing weird about that, is there…? Whatever. If loving video game characters is wrong, I don’t wanna be right!! ;))

First up: Lusty Lee, from Season 1.

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He pretty much owns my world in the original game, but since he’s such a major character, I really can’t say much about him without divulging spoilers. (Seriously, though…Go play it already if you’re that worried about finding out what happens!! ;)) So, I’ll just simply say that LEE. IS. AWESOME!!!!!!!!! <3333333333

Check out just one minor, minor eXXXample of his eXXXtreme badassery:

This scene is so beautiful to me, and just one of the gajillion magic Lee moments in the game. Turns out the guy that voices him is pretty #MMM-worthy, too. 🙂

In the second game, Lee’s not around too much. *sadness* There are a few #MMMs who collectively come close to matching Lee’s Man Meat, but none of them are really swingin’ what he’s swingin’ in Season One. Some of their storylines made me very, very eXXXcited (if ya know what I mean… ;)), and others made me sad/angry/stressed/worried, but any character that has the power to stir all those emotions is definitely #MMM-worthy in my book. So, I give you this loving look at the TellTale Talent from the newst TWD game. 🙂

Luke…The love of my Season 2 life. <3

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(*le sigh* :))

Other Season 2 SeXXXpots include:

Nick:

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Mike:

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Matthew:

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and, reluctantly, Arvo:

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(Clearly there’s no denying Arvo’s #MMM-factor, especially with that seXXXy accent, but he’s a douchebag in disguise. Trust me on that one… ;))

There are actually many more #MMM-worthy dudes (#WCW-worthy ladies :)) in Season 2, but I’m still butt hurt (in a bad way ;)) from my last ending, so I don’t feel like acknowledging anyone else right now. If you’re wondering whether or not these games are worth your time, though, the answer is a definitive YESSSSSSSSSSSS x’s 1000!!!!!!! 🙂

In other news, there’s been a lot of unfortunate news concerning Scott Stapp of Creed over the past week or so. This is the dude that once upon a time gave us kickass soundtracks to Halloween H20 and Scream 3, though, so let’s give the man a break and hope he gets his shizzle together again soon. In the meantime, we’ll always have these to remind us of the good slightly less Ho-rrible times. 😉

(I will defend that song AND that movie ’til the zombified cow carcusses come home…Both of ’em are amongst my all-time faves! :))

(Scream 3, on the other hand, was a HUGE disappointment…HUGE!!!!!!! But I danced onstage to, like, half the songs on this album when it first came out, so at least the soundtack -Executive Produced by Creed, btw- stayed on par with the kickass legacy of the first two installments.)

And let’s not forget Mr. Stapp was also kind enough to bless the world with his no-sex “Sex Tape”, and that alone makes him awesome by Kinky standards. 😉

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(Shout out to meh Redlight peeps…WOOT! ;))

Since I’m already shouting, I wanna send out a few more “WOOT!!!!”s to the good folks over at Waxwork Records, HorrorBlock, and Fright Rags for their forever awesomeness. I returned from my Thankskilling vacay this week to find these beauties waiting for me, which is always a lovely Ho-rrible way to be welcomed home. 😉



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I recommend checking out/showing your undying love to these sites for their eternal awesomeness, if you haven’t already. They’ve all got some especially rad stuff going on right now for the Ho-rrordays; check out this epic Silent Night, Deadly Night bundle from FR, for eXXXample…You best believe I’m gonna be up bright and early Tuesday AM to make sure this torrid treasure ends up at my place!!

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That Linnea Quigly ornament is seriously to die for!!! 🙂 <3

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And, finally, since it is Wednesday, I might as well through out some #WCW badness for ya. 🙂 The object of my desire this week is Mrs. Peltzer from Gremlins.

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I feel like she’s vastly underappreciated in Gremlins-dom. Think about it: In her brief time on screen she made some lovely noms (including Gingerdead men…YUM!!! :)), kicked major Gremlin ass, and gave us all a tasteful booty shot…The lady is an unsung goddess in my eyes!! 🙂 <3

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(Look at Mr. Gremlin sneakin’ a peek of #datass…Homie knows what’s up!! ;))

Check out my #WCW’s Ripley-esque kitchen skillz: (This was always one of the freakiest parts of the movie to me!! :))

(Way to give ’em what-for and cement your place in #WCW history, Mrs. P!! <3333333333)

Since I’m already talkin’ Gremlins, I don’t think there’s a more appropriate Mad Monster to mention this week than these creepy lil’ #MMMs. Let the angelic singing of Spike and the gang fill your (black) hearts with Christmas cheer, because from this point on it’s all about Krampus season for me, Kinky Ho-rrorday Ho-s!!! 😉 xoxoxo