(Submitted by Mr. Andrew Peters…Thanks, Goon-bot!! 🙂 xoxo)
There’s nothing more sad to see a whole franchise crash and burn with a single miscalculation. Well, let me rephrase that, because miscalculation makes it sound like this film was planned for greatness. What’s the word I’m looking for? Fuckery? Yeah, let’s go with fuckery. I choose the word fuckery, because the studio stepped in and shit all over ideas and let the director, the great Fred Dekker, drown in it and killed the franchise until they finally remade it, which cemented its coffin in the ground for good. How did the Robocop franchise die out? I mean, what the hell happened and how could such a great character be treated so disrespectfully? The first film was so revolutionary for sci-fi and action and created one of the most memorable characters and even though the second film didn’t capture the same kind of magic, it still gave us a very entertaining comic book-esque film and remained true to the series. Robocop 3, however, is the watered down, kid friendly, dull sequel nobody was happy with.
I don’t blame director Fred Dekker, I don’t think most people do. I think by now we all know he was a hired gun, excited to work on a Robocop flick using some of Frank Miller’s rejected script ideas from the second film. Robot Ninjas? Sounds like that’s going to be really cool. There are some good ideas here, like with OCP lying to the media about destroying homes to make way for the new Delta City and the people’s uprising to take it back. It feels like the series has been building up to this, but how it gets there isn’t how we wanted it as fans.
Leave it to any studio to step into a multimillion dollar franchise and say, “how can we make MORE money?” Realizing that their audience was primarily young adults and teens, they decided to water down the film, strip it from all the subtle social satire, remove all blood and a good majority of violence to sell more tickets… even though the majority of their younger audience was already seeing the movies. Oh, and we have to add a kid that’s super good at hacking, because that’s relatable to today’s youth and let’s give Robocop a jetpack and an arm mounted machine gun, because we need to sell toys. Needless to say, the end product was not very good, nobody was happy, Orion went bankrupt, poor Fred Dekker was thrown under the bus and the franchise was dead and buried until they would decide to dig it up and defile its corpse in 2014 for the remake.
Detroit has gone to hell, citizens are being bullied out of their home and to relocation camps, which the media is seeing as a friendly gesture, but in reality these folks are being forced from their homes and families are being separated, like Nikko. She’s obsessed with Robocop and others, like ED-209 and seems to be a cliched, smart, tech savvy little lady. At the beginning, she’s stripped from her family by OCP’s armed force, the Urban Rehabilitators (which kinda sounds like a terrible ‘90s rap group) that is also called Rehab, led by the nasty and British McDaggett. Yeah, that combination sounds real trust worthy. She’s sad for about a minute, maybe a minute and a half, until she’s found by a resistance group, led by a woman named Bertha. Bertha is actually based off a Frank Miller character called Martha Washington from his Give Me Liberty comic book. She’s a cliched version of a tough and well organized, militant woman and I say cliched, because it comes off as disingenuous to actual strong women and not only that, but her plans… well, they suck and are terrible and I’m not surprised they get lots of people killed. Upon connecting with her group, Nikko immediately forgets about her parents and helps hack an ED-209 so the group can steal some weapons from a police arsenal. It’s honestly so stupid that it hurts to watch that scene. She just walks up to an ED-209, a machine known for malfunctioning and blowing the everliving shit out of people, hacks into its ankle and then gives a shoulder shrug and a shit eating grin. I was expecting some cartoon trombones to play.
But suddenly, a police car with tinted windows is hot on their tail? Do you think the only person we can’t see could be… Robocop? First of all, why are they keeping him a secret and secondly, how come Robocop is the only guy on the force to get tinted windows? Another pressing matter I should bring up is that because of his commitment to Naked Lunch, Peter Weller was replaced by Robert John Burke. Don’t get me wrong, Burke is a terrific actor, but he seems lifeless and stiff as Robocop, almost more… cyborg. I know that sounds weird, but he lacks the regained emotion that Peter Weller brought to Robo. Doesn’t matter, as Robo gives up his pursuit to help out his partner Anne Lewis (Nancy Allen) who crashed into James Lorinz from Frankenhooker while in pursuit. James Lorinz steals the show for a moment, doing his lovable and somewhat mildly insults in his Jersey accent. Unfortunately for him, they realize they are in gang territory and shoot blindly into the dark as most cops are trained to do. Just when they are about to be attacked, Robocop drives off the roof of a building and upon landing, blasts at the gang with his new arm mounted machine gun so the kids can scream, “I WANT THAT TOY!”
OCP now wants Robocop’s emotions wiped (I think or I’m getting confused) and put on the rehabilitation squad, but a turn of unfortunate events would have him do otherwise. In an attempt to get out of the movie, Nancy Allen is shot and killed by McDaggett while her and Murphy are protecting some citizens in a church that the Rehabs are trying to relocate. It’s a weak and relatively unfaithful departure for the character of Anne Lewis, but there are far more problems in the film than this and I’m sure Nancy Allen didn’t care. Robocop takes a grenade to the chest that pretty much lays him out for a good chunk of the film. Yes, the same Robocop that has battled other robots several sizes bigger than him, taken tons of bullets, run over and was even previously set on fire is now completely phased by a shot to the chest. It’s all for the sake of the plot so we can spend time with the human characters, but you’ll soon see just how boring Robocop 3 actually is. It’s not that the characters are unlikable, they are just really uninteresting and it’s hard to care what they are up to, so I’ll just sum up the middle part of the film; they get the doctor who cares for Robocop to fix him up and she realizes that when the resistance robbed the police armory, they stole Robocop’s jetpack, so now he has that.
But Murphy’s (that’s Robocop in case you forgot), got a promise to keep to his old partner. He sets his sights after McDaggett with intention of taking him down. Dead or alive! Well, since this is super neutered PG-13, probably attempt to take him in alive. However, OCP’s parent company, the Kanemitsu Corporation, has sent cyborg ninjas to make sure that Robocop and the resistance are taken care of, so that way OCP stocks won’t plummet and they won’t go bankrupt. Isn’t that an exciting plot for kids? It does lead up to a kinda cool fight scene between Robo and the cyborg ninja, but it could have been a lot more better had the action hadn’t been toned down. It’s also very short, but after it’s done, it’s time for the cops versus OCP in the battle for Detroit! I know, sounds exciting, but trust me… it isn’t. It’s very lackluster and the action equivalent of a tiny, wet fart that you’d barely notice.
Well, what can you say about Robocop 3 that people don’t already know? It’s a goddamn shame. That’s all I can think of when I think of this movie. It’s a shame about what happened to director Fred Dekker (who is an extremely talented man) and it’s a shame that this is the movie we got, because the studio wanted to make more money. Well, they didn’t and they didn’t deserve to for this, but then again, we didn’t deserve this money and Robocop didn’t deserve to go out on this note, dammit. I know, technically he didn’t, he went out on a worse note with the remake, which actually makes Robocop 3 seem not nearly as bad in comparison. I will say that the effects and music in the this film are still quite fantastic, as is the sound design. At least those staples of franchise were kept intact, but everything else from the acting, the characters and most of all, the plot, are all very bad. I know when we talk about films being bad, people think that there must be something funny or entertaining about them, because they are bad. I wish that were always the case, but it rarely is. Some films are just bad.
In any case, Scream Factory brought you Robocop 2, so they are also bringing you Robocop 3, which surprisingly (or not surprisingly) is not presented in a new 2K transfer. There is, however, quite a few new bonus features that deal with the making of the film, interviews with the cast and crew and so on, as well as trailers and such. You know, your usual Scream bonuses.
I can’t recommend Robocop 3 to fans of sci-fi or action film. Hell it’s hard enough to recommend it to even the most die hard Robocop fans. It’s not the worst film or the worst sequel out there, but it’s not a good movie and there’s very little entertainment to be found in it.