Scary Shorties: Swamp Thing – The Un-Men Unleashed

Ho-wdy, ho-rror ho-mies! It’s another Supernatural Saturday morning here in Horrorwood, so we got cartoon chiller to make your heart sing! See that figure lurching about the bog? The tall gentleman with the green thumb and the mossy hair? No, my freaky friend… that ain’t swamp gas. It’s…
That’s right, Kinky Kreeps! Ol’ Tall, Green, and Gruesome got his very scare-toon that aired from 1990 to 1991. Sure, it didn’t last long, but each episode is a slice of aged cheese that’s rich with all the radical ’90s flavor you krave.

Like Troma’s Toxic Crusaders, the Swamp Thing cartoon took a classic creature and Captain Planet-ed him up in a big, bad way! I  LOOOOOOVVVE super important environmental messages in cartoons, and this one certainly had one! Sure, like all programs of this nature (Ha!), Swamp Thing’s message probably wasn’t all that sincere… but these ‘toons always worked on me as a kid!  If Swamp Thing gives a hoot, than so do, muthafuckasI! 🙂

Despite only lasting 5 episodes, there was a plethora of glorious Swamp Thing mechandise swamping the shelves. This included a paint-by-number kit, a board game, T-shirts, children’s slippers, a bop bag, pencil sharpeners, and…wait for it… chalk! The line also had some kickass playsets that let you spread Swamp Thing’s message of environmental preservation… with violence! Check out these sweetazz commercials:

For your Saturday morning pleasure, we have the first episode of this swamp-tastic show! It’s exactly the kind of thing you should be watching with a bowl of Boo Berry and some monster pajamas. So, sit back and get swamped with Swamp Thing!

Like your wackily wonderful Wild Thing parody opening theme states, Swamp Thing… you are AMAZING! 🙂

Scary Shorties: Mickey’s Mechanical Man (1933)

Before Richard Matheson brought a robot into the ring and Toho had one rough up an ape, Disney gave us both of those wonderful things in 1933’s Mickey’s Mechanical Man, a knockabout cartoon caper that pits machine against beast. The short is about Mickey Mouse training a robot to fight an ape in a boxing match and… do I need to say anything else!? I mean, that’s pure monster movie magic as it is! Disney has produced more sophisticated shorts, but who needs sophistication when you have beastly brutes monster-mashing each other in glorious black-and-white?!

Mickey’s Mechanical Man is a fairly one-note short, but it plays that note so magnificently! There are gags aplenty and enough machine-on-monster action to satisfy  all you creature-craving crazies out there. Mickey and Minnie are always welcome, and the ape is as perfectly monstrous as one could hope for. As for the animation, it’s fluid, lively, and… well, Disney!
While there’s much to love about this ‘toon, the highlight is the tit-ular Mechanical Man. I’m a sucker for vintage/retro robots, and this affable automaton certainly fits the bill. Every bit of animation for the ro-boxer is brilliantly herky-jerky. The spasmodic, robotic pugilist moves like a wind-up toy with very little use for physics. It’s this kind of character and animation that make these cartoons such a blast to watch! Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto!

Check out the Battle of the Century below:


Scary Shorties: Minnie the Moocher (1932)

Hi-de-hi-de-hi, Cartoon Creeps! Today’s Terror Toon is a real swingin’ wake from the cats at Fleischer Studios and the Hi-De-Ho Man himself, Mr. Cab Calloway! The short is Minnie the Moocher and it’s a trip! And when I say “trip,” I sure-as-heck mean it!
Released in 1932 by the aforementioned Fleischer Studios, MInnie the Moocher represents everything Fleischer was and everything Disney wasn’t, Disney made (for the most part) safe, friendly cartoons for good little boys and girls. However, Fleischer’s toons were aimed at rowdy adults with a taste for the weird. Fleischer Studios was basically a dollop of Dali for animation admirers.
Minnie the Moocher is the quintessential example of that Fleischer surrealism. A rotoscoped Cab Calloway ghost walrus(!) leads the ever-popular Betty Boop and Bimbo through a nightmare world inhabited by inebriated skeletons, death row inmates in spectral form, and grotesqueries with little use for logic and physics.  It seems like a drug-fueled nightmare, and it very well could be! You see, Minnie the Moocher is named for the Calloway song that plays throughout the short… and it is unquestionably about drugs! The word “cokey” in the song means exactly what you think it does and “kicking the gong around” here refers to smoking opium, although it was later applied to smoking marijuana.

This short was one of three shorts Fleischer Studios made with Cab Calloway. While the other two (Snow White and The Old Man of the Mountain) are fantastic in their own right, they don’t have the same whacked-out magic of Minnie the Moocher. There really is no other cartoon of the era that is a masterfully wackadoo as this grand work of weird. Even as a ghost walrus, Cab Calloway is just the coolest cat around. Cab’s radness and the exquisite insanity of the whole thing make this one of the true clas-sicks of animation. 🙂

For a bit o’ Hi-De-Ho-rror delivered the Fleischer way, check out the short below:

Scary Shorties: Superman, The Mummy Strikes (1943)

Boils and ghouls, your attention please! Kinky Ho-rror presents an all-old cartoon program, featuring a thrilling adventure of an amazing and incredible personality. Faster than a speeding demon! More powerful than a loco maniac! Able to leap tall tombs at a single bound! Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bat! It’s a witch! No, it’s…
That’s right, boils and ghouls! We’re presenting a classic outing of the Man of Steel in glorious Technicolor! Of course, with our minds in the grave, we picked a short that’s a little on the fright side…
The Mummy Strikes (1943) is the fourteenth of seventeen Fleischer Studios/Famous Studios Superman shorts, but it almost feels like a condensed Universal horror film. There’s a dead Egyptologist. an assistant accused of murder, a terrible curse, and two very unfriendly mummies. The two mummies are actually rather unnerving for a superhero short. It may be rather silly to admit, but this scene still gives me the willies…
I mean, it ain’t Boris Karloff driving a man insane in The Mummy (1932), but that’s still one heck of a resurrection!
This short isn’t as heavy on the superheroics as the other 16 shorts, but it’s got ominous atmosphere in spades. It’s creepy, it’s thrilling, and it has the Big Blue Boy Scout  roughing up some ancient abominations. I’d say there are worse things to get WRAPPED up in on a Saturday Morning!
Hey, if you think that’s a groaner, this short ends on the most wonderfully ho-rrible pun imaginable. It’s a play on a line from Blues in the Night, and I can’t imagine a better way to end a mummy story!
For thrills, chills, mummies, heroes, and puns, click on the moving picture box below:

Have a Super Saturday, Kinky Ho-mies!! 🙂 xoxo

Scary Shorties: Hyde and Hare (1955)

In almost any given situation, Bugs Bunny is just about the smartest smartass in the room. He’s Groucho Marx in a world of Margaret Dumonts. Bugs would almost always beat the odds, no matter how the stacked the deck was. That Looney Toon was the underdog you just knew was going to come up on top. Yet despite his remarkable winning streak, there’s one ghoul he just couldn’t lick…
In 1955’s Hyde and Hare, Bugs Bunny was pitted against the most two-faced of all classic monsters… Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. In a rather unusual situation for the hilarious hare, Bugs is the victim here and remains so. Of all the monsters and madmen he’s encountered, Hyde was one he couldn’t do away with gags and pranks. There are no pies in the face or dynamite explosions… only a rabbit on the run from fiend. In a way, this makes this the closest thing to a true Looney Tunes horror film. Most of the action is Bugs trying to elude the mad monster. But as Bugs quickly discovers, there is nowhere to run and nowhere to Hyde…

The ending of this short is particularly fascinating. After having drank all of Dr. Jekyll’s infamous formula, Bugs turns into a hideously green monster. However, unlike the good doctor, Bugs Bunny’s personality remains intact! Dr. Jekyll has a hidden side and an inner evil that’s brought out by the potion.. but Bugs only changes physically. Bugs Bunny is, and always has been, a monster!
For a game of Hyde and Shriek, check out the cartoon below:

 

#TBT: The “Invader Zim Rises Again” Edition

Ho-wdy, fellow Earth Ho-mies! Cult favorite Invader Zim is coming back in a big, bad way!

No, it’s totally true! Invader Zim will invade again in a new 90-minute TV movie from creator Jhonen Vazquez!

From the Press Release from Nickelodeon:

“Invader Zim” Returns to Nickelodeon in All-New Original TV Movie Based On Fan-Favorite Animated Series

Creator Jhonen Vasquez Serves as Executive Producer, Original Voice Cast to Reprise Their Roles

Burbank, Calif.-April 4, 2017-Nickelodeon officially announced today the greenlight for an all-new, 90-minute Invader Zim TV movie from original creator Jhonen Vasquez, marking the network’s third animated property from its rich library of content to be reimagined for today’s audience. The 2D-animated TV movie, produced by Nickelodeon in Burbank, will show the latest and greatest ridiculous attempt at world domination by the universe’s worst alien invader ever. The movie will also feature original voices from the fan-favorite television series.

“As a network that prides itself on a 25-year history of creating groundbreaking, hilarious animation for kids, Invader Zim is one of our great loves. It’s been so exciting to see its popularity grow over the last decade through social media, consumer products and the Zim comic books,” said Chris Viscardi, SVP, Content Development and Production, Animation, Nickelodeon. “What makes this announcement extra thrilling is the adventure that Jhonen has created for Zim, and I can promise you that it is as wonderfully absurd and strangely heartfelt as any fan of the original series could hope for, and kids seeing it for the first time will love it too.”

The Invader Zim TV movie follows the perpetually desperate and delusional Zim as he creates a new and potentially Earth-destroying plan to finally get the attention he deserves from his Irken leaders, the Almighty Tallest.

Original voice cast members reprising their roles include: Richard Horvitz as Invader Zim; Rosearik Rikki Simons as GIR, Zim’s insane robot sidekick; Andy Berman as Dib Membrane, junior paranormal investigator and Zim’s alien-obsessed human nemesis; and Melissa Fahn as Gaz Membrane, Dib’s younger, video game obsessed sister. Additional casting will be announced in the coming months.

Invader Zim debuted on Nickelodeon in 2001 and chronicled the efforts of an extraterrestrial named Zim on a mission to conquer Earth and enslave the human race.”

I’M SO EXXXCITED!!! 🙂

To Ho-nor the return of this eXXXtraterrestrial black comedy, I’d like to take a look at a clas-sick episode of the series: Dark Harvest.

Dark Harvest is certainly dark. To make himself appear more human, Zim attempts to win the hearts and minds of the people… along with their kidneys, spleens, pancreata, and other precious organs! Yes. this an episode of a Nickelodeon show about harvesting the organs of children! I’m sure parents just loooovvvvvved this one! 😉

Clocking in at about 12 minutes, Dark Harvest is as gloriously twisted as any full-length “adult” horror film. Having gathered organs from nearly everyone in his “Skool,” Zim becomes so grotesquely bloated with the body parts that he can hardly contain himself… literally! The whole thing plays out like an animated nightmare concocted by David Cronenberg. If organ-snatching wasn’t horrible enough, there are creatures and organs floating in formaldehyde, a child’s skeleton, Running Man-like exploding collars, a spooky boiler room Freddy would adore, and a climax that recalls Alien. This demented bit o’ animation is the most depraved thing ever aimed at children… and I love it for that! 🙂

If you have the stomach for it, check out the biological insanity below:

Welcome back, Invader Zim! I’m gonna sing the Doom Song to celebrate! 🙂 xoxo

Scary Shorties: The Devil and Daniel Mouse

Ready for some FAUST and furious cartoon madness? Something with a little soul? Well, we’ve got a Hell of cartoon for you splendid sinners!

1978’s The Devil and Daniel Mouse is a rather strange take on the Faust legend. It concerns a struggling mouse singer who sells her soul for rock ‘n’ roll.  Personally, I’m a sucker for a good Faustian tale, so this one had my soul from the very start. The fact that it bares more than a few similarities to 1974’s Phantom of the Paradise just sweetens the deal. If you’re a ghoul like me, you’ll no doubt dig the sheer volume of creepy on display here. Satanic bargains, contracts signed in blood, and a truly devilish Devil… These are a few of my favorite things! This special is a proud product of the Satanic Seventies, complete with leisure suits, ‘fros, and KISS make-up. John Sebastian of The Lovin’ Spoonful wrote the songs and lended his voice, and making this spooky ’70s time capsule all the more boss.

Go ahead… watch the cartoon All you need to do is sign upon the dotted line… a drop of yours, a drop of mine… For the price of your soul, you can experience this creepy classic…

…Or you could just click on the box below:

If you’re in the mood for another deal, check out this behind-the-scenes video below:

#FBF: The “ToXXXic Tim” Edition

Ho-wdy, My Curry-craving creeps! As we all know, Tim “Wadsworth” Curry is just about the seXXXiest villian in… well, just about everything he’s in! That smooth baritone just makes every part eXXXtra hot… even when he’s playing sentient pollution! That’s right, ho-mies! Tim Curry played the bad guy (shocking!) in 1992’s FernGully: The Last Rainforest, which is basically like cartoon Avatar… except a gazillion times better! In the film, Curry gets to go full Frank N. Furter as he sings a seductive song… about polluting the world. Oh, Curry… only you could make being a Captain Planet villain seem cool! 🙂

That’s all well and good, but nothing beats seeing the man do his thang! if you need more Curry in your diet, check out Tim Curry recording the song below! Tim Curry, you’re totally toXXXic! 🙂

Side Note: These eXXXist, and I own them. (Thanks to Mr. DinosaurDracula and his awesome Fun Pack this month. :))