(Happy Mammorial Day, Kinky Ho-mies! No scary stuff today…War is scary enough, ya know? #deepthoughts Big hugs to Smutmaster Eric for contributing this festive ho-rrorday happiness…Enjoy the long -hehe ;)- weekend, Kinky Ho-bots! 🙂 xoxo)
Featuring: Pam Grier, Margaret Markov, Kristine DeBell, Nancy Dare, Terri Hall & Juliet Graham.
Black Mama, White Mama (1973)
Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy (1976)
Happy Beaster, you egg-cellent fright fans! As an Easter gift to all you perturbing Peeps out there, I thought I’d draw attention to a race of creatures capable of unfathomable terror… Bunnies! On this site, we often talk of ghouls, ghosts, madmen, creatures, demons, bugaboos, boogeymen, freaks, creeps, and just about everything that goes bump in the night… but it’s the Bunny you must fear above all. With teeth as sharp as daggers and eyes that are often as red as fresh blood, the Bunny hops along this earth with silent menace and a nose twitching like an unhinged lunatic. The worst of these creatures is The Easter Bunny: a being who barges into the homes of little ones, leaving… eggs. Why does he do this? Nobody really knows. Perhaps, when they hatch, they’ll unleash horrible, toothy beasts with taste for human flesh. Maybe that’s how he spies on you… each egg serving as his eyes. Whatever the reason, it must be nefarious. That is, after all, the nature of the Bunny. To celebrate the day, I have arranged a list of the most terrifying bunnies to ever haunt the screen. I must warn you, dear readers, that there will be intense bunny-based horror in the following videos and images. Now that you have been warned, we can hop right into the madness.
1.) The Hat Rabbit from Twilight Zone: The Movie
Our first beastly bunny makes the briefest of appearances, but leaves a heck of an impression. Appearing in Joe “Gremlins” Dante’s wonderfully cartoonish take the classic It’s a Good Life story, this featured creature turns Kevin “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” McCarthy’s simple hat trick into a feat of monstrous magical mayhem! Ta-Da!
2.) The Lepus from Night of the Lepus
This is film, coincidentally, has the same plot as my recurring nightmare: a group of giant, mutant rabbits ravage a small town and feast upon the innocent. To make things even more ghastly, the filmmakers used actually bunnies to portray the monsters! Janet Leigh stars as one of the humans hunted by the rabid rabbits. I hope they don’t make her go Psycho…
3.) The Easter Bunny from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey
Without a doubt, the most terrifying thing in a film that deals with Hell, Satan, and Death! In Hell, Ted is forced to face his “irrational” fear of The Easter Bunny. I always knew that The Bunny was in league with The Devil!
4.) January Q. Irontail from Here Comes Peter Cottontail
How could one resist a stop-motion bunny from Rankin-Bass and Vincent Price? Dressed to scare in frightful black, this Price-voiced fiend will stop at nothing to do Easter HIS way. Irontail’s Easter would include chocolate tarantulas, octopi, and Easter galoshes replacing the Easter bonnets. Where do I sign up for this Easter?
5.) The White Rabbit from JanSvankmajer’s Alice
Jan Svankmajer is certainly a stop-motion genius, but darn if he doesn’t know how to scare the stuffing out of us. Why, he does the same to his characters. In his take on Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, his White Rabbit is a taxidermy rabbit who is losing sawdust, which flows out of his stomach. When his stuffing falls out, he simply secures the whole in his chest with pins and eats the sawdust! I bet Walt Disney wishes he had come up with that quirk!
Honorable Mention: TheKiller Rabbit of Caerbannog from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
I excluded this big bad bunny from the main list because I wanted to spotlight lesser-known rabbit creeps. Most people are very familiar with this bad-tempered rodent. However, that doesn’t mean he isn’t a formidable fiend. I mean, he’s got a vicious streak a mile wide! He’s a killer! There’s much to fear about this fuzzy lil’ devil.