#FullFrontalFriday: The Casino, Cousins, Convent and Cross Edition

(aka the ‘C’ is for Cookie edition…#getit?? 😉 Big hugs to Smutmaster Eric for this pube-tastic post! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Kristen Wiig, Kate Winslet, Tiffany Shepis & Monique Parent

Welcome to Me (2015)

When Alice Klieg wins the Mega-Millions lottery, she immediately quits her psychiatric meds and buys her own talk show.

Jude (1996)

A stonemason steadfastly pursues a cousin he loves. However their love is troubled as he is married to a woman who tricked him into marriage and she is married to a man she does not love.

Nympha (2007)

 Sarah is a young American from New York City who travels to Italy to join the New Order convent as a cloister nun and to prepare for an arduous spiritual journey.

Blonde Heaven (1995)

 (aka Morgana)

A coven of vampires operates out of a modeling/escort agency known as Blonde Heaven. A young woman named Angie (Raelyn Saalman) arrives from Oklahoma to find her way into the movie business, followed by her boyfriend Kyle. Head vamp Illyana (Julie Strain) takes a liking to Angie and convinces her to do escort work for the agency, but has other recruiting plans for her as well.

Bonus Frontal w/ Trivia:

Michelle Bauer (circa 1986)


Began her film career in X-rated hardcore movies as “Pia Snow,” including the classic Café Flesh (1982), before moving into mainstream movies.

Amber Lynn (circa 1985)

 Became a hugely successful featured entertainer from her fame created through her work in adult films, earning up to $25,000 a week.

Ginger Lynn (1984)

Served a jail term related to tax-evasion, which was a case she insisted was politically motivated by anti-porn elements in the Ronald Reagan and George Bush “41” administrations.

Kaitlyn Ashley (the ’90s)

Author Jacob Held argued that Kaitlyn Ashley, along with Jill Kelly and Jenna Jameson is considered to be one of the most iconic adult stars of the 1990s.
Ho-stess’s PS– A #FullFrontalFlasback from lil’ ol’ me… 😉 Have a Happy Ho-rrorday weekend, Kinky Ho-mies!! 🙂 xoxoxo

Hidden Faces: The Masked Edition, Part 2

(Submitted by the Smuttiest Smutmaster in the known universe, Mr. Smutmaster Eric…Thanks so much, Kinky Ho-mie! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Michelle Pfeiffer, Sunny Lane, Aurora Snow, Phoenix Marie & Rosario Dawson

Batman Returns (1992)

Batman: The Animated Series, S2/Ep7 (1994)

Batgirl XXX: An Extreme Comixxx Parody (2012)

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014)

Bonus #1:

Rosario in great leaked selfies!

Bonus #2:

Kinky Klown from Outer Space

(Ha! I know that Klown!! 😉 xoxo -DP)

A Baby & Breakfast: The Mother’s Day Edition

(A special Ho-rrorday post brought to you by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, my festive friend! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Jordan Ladd, Janet Mason & Jason Brown

Grace (2009)

Pregnant Madeline Matheson (Jordan Ladd) is involved in a car accident. While in the hospital, she’s told that her unborn child is dead. Desperate after trying to have a child for years, she decides to carry the baby to term anyway. The child, a girl, initially appears stillborn. After a while starts living and Madeline names her Grace. It soon becomes clear something is wrong with the baby. It develops unhealthy smells, attracts flies, and craves blood.

 Stepmom Loves Morning Wood (2014)

Janet has been married to Larry for years, but her stepson still won’t listen to her! The busty MILF decides to make him listen the best way she knows how. She crawls down under the kitchen table while her husband reads the paper and starts sucking on Jason’s big cock until it’s rock hard. As soon as Larry leaves for work, she clears off the whole table so her horny stepson can fuck her.

Ho-stess’s PS-  Happy Mother’s Day from me, too! (Also from “Mommy Got Boobs”…What we won’t do for our kids, amirite? ;))

(Too purdy to censor… 😉 HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, KINKY HO-MIES! 🙂 xoxox)

Drivers and Passengers: The Vehicles Edition, Part 1

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Babette Bardot, Vanessa Ferlito, Jordan Ladd, Sydney Tamiia Poitier, Kurt Russell, Rose McGowan, Monica Staggs, Janet Leigh, Ali Corbin, Jason Biggs & Ted.

Mondo Topless (1964)


Death Proof (2007)

Psycho (1960)


American Reunion (2012)



Ted (2012)

Ho-stess’s PS- #TBT to that time I needed a ride ho-me from the airport… 😉

#SexOnSunday: The “We Are Groin” Edition

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…who, for the record, has a vastly different POV of the actual Guardians of the Galaxy than yours truly. It’s in my personal Top 3 comic movies, so I’m definitely going to be checking this parody out based on Eric’s glowing rec…Thanks, Kinky Ho-miebot! 🙂 xoxo)

Gnardians of the Galaxy (2015)

Running Length: 46 Mins.

Cast:

Aaron Wilcox as Pecker Quill / Star Load
Daisy Ducati as Gamwhora
Shane Diesel as Crax
April O’Neil as Rocket Raccooch
AJ as Groin

We meet Star Load in the process of stealing the “Infinity Bone” orb. After it’s in his possession, he’s interrupted by Kokrath (Tabitha Stevens) who wants it for herself. He gets by her and is next seen on a prison planet called “The Kum.” He joins forces with the other heroes and the sexy space adventure takes off!


Summation:

Gnardians is somewhat shorter than Guardians of the Galaxy, but overall more entertaining. The big budget hit didn’t have a marvelous moment and I couldn’t find an interesting trait between the five heroes. In the parody the dialogue is funnier and the characterizations a lot more enjoyable. I like the make-up, how the villain is defeated, the original theme song heard during the opening credits and its two sexual scenes are more exciting than watching numerous dull battle sequences.

Rating  out

Can be viewed for free on Woodrocket.com and is on the DVD Gnardians Of The Galaxy And Other Porn Parodies.

#TataTuesday: The Outdoor Nudity Edition, Part 5

(Submitted by our beloved Smutmaster, Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-miebot! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Kayden Kross, Sophie Dee, Ania Spiering, Kellie Cockrell & Monique Parent

The Hungover Games (2014)

 Blood Scarab (2008)


Bonus:

Diana the Vampire Slayer.

(LOL Aww…Thanks for including me, Smutmaster! 🙂 xoxo)

#SexOnSunday: The Big Winner Edition

(Submitted by our Master o’ Smut, Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie!!:) xoxo)

Feeling Lucky (2014)

A spunky young woman (Rilynn Rae) saddled with unemployment, financial problems and a poseur boyfriend wins the Powerball lottery. But with economic independence comes all kinds of shady characters looking for a handout – beware!

Supporting Players: Michael Vegas, India Summer, Claire Robbins, Seth Gamble, Mr. Pete and others.


Overview:

An amusing comedy about how becoming wealthy can improve your life and cause you problems, when people just want your $$$. Rilynn Rae is a charming protagonist that does a nice job handling an assortment of characters with good and bad intentions.

You won’t feel richer for watching it, but you can pretend you’re cumming onto a big cardboard check. Worked for me!

Rating  out

#WetWednesday: The April Showers Edition

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-meister! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Kirsten Dunst, Rutger Hauer, Chanel Preston & Bill Bailey.

Spider-Man (2002)

This is best wet T-shirt scene in a PG-13 movie!

Real Wife Stories Vol. 16 (2013)

Chanel’s Dirty Secrets (2012)

It starts with her looking directly into camera and telling us about her unfaithful wife fantasy.

In the scenario she’s driving on a dark and desolate road, being followed by another car. Her voice-over lets us know she’s busy a wife (or just absentminded) so she’s forgotten to put gas in it. Instead of staying inside, she gets out, then calls her husband. Unable to reach him, she leaves a message about going to look for a station.;

Blade Runner (1982)

Roy’s monologue is the greatest of all the moments in it!


Ho-stess’s PS- Here’s a shower snap I don’t believe I ever posted…

Undressed: The Locker Room Edition, Part 4

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks for letting us know about this Carrie parody. Definitely going to check I out…and maybe Karnal Kombat it? 😉 xoxox)

Featuring: Sarah Shevon & Annette O’Toole.

Orgy University (2013)

(A parody of Carrie nominated for 4 AVN Awards)

Cat People (1982)

(Nominated for 2 Golden Globes)


Ho-stess’s PS- I just learned this eXXXists. (I knew TILF was a thing. Just wasn’t aware they repackaged it as a “New Year’s” edition? Miss Kasey is such a goober… 😉 xoxo)

 

#SexOnSunday: The Streets of L.A. Edition

(Submitted by Eric…Thanks, Smutmaster!! 🙂 xoxo)

Red Light (2016)

Among her group of friends Rachel (Chanel Preston) is seen as the wallflower, but all of that changes after a chance encounter with a man she picks up crossing a street. One night Rachel’s roommate spots her car, but without her driving, and assumes that Rachel has been murdered by the man behind the wheel. The roommate and her other friends join the search to find out what really happened to her.

Featuring: Damon Dice, Kleio Valentien, Ryan Driller, Skin Diamond, Bree Daniels, Casey Calvert, Derrick Pierce and Lea Lexis

Overview:

The cast did a good job at playing their parts and brought real heat to their sex scenes. Unfortunately, the plot is somewhat dull. There’s plenty of driving around to find Rachel, but these characters never stop at one interesting place, or do one really fun, or surprising thing before fucking. A few spoonfuls of humor and a better pace could have enlivened things.

Rating: Smiths, The 3.5 stars of