Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to all you morbidly majestic mummies out there! Today’s your day, so relax and don’t lose your head!

Here’s to mothers everywhere, whether they be artistic…
…Fashionable…

…A tad over-protective…

…Old-fashioned…
…Dramatic…

…Rational…

…Cheery…
…Irritable…

…A real witch…
…Or Just plain weird.
A toast to mothers….
...Stepmothers…
…Mother figures…

…And Other Mothers.
From of us here at Kinky Horror…



 



 

Happy Birthday, John Astin!

A Happy Birthday to the mysterious, spooky, and all-together ooky John Astin, the lovable looney who played Gomez Addams on The Addams Family!

With his wild-eyed exuberance and a cheeky grin, John Astin as Gomez was the frightful father every creepy kid dreamt of. On the series, this groovy ghoul had a lust for life (and death) that was irresistible, and his chemistry with Carolyn Jones made us all want a romance like Gomez and Morticia. After Addams, Mr. Astin portrayed mad scientist Prof. Gangreen in three Attack of the Killer Tomatoes sequels, The Riddler in two episodes of Batman with Adam West, a deranged director in an episode of Tales from the Crypt, The Judge in Peter Jackson’s The Frighteners, and had a one-man show as Edgar Allan Poe. While not necessarily genre fare, Mr. Astin played the father of Night Court‘s Judge Harry Stone, a part played by magician, IT star, and KH favorite Harry Anderson (#rawwwwr). For a lifetime of spooky-cool achievements and a vested interest in keeping it creepy, we salute John Astin. Good show, old man!

Cereal Killers: The “Breakfast at Wednesday’s” Edition

(Figured you could use a palate cleanser after that last most…Enjoy the Addams Awesomeness, Kinky Ho-mies!! 🙂 xoxo)

Ho-wdy, you all-together ooky Ho-mies! We took a trip to the graveyard and dug up something eXXXtraordinarily creepy for you fright fiends: The Addams Family cereal!

Released by Ralston in 1991 to promote the first theatrical Addams Family creature feature,  The Addams Family cereal itself was molded into the shapes of headless dolls, skulls, and Thing… Just a few of my favorite “Things.” (#ha! ;)) The box described the cereal as “a mysterious flavor that you’re going to love,” which I’ve taken to mean “pure sugary greatness!”  To add to the Addams awesomeness, the cereal also came with Addams flashlights, because who doesn’t find Fester electrifying? 😉

Here is the official description on the side of the box:

Welcome to a delightfully demented breakfast with THE ADDAMS FAMILY.

Getting too old for the same loops and letters in your cereal. Then you’re ready for a new taste adventure with THE ADDAMS FAMILY brand sweetened cereal. Deliciously demented, this new cereal has a mysterious flavor you’re going to love. And the skulls, headless dolls and Thing cereal pieces are as bizarre as THE ADDAMS FAMILY themselves.

Speaking of bizarre, let us introduce you to America’s creepiest, kookiest family:

GOMEZ ADDAMS: The manic father of the clan. He loves playing golf in the family cemetery, crashing his toy trains and romancing his bewitching wife, Morticia.

MORTICIA ADDAMS: The real backbone of the family, Morticia is a raven haired, haunting beauty who cares for her family, her home and her dead plants.

FESTER ADDAMS: Uncle Fester, lost in the Bermuda triangle years ago, is Gomez’s demented older brother. He is also so charged with energy he can light a bulb in his mouth.

PUGSLEY ADDAMS: An energetic monster of a boy. He breeds pet sharks and creates dreadful concoctions with his chemistry set.

WEDNESDAY ADDAMS: The somber and poetic daughter who knows the family’s hiding places and secrets. She enjoys beheading dolls with her toy guillotine.

LURCH: Addam’s gigantic mute Butler who protects the children from healthy influences everywhere.

THING: The disembodied pet hand who’s full of personality. Thing is always willing to serve as a tee for Gomez’s golf ball and to warn the family of impending danger.

These are just a few of the lovable, quirky characters you’ll meet in the new THE ADDAMS FAMILY movie. And now, you can have breakfast with them every morning with the new THE ADDAMS FAMILY Cereal

Here’s the creepy commercial for your viewing pleasure. (Alas, it doesn’t feature Addams Groove by MC Hammer…So I took the liberty of adding it for ya. ;))

As kreepy, kooky bonus, Honey Nut Cheerios did their own Addams Family promotion after the second feature. The box featured an eye-popping magic eye puzzle. Better yet, the commercial featured a ghoulish-looking Wednesday racing Buzz the Bee for some Cheerios. (I guess she’s not a huge fan of her own cereal… ;))

Check out the boXXXes and commercial below:

So much Addams Awesome…Let us do the Dance of Joy Despair in their ho-nor!! 😉 xoxo

Happy Birthday, Chas Addams!

A very mysterious, spooky, and all-together ooky birthday to Charles “Chas” Addams, cartoonist and creator of The Addams Family!

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Chas Addams was the first king of creepy cartoon comedy, paving the way for such macabre masters as Edward Gorey and Tim Burton. His oddball single panel cartoons dealt with the bizarre and morbid, tempered with the silly. Chas and his reputation as a horrifying humorist was so great that the public began to spread interesting rumors about his personal life, including that he slept in a coffin, drank martinis with eyeballs in place of olives, received severed fingers in the mail from fans, and loved to wear a monogrammed straitjacket. Sounds like a guy I could really dig… a grave for!
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The Addams Family first appeared in The New Yorker in 1938 and was a funhouse reflection of the “ideal” 20th century American family. Addams’ series (and future iterations) centered around the wealthy, aristocratic Addams clan, who delighted in the grotesque, found solace in the scary, and were seemingly oblivious to the terror they inspired. The joke wasn’t that they were mean or nasty… the joke was that they were happy! Because of their free-spirited nature, the Addams Family have endeared themselves to generations of folks who find beauty in the macabre and happiness in the haunted. With decades now of various T.V. shows, toys, movies, and even a broadway musical, Chas’ first family of fright will live on like well-fed vampire.

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In honor of the Ooky One, here are some Addams cartoons for a taste of that odd Addams flavor and a full-length episode of the 1992 Addams Family animated series, another testement to the immortality of Addams’ creations.

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Happy Birthday, Chas, ol’ chum! ☺ xoxo

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Coal for your Stocking: 5 Creepmas Episodes of Terror-Vision Favorites!

(Submitted by a gent who is chock fill o’ Ho-rrorday Cheer, Mr. Dr. Anton Phibes. A very scary Creepmas to you, my good  very bad sir. 😉 xoxo)

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GOOD LORD!! *choke*

We only have five days until Creepmas! We have to get as much Merry Madness out there before the big day! The “slay” bells must ring so loud as to wake the dead and we must drown ourselves in Egg Nog! There’s only so much time to make the our days scary and dark! To help keep Creepmas in your wonderfully dark little hearts, we here at Kinky Horror would like to share with you some must-see Horrorday class-sicks  to keep that Ghoul Log burning! These little lumps of coal are some the most festive installments of some of our favorite horror shows on the small scream and we hope these winter scary tales scare the (Charles) Dickens out of you and help to make your Creepmas delightfully weird.

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1.) American Horror Story – Unholy Night

American Horror Story: Asylum is a firm lock for my second favorite season (my heart belongs to Freak Show), and a perfectly macabre bit of genre television with a host of creeps and madmen to delight and drive mad. One of the craziest crazies in the crazyhouse is a psychotic “Santa Claus”  with a mean naughty streak and a penchant for spreading Creepmas fear! Ian McShane plays the krooked Kringle to repugnant perfection and his slaying is made all the more gruesome when juxtaposed with the warm trappings of the season. Christmas with the inmates can be a scream!

“There is no God, but there is a Santa Claus!

-Leigh Emerson, Killer Santa

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2.) Tales from the Darkside – Seasons of Belief

You know Krampus, The Grinch, The Bumble, and the Gremlins… but do you recall the most fearsome monster of all?

The Grither is a ferocious beast that lives in a cave on the other side of the mountain that Santa resides, housed inside the wreckage of a ship. The Grither hates nothing more than to hear his name taken in vain and will punish any fool who dares to utter his name. Tales from the Darkside was never my favorite horror anthology shows, but this episode is a woefully under-seen Creepmas treat. Just… don’t say his name, okay?

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3.) Invader Zim – The Most Horrible X-Mas Ever

Invader Zim is perhaps the darkest program ever to masquerade as a “kid’s show”, and we absolutely adore it for that very reason. The plot concerns a hopelessly inept alien invader looking to conquer a small, obscure planet… Earth. For this Creepmas special, the titular Zim looks to achieve conquest by pretending to be Santa and sending us to his homeworld to be imprisoned. This is perhaps the only animated “family” special to end with Santa mutating into a horrible, ungodly monstrosity and being launched into space to die. Merry Christmas, Earth Monkeys!

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4.) The Addams Family – Christmas with the Addams Family

Terror-vision’s first family of fright celebrate’s Creepmas in their own inimitable way. Of all the specials on this list, this is probably the most traditional, complete with seasonal decor, a reaffirmation to the existence of Santa, and a warm carol sung to the audience. However, the whole affair is seasoned with that special arsenic-flavored humor that has made the Addams clan so dear to us all. Why not spend Creepmas with the Family?

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5.) Tales from the Crypt – And All Through the House

We close this selection Creepmas goodies with a visit to the Crypt of Terror. And All Through the House is certainly a class-sick of the highest order, first appearing in the pages of Vault of Horror, being brought to death by Hammer director Freddie Francis in the Amicus version of Tales from the Crypt, and finally making it to the small scream. This sadistic Santa story is a favorite of many of us here at KH and as a treat to all you festive freaks, we present this Ghoultide masterpiece in its entirety! Naughty… or nice?

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We hope these creepy chestnuts make your Horrorday as scary as it is merry and we’ll end our seasonal offering with a sincere and simple…

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and a Happy New Fear! 🙂