#FBF: The “Adult Swimming with The Tall Man” Edition

You play a good game, boy, but the game is finished. Now… you watch Adult Swim!

In the year of 2004, Adult Swim summoned the late, great Angus Scrimm to ho-st a Halloween marathon of the freakiest episodes of one of Adult Swim’s freakiest shows: Aqua Teen Hunger Force!
Master Scrimm was at his Tall Man best, with a menacing glare and that wonderfully frightful voice. Dressed to kill in black, Scrimm knocks ’em dead with his signature grimaces and a few classic Phantasm quotes sprinkled about. Even in the goofiest setting, there’s nothing like Mr. Scrimm letting out a “BOY!” to freeze the blood and paralyze the soul!
Like Vincent Price before him, it’s clear that he had a “ball” with his ghoulish persona. Each bumper delivers a chill and a wink in a way that only a true Prince of Terror could pull off. Whether in a funeral home or a late night cable spot, The Tall Man knew how to deliver the creeps. Who else but Scrimm could make a shake, some meat, and an order of fries seem so ghastly?

Check out the bumpers/commercials below……if you have the balls! ūüėČ xoxo

Random Side Note: I totally had a thing for Meatwad back in the day…#MME ūüėČ xoxo

#TBT: The “Invader Zim Rises Again” Edition

Ho-wdy, fellow Earth Ho-mies! Cult favorite Invader Zim is coming back in a big, bad way!

No, it’s totally true!¬†Invader Zim will invade again in a new 90-minute TV movie from creator Jhonen Vazquez!

From the Press Release from Nickelodeon:

“Invader Zim” Returns to Nickelodeon in All-New Original TV Movie Based On Fan-Favorite Animated Series

Creator Jhonen Vasquez Serves as Executive Producer, Original Voice Cast to Reprise Their Roles

Burbank, Calif.-April 4, 2017-Nickelodeon officially announced today the greenlight for an all-new, 90-minute Invader Zim TV movie from original creator Jhonen Vasquez, marking the network’s third animated property from its rich library of content to be reimagined for today’s audience. The 2D-animated TV movie, produced by Nickelodeon in Burbank, will show the latest and greatest ridiculous attempt at world domination by the universe’s worst alien invader ever. The movie will also feature original voices from the fan-favorite television series.

“As a network that prides itself on a 25-year history of creating groundbreaking, hilarious animation for kids, Invader Zim is one of our great loves. It’s been so exciting to see its popularity grow over the last decade through social media, consumer products and the Zim comic books,” said Chris Viscardi, SVP, Content Development and Production, Animation, Nickelodeon. “What makes this announcement extra thrilling is the adventure that Jhonen has created for Zim, and I can promise you that it is as wonderfully absurd and strangely heartfelt as any fan of the original series could hope for, and kids seeing it for the first time will love it too.”

The Invader Zim TV movie follows the perpetually desperate and delusional Zim as he creates a new and potentially Earth-destroying plan to finally get the attention he deserves from his Irken leaders, the Almighty Tallest.

Original voice cast members reprising their roles include: Richard Horvitz as Invader Zim; Rosearik Rikki Simons as GIR, Zim’s insane robot sidekick; Andy Berman as Dib Membrane, junior paranormal investigator and Zim’s alien-obsessed human nemesis; and Melissa Fahn as Gaz Membrane, Dib’s younger, video game obsessed sister. Additional casting will be announced in the coming months.

Invader Zim debuted on Nickelodeon in 2001 and chronicled the efforts of an extraterrestrial named Zim on a mission to conquer Earth and enslave the human race.”

I’M SO EXXXCITED!!! ūüôā

To Ho-nor the return of this eXXXtraterrestrial¬†black comedy, I’d like to take a look at a clas-sick episode of the series: Dark Harvest.

Dark Harvest is certainly dark. To make himself appear more human, Zim attempts to win the hearts and minds of the people… along with their kidneys, spleens,¬†pancreata, and other precious organs! Yes. this an episode of a Nickelodeon¬†show about harvesting the organs of children! I’m sure parents just loooovvvvvved this one! ūüėČ

Clocking in at about 12 minutes, Dark Harvest is as gloriously twisted as any full-length “adult” horror film. Having gathered organs from nearly everyone in his “Skool,” Zim becomes so grotesquely bloated with the body parts that he can hardly contain himself… literally! The whole thing plays out like an animated nightmare¬†concocted by David Cronenberg. If organ-snatching wasn’t horrible enough, there are creatures and organs floating in formaldehyde, a child’s skeleton, Running Man-like exploding collars, a spooky boiler room Freddy would adore, and a climax that recalls Alien. This demented bit o’ animation is the most depraved thing ever aimed at children… and I love it for that! ūüôā

If you have the stomach for it, check out the biological insanity below:

Welcome back, Invader Zim! I’m gonna sing the Doom Song to celebrate! ūüôā xoxo

Ghost in the Shell (2017)

(Submitted by Mr. Dr.¬†Anton Phibes…Thanks, ho-mie, bc I didn’t even wanna touch this one!! ūüėČ xoxo)

I think it’s only fair to state that I’ve been a fan of the Ghost in the Shell¬†franchise for a considerable portion of my existence. Mamoru Oshii‚Äôs 1995 film was a haunting, cerebral film that completely went over my head when I saw it around the age of 7. It fascinated me, but I couldn’t articulate why until I was a little older. The older me view¬†Oshii’s film as a poetic tale that deals with the nature of the human consciousness and the influence of technology, but my younger self saw a confusing sci-fi flick that delighted him nevertheless. Admittedly, that film was not the sort a 7-year-old should have watched, but it did stick with me for a long time after. The older I got, the more appreciated it. When it came to the US, I discovered Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex, which maintained much of what I loved about the movie and quickly became one of my favorite anime shows. Masamune Shirow’s original manga didn’t find its way to me until later, but I enjoyed it as well. Over the years, I have collected wall scrolls, action figures, and posters for this franchise and I still love it dearly.

It is important to note this because I did go into 2017’s Ghost in the Shell as a fan of the source material, so I had certain expectations. Were those expectations met? ¬†I’m pleased to report that they were, for the most part. ¬† it does maintain much of the themes and questions of the franchise, although most of it is either simplified or handled with subtlety of a tank. I don’t think the 7-year-old me would have been quite as confused by this picture. However, he would’ve dug the heck out of the visuals and I’d agree with him. The world of this Ghost in the Shell takes the¬†austere atmosphere of the 1995 film and adds a layer of colorful holographic madness that creates a future both frightening and inviting at once. Some scenes are recreated from the first film, and they do not disappoint. If you are any sort of fan of the Oshii picture, I urge you to see the film right now to experience them. Heck, I urge anyone who’s into film aesthetics to seem the film right now!

The basic outline of the original plot is intact: a machine with the ghost (soul) and brain of a human hunts for a cyber-terrorist who can hack the minds of other man-machines. From there, the plot frankensteins bits and pieces of various incarnations of GitS, along with some additions of its own. Frankly, it’s satisfying to watch a film that is comfortably familiar, yet still has a few surprises of its own. Fans of any version of GitS will recognize something from their favorite installment. In fact, the villain is a weird hybrid of The Puppetmaster from the original film and ¬†Kuze from the TV series, bearing the name of the latter. Since there is much that is unique to this film, I won’t type another word of it. I’ll let the film unravel its mysteries for you.

Well, I suppose I should now address the elephant in the room… I think Scarlett Johansson was a rather excellent choice for The Major, and I don’t see the harm in casting her. Motoko Kusanagi (the protagonist in most versions of GitS) is a cyborg with very little of her humanity remaining. As originally conceived, Motoko’s body was a¬†mass production model, so she has the same appearance as many others like her. Very little is known about her past and who she once was in most GitS-related material. In an episode of the TV series,¬†Kusanagi confessed that she couldn’t remember what her real name was, suggesting that “Motoko Kusanagi” is only a pseudonym. Basically, Kusanagi isn’t even human in the traditional sense, so why should the race of the actress matter? ¬†I thought Ms. Johansson looked the part and did wonderful job in the film.¬†

2017’s Ghost in the Shell is a worthy addition to the franchise. Sure, it’s never quite as clever as its source, but there is a human brain in this machine. The film isn’t doing so hot at the box office, so if you have any interest in it, I recommend you see it now. If you put aside any thoughts of “whitewashing,” you’ll likely find a highly enjoyable film that honors a true classic of animation. For Humans and cyborgs alike, this is a groovy time at the cinema.


 

Scary Shorties: The Devil and Daniel Mouse

Ready for some FAUST and furious cartoon madness? Something with a little soul? Well, we’ve got a Hell of cartoon for you splendid sinners!

1978’s The Devil and Daniel Mouse is a rather strange take on the Faust legend. It concerns a struggling mouse singer who sells her soul for rock ‘n’ roll. ¬†Personally, I’m a sucker for a good Faustian tale, so this one had my soul from the very start. The fact that it bares more than a few similarities to 1974’s Phantom of the Paradise just sweetens the deal. If you’re a ghoul like me, you’ll no doubt dig the sheer volume of creepy on display here. Satanic bargains, contracts signed in blood, and a truly devilish Devil… These are a few of my favorite things! This special is a proud product of the Satanic Seventies, complete with leisure suits, ‘fros, and KISS make-up. John Sebastian of The Lovin’ Spoonful wrote the songs and lended his voice, and making this spooky ’70s time capsule all the more boss.

Go ahead… watch the cartoon All you need to do is sign upon the dotted line… a drop of yours, a drop of mine… For the price of your soul, you can experience this creepy classic…

…Or you could just click on the box below:

If you’re in the mood for another deal, check out this behind-the-scenes video below:

Saturday Morning Kartoon Kwickie: The Cobweb Hotel

If you are arachnophobic in any way, I implore you to click away from this article and find something more pleasant. The cartoon embedded on this page is 1936’s The Cobweb Hotel. It is a Fleischer bros. cartoon and it is quite horrible. Not in quality, mind you, but in subject. If you have any fear of spiders, this short will not only encourage it, but perhaps even justify it. Personally, I’m quite fond of spiders. However, this cartoon tests even me. It concerns a spider who runs the titular hotel where he traps unsuspecting guests. Do not be fooled by the whimiscal singing or the wiggly movements of its bug-eyed (quite literally) characters… this is a horror show. Innocent buggies are seen caught in the spider’s web, squirming and pleading for mercy. The Spider is an unimaginably repulsive creature, fiendish and slobbering throughout. I suggest you heed the warning of the young couple within the short:

“And now, as we go,
there is one thing we know:
Stay away from the Cobweb Hotel!”

If, however, you are the brave sort, we have provided the cartoon below:

Have a Spoopy Saturday, Kinky Kreepers!! ūüôā xoxo

#FBF: The “King Kong‚Äôs REAL Thronester” Edition

Ladies and gentlemen, I am here tonight to tell you a strange story… A story so strange that no one¬†would believe it. But, ladies and gentleman, seeing is believing. Back in 1972, stop-motion master David Allen (The Howling, Doctor Mordrid) showed us the greatest thing our eyes have ever beheld… The Return of King Kong! Not just another ape suit, but a stop-motion marvel like the true Kong of 1933. What occasion lead to the resurrection of one of cinema’s great beasts? A car commercial, of course! The Volkswagen of America company recruited Allen to give us a show to gratify our curiosity and promote their Volkswagen 411 4-Door Sedan model, a “Volkswagen big enough for everyone.” The result was¬†a¬†pitch‚Äďperfect¬†tribute to the greatness that is 1933’s King Kong.¬†Why, the commercial even has its own Ann Darrow in the form of¬†Victoria Riskin, Fay Wray’s daughter! For even more monster-y goodness, make-up wizard Rick Baker (An American Werewolf in London, The Funhouse) appears as Kong’s arm. Ladies and gentlemen, look at Kong, the Eighth Wonder of the World… and Volkswagen enthusiast!

If you crave more excitement, gaze upon these nifty behind-the-scenes photos:

 

The (Nearly) Complete Guide to the Batman Rogues in The Lego Batman Movie

(You asked for it, and you got it, fiends!!¬†Kinky Kudos¬†to Mr. Anton Phibes for putting together this complete -save for one dude we couldn’t figure out- list of all the random rogues in Lego Batman…You’ve done the Lord’s work here kind evil villainous sir. xoxoxo)

Greetings, fair citizens. ¬†The Lego Batman Movie recently came out and was a Bat-Smash Hit. One of the absolute joys of the film was its clear love for all things Batman. The Dark Knight Detective has been around for over 75 years, constantly changing to thrill new audiences and reflect the current cultural climate. This also applies to his villains. From the very beginning, Batman’s rogues tended to be a reflection of the character. Like like the Caped Crusader himself, they’ve ranged from menacing to goofy, sometimes doing both at once. If you are a fan of any iteration of The Bat,¬†The Lego Batman Movie has at least one villain cameo to put a smile on your face, without the use of Joker Venom. That’s why we’ve compiled this list of nearly every Batman rogue to appear in the film for your convenience¬† and pleasure.

We wish to express our gratitude to the friends of Batman and his fabulous rogues. To them, and to lovers of adventure, lovers of pure escapism, lovers of unadulterated entertainment, lovers of the ridiculous and the bizarre— To funlovers everywhere— This post is respectfully dedicated.¬†If we have overlooked any sizable groups of lovers, we apologize.

The Joker
First Appearance: Batman #1

The Clown Prince of Crime headlines this Carnival of Crime. ¬†Thankfully, he had that ‘Damaged” tattoo removed before shooting.

The Riddler
First Appearance: Detective Comics #140

Riddle me this: what do this Lego-ized puzzle plunderer and The Dark Knight Returns’ David Endocrine have in common? They were both voiced by Conan O’Brien!

Harley Quinn
First Appearance: Batman: The Animated Series: Joker’s Favor

We have nothing but Mad love for psychotic psychiatrist here at Kinky Horror!

Catwoman
First Appearance: Batman #1

“Life’s a brick… now so am I”

The Scarecrow
First Appearance: World’s Finest Comics #3

Gotham’s Master of Terror! Dr. Johnathan Crane uses his “fear toxin” to force victims to face their worst fears. Oh, Scarecrow… I think I’ll fear you most of all!

Two-Face and Captain Boomerang
Two-Face’s First Appearance: Detective Comics #66
Captain Boomerang’s First Appearance: The Flash #117

We finally got to face Two-Face… portrayed by Billy Dee Williams, Tim Burton’s Harvey Dent. As for Captain Boomerang, he just came back around after Suicide Squad.

The Penguin
First Appearance: Detective Comics #58

This crafty criminal has always played fowl.

Killer Croc
First Appearance: Detective Comics #523

Born with a Crocodilian appearance, this criminal has teeth.

Clayface and Bane
Clayface’s First Appearance: Detective Comics #40
Bane’s First Appearance: Batman: Vengeance of Bane #1

Bane is the man who broke the Bat’s back and would be great in an El Santo biopic.

Much like a diabolical Gumby, Clayface possesses a clay-like body and shape-shifting abilities

Poison Ivy
First Appearance: Batman #181

This florid fiend is one with nature. Her kisses are killer.

Mr. Freeze
First Appearance: Batman #121

A cold-hearted villain known to give his enemies the cold shoulder.

March Harriet
First Appearance: Detective Comics #841

Curiouser and curiouser.. this Wonderlandian crook made an appearance… but the Mad Hatter is missing… Guess he was late for tea.

Gentleman Ghost
First Appearance: Flash Comics #88

A notorious highwayman and robber, the ghastly motivations of Gentleman Ghost are transparent.

Clock King
First Appearance: World’s Finest #11

Time is on his side. Yes, it is.

Calendar Man
First Appearance: Detective Comics #259

This guy is up to date when it comes to dates. A more sinister Calender Man played a role in the classic storyline, The Long Halloween.

Zodiac Master
First Appearance: Detective Comics #323

I wonder what his sign is?

Condiment King
First Appearance: Batman: The Animated Series: Make ’em Laugh

This criminal will surely relish your defeat.

Orca
First Appearance: Batman #579

After suffering a spinal cord injury, Grace Balin had it partially repaired with a Killer Whale’s spinal cord, transforming her into a whale monster. I hate it when that happens!

Cat-Man
First Appearance: Detective Comics #311

This villain has a clear case of Cat Scratch Fever.

King Tut
First Appearance: Batman ’66: The Curse of Tut

From the Adam West series comes this Phreaky Pharaoh.

Eraser
First Appearance: Batman #188

His inability to do well in school led to a life of eraser-based evil.

Zebra-Man
First Appearance: Detective Comics #275

Despite the name, his stripped appearance was the result of magnetic powers. Frankly, I was hoping it had to do with a radioactive zebra.

Kite Man
First Appearance: Batman #133

This gentleman is exactly what he sounds like. Go fly a kite!

Crazy Quilt
First Appearance: Boy Commandos #15

This colorful crook canonly see in blinding, disorienting colors. His whole life is a Dario Argento film!

Mutant Leader
First Appearance: The Dark Knight Returns

From the Frank Miller’s gritty classic, this dude knows how to slice and dice.

Tarantula
First Appearance: Nightwing #71

You wouldn’t want to get tangled up in this master assassin’s web.

Mime
First Appearance: Batman #412

The daughter of a fireworks salesman, her father’s noisy profession and the fireworks-based death of her parents led her to become a crime mine. If I had a nickel…

Polka Dot Man
First Appearance: Detective Comics #300

Looking rather like a sentient game of Twister, this felon has the ability to pull weapons from out of the polka dots on his costume.

Killer Moth
First Appearance: Batman #63

Known as the “Batman of Crime,” this crook is enemy to justice and clothing alike.

Doctor Phosphorus
First Appearance: Detective Comics #469

This skull-faced goon is radioactive! He has a bright career in crime ahead of him.

The Red Hood
First Appearance: Detective Comics #168

An¬†alias used by many, the first Red Hood was actually the Joker! Talk about seeing red…

Calculator
First Appearance: Detective Comics #463

A calculating crook like no other! Does he know how to write 80085?

Man-Bat
First Appearance: Detective Comics #400

Part Man! Part Bat! All Terror!

Hugo Strange, Magpie, Kabuki Twins, and Egghead
Hugo Strange’s First Appearance: Detective Comics #36
Magpie’s First Appearance: The Man of Steel #1
Kabuki Twins’ First Appearance:¬†The Batman: Call of the Cobblepot
Egghead’s First Appearance: Batman ’66: An Egg Grows in Gotham

Hugo Strange is one of the earliest Bat-enemies and the first to deduce Batman’s identity. The doctor is in… SANE!

Magpie is villain obsessed with shiny things… She and This Guy would certainly get along

The Kabuki Twins are martial arts experts who only appered in The Batman. I’m seeing double!

A villain originated by Vincent Price! How egg-cellent is that?!


Unfortunately, this post is only nearly complete because of the winged gentleman on the right. If anyone has any ideas, we’re all ears! ūüôā

That’s it for now! Keep checking in… Same Kinky time, same Kinky website!

 

Scary Shorties: Hell’s Bells (1929)

We’ve got a real hot one from Ub Iwerks, kids!

1929’s Hell’s Bells is undeniable proof that the Disney company wanted to inflict¬† irreparable psychological damage on your child. Directed by the brilliantly psychotic Ub Iwerks (Walt Disney’s first business partner and the man who animated the first Mickey Mouse shorts), this short is a typical Silly Symphonies affair with one considerable difference: it takes place in bloody Hell! What’s even more astounding about this is that this is actually a damn disturbing depiction of Hell! Iwerks’ Hell is essentially what happens when you allow Hieronymus Bosch to design family entertainment. Clocking in at just under six minutes, Mr. Iwerks treats us to images of The Devil feeding lesser demons to Cerberus, demons eating other demons to gain their attributes, and monsters dragged against their will by fiery hands. Fantastic!

Ub Iwerks was certainly a man after our black, rotten hearts. In this very same year, Mr. Iwerks unleashed¬†The Skeleton Dance and The Haunted House,¬†suggesting that the gentleman had a love for the odd and spooky. Though this short never got a follow-up, Iwerks’ ¬†grinning demons cavorted in The Goddess of Spring from 1934, ¬†a short that lead to¬†future development of Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

If you want black sensations up and down your spine, check out the video below:

Scary Shorties: Spooks (1930)

For a creature who seldom ventures away from the Paris Opera, The Phantom of the Opera certainly gets around! While not quite as popular as Dracula or Frankenstein, The Phantom does have a highly respectable number of adaptations and spoofs to his name. The Phantom has haunted slasher films, monster movie crossovers, Mexican parody films, and even cartoons! In fact, The Phantom has starred in a great number of cartoons over the years! Some are scary, some are silly, but all are a testament to the hypnotic hold The Phantom has had on audiences for decades.

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In 1930, Universal had made a killing off of a re-release of 1925’s The Phantom of the Opera with a brand-new score and dialogue recorded for the film. Once again, the Opera Ghost scared up a lot of money for Universal, proving that the Old Ghoul could delight audiences in the sound era. With The Phantom’s “phantastic” success, it made a great deal to capitalize on this with a crossover with another universal property: Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.

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The result of this pairing was Spooks, a creepy cartoon caper and an absolute gem. There are few things I love more than a spooky old cartoon, and this short is just rich with the kind of imagery that reminds one of the glory of Halloween. The animation on display is a bit on the sketchy side, but that only adds to its charm. Our Phantom is very Chaney-like in appearance, complete with a surprisingly gruesome deformity. At the very least, he’s creepier than Gerard Butler.

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For your viewing pleasure, here is Spooks:

Happy Birthday, Chas Addams!

A very mysterious, spooky, and all-together ooky birthday to Charles “Chas” Addams, cartoonist and creator of The Addams Family!

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Chas Addams was the first king of creepy cartoon comedy, paving the way for such macabre masters as Edward Gorey and¬†Tim Burton. His oddball single panel cartoons dealt with the bizarre and morbid, tempered with the silly. Chas and his reputation as a horrifying humorist was so great that the public began to spread interesting¬†rumors about his personal life, including that he slept in a coffin, drank martinis with eyeballs in place of olives, received severed fingers in the mail from fans, and loved to wear a monogrammed straitjacket. Sounds like a guy I could really dig… a grave for!
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The Addams Family¬†first appeared in The New Yorker¬†in 1938 and was a funhouse reflection of the “ideal” 20th century American family. Addams’ series (and future iterations) centered around the wealthy, aristocratic Addams clan, who delighted¬†in the grotesque, found solace in the scary, and were seemingly oblivious to the terror they inspired. The joke wasn’t that they were mean or nasty… the joke was that they were happy! Because of their free-spirited nature, the Addams Family have endeared themselves to generations of folks who find beauty in the macabre and happiness in the haunted. With decades now of various T.V. shows, toys, movies, and even a broadway musical, Chas’ first family of fright will live on like well-fed vampire.

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In honor of the Ooky One, here are some Addams cartoons for a taste of that odd Addams flavor and a full-length episode of the 1992 Addams Family animated series, another testement to the immortality of Addams’ creations.

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Happy Birthday, Chas, ol’ chum! ‚ėļ xoxo

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