American Horror Toy Story: The “Comic Con Job” Edition

Welcome back, pop-cultured creatures! Comic Con once again brought us some Fang-tastically freaky fright toys, so we’ve gathered up the ones that have us screamin’ the most! As far as we know, none of these toys are possessed with the spirit of a killer… I guess nothing’s perfect. 😉

Here are Comic Con’s most terror-ific toys!

NECA brings the most Horror with frightening new toys for Evil Dead, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Child’s Play, Gremlins, and Friday the 13th! 🙂 Toyark

Behold the many, many new Super-Goodies from DC! Nerdist

Guillermo del Toro’s fantastical films get some fantastical figures. 🙂 Bleeding Cool

Great Balls of Terror! Mondoids are a scream! 🙂 Bloody Disgusting

Who ya gonna call? THE NINJA BUSTERS!! 🙂 io9

Evil Dead‘s Ash and Hellraiser‘s Pinhead are getting the Kotobukiya Bishoujo treatment. 🙂 Crunchyroll


Game over, Man… these Alien vs. Predator Arcade Game Figures are amazing! 🙂 Scified

Coraline, ParaNorman, and other LAIKA favorites will be given some sweet new toys from NECA. 🙂 ScienceFiction

Carnivorous Cartoon Cavalcade: Tales from the Cryptkeeper – Fare Tonight

Ho-wdy, Fright Fiends! SDCC got in the way of my usual #SplatterdayMourning posting, but there’s no way I’d leave you without a creepy cartoon for your wicked weekend viewing pleasure. So without further ado, I presenteth thee with KH’s very first Carnivorous Cartoon Calvacade. (#GoWithIt… ;))

We’ve got another animated atrocity to thrill you, chill you, and fulfill you! This time, we’re takin’ a scenic walk through the crypt with our favorite Master of Scar-emonies… The Cryptkeeper!

#Hotness

Ghoul-d Ol’ Crypty has done just about everything a creep can SCREAM of… he started with some of the influential fright comics of all SLIME, appeared in movies, had a hit Terrorvision show, made appearances at amusement parks, has had his seXXXy mug plastered on everything known to monsterkind, and even had two records! Of CORPSE, all of that isn’t enough for big shot like Ol’ Crypty. Having scared the pants off of every adult in A-SCARE-ica, The Cryptkeeper intended to do the same to all the little boils and ghouls. Yes, fright friend, Crypty had his own Splatterday Mourning Cartoon… Tales from the Cryptkeeper!
Tales from the Cryptkeeper was essentially a friendly, cleaner version of the HBO show. Howl-ever, that just doesn’t mean this show doesn’t have its fare share of ghouls, ghosts, and goons. For a KILL-dren’s show. there’s still plenty o’ ho-rror to be had!
Our tale from the crypt is bloodsucker entitled Fare Tonight. It’s a twisted tale of two girls who dare ask this biting question: Will the Real Vampire Please Stand Up?
For all you night “people” out there, here’s Fare Tonight:

Pleasant Nightmares!

#WetWednesday: “The Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls” (and/or Lakes) Edition, Part 3

(Submitted with love and lust by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie, and Happy Humpday to all my Kinky Kreeps! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: WW, Elisabeth Shue, Tom Cruise, Jennifer Lynn Warren, Adrienne King, KK & Jessica Lange

Wonder Woman (2009)


Cocktail (1988)


Creature (2011)



Friday the 13th (1980)

King Kong (1976)

Splatterday Mourning Cartoon: Return to the Planet of the Apes – Flames of Doom

Ho-wdy, Humans!

The War for the Planet of the Apes is waging in cinemas across the nation, so what better way to skull-ebrate the apes than a damn, dirty cartoon?

Return to the Planet of the Apes  premiered on September 6, 1975 and was broadcast until September 4, 1976, with 13 episodes in total. It was the second television series based on the franchise, following the short-lived live action series that aired the previous year. The series depicts a  technologically advanced society of apes, sticking closer to Pierre Boulle’s original novel than its predecessors. In short, it’s totally worth going ape for. 😉
What’s really cool about this series is that it feels like Planet of the Apes. For the most part, it maintains the overall tone of the previous versions and it’s fairly clever in its writing. Sure, the animation is basically at “motion comic” level, but the art itself is quite beautiful. As a cartoon based on one of the most eXXXceptional sci-fi film series of all time, it’s pretty groovy. It’s dark, it’s thrilling, and it doesn’t have Tom Felton quoting the first film. I’m bananas for it! 🙂


Enjoy the ape-y awesomeness, and have a very splendid Splatterday, Kinky Ho-mies! 🙂 xoxo

Your Meter is Running: The Vehicles Edition, Part 3

(Submitted by , bc you can’t spell “erotic” without “eric”, #amirite??? 😉 Thanks, Kinky Ho-miebot! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Robert De Niro, Harry Canyon – voice by Richard Romanus, Tommy Pistol, Misty Stone, Bill Bailey, Eric John, Angela Jones & Bruce Willis.

Taxi Driver (1976)

A mentally unstable Vietnam War veteran works as a night-time taxi driver in New York City where the perceived decadence and sleaze feeds his urge for violent action, while attempting to save a preadolescent prostitute in the process.

Heavy Metal (1981)

A glowing green orb – which embodies ultimate evil – terrorizes a young girl with an anthology of bizarre and fantastic stories of dark fantasy, eroticism and horror.

Taxi Driver: A XXX Parody (2011)

It’s more of a serious porn remake than a parody that’s intended to make you laugh.

Pulp Fiction (1994)

The lives of two mob hit men, a boxer, a gangster’s wife, and a pair of diner bandits intertwine in four tales of violence and redemption.

Bride of #TBT: The “Dracula: Cereal Killer” Edition

Ho-wdy, Creatures of the Night!
Since we just escaped the clutches of a werewolf, let’s take look at its ancient enemy: the vampire!
And not just any rinky-dink vampire! We’re talkin’ ’bout the king of all vampires, the Prince of Darkness, one bad bloodsucka… Count Dracula!
Dracula’s met a LLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOTTT o’ monsters over the years… Frankenstein, The Wolf-Man, and other great ghouls… but there is one that stands above the rest: Count Chocula!
Yessiree, Count Chocula met the real Drac back in 1987! Unfortunately, due to controversy (the medallion Drac wears appears to be a Star of David), the pairing didn’t last long and the box was pulled off shelves. However, what we got was pretty groovy. In addition to that sweet box above, we also got this awesome commercial below:

If the next Dark Universe films are anything like that, I’m in!

It’s true what they say: Ladies Love Draculas. 😉 Fangs a lot, Counts! 🙂 xoxo

#FrankensteinFriday: Frankenstein (1910)

Ho-wdy, Mad Monsters!

We’re going WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY back in time here! I’m talkin’ B.K. (Before Karloff) here! Yessir, this one’s before Caligari had a cabinet and before Chaney’s Phantom haunted the opera. From Edison (Yes, THAT Edison) Studios, it’s Frankenstein!
Now, this short film has been described  as a “liberal” adaptation and, boy, is that true! Instead of stitching corpses together, the bad doctor throws a bunch o’ chemicals into a vat,  resulting in his own Pet Monster. It ain’t the Frankenstein we’re used to, but it’s certainly fascinating! With its strange optical effects, it’s like freaky-deaky magic show! It’s Strange! It’s weird! It’s one of the original horror shows! I highly recommend it to a you cool ghouls and groovy ghoulies out there! 🙂

Check out the OG Frank below:

#TBT, Part DeuXXX: Happy Birthday, Ray Harryhausen!

Happy Birthday to Cinema’s Great Magician, Ray Harryhausen!

 

As you cool ghouls and groovy ghoulies probably know, Ray Harryhausen was the mightiest stop motion animator in the cosmos. He was both Prometheus and Athena, sculpting creatures from clay and breathing life into them. Mr. Harryhausen brought many great monsters into existence with just his skilled hands and superhuman patience. What he did was magic, pure and simple.

In ho-nor of Mr. Harryhausen, we’ve dug up this groovy interview… conducted by Mr. Tim Burton! In it, you’ll hear Ray talk about the birth of several of his creations, watch Tim Burton try not give in to his inner-fanboy, and see the two mess around with a flying saucer from Earth vs. The Flying Saucers! It’s an incredible watch for lovers of fantastic cinema and Master Harryhausen. Enjoy, Kinky Ho-mies! 🙂 xoxo

Happy Birthday, Ray! Thanks for all the cinematic magic. 🙂 xoxo

Scary Shorties: The Phantom Coach (2010)

(A quickie submitted for your viewing pleasure by More Than a Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, not always so Kinky Ho-mie! 😉 xoxox)

The Phantom Coach (2010)

It’s a beautiful, spooky silhouette puppet film by Richard Mansfield, based on the short story by Amelia B. Edwards. Narrated with a 7:45 running time.

A young man is lost in the snow, with thoughts he’ll die. He then meets an old man that takes him into his house. The old man tells him the depressing story of his life (we don’t hear), and then another tragic tale about a coach.

 

News Bleed: The “Rampage of the Crooked Man” Edition

The Conjuring 2’s The Crooked Man will walk a crooked mile to his own film. 🙂 Variety

Jeepers! The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will meet the Universal Monsters (including Chris “Fright Night” Sarandon as Dracula) this season! Bloody Disgusting

Dwayne Johnson shows off some post-monster destruction in this new Rampage set photo. Dread Central


The Mist series won’t be a “monster show”… boo to that! 🙁 Screen Rant

The Elfman cometh… Danny Elfman is doing the score for Justice League! 🙂
io9

Yo Shiva! The Walking Dead Gets GI Joe-Style Figures exclusive to San Diego Comic Con! 🙂 CBR

Thanks, Caped Crusader… the Bat-Signal will shine over L.A. to honor Adam West. 🙂 Hollywood Reporter

Sadly, Anita Pallenberg of Barbarella fame has passed away. 🙁 The Guardian