Happy October, Kinky Kreeps!

“First of all, it was October, a rare month for boys. Not that all months aren’t rare. But there be bad and good, as the pirates say. Take September, a bad month: school begins. Consider August, a good month: school hasn’t begun yet. July, well, July’s really fine: there’s no chance in the world for school. June, no doubting it, June’s best of all, for the school doors spring wide and September’s a billion years away.

But you take October, now. School’s been on a month and you’re riding easier in the reins, jogging along. You got time to think of the garbage you’ll dump on old man Prickett’s porch, or the hairy-ape costume you’ll wear to the YMCA the last night of the month. And if it’s around October twentieth and everything smoky-smelling and the sky orange and ash gray at twilight, it seems Halloween will never come in a fall of broomsticks and a soft flap of bedsheets around corners.”

-Ray Bradbury


A very mysterious, spooky, and all-together ooky October 1st to all you groovy ghoulies and cool ghouls out there!

October is indeed a special month.  For us ho-rror aficionados, ghouls and ghosts roam throughout the year, but it’s the Halloween season when they reach their full potential and dominate this mortal plane. The wind bustles with the specters of Autumn and the monsters are no longer confined to the dark. For this most glorious month, the grotesque and beautiful become one. Those who generally dwell in the light take time to ho-nor the creatures of the dark. It’s truly the most wonderful time of the year! 🙂

For this entire month, we’ll be handing out both tricks and treats to all you wonderful freaks! We’re painting the town black-and-orange with some of the scariest, creepiest things that go bump in the night! So clap for the Wolfman and whistle past the graveyard, ’cause it’s Halloween Time, Kinky Ho-mies!! 🙂 xoxoxo

Happy 4th of Boo-ly!

Happy Fourth, my fellow A-Scare-icans!

Yes, creeps, I’m proud to be an A-Scare-ican! I mean, we have produced some of the grooviest monster media ever! America brought us the Universal Monster films,  Halloween, Scream, The Exorcist, Jaws,  Freaks, Scream 2… and others! 😉 Edgar Allan Poe and H.P. Lovecraft were born here, along with EC Comics, William Castle, and Vincent Price!  Yes, other countries have produced some most eXXXcellent horror, but I’m thrilled to be part of country with such a rich history of spookiness!

Skullebrate the day! Start with a Fourth-tastic fright flick…Might I suggest I Know What You Did Last Summer, the scariest 4th of July cl-ass-sick of them all?

It’s the kind of awesomely ’90s slasherpiece that helped to make America spooky cool. How can you go wrong with a movie that features a murderous fisherman with a hook, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and this bit o’ awesome…

Plus, it makes good use of the Ho-rrorday…

IKWYDLS is sincerely required Independence Day viewing in my Book of Shadows!  😉

After the movie, listen to some patriotic music…

And then take in some monster fireworks…

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all ghouls are created groovy, that they are endowed with certain unalienable frights, that among these are awesome monster movies, eXXXcellent terror, and the pursuit of creepiness!

Happy 4th, Kinky Ho-mies!

 

Splatterday Mourning Cartoons: Bunker Hill Bunny (1950)

Happy Fourth of July Weekend, Kinky Ho-mies! 🙂

It’s another frightfully delightful Saturday morning, so you know what that means….
For this positively patriotic party, we’re bringin’ out one big ol’ star! Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. Bugs Bunny!
We all know Bugs Bunny is the greatest cross-dressin’, wise-crackin’ wabbit in all of cartoondom… but did you know that he served in the American Revolutionary War? Well, we here at KH are here to educate ya! 🙂
In 1950’s Bunker Hill Bunny, American Minuteman Bugs Bunny defends his fort against Hessian Red Coat Yosemite Sam. And Boy Ho-wdy! You better believe some cartoon shenanigans ensue! 🙂
This ‘toon is cl-ass-ic Looney Tunes in conceivable way, with all the sight gags, eXXXplosions,  and Mel Blanc-age a ghoul could possibly want! The short’s superbly funny and the comedic timing is spot-on! Bunker Hill Bunny isn’t one that gets talked about a lot, but it’s simple, looney perfection. It’s the kind of cartoon violence that makes you proud to be an American! Who knew History was this awesome? (Answer: Everyone who’s ever seen 1776, bitches!! 😉 xoxo)
Check out the looney lesson in historical happenings via the big black boXXX below:


Looney Tunes – Bunker Hill Bunny by tgtrhgtr2

Creepy Comic Carnival: The “Sins of the Father” Edition AKA Happy Father’s Day!!

“Ladies and gentlemen, attention please!
Come in close, so everyone can see!
I got a tale to tell.
A listen don’t cost a dime..
..And if you believe that, we’re gonna get along just fine!”

Heh.. heh.. heh… Welcome back to my Fear Fair of Fear Fare, my abominable audience! Today’s  Father’s Day, so I’ve got a twisted exhibit that’ll make you cry for your daddy! It’s a putrid parental potboiler we call… Father’s Day!

Sound familiar, Fear Freaks? Well, it should! Father’s Day  was adapted from Creepshow, the clas-sick of sick sin-ema from professional sickos Stephen King and George A. Romero. The comic was written by King and illustrated by Bernie “Swamp Thing” Wrightson. Their chiller-diller is about the worst kind of deadbeat dad… the kind who won’t stay dead!
Remember, carnage carnies… father knows BEAST… even if he’s been living under a headstone!
For your amusement and DEADucation, Here’s Father’s Day:

Sorry, Folks! The Carnival is closed. All Out and Over, All Out, All Over!

 

#TBT: The “Gremlinbusters” Edition

On this day in 1984, two of the most important films of all time were unleashed upon the unsuspecting masses…

Yes indeed, 1984 really hit the “G” spot with Gremlins and Ghostbusters! These two ho-rror comedies are among the most beloved fright funnies in all of ho-rror, and the fact that they were released on the same day is nothing short of a miracle! How is this not a federal holiday??! Sure, social media is on fire with “Ghostbusters Day” posts, but it’s not the same and it eXXXcludes the undeniable awesome that is Gremlins.

In ho-nor of these two masterpieces of ho-rror, we’re giving you a double dose of monster movie magic! At the bottom of this post, we’ve provided two behind-the-scream videos, one for each film. Both of ’em are loaded with ’80s goodness and eXXXcellent nostalgia. The Ghostbusters one gets eXXXtra points for its overwhelming seXXXiness… yes, dear kreeps, it features a generous dose of young Rick Moranis! Mercy! I do believe I’m getting the vapors! 😉

#SeXXXgod

Happy Birthday, Ghostbusters and Gremlins…We love you forever!! xoxo 🙂

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to all you morbidly majestic mummies out there! Today’s your day, so relax and don’t lose your head!

Here’s to mothers everywhere, whether they be artistic…
…Fashionable…

…A tad over-protective…

…Old-fashioned…
…Dramatic…

…Rational…

…Cheery…
…Irritable…

…A real witch…
…Or Just plain weird.
A toast to mothers….
...Stepmothers…
…Mother figures…

…And Other Mothers.
From of us here at Kinky Horror…



 



 

A Very El Santo Cinco de Mayo

Happy Cinco de Mayo to all you Cool Ghouls and Groovie Ghoulies out there! The date is observed to commemorate the Mexican victory in the Battle of Puebla, but it has also become day to celebrate MeXXXican culture. In that spirit, I would like to take a moment to ho-nor El Santo, one of history’s greatest masked men.

Santo was born Rodolfo Guzman Huerta in 1917 and went on to become a real-life superhero. Santo’s wrestling career spanned nearly five decades, and he appeared in dozens of movies and comic books. Through his many appearances, he became a modern folk hero and, as Google put it, “a cultural icon, representing justice and the fight against evil.” The veiled victor went to great lengths to keep his face hidden away, even going as far as to have a special “mealtime” mask made for eating. The only time he removed his mask was in 1984 as a final goodbye to his fans. He died just a week later and was buried in his legendary mask.

To ho-rror fans, El Santo will always be known for his numerous monster films. The wrestling wonder went hand-to-claw with vampires, aliens, wolfmen, The Phantom of the Opera (El Estrangulador), zombies, cyclopes, and just about every fiend imaginable. Best of all, he bested every one of them with his fantastic wrestling skills! El Santo is Batman and Van Helsing rolled into one unstoppable monster-punching machine. No creature of the night stands a chance against the camel clutch of Santo!

In ho-nor of Cinco de Mayo and The Silver Maskman, we have Santo vs. las Mujeres Vampiro for your viewing pleasure! This is the definitive El Santo adventure, with its blend of whacked-out wrestling weirdness and deliciously Gothic atmosphere. While this version refers to El Santo as “Samson,” there’s no doubt this is the same butt-kicking luchador we all know and love. El Santo, by any other name, is still hard to beat.

Click on the box below to see El Santo in action:

Happy Cinco de Mayo, Fright Fans! 🙂 xoxo

Happy May Day: The Wicker Man (1973)

(Submitted by Mr. Anton Phibes…Thanks, Ho-rrorday Ho-mie! 🙂 xoxo)

*Spoilers*


Happy May 1st to all you wicked witches and groovy ghoulies out there! For most, today is known as “May Day,”  and is primarily associated with sweet flowers and baskets full of small delights. To others, it is known as Beltane, a day in which faeries and spirits are uncommonly active. Magick is strong on this day, and protective bonfires are spread. Generally speaking, human beings are not at the literal center of these bonfires. However, if you are on the isle of Summerisle,  it’s entirely possible that things may get a little hot for you or someone you know…
The Wicker Man (1973) is a weird film. “Weird” is a word we have used numerous times on this site, but it’s a word that fits The Wicker Man better than most films. Even other “weird” films fail to be as weird.  For starters, The Wicker Man is not really a horror film until its last twenty minutes. Instead, it is best described as a “musical.” Hardly a traditional musical, mind you, but a musical. That’s not to to say the film is not unnerving, but it does it more with an overwhelming sense of things being off than with something that is obviously creepy.  However, once it reaches its conclusion, it does earn that “horror” label that it is associated with.

The plot concerns police officer Neil Howie (Edward Woodward) investigating the disappearance of a teenage girl from the island Summerisle. Howie is shocked when the island’s population denies the missing girl’s existence. Being a devout Christian of the puritanical sort, Howie is even more perturbed when he learns that the inhabitants are worshipers of a form of Celtic paganism. As the officer continues his investigation, the officer’s unease escalates when he suspects that the girl’s disappearance may be linked to a ghastly public festival.


Anthony “Frenzy” Shaffer’s screenplay is brilliantly crafted, making its finale (which I will get to very shortly) all the more powerful. its weird folk musical sequences and use of Pagan imagery make for a chilling atmosphere that doesn’t resort to crumbling castles, foggy graveyards, thunderstorms, or any of the classic horror tropes. The performances are all aces, especially Christopher Lee as the charismatic Lord Summerisle. Lee, who reportedly did the film for free, often said that Lord Summerisle was one of his favorite roles. While I’m partial to his work with Hammer, it is certainly an impressive performance in a career full of remarkable roles.
The ending is, understandably, the most talked-about part of the film. It has been parodied/referenced by just about everyone, is regularly cited as one of the greatest endings in horror history, and was even included in Bravo’s 100 Scariest Movie MomentsUnfortunately, that means that, even if you haven’t seen the film, you have a pretty decent idea of how it goes. Nonetheless, this overexposure can’t really diminish is just how effectively it plays out. No parody, spoiler-filled review, or single image online can capture just how powerfully disturbing it is or how horrifically real the performances seem. That is the ultimate testament to how masterful The Wicker Man is. Even if it isn’t completely unexpected, it still gets under your fingernails.

There isn’t a lot of competition, but The Wicker Man is definitely the greatest May Day/Beltane horror film of all time.  I highly recommend you give this classic shocker a view today. There’s just no better way for a ghoul to celebrate the occasion.

Happy May Day, creeps! MAY your dance around the Maypole be a pleasant one and may your Wicker Man burn bright.

#WaybackWednesday: The “My First Xenomorph” Edition (aka Happy Alien Day!)

Happy Alien Day, Xeno-Homies! Is that eXXXcitement you’re bursting with… or are you having a “John Hurt” moment? Either way, you’re in the right frame of mind! 🙂
The Alien series is just about the greatest Sci-Fi/Horror franchise in the cosmos. It has some perfectly gruesome monsters, tons of thrills & kills, and one of the most badass badasses in the history of badassery in the form of Ms. Ellen Ripley. Even the worst installments in the franchise (I’m looking at you, Alien3!) are still solid monster movies and that is beyond rare for any franchise. In short, the Alien series kicks all the Xenomorph ass! 🙂

In ho-nor of the frightening franchise, I thought we’d look at the heart of any sci-fi franchise… TOYS!!! 🙂
The Alien series is a dark, grotesque series of gory horror films loaded with lots o’ swearing and phallic imagery… so it only makes sense to make a toyline based on it! Well, that’s what the folks at Kenner thought! In 1979, Kenner brought the terror and gloom of Ridley Scott’s Alien to toy shelves everywhere with a target set, a board game, a “movie viewer,” and an 18″ action figure based on the extra-TERROR-strial.

The latter of those (understandably) frightened the heck out of folks back then. Parents bombarded the company with a good many angry letters about how terrifying the 18″ horror was. Parental outrage and poor sales forced Kenner to pull the figure off shelves, so I guess you don’t need to blast an alien into space to kill it…
Kenner’s figure may have died, but, like Ripley in the fourth film, it was resurrected decades later in a big, bad way. In 2014, a toy company called Gentle Giant a released 24″ reproduction of the original 18″ figure. The fear figure retailed at $500… and sold out almost immediately!


Since that initial failure, Alien has spawned many successful toy lines, including an Aliens-based one by Kenner in the 1990s.

Those ’70s suckas may not have been ready for the radness, but Alien has since proven to be an unstoppable force in merchandising. Thank you, Kenner… you gave us one of the coolest monster toys of all time and opened the airlock for decades of awesome Alien toys.
Check out the commercial below for a classic Alien Attack:

Happy Alien Day, Kinky Ho-s…Here’s a ho-rrorday hug for ya! 😉 xoxo

 

Happy 421! ;)

Ok, so after this post, I promise to get my shizzle together and start posting things on the appropriate day (for at least one whole week…THIS I VOW!!! ;)), but for today let’s just enjoy a drug-induced #FBF together, shall we?

If I had posted this on time I wouldn’t have been able to post these pics from last night’s premiere screening of Evil Bong 666, so yay weed, basically. 😉

I was maybe a lil’ high during this screening, so I didn’t cover it as well as I might have otherwise. Here’s an eXXXample of my crackin’ coverage:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! High-larious, amirite??? If you want conventional coverage of the night’s festivities, you can check out Full Moon’s official vidcast right here:

And here’s a bunch of weed-y stuff I should’ve posted yesterday, but I’ll be darned if I’m gonna let being late by one day KILL our buzz…Happy Four Twenty (One ;), Kinky Ho-mies!! 🙂 xoxo