#WaybackWednesday: The “My First Xenomorph” Edition (aka Happy Alien Day!)

Happy Alien Day, Xeno-Homies! Is that eXXXcitement you’re bursting with… or are you having a “John Hurt” moment? Either way, you’re in the right frame of mind! 🙂
The Alien series is just about the greatest Sci-Fi/Horror franchise in the cosmos. It has some perfectly gruesome monsters, tons of thrills & kills, and one of the most badass badasses in the history of badassery in the form of Ms. Ellen Ripley. Even the worst installments in the franchise (I’m looking at you, Alien3!) are still solid monster movies and that is beyond rare for any franchise. In short, the Alien series kicks all the Xenomorph ass! 🙂

In ho-nor of the frightening franchise, I thought we’d look at the heart of any sci-fi franchise… TOYS!!! 🙂
The Alien series is a dark, grotesque series of gory horror films loaded with lots o’ swearing and phallic imagery… so it only makes sense to make a toyline based on it! Well, that’s what the folks at Kenner thought! In 1979, Kenner brought the terror and gloom of Ridley Scott’s Alien to toy shelves everywhere with a target set, a board game, a “movie viewer,” and an 18″ action figure based on the extra-TERROR-strial.

The latter of those (understandably) frightened the heck out of folks back then. Parents bombarded the company with a good many angry letters about how terrifying the 18″ horror was. Parental outrage and poor sales forced Kenner to pull the figure off shelves, so I guess you don’t need to blast an alien into space to kill it…
Kenner’s figure may have died, but, like Ripley in the fourth film, it was resurrected decades later in a big, bad way. In 2014, a toy company called Gentle Giant a released 24″ reproduction of the original 18″ figure. The fear figure retailed at $500… and sold out almost immediately!


Since that initial failure, Alien has spawned many successful toy lines, including an Aliens-based one by Kenner in the 1990s.

Those ’70s suckas may not have been ready for the radness, but Alien has since proven to be an unstoppable force in merchandising. Thank you, Kenner… you gave us one of the coolest monster toys of all time and opened the airlock for decades of awesome Alien toys.
Check out the commercial below for a classic Alien Attack:

Happy Alien Day, Kinky Ho-s…Here’s a ho-rrorday hug for ya! 😉 xoxo

 

Happy 421! ;)

Ok, so after this post, I promise to get my shizzle together and start posting things on the appropriate day (for at least one whole week…THIS I VOW!!! ;)), but for today let’s just enjoy a drug-induced #FBF together, shall we?

If I had posted this on time I wouldn’t have been able to post these pics from last night’s premiere screening of Evil Bong 666, so yay weed, basically. 😉

I was maybe a lil’ high during this screening, so I didn’t cover it as well as I might have otherwise. Here’s an eXXXample of my crackin’ coverage:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! High-larious, amirite??? If you want conventional coverage of the night’s festivities, you can check out Full Moon’s official vidcast right here:

And here’s a bunch of weed-y stuff I should’ve posted yesterday, but I’ll be darned if I’m gonna let being late by one day KILL our buzz…Happy Four Twenty (One ;), Kinky Ho-mies!! 🙂 xoxo

 

Happy Beaster: Five Rotten Rabbits to Haunt Your Horrorday

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Beaster, you egg-cellent fright fans!  As an Easter gift to all you perturbing Peeps out there, I thought I’d draw attention to a race of creatures capable of unfathomable terror… Bunnies!
On this site, we often talk of ghouls, ghosts, madmen, creatures, demons, bugaboos, boogeymen, freaks, creeps, and just about everything that goes bump in the night… but it’s the Bunny you must fear above all. With teeth as sharp as daggers and eyes that are often as red as fresh blood, the Bunny hops along this earth with silent menace and a nose twitching like an unhinged lunatic. The worst of these creatures is The Easter Bunny: a being who barges into the homes of little ones, leaving… eggs. Why does he do this? Nobody really knows. Perhaps, when they hatch, they’ll unleash horrible, toothy beasts with taste for human flesh. Maybe that’s how he spies on you… each egg serving as his eyes.  Whatever the reason, it must be nefarious. That is, after all, the nature of the Bunny.
To celebrate the day, I have arranged a list of the most terrifying bunnies to ever haunt the screen.  I must warn you, dear readers, that there will be intense bunny-based horror in the following videos and images. Now that you have been warned, we can hop right into the madness.

1.) The Hat Rabbit from Twilight Zone: The Movie

Our first beastly bunny makes the briefest of appearances, but leaves a heck of an impression. Appearing in Joe “Gremlins” Dante’s wonderfully cartoonish take the classic It’s a Good Life story, this featured creature turns  Kevin “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” McCarthy’s simple hat trick into a feat of monstrous magical mayhem! Ta-Da!

2.) The Lepus from Night of the Lepus

This is film, coincidentally, has the same plot as my recurring nightmare: a group of giant, mutant rabbits ravage a small town and feast upon the innocent. To make things even more ghastly, the filmmakers used actually bunnies to portray the monsters! Janet Leigh stars as one of the humans hunted by the rabid rabbits. I hope they don’t make her go Psycho…

3.) The Easter Bunny from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey 

Without a doubt, the most terrifying thing in a film that deals with Hell, Satan, and Death! In Hell, Ted is forced to face his “irrational” fear of The Easter Bunny. I always knew that The Bunny was in league with The Devil!

4.) January Q. Irontail from Here Comes Peter Cottontail

How could one resist a stop-motion bunny from Rankin-Bass and Vincent Price? Dressed to scare in frightful black, this Price-voiced fiend will stop at nothing to do Easter HIS way. Irontail’s Easter would include chocolate tarantulas, octopi, and Easter galoshes replacing the Easter bonnets. Where do I sign up for this Easter?

5.) The White Rabbit from Jan Svankmajer’s Alice 

Jan Svankmajer is certainly a stop-motion genius, but darn if he doesn’t know how to scare the stuffing out of us. Why, he does the same to his characters. In his take on Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, his White Rabbit is a taxidermy rabbit who is losing sawdust, which flows out of his stomach. When his stuffing falls out, he simply secures the whole in his chest with pins and eats the sawdust! I bet Walt Disney wishes he had come up with that quirk!

Honorable Mention:  The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

I excluded this big bad bunny from the main list because I wanted to spotlight lesser-known rabbit creeps. Most people are very familiar with this bad-tempered rodent. However, that doesn’t mean he isn’t a formidable fiend. I mean, he’s got a vicious streak a mile wide! He’s a killer! There’s much to fear about this fuzzy lil’ devil.

Happy Beaster! Don’t let the Easter Bunny get ya!

Creepy Comic Carnival: The “Pranks for Nothing!” Edition

(Submitted by that Interdimensional Man of Mystery known only as…The Talker. Thanks for this festive fiXXX, Ho-rror Ho-mie! :)) xoxo

“Ladies and gentlemen, attention please!
Come in close, so everyone can see!
I got a tale to tell.
A listen don’t cost a dime..
..And if you believe that, we’re gonna get along just fine!”

Step right up, my foolish friends! To-day is indeed a rare one: April Fools’ Day. What a truly glorious howl-iday this! Ghouls and boils are encouraged to commit as many horrible, nasty acts to their “friends” and “loved ones” as possible, and the victims are just supposed to laugh it off ’cause tradition! Heck, lyin’ is grinned upon, if you do it well enough! It’s cruel! It’s mean! It’s a gas! Even your old boney Talker likes to gag around on this day! Why, about an hour ago, I gave a fellow a peanut can full of snakes… Cobras, that is!

If there’s any group of creeps who appreciate a sick joke, it’s the fine fiends over at EC Comics! Their joke concerns two doctors and a corpse that’s not quite dead. Puzzled, my abominable audience? See, I’m not the sort to spoil a good punchline, so I’ll let the comic tell this twisted joke. Chickens need not read on! With sickening artwork by Jack Davis, this one will surely knock ya dead! From the putrid pages of Tales from the Crypt #37, it’s Dead Right!

Still craving some jolting japes, folks? Well, good ol’ Horrorwood’s got ya covered! See, when HBO’s Tales from the Crypt was still hauntin’ the airwaves, they adapted just about every EC chiller-diller they could get their slimy claws on, including Dead Right! Under the new title of Abra Cadaver, the HBO skeleton crew made the men brothers and added some good ol’ fashioned nudity and a tinge o’ gore! For your amusement and education, I present Citizen Kane

APRIL GHOULS’!

Sorry, Folks! The Carnival is closed. All Out and Over, All Out, All Over!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day: The Irish Ladies Edition

(Submitted for your ho-liday viewing pleasure by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, my festive fiend!! 🙂 xoxo)
Brittany O’Connell
Born: December 06, 1972
She’s of mixed Irish, Swedish, and Russian descent. Brittany was raised in Phoenix, Arizona. O’Connell originally wanted to be an Olympic skater and both taught and studied gymnastics. She attended an all-girl private school and graduated from high school at age 17. O’Connell began her career in the adult entertainment industry at age 18 as a nude dancer in a strip club. Brittany started performing in explicit hardcore movies at age 19 in 1992 and by age 25 had already appeared in over 200 adult features.
Before she got into porn, she was a cashier at a WalMart in Phoenix, Arizona.
Sara Bolger
Born: 28 February 1991, Dublin Ireland
She is best known for her roles in the films In America (2002), Stormbreaker, and The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008), as well as her award winning role as Lady Mary Tudor in the TV series The Tudors (2007), and for guest starring as Princess Aurora in Once Upon a Time (2011).
Starring in:
Emelie (2016)
A couple’s replacement babysitter turns out to be more than they bargained for when she subjects their kids to a series of twisted activities.

Kylie Ireland

Other Name: DeeKay (as a street artist)

Born: May 26, 1970, Longmont, CO

She’s an American pornographic actress, film director, producer, publicist, and Satellite radio show host. She is an inductee into the AVN, XRCO, and NightMoves Halls of Fame. She entered the pornographic film industry in 1994, through an acquaintance with glamour photographer Warren Tang. Her first films were L’il Ms. Behaved, where she performed with Randy West, and Up & Cummers 10, with Jenna Jameson; she started at the same time as Jameson.

Chose the name Kylie because she is a fan of singer/actress Kylie Minogue. Chose the name Ireland due to her Irish heritage.

Ho-stess’s PS- Kiss me…I’m Irish, too!! 🙂 Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Kinky Ho-mies!! 🙂 xoxo

#MMM: The “Thomas Jefferson is Bae” Edition

Happy President’s Day, Kinky Ho-mies! We’re skull-ebrating this patriotic ho-rrorday by looking at manliest, meatiest man to author the Declaration of Independence: Thomas Jefferson! 🙂

I know the real life Tommy J. had his faults, but which pres doesn’t? 😉 Thanks to 1776, I will forever get tingles in my no-no place every time I hear his name…

(#Rawwwwwwwwwwr, Mistah J! ;))

That’s right, kinky kreeps! Ever since I was a spooky little girl, I’ve had a GINORMOUS crush on Mr. Ken Howard as Thomas Jefferson. Just look at that swagger…The man is the definition of a Walking Sex Stick! 🙂

Not only is he clearly a stud of the highest order… he’s also a kickass singer! AND, he had the brassballs to tell Mr. Feeney to suck it! 🙂

Ho-w can anyone not fall into forever lust with this magnificent morsel o’manly meatiness?  O say, can you see…just how darn seXXXy Tommy J. is! 🙂

On a super downer note, the beauteous Ken Howard passed away last year. Mr. Howard played Thomas Jefferson not just in this film, but in the original stage play. Thank you very much, Mr. Howard. You will always be my favorite president. 🙂 xo

On a happier note, have a Killer President’s Day, Kinky Kreeps! 🙂 xoxoxo

Have a Heart: The Valentine’s Day Edition

(Submitted with eXXXtra love today by Smutmaster Ho-peless Romantic Eric, who also happened to pen the poetry included in this post….Thanks, Ho-rrorday Ho-mie. You’re a man of many tit-illating talents!! 😉 xoxo)

If you’re alone on Valentine’s Day or have someone sweet in your life, do your best to keep it a secret from your husband or wife. 😉

Rose are red, violets are blue. There are better horror movies, but on this day, these will have to do. 🙂

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

Trivia: Was filmed on location in Sydney Mines, Nova Scotia, Canada. It had 9 minutes cut by the MPAA due to the amount of violence and gore. Actress Pat Hemingway (w/ a heart tattoo) only appeared in two movies.


My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)

Trivia: The first R-rated film to be projected in RealD technology and to have a wide release (1,000 locations) in 3D-enabled theaters.

IMO: Betsy Rue has the best sex/nude scene in any horror movie! (And Your Ho-stess seconds that opinion…She’s sincerely my hero for this! :))

Bonus:

Foreign Posters

Ho-stess’s PS- My Bloody Valentine is clearly the glamour choice, but I loves me some Valentine, too. 🙂

Ho-stess’s PPS On Valentine’s Day, you’ve just gotta go with the flow… 😉 HAPPY BLOODY VALENTINE’S DAY, KINKY HO-MIES! 🙂 xoxo

Ho-stess’s PPPSSS This. 🙂

#MME: The “Loony for Loomis” Edition

Hiya, Ho-rror Ho-mies! Today is an eXXXtra special ho-liday!

Skeet

That’s right, Kinky Kreeps! It’s Skeet (aka “Billy Loomis”, aka “The Manliest, Meatiest Maniac in Movie History”) Ulrich’s Birthaversary…REJOICE!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂

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In ho-nor of this ho-rrific ho-ttie’s birthday, our team of eXXXperts have been tasked with compiling a list of the 10 hottest Billy Loomis moments, and I think they’ve done it! 🙂 Let the swoon-fest begin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂

  1. (Finger Lickin’ Good!)

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2. (Creative and crazy… I like it. ;))

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3. (Whoa… :))

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4. (BANG!)

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5. (Best Bromance Ever!!!)

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6. (Best use of a gun!)

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7. (That’s so romantic!)

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8. (#SUPERINNOCENT :))

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9. (Aw.. Why Not? Rules were meant to be broken! ;))

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10. (Psycho references? HO-T!!!)

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Happy Birthday, Mr. Ulrich! There will never be a psycho as screamy-dreamy as you! ;)xoxoxo

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Let’s Party Like it’s Friday the 13th…

…because it is!! 😉

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It took me all day to get this perfection ready to post, but as you will see it was sooooooooooo worth the effort!! 😉 Gotta jet right now or I’m gonna be late for tonight’s plethora of F13 Fan Festivities (which I’ll surely Snap/Instastory about, if you wanna join me ;)), so I’m just gonna leave this here, and we can discuss it upon my return. 😉

Happy Jason’s Day, Kinky Ho-mies!! 🙂 xoxox
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Black Friday (1940)

(In what is quite clearly an act of blasphemy, Mr. Dr. Anton Phibes dared submit a Friday the 13th post that is not remotely related to Mah Boo!! After fighting the urge to machete some sense into him, I decided to take the high route and reward the lad’s courage…But don’t let it happen again, Phibes!!! 😉 xoxo)

Happy Friday the 13th to all you wonderful fright fiends out there!

Friday13oneweek

Considered by many to be the unluckiest day on the calendar, Friday the 13th’s dreadful reputation has excited the imagination and aroused the superstition of many for eons. For horror lovers, this is the time to honor masked maniac Jason Voorhees and the Friday the 13th film series. As fond as I am of the inimitable Mr. Voorhees, I feel I have very little to say that hasn’t been said countless times before. Jason is a very popular ghoul and is so frequently discussed on this site and others that any thoughts I have would be simply redundant. Just know that I love that camp creep dearly and will always watch one of his fright features on this most unlucky of days. However, for this particular Friday the 13th, I thought I’d spotlight something a little different…

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Black Friday (1940) is the last Universal picture to feature both Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi. The main action of the film takes place on Friday the Thirteenth and concerns Dr. Ernest Sovac (played by Karloff), a brilliant neurosurgeon who transplants the brain of dead gangster Red Cannon (Stanley Ridges) into the body of Prof, George Kingsley (also Ridges) in an attempt to save his life. When Sovac learns that the deceased criminal  had $500,000 in ill-gotten gains stashed away, he plans to probe that inform from Kingsley when he recovers, surmising that his new brain must retain the knowledge of its previous owner. Unfortunately, the operation had the unexpected side effect of completely transforming the kindly professor into the murderous gangster. With a new body and a mind on fire, Red Cannon is now free to exact his revenge on those who have wronged him.

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This cast of this particular picture played a bit musical chairs. Bela Lugosi was originally cast as Dr. Sovac and Boris Karloff as Kingsley/Cannon, Instead, Karloff played Sovac, Stanley Ridges played Kingsley/Cannon, and Lugosi ended up in the somewhat minor role of gangster Eric Marnay, once again getting the short end of stick as often did with Universal. While the exact reason for this is unknown, the most common (and most likely) explanation is that Karloff was great the kindly Kingsley, but horrendous as the hardboiled, Cagney-like Cannon, so he was recast as the mad doctor. Lugosi is given very little do, to the point where he doesn’t even get to share a scene with Karloff! Karloff is fine, but the grand surprise of this picture is Stanley Ridges. Ridges was generally a secondary player, but in this rare leading performance, he was pretty darn terrific! Pulling a Jekyll-and-Hyde, Ridges is not only convincing as both personalities, but nearly unrecognizable without even relying on heavy make-up! The transformation is wonderfully subtle and relies almost entirely on Ridges.BlackFriday8

Happy Friday the 13th and may you have the best of luck.

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