#WCE: The Bettie & Vampira Appreciation Edition

We here at Kinky Ho-rror would like to honor two women that taught us that naughty could be nice and dark could be beautiful: Malia “Vampira” Nurmi and Bettie Page. On December 11, Vampira was born (1922) and Bettie left us (2008). In an era of repression, both women celebrated their kinky sides and challenged the tyranny of the norm. Even in the internet age, these gore-geous ghouls remain the height of glamour for fierce females who embrace the dangerous side of beauty. xoxoxo

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With a bloodcurdling scream, a form-fitting dress as dark as her hair, and a piercing stare to cut through the soul, Vampira was and always shall be THE Glamour Ghoul. With a sexuality uncommon for the conservative ’50s and a campy sense of humor, Vampira hosted fright films and hypnotized the audience with an enchantingly strange persona. She solidified her immortality with her eerie appearance in Ed Wood’s Plan 9 From Outer Space. After her initial success, she became an icon in the punk scene, hanging out with The Misfits on occasion.  There is not horror host alive who doesn’t owe something to her exotic persona and/or camp humor to her and her style continues to inspire Goths, Punks, and Pinups to this very day. Dig ya, Vampira!

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Vampira in her mortal form.

Vampira in her mortal form.

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Bettie page is the indisputable Queen of Pinups. A controversial figure in her time, she was often photographed nude or in lingerie and participated in bondage shoots that would curl your hair in the ’50s. Her unabashed sexuality and free-spirited nature have made her a legendary figure in the pinup scene. At a time when few women pursued a college education, Page earned a bachelor of arts degree in education from Peabody College in Tennessee in 1944, illustrating the image of figure of both brains and beauty. Bettie’s spirit and likeness have lived on throughout the years and she continues to reign as the Queen of Pinups. Long live the Queen!

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We admire and adore you, Bettie and Vampira…Always. xoxo

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Movie Review: Model Hunger (2016)

(Submitted by Mr. TyGr…Big thanks and hugs to our newest Ho-rror- reviewin’ Ho-mie!! 🙂 xoxo)

Full disclosure: This Reviewer is a huge fan of horror icon Debbie Rochon, making her directorial debut here, so the anticipation for this movie was palpable. It’s a shame that the expectations exceeded the effort- which has nothing to do with the end result that is quite satisfactory if not immediately synthesized.

Let me explain: on the initial viewing I had more questions than answers. So it’s a relief that a bonus feature is a commentary track by the director so light could be shed on the darkness, both literal and figurative, of my confusion.

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Every project begins with the script. I could see how this one would attract the attention it did. A commendable effort by Writer James Morgart who tackles issues of gender bias and sexuality in society for women that are addressed in the form of the modern equivalent of a Greek chorus with a TV personality, played by Suzi Lorraine (Wrath of the Crows).

Suzy is the host of “Suzy’s Secret”, a lampoon of home shopping shows, where she berates the audience to cast off preconceived notions of body image, and for women to just enjoy that pizza and steak. But, this goes back to the aforementioned confusion: why is this woman obviously in a fat suit?

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Here is where the tone of the film shifted from thriller to Troma-esque comedy (a nod to Rochon’s roots?) which took me out of the film. I thought, what a missed opportunity to have a ‘plus-size’ actress address real issues. Taking nothing away from Lorraine’s over the top performance, which is then over-shadowed by the outlandish antics of real-life bulky ‘babe’ Babette Bombshell.

So, what is Model Hunger? It is a skin magazine from the 60’s (seen in flashback) that ‘Ginny’ posed for that gave her initial fame but was based on her willingness to ‘put out’. Having it snatched away are the root of her psychosis (an inability to ~not~ kill everyone who vexes her).

Never thought I’d write this but, the role of Ginny is a tour de force performance given by genre legend Lynn Lowry (The Crazies) who carries the piece as a certifiably-crazed southern belle with a hankering for human flesh.

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When two high school Cheerleaders have to go neighborhood soliciting to buy uniforms, they find themselves in Ginny’s house at first charmed then harmed. Ginny doesn’t confine her passive-aggressive personality and killings to her home.

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She goes to an auto shop run by Colin (Brian Fortune, Game of Thrones) and his inept mechanic Verill (Goth Rocker, Voltaire). We HEAR Ginny’s thoughts and desires to kill, and she carries it out on Colin in one of the more arousing scenes where she tortures him, seductively slithering and slicing in lingerie.

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On the way back from the mechanic she picks up a hitchhiker with dreams of being a starlet that sets her off and, you guessed it, she winds up in Ginny’s basement as a snack. And, a Jehovah’s Witness (Kaylee Williams, Pork Chop 2 & 3) knocks on the wrong door and becomes the final victim.

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All the while, moving in next door to Ginny are Sal (Carmine Capobianco, Galactic Gigolo) and Debbie (Tiffany Shepis, Tales of Halloween) a troubled married couple. More questions: what necessitated them to move to this new place?; what jobs do they have?; why would she be married to him? (a shlubby hubby), and why would he be married to her? (a pill-popping hot mess) if they detest each other? She’s instantly suspicious of Ginny in that happens-only-in-the-movies way and becomes the reluctant heroine. Although, when you have Tiffany Shepis in your movie, you’ve got a pro who makes any role work. (“Word!!” -D.P.)

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The climax is a trifecta of terror talent in a horror hierarchy (veteran Lowry, established Shepis, and new-comer Williams) in a scene that, let’s just say, gives new meaning to eating pussy.

With capable and mood-setting cinematography by Wolfgang Meyer, and an evocative and spot-on music score by Composer Harry Manfredini (Friday the 13th), the director delivers a thought provoking and entertaining film. But, is it horror with humor or humorous horror? It took me a couple of viewings to ascertain. For the casual watcher it could get lost in translation.

It was intriguing to see how Rochon, an accomplished horror actress, would handle the oft thought of exploitation of women in the genre, but she handled it with a deft and sure hand making her debut a winner. This Reviewer looks forward to more from her, in front of and behind the camera, as well as from the talented ensemble of Model Hunger.

Ho-stess’s PS- A lil’ Debbie Rochon appreciation fer ya. 🙂

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Ho-stess’s PPS– I freaking looooooooooove me some Voltaire, too!! (Though, sadly, his nude pics are proving a lil’ harder to find… 😉 xoxo)

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#FlashbackFriday: The 2002 Pictorial Edition

(Big hugs to Eric for this fabulous #FlashbackFriday foto-set. 😉 I had a subscription to Playboy for years, and owned all of these at some point!! 🙂 Treasure the mammaries memories, my freaky fiends, and have a beautiful Suicide Squad-tastic weekend!! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Dita, DeDee, & Tiffany.

December

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(Not from the pictorial, but still appropriate for #FBF, I’d say. 😉 xoxo -D.P.)

February

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“They’re Coming to Get You, Barbara(s)”.

Hiya, Ho-rror Ho-mies!! 🙂 I took a few days off to spend Cryptmas with the fam, but now it’s time to start creeping my way back into the real world (and posting mode! :)). This week, two of the Screamiest, Dreamiest Queens of all time both celebrate birthdays: Ms. Barbara Crampton (December 27) and the ultra-legendary Ms. Barbara Steele (December 29). I can’t think of a better cure for any potential post-Ho-liday blues than lusting after these greatly gifted, gore-geous ghouls…Happy Birthdays, Blood-Soaked Beauties!! (Both of you clean up really well… ;)) xoxo

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Ps- I was lucky enough to get to dork it out with both these lovelies this year. <3

 

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Goon Reviews: Death-Scort Service

(I have totally been wanting to check this one out, and now I am officially adding this to my Must View Queue. Thanks for the rad review, Mr. Goon-y Goon. 😉 xoxo)

DEATH-SCORT SERVICE REVIEW (by Andrew Peters)

If there’s a film that features some good looking tattooed girls getting completely naked, there’s a good chance I’m going to clear my schedule for the evening so I can give that said film a watch. That’s what happened with Death-Scort Service, a title I really like because I can’t decide if it’s more cheeky than it is cheesy and it features a handful of babes and a buffet of blood.

The film comes from director Sean Donohue and Gatorblade films, in association with The Sleaze Box and boy, do they really bring you back to a time when shot-on-video movies ruled the horror section in the mom and pop video store. The movie loves to flaunt its lovely ladies who are kind enough to strut their fully nude, tops and bottoms, sexy bodies for the film, for your entertainment and pleasure and then to brutally massacre them in a barrage of excessive violence and gore and I mean that in a good way. Yes, gorgeous girls like Amanda Welch, Cayt Feinics, Jehz Ayala, Ashley Lynn Caputo, Alice Reigns, Bailey Paige and of course, Krystal Pixie (and my apologies to any I may have left out) are here for your pleasure and coat their naked bodies in some fantastically well done blood and guts.

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When you live in Las Vegas and there isn’t much to do, I guess you gotta kill local call girls. That’s the premise of Death-Scort Service in the broadest sense, but there’s a little more to it than that, even if it is just a little. Some maniac with a raspy voice that is in completely different audio quality than what was used to record sound for the rest of the movie is calling local Las Vegas call girls that all seem to live in the same place and paying them to strip… and die! One at a time, these vegas call girls are being murdered and one of them is beginning to notice that her roommates and fellow hookers are missing.

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And that scene repeats itself; creep calls the escorts, they say where to meet, they show up and get nekkid, they die, repeat. It isn’t until about twenty minutes in that one of them mentions this string of disappearing girls has been happening for some time and that her friend went missing. Nothing else is mentioned again until almost an hour in (and it’s the same thing), but that gap is filled with more death and nudity. Normally, I would get tired of that, but these girls keep it at that certain kind of sexy sleaze that I like. It doesn’t hurt that a weird, funky, but cheap soundtrack is looping. I’m not sure if it’s catchy or eating my brain.

Certainly, the film does have a conclusion with a twist. Two of the girls think the person making the phone calls is the killer. Screw calling the cops! They don’t care about hookers anyway and when you don’t have a pimp to protect you, it’s up to you. So they devise a plan, even though it’s not a well thought out plan, it’s still a plan nonetheless. What’s a girl to do when she makes her living turning tricks? Hooker’s justice! I love the idea.

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The film gleefully revels in being your peeping tom eye as the shots linger on the girls undressing, rubbing themselves down, bathing, being mutilated. It’s a closet pervert or voyeurs’ dream. I gotta hand it to Mr. Donohue; to me, these are some of the sexiest girls and it was a delight to watch them undress and do their thing. Of course there is a little something for the ladies. You get to see an old, bald bearded biker dude wag his dick and balls around. (“YES!!! SCORE!!!” -D.P.)) I kinda wish we would see more of that in movies.

But surely it’s more than gore and hot nude girls, right? Well, no. Not really. The little gaps in between are filled with the girl’s banter, which it’s best to say they are best left to their other *ahem* talents. But hey, it’s super low budget and shot-on-video, so it has an added charm to the overall mix.

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Given the title and the content that lies within the movie, it’s a nostalgic trip to the days of the small town video stores (you know the kind that had that dust and plastic smell), scanning through the horror movies and picking up the big box that’s all sun faded. The box art would feature some hot babe barely clothed and the title of the film would sound so awesome, you rented it without looking at the back. Then you get it home and realize that not only is the thing shot on a consumer grade camera, but the girl on the cover is nowhere to be found. You feel lied to, but you still watch it because you paid for it and it’s while watching it, you see how sleazy the film is. There is an undeniable charm. You feel dirty, but good about it. It’s that filthy little secret you can’t wait to show your friends. The massive amounts of gore and nudity are pleasing and when it’s over, you can’t wait to tell your friends about this hidden gem. That’s what Death-Scort Service was to me.

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If you are looking for something with a story and character arcs, you’re gonna want to look elsewhere. However, if you happen to be looking for an expose of some of the cutest tattooed girls being cut open and skinned alive, then Death-Scort Service is gonna be pleasing for you. It’s a film that’s going to leave you feeling dirty, but you’re gonna like it for that.

#FriskyFriday: The “Sucking More Than Blood” Edition.

Just a quickie post bc I have to get outta here to start Halloweening…I did wanna get some bewbage up first, though, because #priorities. 😉 (Thanks for your help with this, Eric, even if it isn’t eXXXactly the way you envisioned it. xoxo)

Hot Chicks Big Fangs (2013)

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Car Trouble.

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Vampire Bonnie Rotten arrives.

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She invites them to a Halloween party.

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Party Time!

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Vampire Romi Rain craves him.

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Vampire Destiny Dixon is wet and hungry.

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(She’s a rare vamp that can see her reflection.)

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New Guests.

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Vampire Monique Alexander is famished.

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Vampire Nikki Benz enjoys outdoor dining.

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A Little Later…

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The End.

#TataTuesday: The Outdoor Nudity (Ho-rror) Edition

(Thanks for the super spoop-tastic post, Smutmaster Eric, and Happy Tuesday Before Halloween, all my Kinky Ho-mies. Here’s an update from one of my favorite, uber-informative Tumblr blogs for ya:

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Just an update, in case you were curious. 😉 Now, on with the show!! 🙂 xoxo)

#TataTuesday: The Outdoor Nudity Horror Edition

Cheerleader Camp (1988)

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(w/ Teri Weigel)

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(w/ Betsy Russell Imagining Things)

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Nightmare Man (2006)

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(w/ Tiffany Shepis)

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Humanoids from the Deep (1980)

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(w/ Lisa Glaser)

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(w/ Linda Shayne)

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(Run Faster!)

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Zombeavers (2015)

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(w/ Cortney Palm)

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(Beaver Attack!)

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Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985)

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(w/ Debi Sue Voorhees)

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(w/ Imposter Jason Voorhees)

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#FriskyFriday Theatre Presents: The SeXXXy Adventures of Van Helsing

(Or, just every day for my ol’ pal, Van Helsing. Quite the kinkbot, that one!! 😉 Thanks for the always-rad post, Smutmaster Eric…Have an amazing weekend, my Ho-rny Ho-rrot Ho-mies, and rejoice in the fact that there are only 8 MORE DAYS TO HALLOWEEN!!! xoxoxo)

The Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing (2004)

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Van Helsing (Erika Smith)

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Dracula (Darian Crane)

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Smokin’ (Jessica Abbot)

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Duey (Tatiana Stone) & Klownie (Isadora Edison)

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Hottie (Andrea Davis), Klownie, & Dracula

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Duey, Dracula & Smokin’

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The KH Ho-rror Ho-st Hall of Infamy: Halloween Goddesses Edition.

“It’s a perfect night for mystery and horror. The air itself is filled with monsters.”

-Elsa Lanchester as Mary Shelley in Bride of Frankenstein

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The most wonderful, magical, terrifically terrifying time of the year is upon us now with a ghastly vengeance! That’s right, FIENDS…Halloween is ALMOST HERE!!!!! Now is time to Ho-nor our dearest monsters and the Ho-riffic Ho-sts who brought them to us in our living rooms. This month, we salute the two indisputable Queens of Ho-rror Ho-sting. Elvira and Vampira have both been inducted into our Ho-rror Ho-st Hall of Infamy during this, the most glorious month of all!! 🙂

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Alas, for someone as influential and iconic as Vampira, footage of Maila Nurmi is shockingly hard to cum by. Despite that, there is no denying that Vampira has left her silky, black imprint on pop culture. Legend goes that Vampira dressed as the Charles Addams character who would later be known as Morticia at Lester Horton’s annual Bal Caribe Masquerade. Nurmi caught the attention of producer Hunt Stromberg Jr., and the rest is, as they say, her-story.

Each show opened with Vampira floating down a pitch-dark corridor flooded with dry-ice fog. At the end of her eerie stroll, the camera zoomed in on her face as she let out a piercing scream. She would then introduce (and mock) that evening’s film while reclining barefoot on a skull-encrusted Victorian couch. That, my friends, is the kind of simple perfection that would inspire Ho-st ghouls for years! Rumors persist that she was the model for Maleficent, the evil witch in the Disney conception of the classic fairy tale “Sleeping Beauty.” Nurmi was also close friends with James Dean and was supportive of the punk rock movement. She was truly the ultimate rebel ghoul icon.

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As the ’50s died, so did the tradition of the Ho-rror Ho-st. Ho-wever, one Cassandra “Elvira” Peterson not only took up Vampira’s mantle, but brought it smack dab to the middle of mainstream (in a VERY big way ;)). While Ms. Peterson obviously owes a lot to Vampira, her valley girl accent and contemporary sense of camp brought fresh (after)life to the idea of the fun, seXXXy vamp. Elvira was the face (and more… ;)) of B-movies, presenting in the totally tubular ’80s (and beyond…). Elvira starred in two feature films (fingers crossed for more! )), and has Ho-sted many theme park attractions (including a turn at Knott’s Scary Farm this year).

Unpleasant dreams, kiddies!! (Thanks in LARGE part to these forever gore-geous glamour ghouls! ;)) xoxoxo

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#WetWednesday: The “Wash My Back and Front” Edition

(Big thanks to Eric for making sure we all have a Wet and Wild Wednesday!! 😉 xo)

Baby Dolls Behind Bars (2012)

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(w/ Erika Jordan, Christine Nguyen & Jazy Berlin)

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Conception (2012)

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(w/ America Olivo)

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The Specialist (1994)

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(w/ Sharon Stone)

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Grindhouse XXX: A Double Feature (2011)

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(w/ Nina Mercedes and Teagan Presley)

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Ho-stess’s Note: I wanted to get in on some of this wicked #WetWednesday action, too!! 😉 xoxo

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