Happy 421! ;)

Ok, so after this post, I promise to get my shizzle together and start posting things on the appropriate day (for at least one whole week…THIS I VOW!!! ;)), but for today let’s just enjoy a drug-induced #FBF together, shall we?

If I had posted this on time I wouldn’t have been able to post these pics from last night’s premiere screening of Evil Bong 666, so yay weed, basically. 😉

I was maybe a lil’ high during this screening, so I didn’t cover it as well as I might have otherwise. Here’s an eXXXample of my crackin’ coverage:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! High-larious, amirite??? If you want conventional coverage of the night’s festivities, you can check out Full Moon’s official vidcast right here:

And here’s a bunch of weed-y stuff I should’ve posted yesterday, but I’ll be darned if I’m gonna let being late by one day KILL our buzz…Happy Four Twenty (One ;), Kinky Ho-mies!! 🙂 xoxo

 

Goon Review: Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse Soundtrack

(Submitted by Mr. Andrew Peters…Rock on, Ho-rror Ho-mies! 😉 xo)

Even though Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest wasn’t a hit with the fans, Konami still made a sequel, but decided to bring it back to its original roots and becoming more of the simple side-scrolling game that the first Castlevania was. Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse wasn’t just a retread. Not only was it a prequel to the first game, taking place centuries before those events, it also offered the player the ability to switch between playable characters and also take branching paths during certain points in the game. That’s Konami for you. Well, the old Konami. Always thinking outside the box.

The music this time around was different, but still in the same spirit, if that makes sense. In Dracula’s Curse, the tone seems to be much darker and it lacks that poppy punch (that’s the best way that I can describe it) that Simon’s Quest had. I guess the idea was to make it seem more gothic horror, having a much more metallic tinge and slower pace. It certainly fits the image that would pop into your head when you think of Dracula; a dark, blue evening with a full moon reflecting on a thick fog that masks danger. However coming off of Simon’s Quest that arguably has the best score in the entire series, Dracula’s Curse seems to lack that action-hearted punch. Not to say that it’s bad or anything, I just enjoy Simon’s Quest more thoroughly. The soundtrack, not the game.

Mondo’s presentation of Dracula’s Curse, however, is not lacking. The original artwork from Sachin Teng is hypnotically eye catching, making your brain try and piece it all together. Another thing you’ll notice right away is that this soundtrack is spread across two 12″ 180 Gram LPs, one Famicom and the other NES. Both versions have the same 28 tracks (which, by the way, is amazing amount of tracks for an NES game), but once again just as with Simon’s Quest, the Famicom version has a much more rustic sound than the NES version and for this soundtrack, I actually prefer the Famicom version. I feel like it has a much more gothic horror and atmospheric sound and it fits what I feel the game was trying to accomplish. Having said that, I do like the NES version of Stage 01, Beginning and Stage 06, Demon Seed better. Both have a higher energy that their Famicom counterparts don’t seem to have and those are some jazzy, energetic tracks. Konami Kukeiha Club once again did a fantastic job capturing a nightmarish batch of tunes perfectly fitting for a Castlevania game.

The records themselves are really beautiful too. The vinyls I received are orange with some black splatter all over them with tinges of white or silver here and there. There is a variant for you collectors out there, disc one is Trevor Bronze and Alucard Black and disc two is Grant Maroon and Sypha Blue. I haven’t seen those for myself, but I can imagine they are quite a sight to behold.

There’s no better way to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the Castlevania series than with these Mondo soundtracks. Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse goes for $30 and while the split colored version is sold out, the orange with black splatter is still available, so get it while it’s hot.

 

Health Care: The Medical Attention Edition, Part 2

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric, the kinkiest ho-mie a gal could ask for. 😉 Thanks, my freaky friend! 🙂 xoxo)

The Give A Fuck Foundation (2012)

While masturbating on her off time, the hospital administrator wonders in to visit Dr. Lezley Zen M.D. After that she goes to see a patient (Michael Vegas).

Anything Else (2003)

Jerry Falk (Jason Biggs) learns a lesson the hard way when he falls head over heels in love with a beautiful but flighty girl, Amanda (Christina Ricci).

Black Dynamite (2009)

Black Dynamite (Michael Jai White) is the greatest African-American action star of the 1970s. When his only brother is killed by The Man it’s up to him to find justice.

Joy Mulligan/Stacy Adams as Nurse.


Ho-stess’s PS#TBT to my own Doctor Adventure. 🙂

Stockings & Garter Belts: The Ho-siery Edition, Part 1

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, King o’Kink!! 😉 xoxo)

Featuring: Rhonda Shear, Jenny McCarthy, Tim Curry, Angelina Valentine & Monique Parent.

Playboy Oct (1993)

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

The Girl from the Naked Eye (2012)

The Key to Sex (1999)


Ho-stess’s PS– I was known to enjoy wearing stockings and garter belts back in my “secretary” (or teacher…or boss lady…I’ve lost track) days. 😉 xoxo

#ThreesomeThursday: The Stepmom Teaches Edition

(Submitted by none other than Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-miebot!! 🙂 xoxo)

Stop Fucking My Boyfriends Mom (2016)

Description:

India Summer loves to sneak her stepdaughter Adria Rae’s boyfriends into the sack. Damon Dice, Adria’s new boyfriend, is next in line to be her conquest. She asks her mom to not fuck her boyfriend, and India promises she’ll try.

Damon resists India’s advances in the kitchen, and goes off to find Adria. Strutting out of the kitchen, India drops clothes every step of the way, finds Damon frantically jacking it in the hallway (as he watches Adria), pushes him against the wall and starts sucking on his cock. When Adria comes out of her room and finds them, India offers to turn the awkward situation into a learning experience.

Use What You Got (2015)

Description:

Jessy Jones is enjoying some time to himself when his stepmom India Summer walks in on him masturbating. When India tries to talk about it, Jessy confesses his concerns about whether size matters and his ability to please his girlfriend Alli Rae. After a bit of discussion, India suggests that maybe Jessy needs to build up his stamina and then offers to give him some insight on his penis size.

While India is giving him advice on how to use it, Alli arrives. Watching India suck off her boyfriend’s cock gets her turned on, and the two decide to work together to help Jessy increase his confidence and get over his problem of cumming too fast.

Ho-stess’s PS- Me as a a Stepmom/Educator. 😉 #TBT

Horror High: The “Urban Legend is Badass” Edition. ;)

Hiya, ho-mies! Here’s a dorky lil’ thing I did to celebrate the wonder and magic of Urban Legend…Ho-pe you like it as much as I love pop rocks and coke!! 😉 xoxo

#SexOnSunday: The Outdoor Sex Edition, Part 4

(Submitted by our beloved Smutmaster Eric…Thank you, Kinky McHo-miebot! 🙂 xoxo)

Erotico Vol. 2 (2014)

Erotico is comprised of six vignettes, I’ve excluded shots from #1 (w/ Stoya) and #3, it’s indoors.

#2. Madison Ivy & Tommy Gunn

#4. Madison Ivy & Tyler Nixon

#5. Rikki Sixx & Seth Gamble

#6. Selena Rose (now Santana) & Chad White

Cougar’s Prey Vol. 4 (2010)

Featuring: Diana Prince & Chris Johnson

Happy St. Patrick’s Day: The Irish Ladies Edition

(Submitted for your ho-liday viewing pleasure by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, my festive fiend!! 🙂 xoxo)
Brittany O’Connell
Born: December 06, 1972
She’s of mixed Irish, Swedish, and Russian descent. Brittany was raised in Phoenix, Arizona. O’Connell originally wanted to be an Olympic skater and both taught and studied gymnastics. She attended an all-girl private school and graduated from high school at age 17. O’Connell began her career in the adult entertainment industry at age 18 as a nude dancer in a strip club. Brittany started performing in explicit hardcore movies at age 19 in 1992 and by age 25 had already appeared in over 200 adult features.
Before she got into porn, she was a cashier at a WalMart in Phoenix, Arizona.
Sara Bolger
Born: 28 February 1991, Dublin Ireland
She is best known for her roles in the films In America (2002), Stormbreaker, and The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008), as well as her award winning role as Lady Mary Tudor in the TV series The Tudors (2007), and for guest starring as Princess Aurora in Once Upon a Time (2011).
Starring in:
Emelie (2016)
A couple’s replacement babysitter turns out to be more than they bargained for when she subjects their kids to a series of twisted activities.

Kylie Ireland

Other Name: DeeKay (as a street artist)

Born: May 26, 1970, Longmont, CO

She’s an American pornographic actress, film director, producer, publicist, and Satellite radio show host. She is an inductee into the AVN, XRCO, and NightMoves Halls of Fame. She entered the pornographic film industry in 1994, through an acquaintance with glamour photographer Warren Tang. Her first films were L’il Ms. Behaved, where she performed with Randy West, and Up & Cummers 10, with Jenna Jameson; she started at the same time as Jameson.

Chose the name Kylie because she is a fan of singer/actress Kylie Minogue. Chose the name Ireland due to her Irish heritage.

Ho-stess’s PS- Kiss me…I’m Irish, too!! 🙂 Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Kinky Ho-mies!! 🙂 xoxo

Happy Birthday, Buffy!! :)


Ho-ly Hellmouth! I can’t believe Buffy the Vampire Slayer is 20 years old today! This is my absolute favorite show of all time, and the fact that sooooooo many people are still celebrating its ass-kicking, vampire-slayin’ glory two decades later is pretty freaking amazing!

Joss Whedon took the cute blonde girl who often dies first in the average horror film and made her a complete and utter badass. She was the one the Creatures of the Night feared. Buffy was a strong female headlining traditionally masculine “action hero” storylines who kicked open the door for more badass babes starring in major shows.

BTVS easily could have been a total campfest, but it respected its characters, genre, and audience. It showed us that slaying vampires and demons could be a total blast (obviously ;)), but still possessed an uncommon depth and make us truly care for its misfits. Buffy was an incredibly smart and important show that will always have a big ol’ stake-shaped place in my heart…#SCOOBYGANG4EVAH!! xoxo

PS- Spike is the seXXXiest vampire ever!!! Suck it, Lestat! 😉 xoxo

PPS- Giles was also freaking hawt…I was sooooo jealous of Ms. Calendar (until…well, you know.)

PPS- I was inspired to do a quickie Buffy tribute today for my weekly #FreedomFriday offering. 🙂

Have a Heart: The Valentine’s Day Edition

(Submitted with eXXXtra love today by Smutmaster Ho-peless Romantic Eric, who also happened to pen the poetry included in this post….Thanks, Ho-rrorday Ho-mie. You’re a man of many tit-illating talents!! 😉 xoxo)

If you’re alone on Valentine’s Day or have someone sweet in your life, do your best to keep it a secret from your husband or wife. 😉

Rose are red, violets are blue. There are better horror movies, but on this day, these will have to do. 🙂

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

Trivia: Was filmed on location in Sydney Mines, Nova Scotia, Canada. It had 9 minutes cut by the MPAA due to the amount of violence and gore. Actress Pat Hemingway (w/ a heart tattoo) only appeared in two movies.


My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)

Trivia: The first R-rated film to be projected in RealD technology and to have a wide release (1,000 locations) in 3D-enabled theaters.

IMO: Betsy Rue has the best sex/nude scene in any horror movie! (And Your Ho-stess seconds that opinion…She’s sincerely my hero for this! :))

Bonus:

Foreign Posters

Ho-stess’s PS- My Bloody Valentine is clearly the glamour choice, but I loves me some Valentine, too. 🙂

Ho-stess’s PPS On Valentine’s Day, you’ve just gotta go with the flow… 😉 HAPPY BLOODY VALENTINE’S DAY, KINKY HO-MIES! 🙂 xoxo

Ho-stess’s PPPSSS This. 🙂