#WerewolfWednesday: The Mad Monster (1942)

Howl-dy, hairy fiends!

Give it up for the Wolfman, boils and ghouls, ’cause it’s another wild ‘n’ dangerous #WerewolfWednesday!

For today’s loony lunar lark, we’ve got a cl-Ass-Sick howler from 1942, it’s The Mad Monster!

No! Not Mad Monster Party! The Mad Monster! Sheesh! Good minions are so hard to find these days! ūüėČ


The Mad Monster is a groovy poverty row chiller-diller made by PRC to capitalize on the success of The Wolf Man. It stars the great George Zucco and Glenn Strange, years before his Frankenstein met Abbott and Costello. The plot concerns a mad scientist (‘natch) who develops a formula that turns his simple-minded gardener into a hideous werewolf… Yikes! That’s the only time a hair growth formula has worked TOO well!

George Zucco’s at his most marvelously mad here, serving up more tasty ham than a Christmas dinner. Glenn Strange is great in a turn that brings to mind Lon Chaney Jr. in both The Wolf Man and Of Mice and Men. On top of those wonderful performances, the film also has plenty o’ cl-Ass-ical frights ‘n’ delights to satisfy all you old-school ho-rror ho-unds out there. ūüôā

Do you dare face the ho-rror of… The Mad Monster?!

#TerrorTrailerTuesday: The “Invisible Touch” Edition

Ho-wdy, Ho-rror Ho-mies!

On this #TerrorTrailerTuesday, we’re paying tribute to a groovy cat who’s real outtasight…

Yes, it’s the Invisible Man, the villain beyond vision! The fiend who can’t be seen! The scourge of locker rooms everywhere! H.G. Wells’ Fantastic Sensation!

While we take it for granted these days, the idea of the invisible man is truly frightening (and ho-rnifying… ;)) one. To quote Claude Rains as the invisible one, “An invisible man can rule the world. Nobody will see him come, nobody will see him go. He can hear every secret. He can rob, and rape, and kill!” I mean, there’s a reason that ho-rror filmmakers have been telling Invisible Man stories for decades now. The threat has all the malevolence and cunning of a sinister genius, but with no way of detecting him.

Of corpse, others have seen the funny side of this kinky kreep. After all, the Invisible Man can’t be invisible without going… au naturel. I daresay there are just as many Invisible Man comedies as there are terror tales. Even James Whale’s The Invisible Man is loaded with large helpings of black comedy. Guess you can’t spell “slaughter” without “laughter”… ūüėČ

Whether you like him scary, silly, or just plain seXXXy, it’s as clear as the monster himself that the Invisible Man is a true icon.
So without further a-BOO, here are the terrifying trailers to top off your #TerrorTuesday. ūüôā xoxo

Ho-rrificly Ho-rnifying Bonus: The seXXXy scene that launched a zillion Invisible Man fantasies (at least for me ;)).

#MonsterMovieMonday: The Brain That Wouldn’t Die

Ho-wdy, Ho-rror Headhunters, and Happy Slay-borday!! ūüėČ It’s another #MonsterMovieMonday here at Kinky Ho-rror, so we’re serving up a head-y dose of cranial creepiness with a cl-Ass-Sick fright film called…

Y’know, most scientists have a pretty good head on their shoulders… but Dr. Bill Cortner has an even better one in a pan!

At least, he has ever since his fiance, Jan, lost her head in a most literal sense. Using some of that ol’ mad science, he keeps her head alive and searches for a new body for his bride-to-be. Howl-ever, Jan-in-the-Pan is less than thrilled with her body-less existence, so she calls upon a literal monster in the closet to help her get revenge. If all that sounds weird, it’s only because it is.

Yessiree. Kinky Kreeps… this one’s a favorite o’ mine. Some call it “So Bad, it’s Good”, I call it an eccentric cl-Ass-Sick. Audacious, delightfully sleazy, and weird all over… this one’s unforgettable! There’s plenty o’ gratuitous cheesecake and some fairly strong gore for its time. And in its own goofy way, the film is a pretty engaging sci-fi melodrama. It boasts some pretty good camerawork and a strong central performance from Virginia Leith as the fiend without a body. As far as insane B-movies go, this one’s a-head of the curve.]Use your head… check out this freaky fright film below! ūüôā xoxo

#SexOnSunday: The Sci-Fi Parodies Edition

(Submitted for your scientific approval by one Mr. Smutmaser Eric…Thanks so much, Kinky Ho-miebot, and Happy Sunday Funday to all my lil’ Kinky Ho-s! ūüôā xoxo)

Ass Effect: A XXX Parody (2017)

Runtime: 22 min

Commander Shepard (Eric Everhard) visits non-human¬†researcher Dr.¬†Liara T’Soni (Rachel Starr) to discuss¬†an attack by Cerberus, a¬†human-survivalist paramilitary group led by the enigmatic Illusive Man. He suggests she should’ve known what Cerberus was planning. She¬†says he’s not really here¬†to discuss that, then switches¬†the topic to a woman named Miranda¬†he’s been¬†with. He¬†admits he has, then they start fucking soon after

Guardians of the Gonads: A DP XXX Parody (2017)

Runtime: 24 min

The galaxy has a new enemy: The Universal Church of Truth.

The mysterious Magus is their one God – the beautiful Matriarch, their figurehead.

They have one aim…convert the universe by any means possible! The galaxy must respond.

Star-Lord (Michael Vegas) & Gamora (Cassidy Klein) take on this mission without the others.

Kinky Komic Book Review: Riverdale #2

(Submitted by Mr. Prince Adam…Thank you, Super Friend! ūüôā xoxo)

“Set in the same universe as the hit CW series, Riverdale continues to reveal untold stories of the world’s most famous teenagers. When five students from different social cliques (Archie, Betty, Veronica, Jugghead, and Josie) end up in¬†Saturday¬†detention together — will they kill each other or come together against the forces of evil that brought them there?” (Archie Comics)

If you love the film The Breakfast Club, then you will love this book.¬†¬†This is the comic book’s homage to that classic 80’s coming of age film.¬†¬†Heck, the title of the film is the title of this¬†¬†issue and there are at least three characters in the book who reference the film.¬†Archie even mentions having never seen the film.¬†¬†That’s the hardest part of this book to believe, that someone hasn’t seen The Breakfast Club.¬†¬†The fact that the film is spoken by name, as well as social media such as twitter, sets Riverdale as existing in the real world.¬†¬†I’m glad this is the case because these characters are your average teenagers, meaning there’s no need to create a alternate world for them to inhabit.¬†¬†Narratively, the issue is bookended by present day and time scenes, but the bulk of the issue is a flashback to the food fight, that landed them in detention.¬†¬†After Josie, of “Josie and the Pussycats” fame singles out relative new girl Veronica Lodge for starting the food fight, we get a look back at what everyone was doing during the food fight.

Archie tuned up his guitar and stood up on a table, ready to give an impromptu concert.¬†¬†However, his crippling fear of performing in front of people prevents him from going through with it.¬†¬†This is technically, the first mention of Archie’s desire to be a musician and sets up his rivalry with Josie. It also sets up the dichotomy of wanting to be a performer, yet being shy about performing in front of others. We see him battle and to a degree, overcome this fear in the back half of season 1 but here, it’s really fresh.¬†¬†Also, a fear of public speaking/performing is a fear I’ve had back in high school, so I absolutely feel for him.¬†¬†Veronica Lodge was helping her friend Kevin set up a Gay/Straight school alliance, to try and decipher all the gay students in the school, and get their numbers so Kevin could get a date.¬†¬†Sure, setting up a school group just to get a date seems a little overboard.¬†¬†Though I purposely wrote an essay filled with errors, as well as the backup one with suspected corrections I’d need to make, because I had¬†¬†really hot teacher that I wanted to spend more time with before class. Of course, nothing happened, but she was hot, so the extra time was so worth it!¬†¬†Anyway, the true take away from this scene, which continues on from issue #1, is that while Veronica has an attitude and a chip on her shoulder, she is intensely giving and fiercely protective of her friends.¬†¬†She admits that she got involved in the food fight, when a football jock insulted her and Kevin but she didn’t start the fight.¬†¬†As for Betty and Jugghead, Betty was doing research for an article she is writing for the school paper.¬†¬†One of the books she is reading is The Story of O, an erotic novel.¬†¬†When Jugghead discovers this, he playfully chastises Betty.¬†¬†However, when Cheryl grabs the book and starts referring to Betty and her sister as freaks and outcasts.¬†¬†The reference to Betty’s sister, is the first mention of Betty’s sister and Cheryl’s brother having dated and that it ending badly.¬†¬†As Cheryl berates her, we can see darkness and anger building up and erupting in Betty, as she throws a piece of pie at the back of Cheryl.¬†¬†Betty’s anger and darkness gets heightened in Season 1¬†¬†but you see it in it’s infancy here.¬†¬†Without spoiling anything, I hope Betty’s emotional state is explored more in this comic and in Season 2.¬†¬†I like that the instigator of the food fight was Betty, the goody two shoes you’d lest expect.¬†¬†The book ends with detention ending and the gang sans Josie, sharing a meal at Pop’s Dinner.

Joe Eisma is back on art but this time is joined by fellow artist Thomas Pitilli.¬†¬†Their artwork looks so similar, that when one ends and the other begins, it is hardly noticeable.¬†¬†Each artist has certain characters who they excel at drawing though.¬†¬†Joe Eisma’s strength is Archie, Josie, and Jugghead, while Thomas Pitilli draws a great Veronica, Cheryl and Betty. The opening image of the gang sitting in detention continues the theme of homage for The Breakfast Club. The position of the characters, and the location being the school library, is an exact replica of the film.¬†¬†If the cover didn’t say Riverdale, you might think this was a comic book adaptation of the film.¬†The image of Archie about to perform his impromptu cafeteria concert is great.¬†¬†The detail is so strong, that you can not only see, but almost feel his crippling anxiety.¬†¬†The scene where Betty snaps at Cheryl before she starts the food fight is very evocative on several levels.¬†¬†First, you can see Betty’s face scrunching and teeth gritting in anger.¬†¬†Adding to it, is the temporary black and purple color scheme in this panel almost makes it seem like we’ve gone into Betty’s mind and are seeing her anger actual emerge from the recesses of her mind. Kudos to¬†¬†colorist Andre Szymanowicz.¬†¬†Without him, this effect doesn’t happen.¬†¬†My favourite page is definitely the food fight.¬†¬†It’s so messy and chaotic.¬†¬†There are later panels that isolate the food fight, from our main characters perspective but the main splash page is so chaotic. Also, somehow artist Thomas Pitilli has made Cheryl Blossom even more bitchy looking.¬†¬†In his hands, her natural resting look is “Bitchy Face.”

The second issue doesn’t move the story along, instead being more of a character study of sorts. Last issue, I said it worked as both a prequel and a continuation of the TV series.¬†¬†This issue is clearly more of a prequel to the story told in season 1.¬†¬†It’ll be interesting to see if the series tries to juggle telling prequel stories, or if it toggles between prequels and concurrent stories.¬†¬†If you’re a fan or the show or the characters from the comic books, you’ll like this book.¬†¬†Even if you don’t love Archie or Riverdale, you’ll still want to read this if you love The Breakfast Club. And who doesn’t!?

Movie Review: Death Note (2017)

(Ho-wdy, Ho-rror Ho-mies…Apologies for dropping the ball a bit around here for the last little bit. I had some personal matters to attend to, butt now I’m back in action and ready to make the spookening happen. ūüôā First up, a review of something near and dear to my cold, black heart…Death Note. This take on the new NetfliXXX adaptation presented by Mr. Anton Phibes…Thanks for the interesting input, Kinky Kolleague! ūüôā xoxo)

It’s a tired cliche to say that the pen is mightier than the sword, but that old chestnut is given new gravity in Adam Wingard’s Death Note, an American incarnation of the popular Japanese franchise. In the film, a few strokes of a pen etched within a most peculiar notebook are all it takes to kill anyone at anytime. Imbued with the abilities of a literal death god, the titular “Death Note” is the murder weapon to end all murder weapons: elegant, efficient, and damn-near impossible to trace. The notebook’s current owner uses its awesome power to purge the world of those he deems evil, resulting in an epic battle of wits between the wielder of the book and those who seek to stop him.

Since 2003, Death Note has been adapted many times over. Starting with the anime adaptation of the original manga, each interpretation retains the primary characters and certain scenes, but always tells its own version of the tale, with new twists and wrinkles. However, despite the many variations on the same story, it seems most adapters agree that the material is simply too much to tell one outing. The manga spawned 12 volumes, the anime series has 37 episodes, the Japanese live-action films gave its take in two films, and the live-action mini-series had 11 episodes. Regardless of the changes made, Death Note is still a massive story.
And that is where the problems begin. A story as sprawling as Death Note shouldn’t be confined to a little over 90 mins. ¬†The picture feels rushed and overloaded, losing much of the power previous tellings had. What’s worse is that precious screen time is spent on paltry teen drama that exists in no other version. Instead of building up the rivalry between the murderous Light and the detective L that’s so central to the franchise, it places emphasis on a boring girlfriend character who would not be out of place in a Disney Channel movie. Much of the suspense is replaced with teen angst, questions on the nature of justice are tossed out for bland romance, ¬†and the Light depicted here is more of an awkward teenager than a diabolical vigilante.¬†The entire affair has the unfortunate quality of feeling like a man in an iron maiden: cramped and bloodless.

Despite these considerable flaws, I actually did find quite a bit to love here. Adam Wingard’s direction is superbly stylishly, with extraordinary color usage, some fun death scenes, and some truly moody moments. Light’s character is significantly neutered compared to previous takes, but Nate Wolff does an admirable job as this version of the character. ¬†The other performances range from pretty good to downright excellent, with Lakeith Stanfield’s L and Willem Dafoe as the death god Ryuk emerging on top. Speaking of Ryuk, the effects used to bring him to life(?) are simply marvelous, giving him a Satanic grace and a perfectly demonic appearance.

Death Note¬†is likely to disappoint fans of the source material, but may be of interest to those who love teen horror. There are moments that evoke the black magic of the franchise, but it’s best taken as on its own. ¬†Wingard’s film is deeply flawed, but not without flashes of greatness. Perhaps if he makes that rumored sequel, Wingard will deliver a film that lives up to the both his own potential and that of the material. There’s still time to make us see the Light.

Beach Party a Go-Go, Part 3

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie! :))


Featuring: Jeana Tomasina, Val Kline, Debra Blee, James Daughton, Gal Godot, Deborah Richter, Jill Schoelen, D P & Julie Brown

The Beach Girls (1982)

Wonder Woman (2017)

Hot Moves (1984)

#FreedomFriday (2016)

Earth Girls Are Easy (1988)

#SendMeBackSaturday: The “Don’t Feed the Plants” Edition

Howdy, Human Ho-mies!

So, we just had a total eclipse of the sun this week…

Based on the fact that you are reading this, it’s safe to assume that the world has not been annihilated by botanical beasts from beyond. Which is of Corpse a good thing for us fleshy, leafless folks. Howl-ever, imagine if that weren’t the case. Imagine if something as seemingly innocent as a house plant appeared out of nowhere during the eclipse and slowly planted the seeds of our extinction. Well, it would be a lot like…
Now, I’m sure you’re all familiar with that maniacal musical masterpiece… and its ending. You know, where they kill the monster and live happily ever after, right? It’s as traditional as monster movie endings get and that’s not necessarily bad thing. I mean, of Corpse Rick “God’s Perfect SeXXX Machine” Moranis would win the fight and get the girl, right?

Believe it or not, the original ending was far darker and, in my opinion, far more satisfying. As much as I adore the godly perfection that is Rick Moranis, Seymour was kind of a creep. He murdered his way through the story and willingly fed a monster from outer space. Sure, the charm of Manly Moranis made us overlook his misdeeds, but he’s totally the type of character who would get some sort of ghastly punishment in EC-style fright fare… and he initially did!
¬†In the film’s initial conclusion, Seymour is eaten by the mean, green Audrey II, just as he was in the original play. Now, if that were it, I think I’d be fine with letting Seymour get his fairytale ending, regardless of whether or not he deserved it… but what happened after that is so wonderfully monstrous that it is truly a shame that it got cut. It’s everything a monster movie fan could Axe for: giant creatures destroying buildings, ho-rrifying practical effects, morbid gags, Harryhausen homages, and just the kind of macabre spectacle we eat up here at Kinky Horror.
Unfortunately, audiences didn’t care for it, so they shot the simpler, happier ending that ended up the final film. Guess I can’t blame them for sparing the marvelous Moranis, but the original is just too amazing . It almost works as a short monster movie on its own… and we’ve dug it up for viewing pleasure!
Enjoy the madness below, Kinky Kreeps!

News Bleed: The “Victor Crowley’s Revenge” Edition

Jumpin’ Jiminy Christmas! Martin Scorsese is producing a Joker movie! Deadline

Help George A. Romero get his well-earned Hollywood Walk of Fame star! ūüôā Dread Central

Eli Roth does his spooky thing for a Halloween Horror Nights commercial! People

In the Upside Down, no one can hear you scream… check out this Alien-inspired poster for Stranger Things! Screen Rant

Cult of Chucky ‚ÄúSets Up World of Infinite Possibilities‚ÄĚ for the franchise‚Äôs future. ūüôā Bloody Disgusting

The Doctor is in… the new Thor: Ragnarok trailer gets Strange. ūüôā comicbook

Victor Crowley returns in this teaser for the Hatchet reboot! ūüôā Entertainment Weekly

News Bleed: The “Cult of the Zombie” Edition

The new American Horror Story: Cult opening credits are here! ūüôā Variety

Dead Snow 3 is rising from the grave and it will feature Zombie Hitler. :O Entertainment Weekly

Cult favorite Todd & the Book of Pure Evil gets (Re)Animated! Bloody Disgusting

Rob Zombie will bring 13 Nights of Halloween! ūüôā PopCulture

Trick ‘r Treat creeps into Halloween Horror Nights as a scarezone! Inside the Magic

Comedy legend Jerry Lewis has passed away. ūüôĀ New York Times

Predator‘s Sonny Landham has also passed away. ūüôĀ #lifeamirite?? LA Times