Splatterday Mourning Cartoons: Scooby Doo – Nightfright

Ho-wdy, Meddling Kids!

I don’t know about you cats, but I think Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated is HIGH-LY underrated!

There are more incarnations of Scooby-Doo then there are stars in the sky, but Mystery Incorporated  tried to shake things up, while still staying true to the spirit of Scooby-Doo. Cl-ass-sick characters are fleshed out, the monsters are menacing, and it had a genuinely intriguing mystery element. Plus, it had a surprising dark tone. I mean…
Dark!

This was a Scooby-Doo that really knew to give you the willies!

And it had monsters! By Cthulhu, did it have monsters!


Its backgrounds were simply gore-gous! I’d proudly hang any of these in my tomb!
Beast of all, the show was clearly made for us fright freaks. Nearly every episode is loaded with references to the best genre media has to offer. From Twin Peaks..

…to Phantom of the Paradise

This guy’s name is WINSLOW FLEACH

… to Hellraiser

…to a Jeffrey Combs-voiced H.P. Lovecraft parody….
…to Harlan Ellison voicing Harlan Ellison (!)…

…to an entire episode paying homage to War of the Gargantuas. They even include the song from the movie!


In ho-nor of this underrated cartoon, we’ve provided our absolute favorite episode! It’s one big tribute to the greatness of Vincent Price, with plenty o’ nods to the Merchant of Menace!
Happy Splatterday, Kinky Ho-mies! 🙂 xoxo


 

Bride of #TBT: The “Dracula: Cereal Killer” Edition

Ho-wdy, Creatures of the Night!
Since we just escaped the clutches of a werewolf, let’s take look at its ancient enemy: the vampire!
And not just any rinky-dink vampire! We’re talkin’ ’bout the king of all vampires, the Prince of Darkness, one bad bloodsucka… Count Dracula!
Dracula’s met a LLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOTTT o’ monsters over the years… Frankenstein, The Wolf-Man, and other great ghouls… but there is one that stands above the rest: Count Chocula!
Yessiree, Count Chocula met the real Drac back in 1987! Unfortunately, due to controversy (the medallion Drac wears appears to be a Star of David), the pairing didn’t last long and the box was pulled off shelves. However, what we got was pretty groovy. In addition to that sweet box above, we also got this awesome commercial below:

If the next Dark Universe films are anything like that, I’m in!

It’s true what they say: Ladies Love Draculas. 😉 Fangs a lot, Counts! 🙂 xoxo

News Bleed: The “Applause for Jaws” Edition

Hatchet slashes its way back to theater for its 10th anniversary! 🙂 Entertainment Weekly

These unearthed photos from the unaired Nightmare on Elm Street reality show are a dream! 🙂 Bloody Disgusting

The Alien: Covenant Blu Ray will be bursting with unseen footage! Digital Spy

Sink your teeth into Mondo’s vinyl release of the Jaws soundtrack! /FILM

Shhh… a new image from It appears on the cover of a French magazine. CBR

Stranger Things are afoot at Funko. 🙂 Dread Central

Goon Reviews: Motel Hell (1980)

(Submitted by our Ho-rror Ho-mie, Mr. Andrew Peters…Thanks, Sinister Sir! 🙂 xoxo)

When The Texas Chainsaw Massacre hit the scene in 1974, it was huge. There was nothing quite like it to say the least. No other horror movie had presented itself in that way, so the imitators were sure to follow, although none of them would really come close. In 1980, Motel Hell would come pretty close, but just misses the mark and not in a bad way. In fact, Tobe Hooper (the director of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) was originally slated to direct. Whereas TCM is dark and grisly, Motel Hell has a whole lot of charm and is quite a lot of fun… you know, for a movie about kidnapping/abducting, murder and cannibalism. As much as I love TCM, you can’t say the same thing, simply because it’s not meant to be.

Motel Hell actually feels more like a cash-in of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2, which wouldn’t happen for another five years. It’s odd that a film that didn’t intend on parodying the original TCM ended up blending horror and comedy decently that TCM2 would later also do. However, I don’t feel that Motel Hell is quite as dark as TCM2, not to take anything away from it still being a good film. In fact, Motel Hell was supposed to be much more dark with more violence and gore and included much more disturbing moments in the film, like a bestiality scene. There’s something the TCM films never had. In the end, the tone was lightened, the gore was used sparingly and what we got was still a fairly humorous and entertaining horror comedy armed with one of the best taglines, “It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent fritters!” An obvious nod at the cannibalism in the movie, but a hint at what Farmer Vincent puts in his famous smoked meats, unbeknownst to his customers.

Along with his sister Ida, Farmer Vincent (played by legendary Rory Calhoun) run the Motel Hello – which for fun acts as the title card as the “o” in “Hello” flickers dimly – where they don’t seem to get a whole lot of customers. I guess that’s okay since they are able to keep up their farm and… well now I am just thinking about how weird having a farm and a hotel next to each other is. This is getting into Eaten Alive territory, another Tobe Hooper film. You think all those bills would be stacking up, but it seems like Vincent’s famous smoked meat is so famous, people come around from all over the place just to get a taste of his smoked meat.

For those of you wondering, yes, that pun was intentional.

But what’s in those meats that makes them taste so damn good? Well, nothing but the finest ingredient… people! Vincent and Ida set traps to snare their victims, slicing their vocal cords (so they can no longer scream), plant them up to their chins in soil in a secret garden and feed them nothing but the finest feed, even if they aren’t the finest specimens. Like, would you ever think a balding, doughy health inspector who is nosing around the farm would be tasty? Vincent sure does. How about a drug addled metal group called ‘Ivan and The Terribles,’ one of which happens to be Cheers’ John Ratzenberger? He’s only in a couple scenes and I can’t remember if he even has a line of dialogue, but blink and you could miss him. Or a swinging couple that can’t sense danger when it’s literally tying them up and drugging them. Yeah, farm life is good for Vincent. Nothing quite like waking up and being your own boss, smoking your meat and having others from all over want to savor it.

Okay, I’ll stop with all the meat smoking puns. Anywho, Vincent’s life is about the change (not to make this sound like a wacky romantic comedy, but it kinda is) when a cute victim named Terry survives one of his traps. While being nursed back to health, she understandably has some questions, like “where is my boyfriend?” Vincent informs her along with the Sheriff, Bruce, who just happens to be his dimwitted brother, that he buried the body, so everyone should move on and forget about it. And that’s exactly what happens. Terry just seems to accept it and starts to fall more and more for Vincent while Bruce is falling for Terry. Oh boy, love triangles! Except, this is kinda like a hillbilly one, so you know at some point somebody will be pointing a shotgun at somebody.

Let’s talk about Bruce for a moment. Bruce is the comedic relief in a film that is about half comedy, so needless to say that he’s probably gonna get under your skin at some point. He also comes off as possessive and stalker-ish when it comes to Terry and I know, it’s supposed to be cute and charming, but when he’s forcing himself onto her and trying to make out with her while she screams and begs for him to stop, it’s kinda hard to want to support your lead.

Rejecting Bruce and growing closer with Vincent, even Ida begins to grow jealous of her, even going as far as attempting to drown her. She’s saved by Vincent which pretty much guarantees him a ticket to Bone City, but Vincent suggests that they should be married first and she agrees. Clearly this upsets Bruce so much that he actually goes and does actual cop stuff, like investigate the scene of the accident, even though it’s, like, days or weeks later. Hey, better late than never. Meanwhile, Vincent and Ida are immediately drugging Terry so that she passes out, allowing them to get to work. So, do they plan on doing this to her every night, because it’s going to get suspicious sooner or later, right? Luckily, Vincent plans on showing her the ancient art of smoking meat, a skill that is sure to come in handy on their honeymoon. If she doesn’t go along with it, at least they can always cook her too. Unless Bruce can stop them in time and I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t have faith in him.

Look, it all boils down to a gnarly chainsaw fight between Bruce and Farmer Vincent who is wearing a giant pig’s head. The movie is awesome just for this iconic scene alone, but luckily it’s very entertaining throughout the entire movie and Farmer Vincent is a likable character even if he isn’t doing the right thing, even if he believes he is. He’s a well developed enough of a character that you kinda follow along with him, which is a good thing, because this is his movie. You spend some time with the other characters, but not enough to get to know them outside of the single trait they are given. Except Bruce who comes off as a bumbling buffoon pervert.

However, I can’t say the same about the horror aspect. It’s a film about turning people into food and yet it’s not scary. Hell, it seems like it’s barely the trappings. Even films like Blood Diner explore (or in that case, exploit) the idea of cannibalism and make it visceral, somewhat painful and gory. In Motel Hell, the characters kinda mention it here and there, although occasionally some human carcasses or limbs can be seen. I don’t know if they were hoping it would have the same impact that Quint’s speech from Jaws would have, but the horror element in this film seems a little lackluster. Same can be said about most of the humor and being a horror comedy, like Evil Dead 2 and Blood Diner, they could have really explored using the splat-stick angle (after all, we are talking about people becoming smoked meat), but the film shies away from that as well.

I still like the film, quite a bit actually. I think it’s an honest attempt at a horror comedy and although I don’t think it’s the best example nor does it reach its potential in either genre, it still does both well. A few years ago, Scream Factory released a newly restored Blu-ray that looks fantastic and comes with enough special features to cram your meathole, like  Audio Commentary with director Kevin Connor, moderated by filmmaker Dave Parker, The Making of MOTEL HELL featuring interviews with director Kevin Connor, producers/writers Robert Jaffe and Steven Charles Jaffe and actor Marc Silver, Ida, Be Thy Name: A look back at MOTEL HELL’s frightful female protagonist Ida Smith, Another Head on the Chopping Block: An interview with actor Paul Linke, From Glamour to Gore: An interview with actress Rosanne Katon, as well as a theatrical trailer and a still gallery. It also was given some great new artwork.

It’s an idea that was fully realized, but once the studio thought it would be too weird, they backed down and what you get is a watered down version of that vision, but at least that still entertaining. Especially that chainsaw fight.

Happy 4th of Boo-ly!

Happy Fourth, my fellow A-Scare-icans!

Yes, creeps, I’m proud to be an A-Scare-ican! I mean, we have produced some of the grooviest monster media ever! America brought us the Universal Monster films,  Halloween, Scream, The Exorcist, Jaws,  Freaks, Scream 2… and others! 😉 Edgar Allan Poe and H.P. Lovecraft were born here, along with EC Comics, William Castle, and Vincent Price!  Yes, other countries have produced some most eXXXcellent horror, but I’m thrilled to be part of country with such a rich history of spookiness!

Skullebrate the day! Start with a Fourth-tastic fright flick…Might I suggest I Know What You Did Last Summer, the scariest 4th of July cl-ass-sick of them all?

It’s the kind of awesomely ’90s slasherpiece that helped to make America spooky cool. How can you go wrong with a movie that features a murderous fisherman with a hook, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and this bit o’ awesome…

Plus, it makes good use of the Ho-rrorday…

IKWYDLS is sincerely required Independence Day viewing in my Book of Shadows!  😉

After the movie, listen to some patriotic music…

And then take in some monster fireworks…

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all ghouls are created groovy, that they are endowed with certain unalienable frights, that among these are awesome monster movies, eXXXcellent terror, and the pursuit of creepiness!

Happy 4th, Kinky Ho-mies!

 

Splatterday Mourning Cartoons: Bunker Hill Bunny (1950)

Happy Fourth of July Weekend, Kinky Ho-mies! 🙂

It’s another frightfully delightful Saturday morning, so you know what that means….
For this positively patriotic party, we’re bringin’ out one big ol’ star! Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. Bugs Bunny!
We all know Bugs Bunny is the greatest cross-dressin’, wise-crackin’ wabbit in all of cartoondom… but did you know that he served in the American Revolutionary War? Well, we here at KH are here to educate ya! 🙂
In 1950’s Bunker Hill Bunny, American Minuteman Bugs Bunny defends his fort against Hessian Red Coat Yosemite Sam. And Boy Ho-wdy! You better believe some cartoon shenanigans ensue! 🙂
This ‘toon is cl-ass-ic Looney Tunes in conceivable way, with all the sight gags, eXXXplosions,  and Mel Blanc-age a ghoul could possibly want! The short’s superbly funny and the comedic timing is spot-on! Bunker Hill Bunny isn’t one that gets talked about a lot, but it’s simple, looney perfection. It’s the kind of cartoon violence that makes you proud to be an American! Who knew History was this awesome? (Answer: Everyone who’s ever seen 1776, bitches!! 😉 xoxo)
Check out the looney lesson in historical happenings via the big black boXXX below:


Looney Tunes – Bunker Hill Bunny by tgtrhgtr2

News Bleed: The “Chucky Conquers Saturn” Edition

Here’s the big one, folks: The Cult of Chucky trailer is here and it is glorious! Entertainment Weekly

Behold! The Saturn Awards winners have been announced! 🙂 CBR

The new Death Note trailer spot-Light-s more iconic characters! The Verge

Disneyland and Magic Kingdom are giving the axe to the wench auction scene in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. MiceChat

Now you’re playing with power! The Super Nintendo Classic is awesome… and it includes Super Castlevania IV & Super Ghouls ’n Ghosts! TIME

Elvira gears up for a war of the zombies in Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare’s DLC! Bloody Disgusting

#TBT: It’s Good to Be the King: Happy Birthday, Mel Brooks!

(#TBT to yesterday when I should’ve posted this…The sentiment remains the same, though, even if I’m sliiiiiiiiiiightly late with it. 😉 xoxo)

Happy 91st Birthday to a legend among legends, Mr. Mel Brooks!

There are really no words to properly describe the gargantuan impact Mr. Brooks has had on comedy, film, and, well… everything.  In his seven decades in show business, he’s pushed boundaries, made generations ho-wl with laughter, brought the film parody to its zenith, and showed us the high value of a cheap joke. He’s one of the very few people to score an EGOT (an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony) and, with a one-man show opening in Vegas, shows no signs of slowing down at 91.
In addition to all of that, Mel Brooks also has some serious ho-rror cred. He directed Young Frankenstein and Dracula: Dead and Loving It, the former being (arguably) one of the greatest and most respectful horror spoofs of all time. As for actual ho-rror films, Brooks produced Cronenberg’s The Fly and The Doctor and the Devils by Hammer legend Freddie Francis. While not strictly horror, he also produced David Lynch’s haunting The Elephant Man. In 2015, Mr. Brooks lent his voice to the vampire Vlad in Hotel Transylvania 2.

Happy Birthday, Mel Brooks! May you live to be 2000! 🙂 xoxoxo

#TerrorTrailerTuesday: Peter Cushing’s Hammer Frankenstein Films

Ho-wdy, Franken-Freaks! Welcome to #TerrorTrailerTuesday, a new feature on the site on which we eXXXhume the spook-tacular trailers for a cl-ass-sick fright film series, the flicks of a ho-rror icon, or monster movies featuring a certain kind of creature. Today we’re stealing fire from the Gods, desecrating graves, and going to pieces for Peter Cushing’s Dr. Frankenstein!
Is there any mad scientist madder than Peter Cushing’s Frankenstein? This quack dives head-first into depravity and never comes up air! While he has been portrayed in a somewhat heroic light (Evil of Frankenstein, ironically enough), he’s usually the biggest creep in the tomb. Cushing’s brilliant portrayal is both endlessly chilling and weirdly charming, the latter makes his ghastly deeds all the more ho-rrible.

It was a stroke of mad genius on Hammer’s part to make Cushing’s mad doctor the focus of their Frankenstein films, for no ghoul can compare to the great fiend who makes them. And there is no greater fiend than Cushing’s Frankenstein. With Cushing, the doctor was always in… sane. 🙂

Without any further a-boo, here are the trailers for the Cushing Frankenstein films!

Splatterday Mourning Cartoons: Garfield and Friends – The Horror Hostess

Ho-wdy Cartoon Creeps! On Tuesday the 19th, a great icon of Ho-rror celebrated his 39th birthday…

Of Corpse I’m talking about Garfield the cat, the comic creation of Jim Davis.
What’s that you say? Garfield isn’t a ho-rror icon? Oh, my darklings… I’m sorry to say, but you’re wrong… DEAD wrong!

For starters, Garfield’s Halloween Adventure is the greatest animated Halloween special of all time and forever! Sure, Charlie Brown’s awesome and all, but let’s get real; that “Red Baron” nonsense is a total drag! Plus, there isn’t a single scare in the whole special. That’s why GHA reigns supreme… there’s absolutely no filler and it has scares o’plenty. Only a child with nerves o’ steel can look upon these ghost pirates without shrieking…
See? Those things are NIGHTMARE FUEL!

Still not convinced? Feast your eyes and glut your soul on this grim tale from the ACTUAL Garfield comic strip from 1989:

Holy Crap!

Still a non-believer? Well, I’ve got the perfect pair of Terror Toons for you! From the uber awesome Garfield and Friends, it’s part one and two of The Horror Hostess!

Ahh… isn’t that a tit-le that just speaks to you? It certainly speaks to me! What’s even better is that this two-parter centers around an Elvira parody and features all sorts of ghoulish delights! Monsters! Dragons! Black Magic! Shrinking Victims! Why, it sounds like my birthday! 😉
Another spooky-cool aspect of this episode is that the Ho-rror Ho-stess is voiced by scream queen Brinke Stevens! Now That’s ho-rror cred!
Don’t be a scaredy cat… check out the Ho-rror of The Horror Hostess below:

All hail Garfield, Master of Fright! 🙂