#SeXXXOnSunday: The Odd Jobs Edition

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric, of corpse! 🙂 Thanks, Mr. E, and Happy Sunday Funday to all you Kinky Ho-mies! 😉 xoxo)

Dirty Deeds (2014)

Co-workers Carrie (Stormy Daniels) and Justin (Xander Corvus) are both in need of some extra money. Carrie’s looking for her own place, after discovering her boyfriend’s secret sex tape and Justin’s saving for an expensive engagement ring to satisfy his obnoxious girlfriend. As a result, they begin working odd jobs for extra money.

More Cast: Ryan Driller, Dahlia Skye, Gabrielle Paltrova, Erik Everhard, Misty Stone, Daniel Hunter & Joanna Angel.


Overview:

There’s no real surprise what direction the storyline goes, but it has good sex scenes and is very funny. Stormy and Xander are both good throughout, but it’s Joanna Angel that steals the show in a hilarious non-sex role. I promise it won’t feel like a job watching it and I’m sure you’ll make a sticky mess!

Rating: Smiths, The 3.5 stars of 

News Bleed: The “Insidious Scream of the Snowman” Edition

Is the director of IT sinking his teeth into Dracula? Bloody Disgusting

A mysterious new Michael Jackson album called Scream is heading our way… and it looks like it might be spooky. 🙂 Variety

William “The Exorcist” Friedkin just filmed a REAL exorcism! IndieWire

Gary Oldman returns to supernatural terror with Mary. 🙂 Hollywood Reporter

The new trailer for The Snowman is chilling. Empire

The trailer for the latest Insidious is here to scare us! 🙂 io9

Balls, Boobs & Rackets: The Tennis Edition, Part 1

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric, of corpse…Thanks, Eric. This is a lovely way to be welcummed back to the land of Kinky Ho-dom. 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Carrie Fisher, Dillion Harper & Billy Hart

Shampoo (1975)

Fantasies Come True #2 (2014)

Today’s Lesson: The Educational Edition, Part 1

(Submitted by our Kinky Ho-mie, Smutmaster Eric…Thanks fer learnin’ us, freaky fiend! 🙂 xoxo)

 Study Session Turns Sexual (2014)

Beautiful Bailey Bradshaw is studying with her man (Jake Taylor) at the kitchen table while her stepmom India Summer keeps them company and offers her help.

Here’s The Video!

#SexxxOnSunday: The Spidey & Black Cat Edition

(Submitted by Mr. Smutmaster Eric, of corpse. 🙂 Thanks, Kinky Ho-miebot, and Happy #SeXXXySunday to all! 🙂 xoxo)

Brazzers Presents: The Parodies Vol. 6 (2016)

The Cat’s Meow: XXX Parody (2016)

Featuring: Jordi El Niño Polla & Mila Milan

“My Spidey-Sense is tingling!”

The Heist…

Better Late Than Never…

Trivia: Jordi is from Spain, looks like a teenager, but is 22. He’s frequently paired up with female performers that are between 10 and 20 years older. All of Spidey’s dialogue we hear is spoken by someone else.

Mila is 29, from Austria.

Part of her bio on Brazzers: Thanks to a degree in industrial design and a natural curiosity for artistic expression, she also owns and operates her own production company, a design agency, and a photography studio. She’s an accomplished conceptual painter, speaks five different languages, and dabbles as a tattoo artist.

If you’re feelin’ saucy, here’s the whole vignette…It may be just slightly NSFW, though. 😉 

o

Badges & Boobs: The Law Enforcement Edition, Part 1

(Submitted by our beloved Smutmaster General, Eric…Thank you, Kinky Ho-mie! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Julia Ann, Rocco Reed & Frances McDormand

Blue Steel (1990)

A female rookie in the police force engages in a cat and mouse game with a pistol wielding psychopath who becomes obsessed with her.

Stop! Or My Mom Will Fuck! (2010)

Julia’s son is brought home by the police again. In an attempt to placate the police officer, Julia offers him a couple of big tits to investigate.

Fargo (1996)

Jerry Lundegaard’s inept crime falls apart due to his and his henchmen’s bungling and the persistent police work of the pregnant Marge Gunderson.


Bonus:

Gold Hat (Alfonso Bedoya) in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)

Ho-stess’s #TBT PS- Little Known Fact: I’m former FBI. ;.) xoxo

#SeXXXOnSunday: The Korova Milk Bar Edition

(Submitted on this glorious Game of Thrones premiere day by Mr. Smutmaster Eric…Thank you, my Kinkiest of Ho-mies! #dracarys 😉 xoxo)

A Clockwork Whore: Part 1 (2011)

Madison Ivy is an ultra-sexual youth in futuristic America. She and her fellow droogies, Zoe Voss and Gia Dimarco go on a wild spree of sex and crimes. Causing trouble on the streets and then fucking each other senseless in the milk bar.

A Clockwork Whore: Part 2 (2011)

We last left Madison and her trumpet of tarts fucking each other senseless at the Korova milk bar. Now they’ve ventured off into the night for a little of the old ultra-sex. The droogies stumble upon a writer’s house, and lucky for them he just happens to have a big cock. First a song and then the hungry whores devour every inch of him.

Bonus:

In B&W;


Rob Zombie: Never Gonna Stop (The Red Red Kroovy) (2001)

A #Smutmaster Review: The WW Parody Edition

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie! 🙂 xoxo)

Wonder Woman XXX: An Axel Braun Parody (2015)

Made a few years before Vivid released it, this is one of Axel’s most mediocre parodies, with just 15 minutes of non-sex. The different storylines never develop, so there’s no conclusion to anything that’s discussed.

WW, like all of Axel’s comic parodies has great costumes, and some of the most talented performers, all capable of being equally good at the non-sex and sexual parts of a porn feature. It’s unfortunate the script is like something that was quickly scribbled onto napkins, then typed up once for the cast to yawn over, I mean read, smile and say “it’s so good,” when there’s no way they mean it.

It begins promisingly with Wonder Woman (Kimberly Kane, looking terrific) thwarting a theft in an embassy by Angle Man and his useless henchmen. She questions him about a triangle-shaped object he was carrying while tied up in her lasso, but to her surprise, he vanishes before saying much.

Later.

We see Lois Lane (Kirsten Price) waiting at a gas station, at night. Why this place? They don’t say. She was expecting Superman, but when WW shows up in his place, Lois is more perturbed than a lady at KFC that’s been told they’re out of crispy. Her arrival is a favor for Superman, that couldn’t come because he’s somewhere in Africa. (Sightseeing? Booty call? Feeding starving kids? We’re not told.)

“I won’t give up Clark without a fight,” an angry Lois tells WW. “There is no Clark, Clark is a lie!” This news just makes Lois bitchier by the minute, so she continues on with her silly, jealous bluster, but WW is unfazed and tells her “He’s made his choice!”

After that nonsense.

WW visits Doctor Fate (Eric Masterson) for answers about the triangle. After studying it, he’s only able to her “it’s heavy.” Useless! When WW leaves, he bangs this chick Maddy (Claire Robbins).

It’s the sexual highlight for me, filled with enthusiasm and more bare skin than some other scenes.

Sometime after that.

Killer Frost (Ash Hollywood) meets with Angle Man to discuss the botched embassy heist. They talk about WW for a minute or two, before screwing. Not long after he shoots his warm load on her, she freezes him out of existence. (The only funny moment!)

Later in the Batcave.

An injured Bruce Wayne studies the triangle, while WW reminisces with Batgirl (Penny Pax) about their odd outdoor threesome with Ares (Evan Stone). (This scene could’ve been exceptional, but the Vaseline smeared on the lens is distracting and the costumes stay on, so we never see their boobs. Boo!)

Afterwards.

Lois sits down to interview Cheetah (Melody Jordan), under the pretense of wanting to write a story about her, now that she’s received a pardon from President Lex Luthor. Cheetah knows Lois is full of shit and wants the truth.

They discuss a plan about their mutual enemy WW, then the frisky feline and bitchy reporter proceed to give each other a tongue-bath. (Cheetah’s silly looking costume stays on, so we never see her boobs. Boo!)

Elsewhere.

Superman (Ryan Driller) and WW heat up the Fortress of Solitude. (The boobs stay covered again. Damn you, Axel!)

After sex.

These heroes aren’t into cuddling, so they go outside to talk in the cold. (You’ll have that puzzled look too!)

After a few minutes of dull banter, an unseen force begins to control Superman’s mind. WTF? WW prepares to defend herself, and it ends abruptly. Boo! Hiss! 

Rating  out
 
Bonus BTS:
Ho-stess’s PS- Fun Fact: I was originally cast as Wondy in this, but got booted due to… “porn politics”. It was super devastating to me at the time, and was the final straw that broke the “Taking a Hiatus” camel’s back. Now years later, I’m super glad things worked out the way they did. (Though you can still eXXXpect some naughty Wondy work from me in the future. 😉 xoxo)

#ThemysciraThursday Comic Book Review: The Legend of Wonder Woman #1-9

(Rejoice, Kinky Ho-s, as our long awaited Wondy movie is now just around the corner…Prasie Hera! 😉 Here to help us get properly prepped for the Wondrousness is our resident SuperheoSciFi Guru, Mr. Prince Adam…Thank you, Super Friend! 🙂 xoxo)

“On the hidden island of Themyscira, the Amazons, led by Queen Hippolyta, live in a kingdom of peace, protected by the gods. But the balance is upset when Hippolyta is granted what no immortal may have: a child, given life from the clay of the island. She is the princess Diana, who alone can sense the evil that is infesting the Amazon’s home.” (DC Entertainment)

The first nine issues of this digital first comic book retrace Wonder Woman’s origins and time on Themyscira. Many elements from the other Wonder Woman origin story I reviewed for you (Wonder Woman: The True Amazon) overlap in this story, but the perspective is different and makes this story unique. What I notice here is that while man’s world was full of hate and war, Hippolyta, along with her sisters forged her nation of woman who spoke of love and compassion, but were equally as mighty with their sword and axes. However, unlike the men, the Amazon’s were never inherently cruel. Impressed with this balance, Zeus granted Hippolyta and her sister’s immortality so that they would be able to oversee the growth and prosperity of the Amazon’s. As years pass, Hippolyta is filled with sorrow because immortals cannot give birth. Her festering anguish led her astray. During the invasion of Hercules, she had a sexual tryst with Theseus, allowing Hercules’ army to gain the upper hand leading to the defeat and death of one of Hippolyta’s sister, Penthesilea. After seeing the results of her indiscretion, she chose to abandon her longing for children and while her Amazon sisterhood were upset that she betrayed them, they chose her to lead them back to peace and prosperity as their Queen. Meanwhile, in the heavens, the gods were at war with a Titan. While they defeated the Titan, the battle ravaged the Earth, so the gods created an island sequestered away from humanity to prevent further disaster. Zeus invites the Amazon’s to live on a piece of said island known as Themyscira, in exchange for making it a place of peace and provide worship to the gods. To seal the deal, Zeus promises to give souls of daughters to mortal Amazons, once every 10 years. Still left childless, it is the mystical sands and wishing of Hippolyta that bring Diana into this world. I find in this book compared to most others, the Amazon’s are far more harmonious with the ancient gods. Most books don’t showcase the Amazons as being so submissive and worshiping the Gods in such detail. So much so, that Hippolyta’s sisters align themselves with worshiping and being somewhat of an emissary of those gods. However, while men are shown for their propensity for hatred and warfare, this books puts the blame for the suffering and devastation in Man’s world on the gods. This book also clearly identifies the Amazon’s as human beings who are granted immortality and extra ability. I think that past iterations of Wonder Woman stories have made them quasi god-like in their own right, however when doing that, it makes the presence of the gods somewhat moot. I didn’t like Diana’s clay origin this time around. The clay being able to bring Diana to life because Hippolyta essentially thinks/wills her into being, basically makes her a Green Lantern minus the ring, or his duties. Diana being given life by the gods, makes her extra special in my book.

Speaking of Diana, she is much more the traditional one we are used to, as opposed to the bitchy spoiled brat from Wonder Woman: A True Amazon. Here, Diana has a strong unwavering desire to join the military of Paradise Island and commence her training. However, her mother would rather groom her to be future Queen so she can win favor from the gods, ultimately being granted immortality by the gods. While mother and daughter are at odds over this, they share the same reasoning; to protect the other. Hippolyta worries that Diana’s mortality will be tested if she joins the warrior ranks, while Diana wants to use her training and warrior status to protect her mother and home world from a dark mystical threat, only she seems to sense. In this segment of the story, ultimately Diana pretends to abide her mother’s wishes, while secretly training with Alicippe. While Diana feels disheartened for disobeying her mother, it turns out she knew all along and despite her misgivings, allowed Alicippe to continue her training because it makes Diana happen. During her training, Diana learns that her mother was the fiercest warrior the Amazon’s have ever known. Thus, Diana realizes her mother’s concern for her because she’s fought in battle and knows the costs. Still, this only brings Diana closer to her mother, strengthening her resolve to fight alongside her fellow warriors. Honestly, of all the Wonder Woman stories I’ve read, this one makes me feel the most genuine and invested in the mother/daughter bond of Hippolyta and Diana. The arrival of Steve Trevor on Themyscira is more purposeful and serves an added purpose in this story. It seems as though whatever great dark threat Diana sensed was to plague Themyscira, actually pulled Steve Trevor’s plane towards the island. Think of it kind of like the Bermuda Triangle myth. I think I like this idea better, then it just being a happy accident. When Hippolyta’s sisters learn of the plane crash, they plan to use a “wild man” scampering unchecked around the island, to discredit Hippolyta’s leadership, and take her place as Queen. One of the sisters even contemplates murder. However, their plan is thwarted by Diana and Alicippe, with Alicippe ultimately losing her life in the process. I love that there is jealousy and resent among Hippolyta’s sisters. Look, I can suspend disbelieve that most women can live on an island and live in harmony together. But I’ve known too many woman who hold grudges and “hate” each other, for the most ridiculous of reasons. So it makes sense that if one sister was favored by Zeus over others, there would be some anger and jealousy at play. The gladiator games that bring Wonder Woman to man’s world are not a mere commemorative ceremony in this book. Here, the winner gets to decide the fate of the intruder Steve Trever. Diana of course wins the event and decides to escort Steve home. I like that the Amazon gladiatorial tournament had more stakes involved then just being something ritualistic. While we never see Wonder Woman in costume yet, she is given her heroic wardrobe by her mother and it’s confirmed that in this iteration, the gods have embed the elements of her heroic costume with blessings, that when worn, give Diana her extraordinary abilities. In previous iterations, her divine birth has been the cause of her abilities. Truly, I’m fine with both interpretations. The relationship/infatuation is just started/teased here between Diana and Steve. It seems as though they are going to expand that over the course of several issues. I prefer this, rather than having it force fed to us in one shot.

The art drawn by Ray Dillon. The art is much more modern looking than the last Wonder Woman graphic novel I reviewed here. It also has a little bit of an animated feel to it, without ever veering into overly cartoonish. Diana, as she ages from childhood to adulthood, looks like our very own Miss Kinky Horror. That’s perfectly fine by me by the way. My favourite page is the splash page of the gods battling Titan at the top portion of the page, while the Earth is being ravaged by volcanic eruption and flooding as a result of their war. It’s powerful and mythic imagery that highlights the powers of the Gods. I noted that the gladiatorial games as drawn in Wonder Woman: A True Amazon looked like Ben Hur. The gladiatorial tournament in The Legend of Wonder Woman visually reminds me of 300! A huge part of the beauty of this art is the colors. The shot of Pegasus prancing elegantly with sunlight shining in behind is literally the most beautiful shot I’ve seen in a comic book over the last year. Also, the cloud of darkness engulfing Themyscira is perfectly creepy and menacing. If you had any doubt that Themyscira is the most beautiful location in the DC Universe, this book will confirm it.

This is a fantastic read. You may feel as though you know Wonder Woman’s origin, but the twists to familiar scenarios, a deeper connection between mother and daughter, and spectacular looking art makes this a must read for Wonder Woman fans everywhere. Now I don’t know specific details of the Wonder Woman film, but there are scenes from the trailers that seem to be pulled right out of this book. For that reason, I recommend reading this book, as a pre-movie ritual leading up to your viewing of the film. For myself, the week leading up to the release, I plan on doing a Wonder Woman marathon consisting of, the television series, episodes of the Justice League animated series and a stack of comic books. PS: The wait is almost over my friends!

News Bleed: The “Dobaara the Glass Monster” Edition

Go to Hell… again! Hellboy is getting a reboot from Neil Marshall! 🙂 IGN

The new Blade Runner 2049 trailer is here and it’s more human than human! 🙂 Variety

American Horror Story gives us a SHRIEK peek at a featured creature from the upcoming season. 🙂 People

American Horror Story Season 7 tease.

A post shared by Ryan Murphy (@mrrpmurphy) on

No strings attached! Take a look at the new Puppet Master puppets! Bloody Disgusting

 

Oculus gets reflected in Dobaara, a Bollywood remake! 🙂 Bollywood Life

Get Out director Jordan Peele signs a first-look deal with Universal. EXXXpect some more Social Ho-rror very soon. 🙂 Hollywood Reporter

Roger Corman plans to race into Death Squad and the final Death Race 2000 sequel!`:) JoBlo

Check out the damn fine trailer for the new Twin Peaks. 🙂 Flickering Myth