News Bleed: The “Ripley vs. Re-Animator” Edition

The Friday the 13th game gets a release date…and it’s soon!!!! Rejoice, Friday fiends!!
Screen Rant


Arrow Video re-animates Re-Animator with a brand-new Collector’s Edition! 🙂 JoBlo
The Predator‘s hunt has been moved up to Summer 2018. MOVIEWEB

The truth is still out there… The X-Files returns… again! 🙂 The New York Times
Sigourney Weaver resurrected Ripley for Stephen ColbertBloody Disgusting

And, sadly, Hammer Horror star Yvonne Monlaur has passed away. 🙁 Horror Society

And Erin Moran has also passed away…R.I.P., Shortcake. 🙁 CNN


Happy Mystery Science Theater 3000 Season 11 Release Day!!!

SUPER IMPORTANT UPDATE: I FOUND MY CREDIT!!!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled “MST3K Yay!” post…

Ho-wdy, my Mysterious MSTIES! It’s time to get yo happy on, for the ‘Bots are back in town!!! 🙂

Netflix just made the not-too-distant future the right-this-minute present with the release of Mystery Science Theater 3000 Season 11! Following a HUGELY successful Kickstarter campaign (which your Ho-stess happily contributed to! :)), MST3K has risen from the grave with a brand new bag o’ cheesy clas-sicks for ya! The original series is one of the most beloved series in all of nerd-dom and this new one seems to properly capture that ol’ Satellite of Love charm. 🙂

In ho-nor of the Return of MST3K, I thought I’d send some cheesy trailers…the worst I can find! Each trailer is for a film featured on the new MST3K. In total, there are 14 new movies for the hapless ho-st and the ‘Bots to “suffer” through. This new batch of films is made up of some the most delicious cinematic cheese, so I recommend you check them out both with and without Shadowrama. Two of them feature Caroline “Forever Goddess” Munro (Starcrash, At the Earth’s Core), so you know you’re in for some great B-movie awesomeness. 🙂

Check out the trailers below:

Reptilicus

Cry Wilderness

The Time Travelers

Avalanche

The Beast of Hollow Mountain

Starcrash

The Land That Time Forgot

The Loves of Hercules

Yongary: Monster from the Deep

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II

Carnival Magic

The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t

At the Earth’s Core

Welcome Back, MST3K. It’s good to hear you riffing again. 🙂 xoxo


Slasher Theater: Slaughter High (1986)


April Fools, you fabulously frightful fear freaks! Today on KH, we’re living in a prankster’s paradise! To honor this day of jokes and japes, we’ve got one from the vaults. Starring Caroline “Forever Goddess” Munro and a not-so-jolly jester, it’s 1986’s Slaughter High.

Slaughter High began life as April Fool’s Day, but was forced to change its title to avoid confusion with Paramount’s April Fool’s Day, which was released the same year. Our plot concerns a group of friends reuniting at their old high school. The sins of their past come back to haunt them in the form of Marty, a former classmate left disfigured by a particurlary cruel April Fool’s prank the students played. In classic slasher fashion, Marty dons a jester mask decides it’s time to knock his former classmates dead in a very literal sense. Despite the clownish mask, Marty certainly isn’t fooling around.

Slaughter High is sleazy schlock… and we love it for that! Filmed at derelict school, the film has wonderfully dirty, grimy vibe that only adds to the fun! Harry “Friday the 13th” Manfredini contributed the score, so you know you’re in for some prime musical horror. For lovers of slasher mayhem and sharp implements of terror, this film will have much to tickle your fancy. Axes! Acid! Hooks! Lawnmowers! Javelins! Electrocution by jumper cables! It’s all so horribly wonderful!

Weirdly enough, Slaughter High is a British picture masquerading as an American one. At one point, a character says, “If we wait til noon, April Fool’s Day will be over and he won’t kill us.” In the UK, April Fool’s Day ends at noon and if one plays a prank after noon, they are deemed the “fool.” Apparently, the filmmakers were unaware that we Americans do not follow that tradition. Adding to this, the cast is a British as steak and kidney pie, but they all attempt an American accent. The results are, as you may imagine, are quite mixed. However, it does give the film a distinct flavor. None of the performers are particularly brilliant, but it’s always lovely to see Caroline Munro.

For all you April Fools out there, we present Slaughter High in its entirety, No foolin’!

Happy April Fools’ Day!

Stockings & Garter Belts: The Ho-siery Edition, Part 1

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, King o’Kink!! 😉 xoxo)

Featuring: Rhonda Shear, Jenny McCarthy, Tim Curry, Angelina Valentine & Monique Parent.

Playboy Oct (1993)

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

The Girl from the Naked Eye (2012)

The Key to Sex (1999)


Ho-stess’s PS– I was known to enjoy wearing stockings and garter belts back in my “secretary” (or teacher…or boss lady…I’ve lost track) days. 😉 xoxo

Horror Happenings: AHS: Roanoke Paleyfest

On Sunday night, PaleyFest LA 2017 ended not with bang, but with a blood-curdling scream…

That’s right, Horror Fanatics! The cast & crew of AHS: Roanoke ended the fesival on a fiendish note! Cast members Sarah Paulson, Adina Porter, Cuba Gooding Jr., Kathy Bates, Denis O’Hare and Cheyenne Jackson were in attendance, along with Executive Producers Brad Falchuk (co-creator) and Tim Menear.

Image: Kinky Horror’s Mystery Reporter. (lol)

Image: Kinky Horror’s Mystery Reporter. (lol, part deuxxx)

There wasn’t much in way of information on the upcoming season, but there was a lot of fun to be had. The team was a charmingly silly bunch, giving off the impression that they had deep admiration for each other, including the absent Angela Basset. Everyone had a few good laughs and seemed to be having a grand time, but it was Sarah Paulson and Kathy Bates who had ’em rolling. The two teased each other throughout the night, constantly giving each other a hard time. Paulson did a Swedish Chef-like impression of Bates, to which Bates responded with a simple “Go fuck yourself.”  Bates ended up doing her Paulson impression, which involved puffing out her lips. The two sat next to each other and kept touching and hugging each other during the entire event. Bates referred to Paulson as “The People’s Princess.”

Image: Kinky Horror’s Mystery Reporter. (and again I say, lol…Thank you, “Mystery Reporter”. 😉 xoxo)

Image: Michael Bulbenko for the Paley Center

When the floor opened for questions, we did get some more a bit more info. The actors were asked which AHS roles they would like to reprise. Paulson had chosen Cordelia, the head witch in charge in Coven. “We only got to see her just getting her powers. I just would like to know if the power might have been something that kind of changed her,” said Paulson. O’Hare went with Larry Harvey, the burnt-faced man who ended up in prison in the first season. “I’d like to see him get out of jail, he’s probably been organizing musicals there,” remarked O’Hare.

Image: Paley Center

One fan asked if there would be “more famous people” next season. Instantly, Bates, Gooding Jr., O’Hare and Paulson walked off the stage, resulting in a thunderous roar of laughter from the audience. A fan delivered a letter to Sarah Paulson, in a move almost identical to the PaleyFest scene at the end of Roanoke.

Image: Kinky Horror’s Mystery Reporter.

After the Q&A, the stars stuck around and signed autographs/took pictures with the fans. Paulson, who stuck around and took a incredible amount of “selfies”, really lived up to Bate’s title of “People’s Princess.”

Image: Paley Center

Image: Paley Center

Image: Paley Center

Image: Paley Center

Image: Paley Center

Image: Paley Center

Image: Paley Center

Image: Paley Center

Image: Paley Center

Image: Kinky Horror’s Mystery Reporter

I’d say this event was a lovely nightmare for AHS fans.

Horror High: The “Urban Legend is Badass” Edition. ;)

Hiya, ho-mies! Here’s a dorky lil’ thing I did to celebrate the wonder and magic of Urban Legend…Ho-pe you like it as much as I love pop rocks and coke!! 😉 xoxo

Happy St. Patrick’s Day: The Irish Ladies Edition

(Submitted for your ho-liday viewing pleasure by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, my festive fiend!! 🙂 xoxo)
Brittany O’Connell
Born: December 06, 1972
She’s of mixed Irish, Swedish, and Russian descent. Brittany was raised in Phoenix, Arizona. O’Connell originally wanted to be an Olympic skater and both taught and studied gymnastics. She attended an all-girl private school and graduated from high school at age 17. O’Connell began her career in the adult entertainment industry at age 18 as a nude dancer in a strip club. Brittany started performing in explicit hardcore movies at age 19 in 1992 and by age 25 had already appeared in over 200 adult features.
Before she got into porn, she was a cashier at a WalMart in Phoenix, Arizona.
Sara Bolger
Born: 28 February 1991, Dublin Ireland
She is best known for her roles in the films In America (2002), Stormbreaker, and The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008), as well as her award winning role as Lady Mary Tudor in the TV series The Tudors (2007), and for guest starring as Princess Aurora in Once Upon a Time (2011).
Starring in:
Emelie (2016)
A couple’s replacement babysitter turns out to be more than they bargained for when she subjects their kids to a series of twisted activities.

Kylie Ireland

Other Name: DeeKay (as a street artist)

Born: May 26, 1970, Longmont, CO

She’s an American pornographic actress, film director, producer, publicist, and Satellite radio show host. She is an inductee into the AVN, XRCO, and NightMoves Halls of Fame. She entered the pornographic film industry in 1994, through an acquaintance with glamour photographer Warren Tang. Her first films were L’il Ms. Behaved, where she performed with Randy West, and Up & Cummers 10, with Jenna Jameson; she started at the same time as Jameson.

Chose the name Kylie because she is a fan of singer/actress Kylie Minogue. Chose the name Ireland due to her Irish heritage.

Ho-stess’s PS- Kiss me…I’m Irish, too!! 🙂 Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Kinky Ho-mies!! 🙂 xoxo

Happy Birthday, Sasha Grey!

(Happy Birthday from all of us here at Kinky Ho-rror, butt especially from Smutmaster Eric, who cumpiled this gushing gallery. 😉 xoxo)

Born: March 14, 1988, North Highlands, CA

Birth Name: Marina Ann Hantzis

Sasha is one of the greatest hardcore performers of all time! She often appeared in kinky, rough scenes from 2006 to 2010. This penchant for the more extreme sex made her incredibly popular very fast. Her acting in porn features, vignettes and non-porn movies showed people she’s versatile and could succeed as an actress after leaving her XXX career behind.

Here are some GIFs to help you celebrate her 29th birthday.

First:

A Birthday Spanking.

 Sex with a bear, because they get lonely.

Bonus:

Eminem – Space Bound video (w/ Sasha)

The Adorkable Ms. Grey

Ho-stess’s PS–  Ms. Grey’s climactic moment in the film Would You Rather? (Which also stars one of my hugest forever crushes, Mr. Jeffrey Combs. I HIGHLY rec adding this film to your Must View Queue if you haven’t seen it yet. 🙂 xoxo)


Goon Reviews: Firestarter (1984)

(Submitted by Mr. Andrew Peters…Thank you, hot stuff!! 😉 xoxo)

Stephen King movies. Just opening up a review with that sentence makes me think about fortifying my walls and wearing body armor. I understand he has a very strong and faithful following and for a good reason; the guy is a phenomenal writer. That being said, I don’t think his films have always been well adapted when it comes to the big screen. There are a few exceptions, but for the most part, his films often follow the same plot structures, contain ridiculous, one note, cliched characters and often conclude with an ending that’s less than satisfactory. This is just my opinion, of course, but then he has those films that kinda fall in the middle of the road.

Let’s talk about Firestarter, for example. I know there are a ton of people out there who love this movie and rightfully so, but something about it just didn’t click for me completely. I didn’t hate the film, but I didn’t love it. I just thought it was okay, which I know is blasphemy to not adore a Stephen King adapted film, especially an older work, but just because I don’t absolutely love the film doesn’t mean I didn’t find the performances to be fantastic or the story to be pretty decent. It just wasn’t what I expected and I felt it dragged and repeated similar scenes.

A very young, post E.T., Drew Barrymore stars as the film’s titular character, Charlie McGee, who has the ability to raise the temperature and start things on fire, hence Firestarter. She also has one of the most buck-toothed, back woods, Stephen King character names of all time. Rather than the film be about her discovering her powers and causing havoc or going out for revenge, she is already fully aware of her powers, but is still learning how to fully control it. She’s on the run with her father Andy played by David Keith (not to be confused with Keith David) who are trying to escape from some government faction that likes to experiment on people called The Shop. You see, Andy met his wife Victoria (Heather Locklear in a very small role) during one of The Shop’s experiments that gave Andy telekinetic powers they oddly call “shove” or “shoving.” It’s kinda like how they had to make Danny’s powers sound more exciting by calling it “shining” in, um, The Shining. So for you X-Men fans, Andy is basically Jean Grey and Charlie is Sunspot.

After a long night of running from the suits and accidentally setting some jerk’s foot on fire, Andy and Charlie wind up at a small farm, ran by the friendly Irv (Art Carney) and his wife Norma (Louise Fletcher) where their cover is quickly blown, but Irv is rather accepting of the truth and we get a look back at what happened to Victoria and why Andy and Charlie are on the run. It actually feels like that part could have been written out and used as the movie, which honestly I would have rather seen. Soon, suits from The Shop show up by the dozen and seemingly multiply when the shoot Irv in the arm and Charlie begins setting them on fire and blowing up their cars. It’s quite an intense scene and referencing X-Men once again, reminded me of the scene from X2 where Pyro is attacking the police cars outside of Bobby’s house. When all’s said and done, the remaining survivors run away leaving quite an awkward situation for Andy and Charlie. Norma demands that they leave and this important for the ending when Charlie arrives to Irv and Norma welcoming her with open arms. Oh okay, I guess Norma had some time to blow off some steam? Why the sudden change of heart other than that the ending called for it to be happy. I’m getting ahead of myself.

With the two on the run, we meet the real driving force of the film, the evil that sends the events into motion, Captain Hollister played by a very scratchy throated Martin Sheen. Hollister was probably my favorite character of the film, because you aren’t totally sure of his intentions. He wants to capture Charlie and use her as a weapon, yet he seems to think they can only use her so much before she becomes totally dangerous and wants to destroy her. However, at other times, he seems like he doesn’t really want to kill her… so his hired gun John Rainbird offers to do it and seems happy to do so. George C. Scott disappears into the role of John Rainbird, complete with a classic villain look with scars, ponytail and an eyepatch. His character is absolutely insane, befriending Charlie so that he can gain her trust to kill her, because he wants to absorb her spirit and rid the world of the danger that she’s capable of. He seems very tragic and George C. Scott plays both sides perfectly. He’s threatening and violent and will frighten you into hiding, but he can lure you out and be totally trusting and seemingly caring. You’re never sure exactly where he’s coming form.

John and Hollister finally capture Andy and Charlie and separate them at The Shop, promising them both that if they do what they say they will be reunited. Of course, we know that’s not true and neither does Andy who’s being forced to take medication to dull his powers while his daughter is being pampered and given false promises if she uses her powers. At this point, I’m not exactly sure what it is they plan to do with the evidence of her powers… I believe it was to try and duplicate it with more people? Anyway, Andy devises a plan to escape and contacts Charlie while duping Hollister about his suppressed powers that leads to a fiery and explosive finale that ends pretty much how you think it will. Also, I forgot to mention the synth poppy soundtrack by Tangerine Dream that is damn good. However at time it may not always fit the context of the scene, it’s always welcoming to hear. I’ve always enjoyed their work, especially on Near Dark and although they didn’t record new music for Firestarter (the director was given pre-existing music they recorded), it’s easily one of my favorite soundtracks.

Although I stated that Firestarter was pretty middle of the road for me, I do have to say that the performances from everyone are fantastic. At a very young age, Drew Barrymore manages to handle a range of emotions, even crying and being vulnerable and then flipping that and becoming wily and dangerous. David Keith does a pre James McAvoy Professor X touching his temples, but mixing in a bit of that face and eyes intensity in Scanners whenever he used his powers. He plays Andy as a very protective father and a damaged man who is tired and stressed out from running and using his powers. You can see the toll it’s taken on him. I already talked about George C. Scott and Martin Sheen, which really concludes the majority of the characters that you spend time with. Heather Locklear is barely in the movie, but she’s adorable, so you can see how Andy would fall her. She’s not really given many scenes and doesn’t have any depth.

Scream Factory presents Firestarter in a brand new 2K scan that looks phenomenally sharp and clean. I can’t recall many dust or scratches and yet it’s not like it looks like a brand new film, but rather if the original print had no damage. Director Mark L. Lester offers a brand new commentary and is even interviewed in a new featurette, Playing with Fire, along with Actors Freddie Jones, Drew Snyder, Dick Warlock and even Johannes Schmoelling of Tangerine Dream. There’s actually a featurette on Tangerine Dream as well as a live performance of ‘Charlie’s Theme’, because they knew how good the soundtrack was to this movie that they had to include some features about it. The disc is topped off with the usual trailers, radio spots and still galleries.

Firestarter is one of the better Stephen King adapted films, boasting incredible performances and a killer soundtrack, but with a typical evil government/good guy on the run plot and it ends pretty much exactly how you think it will. Even though I don’t love the film, I like it just fine and think it’s well made, but it feels a bit underwhelming to me.

Happy Birthday, Buffy!! :)


Ho-ly Hellmouth! I can’t believe Buffy the Vampire Slayer is 20 years old today! This is my absolute favorite show of all time, and the fact that sooooooo many people are still celebrating its ass-kicking, vampire-slayin’ glory two decades later is pretty freaking amazing!

Joss Whedon took the cute blonde girl who often dies first in the average horror film and made her a complete and utter badass. She was the one the Creatures of the Night feared. Buffy was a strong female headlining traditionally masculine “action hero” storylines who kicked open the door for more badass babes starring in major shows.

BTVS easily could have been a total campfest, but it respected its characters, genre, and audience. It showed us that slaying vampires and demons could be a total blast (obviously ;)), but still possessed an uncommon depth and make us truly care for its misfits. Buffy was an incredibly smart and important show that will always have a big ol’ stake-shaped place in my heart…#SCOOBYGANG4EVAH!! xoxo

PS- Spike is the seXXXiest vampire ever!!! Suck it, Lestat! 😉 xoxo

PPS- Giles was also freaking hawt…I was sooooo jealous of Ms. Calendar (until…well, you know.)

PPS- I was inspired to do a quickie Buffy tribute today for my weekly #FreedomFriday offering. 🙂