Carnivorous Cartoon Cavalcade: Tales from the Cryptkeeper – Fare Tonight

Ho-wdy, Fright Fiends! SDCC got in the way of my usual #SplatterdayMourning posting, but there’s no way I’d leave you without a creepy cartoon for your wicked weekend viewing pleasure. So without further ado, I presenteth thee with KH’s very first Carnivorous Cartoon Calvacade. (#GoWithIt… ;))

We’ve got another animated atrocity to thrill you, chill you, and fulfill you! This time, we’re takin’ a scenic walk through the crypt with our favorite Master of Scar-emonies… The Cryptkeeper!

#Hotness

Ghoul-d Ol’ Crypty has done just about everything a creep can SCREAM of… he started with some of the influential fright comics of all SLIME, appeared in movies, had a hit Terrorvision show, made appearances at amusement parks, has had his seXXXy mug plastered on everything known to monsterkind, and even had two records! Of CORPSE, all of that isn’t enough for big shot like Ol’ Crypty. Having scared the pants off of every adult in A-SCARE-ica, The Cryptkeeper intended to do the same to all the little boils and ghouls. Yes, fright friend, Crypty had his own Splatterday Mourning Cartoon… Tales from the Cryptkeeper!
Tales from the Cryptkeeper was essentially a friendly, cleaner version of the HBO show. Howl-ever, that just doesn’t mean this show doesn’t have its fare share of ghouls, ghosts, and goons. For a KILL-dren’s show. there’s still plenty o’ ho-rror to be had!
Our tale from the crypt is bloodsucker entitled Fare Tonight. It’s a twisted tale of two girls who dare ask this biting question: Will the Real Vampire Please Stand Up?
For all you night “people” out there, here’s Fare Tonight:

Pleasant Nightmares!

Beach Party a Go-Go, Part 2

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie! :))

Featuring: Ursula Andress, Nahanni Johnstone, Burt Lancaster, Deborah Kerr, Radioactive Waste, Robert Pine, Pamela Susan Shoop, Ants, Pierce Brosnan & Halle Berry.

Dr. No (1963)

Infested (2002)

From Here to Eternity (1953)

Empire of the Ants (1977)

Die Another Day (2002)

Ho-stess’s PS- This week’s #MonsterMaskMonday fits right in here, though it was less about the beach and more of a…Poo Party!! 😉 xoxo

 

 

#FBF: The “Evil of Romero” Edition

Ho-wdy, Undead-Heads!

As we said in Monday’s post, the zombie as we know it just wouldn’t eXXXist without the late, great George A. Romero. The influence of his Dead films can be felt in just about every form of zombie media, notably the ever-popular Resident Evil video game franchise.
We here at Kinky Ho-rror just adore the unholy heck out of out of the Resident Evil series… but who doesn’t?  The franchise has sold over 77 million units sold worldwide, produced countless pieces of merchandise, inspired theme park attraction, and inspired a series of Matrix remakes.

While the series eventually went for an action/adventure style, the first few games owe much to Master Romero. From the slow-moving flesh eaters to the claustrophobic setting of the first game, there’s no doubt that these games would not eXXXist without Romero’s mad genius.

In 1998, the series acknowledged the Romero influence by hiring the man himself to direct a live-action TV commercial for Resident Evil 2 (known as Biohazard 2 in Japan). The 30-second spot features a group of gruesome zombies raising hell at a jail and features game-accurate costumes. You can watch that bit o’ awesome below…

Though it only aired in Japan, the commercial inspired Sony to hire Romero to adapt the first game into a full-length feature. Unfortunately, the film eventually died, eventually morphing into Paul W.S. Anderson’s 2002 adaptation. However, it’s been said that the success of that film and the resurgence of zombies in pop culture allowed Romero to make 2004’s Land of the Dead.
As an added bit o’ Romero goodness, here’s The King of the Zombies talking about the commercial:

Hail King Romero!

News Bleed: The “Cult of DOOM!” Edition

Fargo creator Noah Hawley is the harbinger of Doom… Doctor Doom, that is. 🙂 Variety

American Horror Story finally reveals its title! 🙂 Screen Rant

David Cronenberg’s Consumed gets consumed by AMC! Deadline

The first Pacific Rim: Uprising urges you to join the Jaeger Uprising! 🙂 Entertainment Weekly

Game on! Check out the first Jigsaw trailer! Forbes

Halloween finally comes to Disney California Adventure. 🙂 Attractions Magazine

No more clowning around… a Harley Quinn vs. The Joker movie is (reportedly) happening! Movie Web

Happy Birthday, The Devil Rides Out!

On this day in 1968, all Hell broke loose…

Happy Birthday to Hammer’s sensational Satanic SuspenStory, The Devil Rides Out!

Based on the Dennis Wheatley novel of the same name, The Devil Rides Out is an unusual entry in the Hammer canon. While still technically a period piece (set in 1929), it’s not the normal Victorian Gothic fare one associates with the studio. The classically cinematic monsters Hammer was so fond of are absent here, instead replaced with a far more flagitious form of evil: the Devil himself.
The Devil Rides Out represents the very best of British ho-rror cinema. Enveloped in supernatural terror and drenched in menace, the film is perhaps the most legitimately terrifying beast unleashed by Hammer Studios and director Terence Fisher. It moves at an incredibly brisk pace, each moment rich with exquisite horror. Hammer music maniac James Bernard provides a superbly thunderous score that ranks among his best.


The film also gives the inimitable Sir Christopher Lee the rare chance to play the hero, an opportunity taken to its full potential. As The Duc de Richleau, Sir Christopher is as suave and urbane as ever, playing the part like an occultist Sherlock Holmes. In a career of perfect performances, Lee’s work here is among his best. As his Satanic adversary, Charles “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” Gray gives a brilliantly silky portrayal of pure evil. Makes ya wish these two had another Hammer film to go at each other’s throats…

In ho-nor of this fright film favorite, here’s a clip from the film. I must issue a word of friendly warning: if you are arachnophobic, I strongly urge you NOT to watch this clip.

For the rest of you… Enjoy:

Happy Birthday, The Devil Rides Out!

#TerrorTrailerTime: Attack of the Giant Insects (and Arachnids)!

Ho-wdy,Human Ho-mies!
Wel-cum to another #TerrorTrailerTime! We’re really going to bug you this week…

For ya Kreepy Krawlers out there, we harvested some trailers for some of the most insidious insect invasions of the ’50s and ’60s! These freaky features represent some of the very best in monster movie madness! So, roll up a newspaper and be prepared… this day belongs to the insects!
Here they are… the horror-horde of crawl-and-crush giants you’ve been hearing about…THE TRAILERS!!!

As a bonus, here’s a special song about our insect conquerors…

#WetWednesday: “The Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls” (and/or Lakes) Edition, Part 3

(Submitted with love and lust by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie, and Happy Humpday to all my Kinky Kreeps! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: WW, Elisabeth Shue, Tom Cruise, Jennifer Lynn Warren, Adrienne King, KK & Jessica Lange

Wonder Woman (2009)


Cocktail (1988)


Creature (2011)



Friday the 13th (1980)

King Kong (1976)

#WerewolfWednesday: Werewolf of Washington (1973)

E Pluribus Lupus, Monster Mashers!

It’s another wild ‘n’ weird Werewolf Wednesday here at Kinky Ho-rror! For this week’s hairy ho-wler, we’re taking to the home of history’s most ho-rrifying monsters: Washington D.C.

Werewolf of Washington is today’s chiller-diller and, boy, is it some-THING! Part Monster Movie! Part Political Satire! All Terror!
The film stars Dean Stockwell, sans green hair. He plays White House Press Secretary Jack Whitter, a man cursed with lycanthropy…  Oh, boy.
This film probably isn’t going to give you nightmares, but I don’t think it’s really supposed to. It’s clear that this film was intended to be a commentary on the NiXXXon era. Can you imagine how-l much better All the President’s Men would be if it starred the Wolfman?
Ho-wever, that doesn’t mean there ain’t some prime werewolf terror! When the hairy one shows up, it’s classic B-movie madness! While it’s certainly no Jack Pierce monsterpiece, the make-up is pretty groovy. That’s certainly something to howl about.
Keep America strong… watch Werewolf of Washington below:

News Bleed: The “Scream, Vampirella, Scream!” Edition

Scream yet again… The rebooted third season of MTV’s Scream gets a cast and details. Hollywood Reporter

John Carpenter will tell us more Tales for a HalloweeNight this September. 🙂 Bloody Disgusting

The Great Movie Ride at Disney’s Hollywood Studios will close in August. 🙁
Bleeding Cool

James Cameron goes from director to colonial marine with this sweet new Aliens figure. 🙂 Entertainment Weekly

Get some early Ghoul-tide fear with this teaser for Better Watch Out. 🙂 Movie Web

The Dark Tower is only 95 mins long. Seems short for a story told in eight books… Collider

Hack/Slash vs. Vampirella is creeping onto shelves this Halloween. 🙂 Newsarama

And the Queen of Halloween herself, Elvira, is back in kreepy komic form, thanks to the dynamite folks over at Dynamite! 😉 Bleeding Cool

#MonsterMovieMonday: Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Dedicated to George A. Romero. xoxo

Ho-wdy, Flesh Eaters! 😉

Just another #MonsterMonday here at KH, so let’s wake the dead with one of the undeniable cl-ass-sicks of the ho-rror genre. If it doesn’t scare you, you’re already dead! From 1968, It’s…
This one’s huge (hehe ;))…It’s the ultimate zombie movie; often imitated, but never duplicated. The late, great George A. Romero did what few have done and essentially created a new genre of monster fiction. Yes, Haitian/voodoo zombies eXXXisted before (and are still awesome as heck), but Romero’s film created the shambling, flesh-eating corpses we know and fear today. Without this film, there is no Return of the Living Dead, The Walking Dead, or Shaun of the Dead.
Night of the Living Dead was unleashed nearly 50 years ago, but it still has the power to get under your skin. Its shoestring budget only adds to the nightmarish nature of the film. With perfect dread and an ending that still galvanizes, this is one of the monster films that will never truly die. George A. Romero is the true King of the Zombies.
Check out this masterpiece below: