#FullFrontalFriday: The Casino, Cousins, Convent and Cross Edition

(aka the ‘C’ is for Cookie edition…#getit?? 😉 Big hugs to Smutmaster Eric for this pube-tastic post! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Kristen Wiig, Kate Winslet, Tiffany Shepis & Monique Parent

Welcome to Me (2015)

When Alice Klieg wins the Mega-Millions lottery, she immediately quits her psychiatric meds and buys her own talk show.

Jude (1996)

A stonemason steadfastly pursues a cousin he loves. However their love is troubled as he is married to a woman who tricked him into marriage and she is married to a man she does not love.

Nympha (2007)

 Sarah is a young American from New York City who travels to Italy to join the New Order convent as a cloister nun and to prepare for an arduous spiritual journey.

Blonde Heaven (1995)

 (aka Morgana)

A coven of vampires operates out of a modeling/escort agency known as Blonde Heaven. A young woman named Angie (Raelyn Saalman) arrives from Oklahoma to find her way into the movie business, followed by her boyfriend Kyle. Head vamp Illyana (Julie Strain) takes a liking to Angie and convinces her to do escort work for the agency, but has other recruiting plans for her as well.

Bonus Frontal w/ Trivia:

Michelle Bauer (circa 1986)


Began her film career in X-rated hardcore movies as “Pia Snow,” including the classic Café Flesh (1982), before moving into mainstream movies.

Amber Lynn (circa 1985)

 Became a hugely successful featured entertainer from her fame created through her work in adult films, earning up to $25,000 a week.

Ginger Lynn (1984)

Served a jail term related to tax-evasion, which was a case she insisted was politically motivated by anti-porn elements in the Ronald Reagan and George Bush “41” administrations.

Kaitlyn Ashley (the ’90s)

Author Jacob Held argued that Kaitlyn Ashley, along with Jill Kelly and Jenna Jameson is considered to be one of the most iconic adult stars of the 1990s.
Ho-stess’s PS– A #FullFrontalFlasback from lil’ ol’ me… 😉 Have a Happy Ho-rrorday weekend, Kinky Ho-mies!! 🙂 xoxoxo

#AssWednesday: The “No Pants Are the Best Pants” Edition, Part 3

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie…Happy Hump Day!! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Ekateryna Rak, Mel Gibson, Mackenzie Davis, Nicholas Braun, Josh Fadem & Anessa Ramsey

Import Export (2009, US)

A nurse from the Ukraine searches for a better life in the West, while an unemployed security guard from Austria heads East for the same reason.

Lethal Weapon (1987)

A veteran policeman, Murtaugh, is partnered with a younger, suicidal officer, Riggs. They both have one thing in common: hating working in pairs. Now they must learn to work with one another to stop a gang of drug smugglers.

Freaks of Nature (2015)

In the town of Dillford, humans, vampires and zombies were all living in peace – until the alien apocalypse arrived. Now three teenagers, one human, one vampire and one zombie, have to team up to figure out how to get rid of the visitors.

Death Race 2050 (2017)

In the year 2050 the planet has become overpopulated, to help control population the government develops a “Death Race.” Annually competitors race across the country scoring points for killing people with their vehicles.

Bonus:

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

Hidden Faces: The Masked Edition, Part 2

(Submitted by the Smuttiest Smutmaster in the known universe, Mr. Smutmaster Eric…Thanks so much, Kinky Ho-mie! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Michelle Pfeiffer, Sunny Lane, Aurora Snow, Phoenix Marie & Rosario Dawson

Batman Returns (1992)

Batman: The Animated Series, S2/Ep7 (1994)

Batgirl XXX: An Extreme Comixxx Parody (2012)

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014)

Bonus #1:

Rosario in great leaked selfies!

Bonus #2:

Kinky Klown from Outer Space

(Ha! I know that Klown!! 😉 xoxo -DP)

A Baby & Breakfast: The Mother’s Day Edition

(A special Ho-rrorday post brought to you by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, my festive friend! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Jordan Ladd, Janet Mason & Jason Brown

Grace (2009)

Pregnant Madeline Matheson (Jordan Ladd) is involved in a car accident. While in the hospital, she’s told that her unborn child is dead. Desperate after trying to have a child for years, she decides to carry the baby to term anyway. The child, a girl, initially appears stillborn. After a while starts living and Madeline names her Grace. It soon becomes clear something is wrong with the baby. It develops unhealthy smells, attracts flies, and craves blood.

 Stepmom Loves Morning Wood (2014)

Janet has been married to Larry for years, but her stepson still won’t listen to her! The busty MILF decides to make him listen the best way she knows how. She crawls down under the kitchen table while her husband reads the paper and starts sucking on Jason’s big cock until it’s rock hard. As soon as Larry leaves for work, she clears off the whole table so her horny stepson can fuck her.

Ho-stess’s PS-  Happy Mother’s Day from me, too! (Also from “Mommy Got Boobs”…What we won’t do for our kids, amirite? ;))

(Too purdy to censor… 😉 HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, KINKY HO-MIES! 🙂 xoxox)

Drivers and Passengers: The Vehicles Edition, Part 1

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Babette Bardot, Vanessa Ferlito, Jordan Ladd, Sydney Tamiia Poitier, Kurt Russell, Rose McGowan, Monica Staggs, Janet Leigh, Ali Corbin, Jason Biggs & Ted.

Mondo Topless (1964)


Death Proof (2007)

Psycho (1960)


American Reunion (2012)



Ted (2012)

Ho-stess’s PS- #TBT to that time I needed a ride ho-me from the airport… 😉

#SexOnSunday: The “We Are Groin” Edition

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…who, for the record, has a vastly different POV of the actual Guardians of the Galaxy than yours truly. It’s in my personal Top 3 comic movies, so I’m definitely going to be checking this parody out based on Eric’s glowing rec…Thanks, Kinky Ho-miebot! 🙂 xoxo)

Gnardians of the Galaxy (2015)

Running Length: 46 Mins.

Cast:

Aaron Wilcox as Pecker Quill / Star Load
Daisy Ducati as Gamwhora
Shane Diesel as Crax
April O’Neil as Rocket Raccooch
AJ as Groin

We meet Star Load in the process of stealing the “Infinity Bone” orb. After it’s in his possession, he’s interrupted by Kokrath (Tabitha Stevens) who wants it for herself. He gets by her and is next seen on a prison planet called “The Kum.” He joins forces with the other heroes and the sexy space adventure takes off!


Summation:

Gnardians is somewhat shorter than Guardians of the Galaxy, but overall more entertaining. The big budget hit didn’t have a marvelous moment and I couldn’t find an interesting trait between the five heroes. In the parody the dialogue is funnier and the characterizations a lot more enjoyable. I like the make-up, how the villain is defeated, the original theme song heard during the opening credits and its two sexual scenes are more exciting than watching numerous dull battle sequences.

Rating  out

Can be viewed for free on Woodrocket.com and is on the DVD Gnardians Of The Galaxy And Other Porn Parodies.

A Different Look: The Wigs Edition, Part 1

(Submitted by Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Jack Lemmon, Tony Curtis, Jesse Jane, Dustin Hoffman & Jessica Alba

Some Like It Hot (1959)

When two male musicians witness a mob hit, they flee the state in an all-female band disguised as women, but further complications set in.

Lollipop (2013)

A master of manipulation, Jesse turns on the charm to stay on top. She lands in the arms of an innocent man and seduces him with her flawless body.

Tootsie (1982)

Michael Dorsey, an unsuccessful actor, disguises himself as a woman in order to get a role on a trashy hospital soap.

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014)

Some of Sin City’s most hard-boiled citizens cross paths with a few of its more reviled inhabitants.

Bonus Dame:

The Kinky Ho-stess.

 

#FBF: The “Custer? I Hardly Know Her!” Edition

Ho-wdy, Kinky Ho-mies! I think we can all agree that Atari games are just about the seXXXiest thing in the cosmos, right? No? Well, the folks at Mystique certainly thought they were! You see, Mystique was a company that specialized in, um, “erotic” games. Their games included such classics as Beat ‘Em & Eat ‘Em, Bachelor Party, and, the subject of today’s article, Custer’s Revenge.

Custer’s Revenge is a game in which  General George Armstrong Custer rises from the grave to maneuver through a barrage  of arrows in order to hump an Indian girl tied to a cactus. And that’s the entire game! Custer wears nothing but a hat, boots and cavalry scarf, so his enormous 8-bit pecker is on display the entire time! It’s like watching a Lego sexually assaulting another Lego!

As you can imagine, this game didn’t go over well with… anyone. Women’s rights groups, Women Against Pornography (WAP), Native American spokespersons, and critics of the video game industry all (understandably) ripped this game apart for its wildly offensive content. Video game players hated it for being repetitive and often cite it as being one of the worst video games ever made.
The game is nothing more than a crude joke, but it’s pretty wild that a game like this ever got made…especially on Atari! Custer’s Revenge is just one of those things that has to be seen to be believed. By far, the most remarkable thing about the game is that it actually exists.

Check out the insanity below:

#TataTuesday: The Outdoor Nudity Edition, Part 5

(Submitted by our beloved Smutmaster, Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-miebot! 🙂 xoxo)

Featuring: Kayden Kross, Sophie Dee, Ania Spiering, Kellie Cockrell & Monique Parent

The Hungover Games (2014)

 Blood Scarab (2008)


Bonus:

Diana the Vampire Slayer.

(LOL Aww…Thanks for including me, Smutmaster! 🙂 xoxo)

#SexOnSunday: The Big Winner Edition

(Submitted by our Master o’ Smut, Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie!!:) xoxo)

Feeling Lucky (2014)

A spunky young woman (Rilynn Rae) saddled with unemployment, financial problems and a poseur boyfriend wins the Powerball lottery. But with economic independence comes all kinds of shady characters looking for a handout – beware!

Supporting Players: Michael Vegas, India Summer, Claire Robbins, Seth Gamble, Mr. Pete and others.


Overview:

An amusing comedy about how becoming wealthy can improve your life and cause you problems, when people just want your $$$. Rilynn Rae is a charming protagonist that does a nice job handling an assortment of characters with good and bad intentions.

You won’t feel richer for watching it, but you can pretend you’re cumming onto a big cardboard check. Worked for me!

Rating  out