Ho-wdy, Fright Fiends! SDCC got in the way of my usual #SplatterdayMourning posting, but there’s no way I’d leave you without a creepy cartoon for your wicked weekend viewing pleasure. So without further ado, I presenteth thee with KH’s very first Carnivorous Cartoon Calvacade. (#GoWithIt… ;))
We’ve got another animated atrocity to thrill you, chill you, and fulfill you! This time, we’re takin’ a scenic walk through the crypt with our favorite Master of Scar-emonies… The Cryptkeeper!
Ghoul-d Ol’ Crypty has done just about everything a creep can SCREAM of… he started with some of the influential fright comics of all SLIME, appeared in movies, had a hit Terrorvision show, made appearances at amusement parks, has had his seXXXy mug plastered on everything known to monsterkind, and even had two records! Of CORPSE, all of that isn’t enough for big shot like Ol’ Crypty. Having scared the pants off of every adult in A-SCARE-ica, The Cryptkeeper intended to do the same to all the little boils and ghouls. Yes, fright friend, Crypty had his own Splatterday Mourning Cartoon… Tales from the Cryptkeeper! Tales from the Cryptkeeper was essentially a friendly, cleaner version of the HBO show. Howl-ever, that just doesn’t mean this show doesn’t have its fare share of ghouls, ghosts, and goons. For a KILL-dren’s show. there’s still plenty o’ ho-rror to be had! Our tale from the crypt is bloodsucker entitled Fare Tonight. It’s a twisted tale of two girls who dare ask this biting question: Will the Real Vampire Please Stand Up? For all you night “people” out there, here’s Fare Tonight:
As we said in Monday’s post, the zombie as we know it just wouldn’t eXXXist without the late, great George A. Romero. The influence of his Dead films can be felt in just about every form of zombie media, notably the ever-popular Resident Evil video game franchise. We here at Kinky Ho-rror just adore the unholy heck out of out of the Resident Evil series… but who doesn’t? The franchise has sold over 77 million units sold worldwide, produced countless pieces of merchandise, inspired theme park attraction, and inspired a series of Matrix remakes.
While the series eventually went for an action/adventure style, the first few games owe much to Master Romero. From the slow-moving flesh eaters to the claustrophobic setting of the first game, there’s no doubt that these games would not eXXXist without Romero’s mad genius.
In 1998, the series acknowledged the Romero influence by hiring the man himself to direct a live-action TV commercial for Resident Evil 2 (known as Biohazard 2 in Japan). The 30-second spot features a group of gruesome zombies raising hell at a jail and features game-accurate costumes. You can watch that bit o’ awesome below…
Though it only aired in Japan, the commercial inspired Sony to hire Romero to adapt the first game into a full-length feature. Unfortunately, the film eventually died, eventually morphing into Paul W.S. Anderson’s 2002 adaptation. However, it’s been said that the success of that film and the resurgence of zombies in pop culture allowed Romero to make 2004’s Land of the Dead. As an added bit o’ Romero goodness, here’s The King of the Zombies talking about the commercial:
We lost two true legends today: director George A. Romero and actor Martin Landau. Romero was the man who gave us the zombie film as we know it today, Landau brought Bela Lugosi back to life for director Tim Burton. Both men were masters of their craft and will be deeply missed by us all. During this week, we will be paying homage to these two fallen icons. Thank you, gentlemen. May you rest well. xoxo
War is upon us, folks… the War for the Planet of the Apes, that is!
The third chapter of the Planet of the Apes reboot saga is upon us and it looks totally ape-tastic!! 🙂
However, before we go to War, we must remember the Battle…
Yes, Battle for the Planet of the Apes, the much-maligned final installment. Most fans agree that it’s the worst of the series. So do I, but that’s only because the rest of the films are so solid! Personally, I think that Battle for the Planet of the Apes is an eXXXcellent conclusion to the OG series. Sure, it looks like it was made for about 3 nickels and a MoonPie, but that’s part of the charm. It plays like an eXXXtended episode of the great 1974 TV series. Plus, it gave us two truly eXXXceptional things:
The “Ape has killed Ape” chant:
and Paul Williams performing on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson!
Yes, it’s true! To promote his role in this film, singer/songwriter/Human Muppet Paul Williams appeared on Johnny Carson’s show in full ape make-up and sings Here’s That Rainy Day! It’s completely surreal and one of the reasons why we love Paul Williams! Words cannot do justice to it, so here it is… in all its Ape-tastic glory!
You can’t keep a bad clown down… Twisty returns to American Horror Story! 🙂 Deadline Zenescope Comic-Con Exclusive Variants and gelato… this is probably the best story ever! PICK ME, ZENESCOPE!!!! 🙂 Bleeding Cool
(Ho-stess’s Note: Mr. Browning’s bday was actually yesterday, but my comp got itself an STD and needed a day to recover. Can’t NOT celebrate someone so rad, though, so as always when I’m late w stuff, just #gowithit, please… 😉 xoxo)
Happy Birthday(ish ;)) to cinema’s dark ringmaster, Mr. Tod Browning! While he directed a wide variety of films in many genres, Mr. Browning is known for his many ho-orr films and bizarre melodramas. Like many of us, Browning was utterly obsessed with carnivals and circuses. So much so that he literally ran away with the circus. Tod lived the dream and traveled with many sideshows, carnivals, and circuses. Some of Browning’s jobs included being a talker for the The Wild Man of Borneo, performed a burial act as “The Living Corpse,” and performed as a clown with Ringling Brothers Circus. Browning later worked in vaudeville as an actor, dancer, and magician. Browning may have left the circus, but the circus never left him. Many of Browning’s films dealt with the sideshow in fascinating, often macabre ways. No doubt due to his eXXXperience, his circus pictures has an air of authenticity to them. Browning would hire actual sideshow performers, giving audiences a genuine taste of the beautifully unique side of show business. Of all his circus pictures, his most beloved is 1932’s Freaks, a cl-ass-sick of ho-rror sinema that’s as powerful today as it was back then. Browning often collaborated with site favorite Lon Chaney, resulting in some of the best work in both men’s careers. Between 1919 and 1929, Browning and Chaney made 10 films together, most dealing with misfits and the bizarre. Among their films was London After Midnight, the legendary lost vampire film that still fascinates and eludes horror aficionados. While they made many great films together, our favorite is 1927’s The Unknown and we recommend it to anyone who wants an introduction to their peculiar style,
The Unknown, in its entirety:
Beyond the circus pictures, Browning made other brilliant contributions to the ho-rror genre. In 1931, he directed Dracula with Bela Lugosi. The film was originally intended to be another Chaney/Browning collaboration, but Chaney sadly passed away before it could happen. However, the film we got is one of the most important American ho-rror films ever made and launched the career of another great macabre movie star. Lugosi and Browning would later sink their teeth into Mark of the Vampire, a remake of the aforementioned London After Midnight. Browning’s final fright film was The Devil Doll, a wonderfully weird picture about a cross-dressing criminal using miniaturized humans to exact his revenge. Happy Birthday, Tod! You made sinema a circus of ho-rrors! 🙂 xoxo
Ho-wdy, Kinky Homies! Last night, I watched the most bodacious of film sequels…
That’s f-right, eXXXcellent Ho-(rror Dudes! I revisited the Stygian nightmare fuel that is Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. And boy, is it strange! It’s loaded with creepy bunnies… …Killer Robots…
…The Devil himself…
…German Expressionist-Like Family Reunions…
…References to classic British cinema…
A Matter of Life and Death (1946)
…and bitchin’ “rap” tunes.
Yes, my darklings… Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey is a delicious buffet table of radical ’90s weirdness (one we may get back to very soon ;)), and it gave us the seXXXiest Grim Reaper in the hereafter.
And modest, too!
When they say “bald is beautiful”, they’re clearly talkin’ ’bout his scythe-wieldin’ hunk!
First of all, the man takes his board games DEADly serious, like everyone should! (CLUE ain’t no laugin’ matter, son!!!! ;))
Secondly, he’s got killer rhymes! Raise the roof, you adorableAngel of Death, you…
Third(ly? :)) he’s clearly an Ingmar Bergman fan…
The Seventh Seal (1957)
Fourth(-ly? -ily? ;)), he’s frenemies with THE MOTHERFREAKIN’ CRYPTKEEPER! I mean, besides Arnold Schwarzenegger and the EC Ghoulunatics, who else has had the ho-nor of sharing the spotlight with Ol’ Crypty!? Why this happened, I will never know. But it’s pure magic nonetheless!
Last but not least, he bares a striking resemblance to Demon Knight star William Sadler, and if he ain’t an example of Manly Meatiness, I don’t know who is! 🙂 Party on, Grim! You make death feel so alive!!!! 😉 xoxo
(#TBT to yesterday when I should’ve posted this…The sentiment remains the same, though, even if I’m sliiiiiiiiiiightly late with it. 😉 xoxo)
Happy 91st Birthday to a legend among legends, Mr. Mel Brooks!
There are really no words to properly describe the gargantuan impact Mr. Brooks has had on comedy, film, and, well… everything. In his seven decades in show business, he’s pushed boundaries, made generations ho-wl with laughter, brought the film parody to its zenith, and showed us the high value of a cheap joke. He’s one of the very few people to score an EGOT (an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony) and, with a one-man show opening in Vegas, shows no signs of slowing down at 91. In addition to all of that, Mel Brooks also has some serious ho-rror cred. He directed Young Frankenstein and Dracula: Dead and Loving It, the former being (arguably) one of the greatest and most respectful horror spoofs of all time. As for actual ho-rror films, Brooks produced Cronenberg’s The Fly and The Doctor and the Devils by Hammer legend Freddie Francis. While not strictly horror, he also produced David Lynch’s haunting The Elephant Man. In 2015, Mr. Brooks lent his voice to the vampire Vlad in Hotel Transylvania 2.
Happy Birthday, Mel Brooks! May you live to be 2000! 🙂 xoxoxo
Ho-wdy, Franken-Freaks! Welcome to #TerrorTrailerTuesday, a new feature on the site on which we eXXXhume the spook-tacular trailers for a cl-ass-sick fright film series, the flicks of a ho-rror icon, or monster movies featuring a certain kind of creature. Today we’re stealing fire from the Gods, desecrating graves, and going to pieces for Peter Cushing’s Dr. Frankenstein! Is there any mad scientist madder than Peter Cushing’s Frankenstein? This quack dives head-first into depravity and never comes up air! While he has been portrayed in a somewhat heroic light (Evil of Frankenstein, ironically enough), he’s usually the biggest creep in the tomb. Cushing’s brilliant portrayal is both endlessly chilling and weirdly charming, the latter makes his ghastly deeds all the more ho-rrible.
It was a stroke of mad genius on Hammer’s part to make Cushing’s mad doctor the focus of their Frankenstein films, for no ghoul can compare to the great fiend who makes them. And there is no greater fiend than Cushing’s Frankenstein. With Cushing, the doctor was always in… sane. 🙂
Without any further a-boo, here are the trailers for the Cushing Frankenstein films!