Splatterday Matinee Virtual Drive-In: The “Titans of Terror” Edition

Salutations, Students of the Macabre! Today is an eXXXtra special day for us Kinky Krees! We’re skull-ebrating the birthdays (and pure amazingness) of a peerless Triple Threat of Classic Ho-rror Greatness: the abominable Vincent Price, the vampiric Christopher Lee, and the madly scientific Peter Cushing!
Yessiree, Blob! Vinnie P. and Chris Lee were born on this day and Peter C. was born yesterday!  We’ve ho-nored the un-ho-ly heck out of these Princes of Darkness many times before, but they deserve it! These three gentle-monsters represent the very best that ho-rror cinema has to offer. Even in the goofiest, ho-kiest picture, these gentleman brought a supernatural grace and dignity. They made our collective nightmares pleasant ones and gave the Creatures of the Night a cool elegance. If there were a Mount Rushmore of Ho-rror (Mount Blood-Gushmore? Mount Rushgore?), you better believe these ghoulish gents would be on it!
For their Birthdays, we’ve put together the very first Kinky Horror Virtual Drive-In! We’re giving you a spooky-cool drive-in eXXXperience from the (dis)comfort of your tomb! There’s just no better way to ho-nor our Birthday Boils than to show off the ghoulish performances that stole our hearts and turned our hair white!.
First, a cartoon starring Mr. Price! After all, it is Saturday morning (somewhere ;)), so let us do it up right! The cartoon is an episode of 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo and it features Vincent Price as… well, Dr. Strange! A legally safe knock-off, that is. Since Vinnie P. inspired Dr. Strange, I suppose we can’t get TOO mad. 🙂 Besides, anything that features Vincent Price fighting ghosts and demons with black magic (and the Scooby Gang! :)) is spooky-cool by me!

Next, a friendly word from our sponsor and Mr. Cushing. (#GushingForCushing :)) You’ll have to pardon Peter… he’s having a guest DROP in! 🙂

Now, an important educational short from Mr. Lee. If you’re going to stay in this crazy game called Life, you’re gonna have to do The Time Warp! You may even need to The Time Warp… again! Mr. Lee is here to show you how it’s done! 🙂

And now…

Hammer Films gave history the (severed) finger with Rasputin – The Mad Monk! Christopher Lee gives one of his best performances as the maniacal mystic. If you ever wanted to see the story of Rasputin done as a Dracula film, this one’s for you!

The Doctor is In… Sane! Vincent Price slays again in this Art Deco nightmare! (Not to be confused with the Kinky Ho-rror writer of the same name…That’s totally a coincidence! ;)0


And for the last of the trailers, Peter Cushing is one of eight potential werewolves in The Beast Must Die, a ho-wlin’ whodunit from the folks at Amicus. The only film with the WEREWOLF BREAK, an inserted 30-second break that asks YOU to guess the werewolf’s identity! (So. Freaking. Rad!!! :))

And now it’s time for our…

Our first film is The Satanic Rites of Dracula, the last of the Hammer Dracula films. It’s nowhere near the quality of the earlier films, but it’s an interesting mix of spy thriller and Gothic ho-rror. Dracula really thinks big in this one. Instead of biting the necks a few buXXXom maidens, he plans on destroying the world! No, Drac! It’s best place to find awesome ho-rror films!

Horror of Dracula (1958)

While it’s not their best film, Satanic Rites of Dracula features Christopher Lee’s Dracula and Peter Cushing’s Van Helsing together again for the last time. Heck, Chris Lee’s Drac even gets some decent lines in this one! It ain’t perfect, but it does showcase two greats doing their freaky thing!

For a bit o’ Lee and Cushing, check out the film below:

INTERMISSION

We’re back! Our last attraction is The Last Man on Earth with, you guessed it, Vincent Price! The film is the first adaptation of Richard Matheson and the closest to the source material. Vinnie P. goes a full-blown stake-out here, eXXXisting as the only human in a world of vampires. What’s great about this film is that it’s one of the few times Vincent Price got to be the hero in a fright film. In this film, he’s not the monster… or is he!?!!? 😉

To see that the Price is Fright, check out the film below:


Here’s to you, gents! Thanks for making the world a creepier place! 🙂

R.I.P. Michael Parks

It is with a heavy heart that I must share the passing of film legend Michael Parks. Mr. Parks has appeared in more than 100 films and TV shows over 50+ years. His career began back in the 1960s and he garnered wide recognition as the star of the series Then Came Bronson.  Mr. Parks worked steadily for many years, but achieved a  career renaissance in the 1990s when he appeared in Twin Peaks and Robert Rodriguez’s From Dusk Till Dawn. The latter was the debut of Mr. Parks’ most recognized character, Sheriff Earl Mcgraw. As Earl McGraw, Michael Parks appeared in the aforementioned From Dusk Till Dawn,  Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (Parks appeared in Vol. 2 as a different character), and both Rodriguez’s Planet Terror and Tarantino’s Death Proof for Grindhouse.  He reunited with Tarantino once more in Django Unchained.
The news was revealed on Instagram by Kevin Smith, who directed Mr. Parks in Red State and Tusk, in parts written specifically for the actor. Here’s what Mr. Smith had to say:

I hate to report that my cinematic muse #michaelparks has passed away. Michael was, and will likely forever remain, the best actor I’ve ever known. I wrote both #RedState and @tuskthemovie FOR Parks, I loved his acting so much. He was, hands-down, the most incredible thespian I ever had the pleasure to watch perform. And Parks brought out the absolute best in me every time he got near my set. From the moment I saw him steal the opening scene of #fromdusktildawn at an advance screening at the Sunset 5 back in the mid-90’s, I said to @samosier “Could you imagine what it must be like to work with a Yoda of acting like that guy? I gotta write for him one day.” It took me 15 years but my dream came true on Red State (for which Parks won Best Actor at the @sitgesfestival) and then again years later with #tusk. Only Michael Parks could have delivered the line “Is man indeed a walrus at heart?” and make it scary as fuck. My favorite memory of Michael is watching him and #johnnydepp act with and at each other, like a couple of dueling wizards, in their shared scene in Tusk. Parks was in Heaven that day, sharing the screen with another brilliant actor and creating an unforgettable performance. He elevated any flick or TV show he was in and elevated every director he ever acted for. I was so fucking blessed to have worked with this bonafide genius. But really, I was just lucky to have known him at all. My heart goes out to James (Michael’s son), Oriana (Michael’s wife), Quentin Tarantino (Michael’s biggest fan) and any movie or music lover who was ever dazzled by the talents of Michael Parks. Farewell, old friend. I’ll see you farther along… #KevinSmith #actor #genius #rip #walrusyes

A post shared by Kevin Smith (@thatkevinsmith) on

Thank you, Mr. Parks. xo

Goon Review: Pulse (1988)

(Submitted by his Goon-y Greatness, Mr. Andrew Peters…Thanks, Ho-rror Ho-mie! 🙂 xoxo)

When Benjamin Franklin discovered electricity, I don’t think he would have imagined that it would give people superpowers or even become sentient and go on a killing spree. As we all know, electricity is basically like radioactivity in comic books; you’re pretty much guaranteed super powers. Electricity grants Horace Pinker god like powers in Shocker and can even transform a serial killer into living electricity that can travel through any current in your home, like in Ghost in the Machine. Hell, it even turned regular earthworms into carnivorous killer creatures in Squirm, but what if electricity itself was the killer? No reason, no logic, no remorse, nothing. There would be no way to stop it! Goddamn you, Ben Franklin!

And that’s the idea behind 1988’s Pulse starring Joey Lawrence, the teenage heartthrob from Blossom who would later make “woah!” a catchphrase. Of course, this is a few years before that and he’s almost unrecognizable, but once you see it, there’s no unseeing it. Although to be fair, he actually gives a good performance as a kid visiting his dad in LA when the evil electricity decides to cause mayhem. That’s basically the premise of this PG-13 horror film and I know from what I just said I am making it seem like it may be bad just because it’s PG-13, but it really isn’t all that bad even if there isn’t much going on beyond the one sentence description I gave it. The film nearly relies solely on Joey Lawrence’s performance as he spends a good majority of the film alone in the house leisurely investigating noises and so on, but you never feel like he’s in any real danger.

Joey plays young David, the child of divorced parents, so you know he already has some turmoil. Rather than bog itself down in it, the film omits any of the messy divorce baggage, but you get the idea David and his father Bill’s (Cliff De Young) relationship has weakened a bit, like friends that are growing apart. David doesn’t act out against his dad or his stepmother, Ellen (Roxanne Hart), like you see in most films about a child of divorce. David is actually calm and understanding, making him much more relatable and you kinda root for the kid. Being in LA away from his home, he has no friends or anyone besides his dad and Ellen to talk to and with his dad being too busy with work for the few scenes they attempt to have them interact. It’s a staple of the divorced-kid-visiting-one-of-his-parents kind of movie. Everyone is adjusting to the best of their abilities and it certainly doesn’t help that the neighbor is mysteriously murdered the night before David’s arrival. At least they’ll all have something to talk about right away. No awkward dinner silence.

Who or what could have done it? Nobody seems to have a clue except the good ol’, typical prophet of doom character who, by the way, is only referred to as “Old Man.” He begins spitting off stories about how the electricity is responsible for the murder, as it once tried to kill him. Understandably, everyone thinks he’s crazy. His character adds no weight to anything, not even as a motivation for David. David’s motivation comes from a neighborhood kid named Steve, played by Joey Lawrence’s real life brother, Matthew and this kid… hoo boy, lemme tell ya, this kid here. With his high pitched, scratchy cartoon voice and over the top enthusiasm, he brings a big eyed, charmingly whimsical cartoon like performance to the role, but like with most of the other characters, he has a very minimal screen time. He’s essentially there to try and give David someone about his own age to connect to and to drop some exposition on what happened in his neighbor’s house. Curious, David decides he should explore the house, but it doesn’t amount to anything.

Apparently already having selected its next victim, the electricity begins to torment David by screwing with all the electronics when he’s alone in the house. Lights flicker, the thermostat goes up and there’s an eerie blue light that darts around on the TV like an ECG and, yeah, that’s about it. There’s not much else it can do, so it screws with David’s comfort. Apparently, this is enough for him to call his mother and cry that he wants to go home, because he doesn’t feel safe. This is solidified once Ellen is nearly burned alive by hot water in the shower, leaving David and his father, who is still skeptical at this point, alone in the house. This is when the movie gets really intense and interesting. The electricity has decided it’s had enough fun and it’s time to kill them. David’s father becomes stuck in the house after nearly everything has tried to kill him. It’s up to David to rescue him, and there were moments where I wasn’t sure whether something bad was going to happen to them.

Pulse is a really simple movie with not much going on and at times it can feel like it’s dragging or perhaps a bit underwhelming, but there are other times when that works to the film’s advantage and creates tension, mostly in the final act… if you’ve managed to make it that far in the movie. It’s really not a bad movie, but I think most horror fans will find it boring and probably will have shut it off before the film’s climax. Giving the idea behind the film is somewhat absurd, I hate saying this, but I feel like this is a film that could have benefited from accidentally being unintentionally cheesy. However, some may find Joey Lawrence’s surprisingly great performance worthy of sticking around.

I think where the film suffers the most from is not having more of a relationship between David and his father, since obviously these two are going to be fighting to survive in the climax, depending on each other to make it through it. They only share a few scenes together, and you do get the idea that they are drifting apart. David is desperately trying to connect with his father who is too busy with work. Surprisingly, David builds a stronger relationship with his stepmother that the film touches on more, but again, it could have used a little more work. Roxanne Hart was fantastic as the compassionate stepmother. It seems like she’s never had to deal with kids, but manages to connect with David and is really sweet to him. Plus, she’s really easy on the eyes which isn’t a bad thing. If I were in David’s shoes, all I would be able to think about is all the pornos about your stepmother coming on to and since dad’s not home… well, maybe not at that age, but you get what I mean, right? Moving on.

There isn’t much else to say about Pulse. It’s not terrible by any stretch of the imagination, there just isn’t all that much going on, like I said earlier. Obviously, the gorehounds won’t be interested in a film that has but a mere few drops of blood and if you’re looking for a body count movie, you should look elsewhere. The single death scene that claims one victim takes place at the beginning and that’s off screen. The most visceral attack to be shown on screen – or should I say at all – is when Ellen is taking a shower and the electricity somehow manages to lock the shower door (which is not electrically locked, so… how?) and turns the heat up, causing some nasty looking blisters and nearly killing her. Cool plan and all, the effects looked great, but if the electricity really wanted to kill her, why wouldn’t it just send a current through the water? As you may be gathering from my nitpicking, the premise is extremely silly and could easily be defeated by simply unplugging stuff, grounding wires or just using common sense. It’s much like having your character do the stupidest thing imaginable in order to move the plot along, only here it’s with electricity.
I found my copy of Pulse for only $6 on Blu-ray from Mill Creek. Yes, the same Mill Creek that puts out all those 50 films on a handful of DVDs released a fairly decent looking copy of this movie and at that price, it’s worth watching. Just don’t expect anything extravagant.

Ho-stess’s PS- Whoa!! 🙂 xoxo

#SuperheroSaturday Cartoon Time: Captain America, Episode 1

Happy Free Comic Book Day, true believers! Question: who’s strong and brave, here to save the American Way?

That’s right, comic creeps! It’s Captain America, the Star-Spangled Man with a plan! I just love a man in uniform, especially one who knows how to work a (flag)pole! 😉

We all know Cap is a Hitler-punchin’, swear-hatin’ butt-kicker with a heart of gold, but how did he get to be that darn awesome? Captain America: The First Avenger gave us an origin story, but it wasn’t the first. Oh no, sir! That ho-nor belongs to first episode of Captain America from 1966!

Airing as part of  The Marvel Super Heroesthe first episode of Captain America was actually three chapters that made up a whole story. These chapters were The Origin of Captain America, Wreckers Among Us, and Enter Red Skull.

What makes this cartoon eXXXtra special for today is that, like all The Marvel Super Hero shorts, this superheroic adventure was taken straight out of the comics in every conceivable way! The animation consisted of photocopied images taken directly from the comic art and manipulated to created “motion.” These Marvel toons certainly didn’t move much, but what they did do is showcase the art of Marvel’s best and brightest. In this Cap Cartoon, you’ll see some art work from the legendary Jack Kirby come to life, and what could be more appropriate for Free Comic Book Day than that? Excelsior!

Check out Cap and his Mighty Shield below:

 

Happy 421! ;)

Ok, so after this post, I promise to get my shizzle together and start posting things on the appropriate day (for at least one whole week…THIS I VOW!!! ;)), but for today let’s just enjoy a drug-induced #FBF together, shall we?

If I had posted this on time I wouldn’t have been able to post these pics from last night’s premiere screening of Evil Bong 666, so yay weed, basically. 😉

I was maybe a lil’ high during this screening, so I didn’t cover it as well as I might have otherwise. Here’s an eXXXample of my crackin’ coverage:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! High-larious, amirite??? If you want conventional coverage of the night’s festivities, you can check out Full Moon’s official vidcast right here:

And here’s a bunch of weed-y stuff I should’ve posted yesterday, but I’ll be darned if I’m gonna let being late by one day KILL our buzz…Happy Four Twenty (One ;), Kinky Ho-mies!! 🙂 xoxo

 

Happy Birthday, Crispin Glover & Clint Howard!! :)

Happy Birthday to two site favorites: Clint Howard and Crispin Glover!

Both Mr. Glover and Mr. Howard are among the most beloved actors in the world of cult cinema. Neither one is your average leading man, but they’d be far less intriguing if they were.

Crispin Glover is one of the most unique personalities in cinema. He has appeared in blockbuster crowd-pleasers, but his heart clearly lies with the darker, challenging side of film. As an artist in many fields, Mr. Glover is always provocative and has the uncanny ability to perturb viewers in fascinating ways. While the average film-goer may recognize him as the nebbish father in Back to the Future, Glover’s acting work has included everything from slasher films (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter), art films (Dead Man), big-budget fantasy (Alice in Wonderland), offbeat crime films (Wild at Heart), black comedies (Nurse Betty), and other varied films. No matter the film, Glover always brings an intensity and strange quality that is all his own. Glover has brought his surreal talents to directing with What Is It? and It Is Fine! Everything Is Fine, both part of a planned “It” trilogy. There’s no denying that Glover is a true original.

Clint Howard will (to the general public, anyway) always be known simply as “Ron Howard’s brother”,  but has Ron had memorable roles on three different versions of Star Trek? No, but Clint sure has! In fact, Clint has had a pretty legendary career in his own right. Starting in 1963, Clint Howard has been in… well, just about everything. Mr. Howard is the ultimate character actor. He’s been in countless iconic television shows, horror movies (including The Ice Cream Man, a favorite of our fearless ho-stess!), comedies (the first two Austin Powers movies, among many others.), has gone face-to-face with Captain Kirk and Dr. McCoy on the original Star Trek series, and was Roo (!) in two Disney Winnie the Pooh shorts! In 1998, Howard won the MTV Lifetime Achievement Award. It was clearly a gag, but it shouldn’t have been. Clint Howard has been around for over four decades and has produced many roles and moments that will be remembered by fans forever. If that isn’t award-worthy, we don’t know what is.

 In honor of these two eccentric gentlemen, we thought it would be appropriate to have a little music… performed by the birthday boys, of course! The first is a new wave rocker performed by Clint Howard and the Kempsters, the second is Crispin Glover doing his best (and the all-time best) Olivia Newton-John in The Orkly Kid. Both performances are delightfully strange, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Happy Birthday, Boys!

 

#TBT: Happy Birthday, Tim Curry!! :)

(Had to make this a #TBT post because the silly place I was filming yesterday had a “pornography” block on the Wi-Fi thingy and I couldn’t log into MY OWN SITE from there. Craziness!! Ah well…It’s only a day late, which is still right on time by Kinky Ho standards. 😉 I’m only calling this a #TBT because I have to move immediately on to some other sweetass bday celebrations, and don’t want to confuse folks. So, Happy *begrudgingly belated* birthday, Mr. Curry. All us Kinky Ho-s love the living shizzle out of you!! 🙂 xoxoxo)

 

Happy Birthday to Wadsworth/Pennywise/Darkness/Dr. Frank-N-Furter/Gomez Addams/Long John Silver/High Priest of all that is spooky and awesome, the Legend-ary Tim Curry!!! 🙂


I know we talk about Mr. Curry A LOT here, but that’s only because he’s one of the greatest things to ever happen to cinema! He oozes creepy charm and made a sewer clown, horned demon, and the embodiment of pollution seXXXy as heck! 🙂 Curry is, in short, the coolest ghoul in school. 🙂
In ho-nor of this fright icon’s big day, I’d thought I’d share this magical melody with ya. 🙂 What could possibly spookier or cooler than Tim “Frank-N-Furter” covering a song by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, the original shock rocker? It’s a match made in Halloween Heaven. 🙂 Enjoy.

Happy Birthday, Tim! You never fail to make us shiver with antici…

…Pation. 🙂 xoxo

Ho-stess’s PS- See??? It’s so not my fault I was late posting this!!! 😉

Ho-stess’s PPS– Since we’re doing belated birthdays, it was also my #1 Dreamboat Studmuffin of All-time Ever’s Birthday the day before Mr. Curry’s. (Also known to lame-men as April 18. ;)) Happy *unbegrudgingly belated* Birthday to the incomparable Mr. Rick Moranis. 🙂 xoxo

 

#FBF: The “Adult Swimming with The Tall Man” Edition

You play a good game, boy, but the game is finished. Now… you watch Adult Swim!

In the year of 2004, Adult Swim summoned the late, great Angus Scrimm to ho-st a Halloween marathon of the freakiest episodes of one of Adult Swim’s freakiest shows: Aqua Teen Hunger Force!
Master Scrimm was at his Tall Man best, with a menacing glare and that wonderfully frightful voice. Dressed to kill in black, Scrimm knocks ’em dead with his signature grimaces and a few classic Phantasm quotes sprinkled about. Even in the goofiest setting, there’s nothing like Mr. Scrimm letting out a “BOY!” to freeze the blood and paralyze the soul!
Like Vincent Price before him, it’s clear that he had a “ball” with his ghoulish persona. Each bumper delivers a chill and a wink in a way that only a true Prince of Terror could pull off. Whether in a funeral home or a late night cable spot, The Tall Man knew how to deliver the creeps. Who else but Scrimm could make a shake, some meat, and an order of fries seem so ghastly?

Check out the bumpers/commercials below……if you have the balls! 😉 xoxo

Random Side Note: I totally had a thing for Meatwad back in the day…#MME 😉 xoxo

Happy 33rd Birthday, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter!

Three Times Before You Have Felt The Terror, Known The Madness, Lived The Horror. But This Is The One You’ve Been Screaming For…

Happy Birthday to Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, the greatest (and Crispin Glover-iest) of all the Friday the 13th films!!!!!!! 🙂

Now, if you’ve been paying attention to the site. you know I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEE this jaunty Jason jam! I mean, how can you not?! It has Corey “Feld-Dog” Feldman, Mah Boo, and Crispin Glover at his dirty danciest! 😉 However, if you need further explainin’, allow me to do so in the video below…

We all know how perfect the film is, but did you know there is an alternate ending? It’s crazy to think they almost ended on something other than bald Corey Feldman staring at the camera, but it’s true!

Originally, the ending was supposed to uphold the proud Friday the 13th tradition of a Carrie-like fake-out. After “defeating” Jason, Tommy and Trish (the survivors) wake up to the sound of police sirens. Trish notices water dripping from the ceiling and decides to investigate. She enters the upstairs bathroom and discovers her mother’s lifeless body floating in the bathtub. Suddenly, the mother’s eyes pop open to reveal ghastly white eyes! Jason appears behind the horror-stricken Trish, ready to strike! As Jason is about to finish her… Trish wakes up and it was all a dream.

As, um, interesting as that would have been, I prefer the more Feldman-tastic ending we got. However, I recommend checking out the original  ending below. The original audio is lost, but the cast and crew provide their commentary. It’s a eXXXtremely cool bit o’ Friday history. Mah Boo approves!

Happy Birthday, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter! You’ll forever be slashin’ away at our hearts!! 🙂 xoxoxo

#F134TBTPS

(With Ted White, the sweetest Jason evah! :))(The first time I met the dreamy Mr. Jimmy Mortimer himself :))

(And the pic that got me Twitter-banned for a while…while I was in Japan tweeting about Crispin’s shows, actually, even though I’d had it up ages before that. Hmmm…That CAN’T be a coincidence. Clearly those Twitter bastiches are #TeamFreddy!! ;)) xoxo

Happy Birthday, Roger Corman!

A very Happy 91st (!) Birthday to the Pope of Pop Culture, Mr. Roger Corman! 🙂

There’s just no way overstate how Fang-Freakin’-Tastic this audacious auteur of awesome really is! He brought credibility to eXXXploitation films, made indie film-making cool, brought art films like from the likes of Kurosawa and Bergman to the mainstream, and jump-started the careers of everyone from James Cameron to Martin Scorsese. This brilliant B-movie badass also directed the original Little Shop of Horrors, so he indirectly gave us the steamy, dreamy manly meatiness that is Rick Moranis as Seymour Krelborn! For this feat alone, this man is my hero!! 😉
To skullebrate his birthaversary, we’re providing you fright fiends with one of King Corman’s favorites from his own catalogue: 1964’s The Masque of the Red Death!

While Hammer was scoring big with their takes of European fright favorites, Roger Corman went to (vampire) bat for the U.S.A. with his technicolor terror tales adapted from the works of American spookster Edgar Allan Poe. As eXXXcellent as the other Poe flicks are, I think his Masque of the Red Death is the sharpest spike on this iron maiden. Vincent “The Price is Fright” Price is at his Vincent Priciest here, cackling and creeping around as the nastiest monarch this side of King Joffrey! (#timelyreferencesaretimely ;)) The atmosphere is chilling and the cinematograophy is so colorfully creepy, one might suspect that Dario Argento took notes on this flick before making Suspiria. (#thingsthatmakeyougohmm #eventimlierreferencesaretimlier! :))

The film didn’t do too well at the time, but is now seen as a shining example of Corman’s greatness as a director. We here at KH just love it to pieces. If Ingmar Bergman decided to be awesome and make a ho-rror film, he would have made something like this! 🙂

To see Red, click on the box below:

Happy Birthday, Mr. Corman! You rock our kollectively Kinky socks!! 🙂 xoxoxo