Rest in Peace, Haruo Nakajima.

Haruo Nakajima was, in more ways than one, the King of the Monsters. From 1954 to 1972, Nakajima was the man behind Godzilla, donning the legendary suit for some of the greatest monster movies of all time. As if one timeless sci-fi icon wasn’t enough, the great Nakajima also portrayed Rodan  Varan, Baragon, Gaira, the larva form of Mothra, and several kaijus in both Ultra Q and Ultraman. Nakajima was a true giant in genre cinema and his creatures will continue to inspire both fright and delight in fright fans for many years to come. Haruo Nakajima was an incredible, unstoppable titan of terror.


Rest in Peace, King of the Monsters. xoxo

#MonsterMovieMonday: Monster from a Prehistoric Planet (1967)

Ho-wdy, Kinky Kreeps! Just another Mad Monster Monday here at Kinky Ho-rror, so we’re using a rubber…suit, that is. 😉

Today’s featured creature feature is 1967’s Monster from a Prehistoric Planet… among a thousand other names! The film has also gone under the tit-les Daikyojû GappaGappa: The Giant Beast, Gappa, The Triphibian Monster, Gappa: The Triphibian Monster, and Gappa – Frankensteins fliegende Monster (Gappa – Frankenstein’s Flying Monster) in Germany. That last one is especially awesome because this movie has zero to do with Frankenstein!

The only thing it has in common with Frankenstein is that it seems to be made up parts of other films, namely Gojira (1954) and Gorgo (1961).  It’s been suggested that the film is a satire of kaiju films, but it resembles the real thing closely. And, if you’re a kreature kreep like us, that’s far from a bad thing! This film is loaded with kind of low-budget destruction we here at KH adore!

You know what they say… big feet… big monster!

Check out the giant-sized terror below:

Have a Monstrously Marvelous week, Kinky Ho-mies! 🙂 xoxo

Goon Reviews: Waxwork Collection

(Submitted by Mr. Andrew Peters…Thank you, Ho-rror Ho-mie! And yeah, we can definitely agree…Waxxx statues are creepy AF!! It seems like they were solely invented for murderin’ purposes!! 😉 xoxo)

Can we agree that wax statues are creepy? Something about their shiny complexion and mannequin-like thousand yard stares that seem to follow you no matter where you are in a room are perfect nightmare fuel and yet very underused in horror film. You have fantastic exceptions like House of Wax (I’m talking the Vincent Price classic) that uses wax shells over human corpses to display the madman’s work. Surprisingly, this is an idea that was never fully exploited in the horror genre. What about rampaging, killer wax statues? Well, something like that did happen and it was actually a lot of fun.

Waxwork was a really imaginative horror comedy from director Anthony Hickox that was fun, adventurous, scary and gory. Like, surprisingly gory. At times, these varying moods can seem confusing as to which age group or audience it’s aiming to please, but a majority of the time they mesh well and make the movie a complete blast to watch. It captures that whole high-school-teens-in-trouble-with-the-supernatural-but-nobody-believes-them concept that the ‘80s loved so much, yet also seemingly captures the whimsy and magical wonder of movies you loved as a kid, except with a lot more creatures eating people and head’s getting cut off. Honestly, at different points in the film I felt like I was watching a fun, enchanted kids fantasy film and then the language and gore will totally throw you for a loop, but it’s a small you loop you learn to accept and it’s blended pretty decently.

Gremlins star Zach Galligan plays rich, spoiled high school elite Mark who acts maybe a little too mature for his age when he isn’t playing the overly jealous and possessive ex-boyfriend role to China. Not the country (lawlz), but the beautiful Michelle Johnson’s character. There seems to be a love triangle between him, her, a couple other dudes and the shy, petite virgin, Sarah (Valley Girl’s Deborah Foreman). Guess who will end up together? This all takes up the first several minutes, probably more, of the movie and kinda sprinkled here and there throughout the movie, but ultimately it’s irrelevant to the main course. A Waxwork operated by the always commanding and charming David Warner appears seemingly out of nowhere overnight and Mark and his friends China, Sarah and Tony (Twin Peaks’ Dana Ashbrook) are invited to check out it’s grand opening. I get a feeling it’s gonna be killer!

I apologize for that last attempt at a joke. I’m writing this while getting over the flu for the second time this year already.

Tony almost immediately finds himself drawn into a werewolf display, quite literally. He instantly begins having a long monologue and believing he was somehow hypnotized and that’s how he can see, feel and smell his surroundings. Gotta give Bobby Briggs credit for keeping his cool and still being a dick about the situation. He comes across a cabin with John Rhys-Davies who turns into a werewolf, which is what I’m sure would happen in real life if you were trapped in a cabin with him. Tony is bitten and begins transforming, but not before some hunters with silver bullets put them down. The camera very artistically pulls out to reveal the aftermath as the display just as Mark walks by looking for his friends who seem to be having their own gory adventures, like China who gets drawn in my Dracula’s gaze or maybe it’s because Miles O’Keefe has that super intense stare. This is one of the more gorier sequences and it uses some of those moments to a more humorous advantage, like with a man strapped to a table missing the meat off his leg and people keep hitting it and he screams in pain as he’s trying to help guide Sarah how to kill the vampires.

With a few friends missing, Sarah and Mark leave and get the police involved, one of which is one of my favorite cliches, a chain smoking detective who has a short temper. This detective takes a walk through the Waxwork and can’t help but notice all of the victims in the displays look a lot like people that have gone missing. Could it be a coincidence? Time to investigate, but not tell any other cops what you’re up to so when you go missing, nobody comes looking for you. There is a point for David Warner to be doing this, I think, that comes out when Mark visits his godfather who reveals to him all kinds of things about the occult and Satan, so you know, typical evil stuff, but it all leads to an absolutely glorious, silly, batshit battle between the wax monsters and a bunch of old guys with sabers. At least watch it for an old man in an electric powered wheelchair covered in flimsy armor and spikes.

I would say that Waxwork is imaginative, creative and a lot of fun most of the time, even if it’s not consistent at those. It’s funny at times, can be creepy and I thought the makeup work was excellent and even with some of the gore cut, it’s still pretty gory, especially when you see an old man get his head yanked off. Each one of the sequences feels like a different short film directed in a different style or by a different person and yet it fits. I especially liked the black and white zombie sequence. The sequel, Waxwork II: Lost in Time, on the other hand, well, is something of the exact opposite of that, but not for the lack of trying. The film certainly tries to recapture that same humor, magic and excitement, but unfortunately feels misguided and nothing seems to work where it should. Most of the jokes aren’t funny, the plot pieces seem out of place and the overall idea seems lost in what it’s trying to do and nothing mixes.

The sequel picks up immediately where the original left off with Mark and Sarah escaping the burning Waxwork building with Mark having significantly longer hair and Sarah significantly being a completely different actress. Clearly some time has passed, plenty of movies have continuity issues between sequels, so let’s just ignore it and move on. Sarah goes home to an almost abusive stepfather played by George ‘Buck’ Flower who’s murdered by the escaped severed hand at the end of the first film, which Sarah then completely pulverised Evil Dead style in the dish drain. Ok, so now that that’s happened, where do you go? How about to a semi-serious courtroom drama about the aftermath of the events and Sarah being on trial for the murder of her stepfather, her friends and the events that happened at the Waxwork? I know this seems like it could be an interesting way to take the franchise at this point, but how do you follow up something that was somewhat lighthearted, magical and scary by throwing in the idea of ‘this is what would happen in real life’? It’s a little jarring and with what’s about to follow, it’s gonna be like mixing peanut butter and shaving cream. Sure, you can do it, but should you? It doesn’t blend well and what you get is a mishmash of ideas that should have been their own entities and an film that leaves you unsure of how to feel.

Shit seems to be getting pretty serious, so the Mark decides that if they travel through time, they can collect some evidence and prove that the magic is real and Sarah will be totally innocent. Yeah, sure, that makes total sense. See what I mean about tonal whiplash? Also at this point, you’re going to start to notice that this is kind of an in name only sequel, meaning the idea of a Waxwork or what you think of is no longer, but it’s more like a continuing adventure, which I have to hand to them for trying something different. We are taken to some rather cool places, like a Frankenstein story where you really learn that the physical humor was really cranked up, but is more noticeably ineffective, a House on Haunted Hill era where I don’t remember what the hell the point of this one was, but like the zombie sequence in the first film is the most memorable and humorous mostly due to Bruce Campbell’s role and his physical humor as well as the camera work and lighting. The last segment is a magical kind of King Arthur sort of story and it’s at this point I had to wonder why this was called Lost in Time when none of the things happening are accurate to time or at least the real world’s time.

Well, short answer is because it’s later explained by a goddamn bird – yes, a bird – that it’s a parallel world. Ok, fair enough, but wouldn’t the title Lost in a Parallel Dimension be more accurate? Probably not as catchy, but at least I wouldn’t be able to call bullshit. I digress, but at this point you’re probably starting to notice just how padded this movie is and it’s going to drag and drag… and drag, especially the ending sword fight, which offers some cool ideas, but at some point you will feel like screaming, “END!” at your television. And it will… nearly two hours later. Yes, this is almost a two hour movie and so much could have been cut out of it. Whereas in the first film director Anthony Hickox managed to find a fine line in between all these different styles and genres, Waxwork II couldn’t find that same comfort zone. Nothing really blends well and you constantly feel like you’re watching a different film.

This is number three in Vestron’s Blu-ray library as a double features and although it’s under one package, each film is on its own disc as new a HD transfer and has their own special features. Well the first film has special features, the second film just has a trailer and audio commentary from Anthony Hickox and Zach Galligan, but you know what mean. The first Waxwork film has a six part documentary called The Waxwork Chronicles, a vintage “making of” featurette, as well as a trailer and a still gallery. Waxwork is also presented uncut, so even if you don’t like the second film, it’s still worth picking up for that alone.

#MeanMenMonday: Menaces in Movies

(or #MadMonsterMonday and/or #ManMeatMonday, if you prefer. Regardless, there’s a whole lotta #MMM up in here! 😉 xoxo)

#MeanMenMonday (submitted by Eric…Though since there are, like, zero boobs in this post, I suspect there’s actually some sort of Alien Replicant action happening here. 😉 xo)

The Invisible Man (1933)

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Dr. Jack Griffin (Claude Rains) is so wrapped up in himself! (HA!!! :))

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Going off the rails on a crazy train!

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Covering up like he was just caught masturbating!

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(Why do dudes do that, btw? Let it fly free and proud, I say!!! 😉 -DP)

Witchfinder General (1968)

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Mathew Hopkins (Vincent Price) on a reign of terror 1645.

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Brings a gun to a sword fight. Unfair!

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Has women burned alive. Cruel!

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Enter the Dragon (1973)

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Han (Shih Kien) loves slicing up his adversaries!

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More wicked when he’s smiling!

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Acts like a Bond villain!

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The Devil’s Rejects (2005)

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Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig) isn’t clowning around!

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Sweet talking ladies isn’t his strong suit!

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He’s not very good with children!

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The Road Warrior (1981)

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Lord Humungus (Kjell Nilsson) is leader of vicious marauders and the scariest looking hockey goalie!

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He likes to paraphrase Shakespeare when intimidating the illiterate masses.

“I am gravely disappointed. Again you have made me unleash my dogs of war.”

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Happy #MMM & #MMM (The Eva Green: Birthday Goddess Edition :)

It’s been many a monsterous moment since I’ve done a proper #MMM (Man Meat Monday) and #MMM (Mad Monster Monday) ’round here. Personally, I’m still recovering from the Ho-rrorday weekend, and since I ass-ume many of my bestest worstest fiends are, too, I figured this was a right proper time to give you a double shot of XXX-presso to get you revved up for the week be-head. 😉

First up, here’s Frankie to inspire you to have a nice, healthy breakfast. 🙂

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(#MMMDonuts...sound really good right about now, actually ;)).

In case you’re on a low-carb diet and prefer to start your week with a lil’ protein instead, I’ve got a big ol’ helping of Manly Meatiness for ya, courtesy of Michael Pitt in The Dreamers. (Which also features today’s birthday beauty and my forever Woman Crush, the insanely seductive Ms. Eva Green. <3333)

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This onscreen duo has always been quite saucy (and Michael Pitt’s no slouch, either.. ;)), so if you haven’t seen this titillating treasure from 2003, most definitely check it out (with your pause button at the ready ;)).

I couldn’t really find a good embeddable version of this epic #MMM moment, so until you’re able to actually feast your eyes upon this fiesty film, you’ll have to make do with this homemade iPhone-tized version of The Goods! ;))

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(And here’s a little an eXXXtra hunk o’Michael’s Man Meat to make your Monday even merrier…Have an awesome day, Kinky Ho-bots!! :)) xoxo

PS- Special thanks to Eric for sending the pics which include Ms. Green and her gloriousness. 🙂 xoxo

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Happy Birthaversary to F/X Legend Ray Harryhausen! <333

(Submitted with the utmost love and respect by Mr. Anton Phibes, and heartily seconded by moi. 😉 xoxo)rhgif14

Happy Birthday to the great Ray Harryhausen, the man who created life from foam rubber and latex! Harryhausen has generated some the all-time great movie monsters, as well as generations of creature enthusiasts. I know I and many others owe their love of beasts to Mr. Harryhausen. It’s very hard to overstate the influence of Harryhausen on pop culture. Everyone from Tim Burton to Peter Jackson has stated RH’s special brand of movie magic as an inspiration. Happy Birthday, you titan of titans!rhgif18 rhgif17 rhgif16 rhgif9 rhgif13 rhgif12 rhgif1 rhgif8 rhgif11 rhgif10 rhgif3 rhgif2 rhgif6 rhgif5 rhgif4

 

Mad Monster Monday: The Flying Battleship Edition. ;)

From a galaXXXy of pure antimatter comes a winged abomination so Ho-rrible, it can
only be compared to a battleship (for some reason… ;))!! I give you The Giant Claw, our #MCM/#MadMonster#MoTW/Whatever… (Really, I just haven’t posted about a classic monster in a while, and I was jonesin’ for it! :))

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The Giant Claw was unleashed in 1957 to unsuspecting audiences everywhere. Legend goes that Stop-Motion Master Ray Harryhausen (#MCE :)) was intended to provide the effects, but due to budget constraints, a less prestigious F/X company in Mexico City was hired to craft the creature instead, thus resulting in one of the most mind-blowingly memorable monsters of the atomic ’50s!

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Sporting a badass mohawk and the buggiest eyes in Ho-rror since Peter Lorre (zing!!! ;)), The Giant Claw is a beast to behold! (#ThatsWhatSheSaid ;)) Throughout the picture, the frightening fiend is constantly compared to a battleship, which makes zero sense, but I freaking love it!!! 🙂

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Star Jeff Morrow confessed that he and the rest of the cast had no idea what the tit-ular
creature looked like while shooting. Morrow himself first saw the film in his
Ho-metown, and was so upset by the audience laughing every time the monster appeared on screen that he left the theater early, embarrassed that anyone there might recognize him. (Awww. :()

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Ho-wever, we Ho-s here at Kinky Ho-rror believe that The Giant Claw is far from something to be ashamed of…This wild design is just too fantastic not to love!! 🙂

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What would’ve been a run-of-the-mill creature feature is elevated to mythical status due to its unique feathered antagonist. I Ho-nestly can’t get enough of this fabulously funky chicken! 🙂 <333

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You’re the most boo-tiful flying battleship there ever was, Mr. Claw, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!!! 😉

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I definitely recommend adding this magestic monster to your #MVQ, Kinky Ho-bots!! 🙂 xoxoxo

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Ho-rror Haiku.

I soooooooo need a computer break right now, but I still wanted to post for #MMM & #MMM, so I’m taking a short cut. Enjoy my pure poetic genius along with your first serving of M/M for the New Year!! 😉 xoxoxo

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My brain is sincerely fried

Follow on Twitter.  

#MMM

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(Thing from Another World)

and #MMM

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(I‘ll Smack You Silly if You Don’t Recognize Him…You can decide for yourself which is the Man Crush and which is the Mad Monster, though. ;)) xo

 

It’s Krampus Time, Kiddies!!!!!!!!!

As hard as it might be to believe, I’m already in full-on Ho-rrorday mode. 🙂

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I realized today that basically from Oct. 1-Jan. 2 there are about two weeks total where I’m “normal” (for me, at least ;)). The rest of the time I’m either Halloween-ing, Thanksgiving-ing, or Christmas-ing it up (or some various combination of those three ;)).

So, I’m gonna get the (relatively ;)) (para)normal stuff out of the way right now, so I can start fully embracing this also-awesome time of year!! Don’t think that means I’m any less of a Ho-rror Ho-Ho-Ho, though, fiends…It just means 99% of my Ho-rror viewing right now has an eXXXtra festive twist!! ;).

The first order of non-Ho-rrorday biz is submitting  my belated #MMM & #MMM for this week. Truth be told, I was sincerely quite bummed out by the Walking Dead mid-season finale, and since we FINALLY had a few rainy days here in Hell-A (yay!!! :)), I used a lot of my time over the past few days re-visiting the Telltale Walking Dead video games. I don’t want to post spoilers (even though the first game is waaaay old now and you should’ve played it 12x’s by now ;)), so I’ll just post some pics of the Man Meat from the TWD universe that gets me all hot and juicy. (That whole sentence takes on a different meaning when you think of it in Walking Dead terms, btw… ;))

Of course there’s Darryl Motherfuckin’ Dixon, but the world shares my appreciation for his Manly Meatiness, so I think I’ll skip over the AMC Adonises this time and dive right into the Telltale Tasties. After all, those #MMMs are the ones that are really gettin’ me revved up right now. (There’s nothing weird about that, is there…? Whatever. If loving video game characters is wrong, I don’t wanna be right!! ;))

First up: Lusty Lee, from Season 1.

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He pretty much owns my world in the original game, but since he’s such a major character, I really can’t say much about him without divulging spoilers. (Seriously, though…Go play it already if you’re that worried about finding out what happens!! ;)) So, I’ll just simply say that LEE. IS. AWESOME!!!!!!!!! <3333333333

Check out just one minor, minor eXXXample of his eXXXtreme badassery:

This scene is so beautiful to me, and just one of the gajillion magic Lee moments in the game. Turns out the guy that voices him is pretty #MMM-worthy, too. 🙂

In the second game, Lee’s not around too much. *sadness* There are a few #MMMs who collectively come close to matching Lee’s Man Meat, but none of them are really swingin’ what he’s swingin’ in Season One. Some of their storylines made me very, very eXXXcited (if ya know what I mean… ;)), and others made me sad/angry/stressed/worried, but any character that has the power to stir all those emotions is definitely #MMM-worthy in my book. So, I give you this loving look at the TellTale Talent from the newst TWD game. 🙂

Luke…The love of my Season 2 life. <3

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(*le sigh* :))

Other Season 2 SeXXXpots include:

Nick:

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Mike:

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Matthew:

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and, reluctantly, Arvo:

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(Clearly there’s no denying Arvo’s #MMM-factor, especially with that seXXXy accent, but he’s a douchebag in disguise. Trust me on that one… ;))

There are actually many more #MMM-worthy dudes (#WCW-worthy ladies :)) in Season 2, but I’m still butt hurt (in a bad way ;)) from my last ending, so I don’t feel like acknowledging anyone else right now. If you’re wondering whether or not these games are worth your time, though, the answer is a definitive YESSSSSSSSSSSS x’s 1000!!!!!!! 🙂

In other news, there’s been a lot of unfortunate news concerning Scott Stapp of Creed over the past week or so. This is the dude that once upon a time gave us kickass soundtracks to Halloween H20 and Scream 3, though, so let’s give the man a break and hope he gets his shizzle together again soon. In the meantime, we’ll always have these to remind us of the good slightly less Ho-rrible times. 😉

(I will defend that song AND that movie ’til the zombified cow carcusses come home…Both of ’em are amongst my all-time faves! :))

(Scream 3, on the other hand, was a HUGE disappointment…HUGE!!!!!!! But I danced onstage to, like, half the songs on this album when it first came out, so at least the soundtack -Executive Produced by Creed, btw- stayed on par with the kickass legacy of the first two installments.)

And let’s not forget Mr. Stapp was also kind enough to bless the world with his no-sex “Sex Tape”, and that alone makes him awesome by Kinky standards. 😉

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(Shout out to meh Redlight peeps…WOOT! ;))

Since I’m already shouting, I wanna send out a few more “WOOT!!!!”s to the good folks over at Waxwork Records, HorrorBlock, and Fright Rags for their forever awesomeness. I returned from my Thankskilling vacay this week to find these beauties waiting for me, which is always a lovely Ho-rrible way to be welcomed home. 😉



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I recommend checking out/showing your undying love to these sites for their eternal awesomeness, if you haven’t already. They’ve all got some especially rad stuff going on right now for the Ho-rrordays; check out this epic Silent Night, Deadly Night bundle from FR, for eXXXample…You best believe I’m gonna be up bright and early Tuesday AM to make sure this torrid treasure ends up at my place!!

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That Linnea Quigly ornament is seriously to die for!!! 🙂 <3

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And, finally, since it is Wednesday, I might as well through out some #WCW badness for ya. 🙂 The object of my desire this week is Mrs. Peltzer from Gremlins.

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I feel like she’s vastly underappreciated in Gremlins-dom. Think about it: In her brief time on screen she made some lovely noms (including Gingerdead men…YUM!!! :)), kicked major Gremlin ass, and gave us all a tasteful booty shot…The lady is an unsung goddess in my eyes!! 🙂 <3

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(Look at Mr. Gremlin sneakin’ a peek of #datass…Homie knows what’s up!! ;))

Check out my #WCW’s Ripley-esque kitchen skillz: (This was always one of the freakiest parts of the movie to me!! :))

(Way to give ’em what-for and cement your place in #WCW history, Mrs. P!! <3333333333)

Since I’m already talkin’ Gremlins, I don’t think there’s a more appropriate Mad Monster to mention this week than these creepy lil’ #MMMs. Let the angelic singing of Spike and the gang fill your (black) hearts with Christmas cheer, because from this point on it’s all about Krampus season for me, Kinky Ho-rrorday Ho-s!!! 😉 xoxoxo

The Return of #MMM and #MMM…

…the Proximo edition. 🙂

I re-watched Hammer’s Curse of the Werewolf last night, and fell in lust with Mr. Oliver Reed all over again. Yes, he was undeniably amazing in critically acclaimed “classics” like Gladiator and Oliver!, but to me he was never more badassical (and utterly seXXXified) than he was as Leon the Hammer Hottiebot in Curse. 

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(Oh yessssssss…Feel free to rip me apart any moonlit night, mister! ;))

Mr. Reed was also a notorious Hollyweird Hellraiser in real life, which is all the more reason to love this luscious mountain of Man Meat. Check out a small sampling of his off-screen radness:

You can’t not love this #MMM, amirite??? (And yes I would, even in his elderly drunkard phase. Maybe even more so then…Check out those sweet dance moves from The Word and tell me any hot blooded homo sapien or lustful lycanthrope could resist this hunk o’ Man Meat!!! :))

Apart from Ollie’s obvious attributes, Curse of the Werewolf  contains a happy fun Bewbie Bonus: The ridiculously gore-geous Yvonne Romain struttin’ her hawt-arse stuff as the Were-MILF…There’s no nudity (unfortunately :)), but Hammer NEVER disappoints with the gratuitous cleavage shots!!! 🙂 <33333333

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(Shouldn’t that say “BREAST wishes”??? #Klebberness ;))

Mr. Reed in all his hairy hotness is, of course, also my choice for Mad Monster Monday…

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(RAWWWWWWWWWWWWR…#MMM AND #MMM combined!! Is there anything this man can’t do??? ;)),

but I still wanted to throw this bit’ o’ macabre magnificence at ya, just for the heck of it. 🙂

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These shots are from a classic 1992 game called Waxworks (no relation to the movie, unfortunately), which I just found out eXXXisted, but now am determined to own/play.

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(So much old-school awesomeness!!! :))

It’s technically not an #MMM, I suppose, but Waxworks looks creepy as heck and I’m super eXXXcited about it right now, so I had to share this tantalizingly twisted treasure with ya!!! 🙂

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Have a most Morbid Monday, my Monstrous Miscreants!!! 🙂 xoxoxo

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