Splatterday Mourning Cartoons – Beetlejuice: Critter Sitters

Ho-wdy, my recently deceased Ho-mies!


What a fine Day-O it is for some carnivorous cartoon carnage! Today’s freaky funny shows that the dead truly are an animated bunch! On this strange journey through the hereafter, we summon our Ho-st… the Ghost with the Most! Say it once, say it twice, say it three times…

BEETLEJUICE! BEETLEJUICE! BEETLEJUICE!


Yessiree, Blob! We just love the unholy heck out of ol’ BJ (Ha!) here at Kinky Horror! After all, he is THE name in Laughter from the Hereafter! It’s on his poster! Posters don’t lie!

See?!

Beetlejuice (1988) was a monstrous success at the boXXX office, so (super)naturally Warner Bros.  wanted to capitalize on our striped scare-star’s popularity. What better way to do so than to make a children’s cartoon based on this:

Surprisingly, the cartoon works really well! It ain’t as edgy as the movie, but it’s everything a monster-loving kid could hope for! For all the little Wednesdays and Pugsleys out there, this show’s better  than a bowl of Frankenberry with arsenic!
 

Let’s turn on the juice and see what shakes loose with the first episode of… BEETLEJUICE!


Goon Review – The Zodiac Killer (1971)

Sometimes, the reason behind how or why a movie got made is far more interesting than the movie itself. Take, for instance, The Island of Dr. Moreau: Total trainwreck of a movie that started with blaming director Richard Stanley, an incredibly talented filmmaker, for any issue that arose (including monsoons that delayed production). Throw in a coke-fueled Val Kilmer who didn’t get along with Stanley and was pressuring the studio to replace him, mixed in with a no fucks left to give Marlon Brando who refused to learn his lines and was constantly making script changes. The film actually has a documentary that’s longer than the film and far more interesting. It’s such childish bullshit and so insane that you have to wonder how shit gets made sometimes. And then you have 1971’s The Zodiac Killer that was actually made in attempt to catch the actual Zodiac Killer.

Sounds crazy, right? Well, desperate times call for desperate measures and apparently the Zodiac was something of a cinephile, so it was so crazy that it just might work. But alas, it did not, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. The plan was to get him into the theaters by making a movie about him and premiere it at the Golden Gate Theater in San Francisco, which was rented out by director Tom Hanson. With Kawasaki sponsoring the event offering a prize to the lucky theater goer who could answer the question, “I believe the Zodiac kills because…” on a card. However, a team of experts would be analyzing the handwriting on the cards to that of the Zodiac’s and snatch them in the lobby. Pretty ballsy and clever plan, but maybe the Zodiac was smarter.

Again, the making of this movie would be far more entertaining than the actual movie itself. The actual film is more or less just a series of random events. You could argue that’s how the murders seemed, but the film makes an odd choice of giving the Zodiac an identity part way through the movie. The film then switches over to following him around as he goes about his day, attempts a little murder and then to the police or reporters trying to catch him. It’s not a bad idea, except the Zodiac’s identity was never discovered, so this ‘based on a true story’ story now becomes majorly fictionalized. It wasn’t like they used a possible suspect as the Zodiac in the film, but a totally random made up guy. You have to wonder if it was done to anger the Zodiac in hopes of drawing him out, but from my research, he never even attempted to contact the filmmakers.

Regardless of the subject matter, this isn’t a serious movie (or at least that’s what the tone is trying to tell me), but rather a madhouse hippie romp that’s light on the gore, yet still has a layer of filth like an early Frank Henenlotter film would have. Satanic hippie driven violence, like I Drink Your Blood and bad b-movie sexy go-go shlock, like The Girl in Gold Boots are easily comparable… and more entertaining. Not to say there’s nothing to take away from The Zodiac Killer, given that it wasn’t a big budget picture. The performances, while not the greatest in the world, aren’t half bad and actually go hand in hand with the cheesy tone.

The beginning of the film focuses on an old, dumpy, balding white guy named Grover (honestly, a pretty fitting name). Grover likes to put on a wig and lie to women about being a businessman to get some random strange. The movie depicts this man as a sexy, irresistible poon hound with a knack for violence and a revolver. Of course, any viewer automatically recognizes someone like this as a red herring, especially when moments later we see a man burying a rabbit under a giant cross. This man is Jerry, Grover’s friend, and he isn’t given much to do until Grover makes an exit at the halfway point in the movie, when he rushes over to his ex-wife’s house, makes some threats, waves a gun at the cops exclaiming that he’s the Zodiac Killer and is instantly gunned down and splashes his fat, dead corpse into the pool.

Now Jerry steps into the spotlight of the film, talking to his pet rabbits that are all named after Zodiac signs. In case you didn’t catch onto the fact that he’s the killer, he then begins chanting to an altar about his “slaves,” which are his murdered victims that would accompany him to his after life. After that, there really isn’t much of significance going on. Well, nothing that would really be called a story, but rather random reenacted murders to move the scenes along and pad out a run time. The film does seem to try and accurately portray what happened at the murder scenes, at least when there was a survivor to recall the event. Other times when there was no survivor, the movie just makes up what they think happened and that discredits the true story angle more, especially considering there isn’t much proof that those murders were done by the Zodiac. I know, this isn’t the first film based on a true story to make things up, but this was all still going on at the time.

More murders happen, the cops don’t seem to have any clues, and then the movie decides it needs to give the Zodiac some motivation towards the end when he confronts his father in a mental institution as he cries out for attention like a baby. At this point, I don’t think they cared about accuracy of who the Zodiac was, but rather were looking to rustle his feathers by calling him a whiny bitch. He then storms outside and pushes a man in a stretcher down a hill and then a flight of stairs. I know he’s trying to kill the guy, because he’s cackling the whole time like a Looney Tunes villain, but even the guy on the stretcher looks like he’s having a blast. Nothing but a big ol’ smile. Then the movie ends on Jerry strolling down the street, narrating that he will continue to kill while laughing to himself…You know know, typical bad guy stuff.

If it weren’t for the subject matter of the actual Zodiac Killer and the zany bongos and horns blaring during the murder scenes, this would be a pretty boring movie. There isn’t much substance to the characters and even Jerry, the film’s Zodiac Killer, has little to do when he’s not killing random people. Most of the characters rarely interact with each other and when they do, it’s mostly arguing, especially coming from Grover. Grover at least gives the film some sleaze, as he’s always drinking, doing drugs and womanizing, so it makes the film feel like a drive-in staple. That’s another thing to the film’s credit, it does have some personality, even if it’s not well shot. As I said, it feels a bit sleazy, a bit trippy and definitely enhanced with that hippie music. I actually found it surprising it didn’t relish in the gore, going over the top and loading the screen up with its bright blood red, but it instead rarely shows gore. I don’t know if that was done out of respect for the victims and their families or if it was just a budgetary thing.

I will give credit to AGFA and Something Weird for restoring this film in 4K from the only surviving blow-up elements, even if it doesn’t look like 4K quality. But that’s alright. A film like this needs dirt and scratches to help with the grimey feel it has. Director Tom Hanson and producer Manny Nedwick provide an audio commentary as well as an interview and some trailers to round out the special features on the disc. There’s some liner notes and director interview from Temple of Shlock’s Chris Poggiali and some reversible cover artwork. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that there is a bonus film, Another Son of Sam from 1977, which was actually called Hostages and filmed in 1975, but changed the title when the film was being released around the same time the actual Summer of Sam killer was caught to capitalize on that. Nope, nothing sleazy there.

If you want to watch a really great movie about the Zodiac Killer, then watch Zodiac by David Fincher. It’s beautifully shot, colors are muted and yet they jump out at you and fit the tone of the scene. The characters are well acted and interesting enough to follow through a two and a half hour movie with and it makes the randomness of the murders and the unknown identity of the Zodiac feel like a frightening boogeyman. If you want the exact opposite of that, watch The Zodiac Killer. I will say that you won’t be bored, even if it’s not very well made. Or accurate.

Ho-stess’s PS- Here’s a sneaky peak at the Island of Dr. Moreau doc Goon mentioned. Highly rec adding this one to your #MustViewQueue. 🙂 xoxo

#FBF: The “Die, Die Again, Vincent Price!” Edition

Ho-wdy, Kinky Kreeps!

Today’s Flashback Fare concerns one Mr. Vincent. Freakin’. Price.

There’s no ghoul in history that gives us those Tingler tingles like Mr. Vincent Price! I mean, he’s one of the indisputable Gods of Ho-rror! The Merchant of Menace! The King of the Grand Guignol! The man’s a legit legend! You could always tell he was having the time of his life… even when it ended… again and again and again!
On the Silver Scream, Mr. Price frequently enjoyed one of the finer things in life… dying.

Most people only do it once, but Mr. Price made a living off of it! You think Sean Bean bit his fair share of dust? Ha! He’s but a  rank amateur compared to Ol’ Vinnie! Bean’s only danced with the Reaper a mere 25 times… Vincent Price has kicked the bucket (of blood) 32 times! And we’re not even counting his Terror-Vision appearances! He’s been drowned, burnt, poisoned, dissolved by acid, and others far too ho-rrible to name here. But, like any great monster, he just came back for the next fright tale! I wouldn’t be shocked if he rose from his real-life grave to start promote the Sears Art Collection!

To show you how to live your death to the fullest… here are…
The Many Deaths of Vincent Price! 

Oh… Spoilers. 😉 xoxo

Movie Review – Annabelle: Creation

(Submitted by Mr. Anton Phibes…Thanks for the insight, freaky friend! 🙂 xoxo)

(Spoilers, obvi. :))

I just love a good amusement park spook ho-use. If you frequent this site, you likely share that sentiment (and also, THANK YOU, YOU ROCK! 😉 -DP). Spook houses are always immensely popular during the Halloween season, and a good few scare up some good business year-round. They have haunted us since at least 1915, utilizing the same reliable scare tactics for decades. You know the ones I mean… flashing colored lights, hanging sand bags masquerading as the dead, and actors in fright masks jumping from out of a dark corner to deliver a well-timed “BOO”. Most of these attractions employ these ancient tricks, but some do It with more imagination and skill than others. Haunting a house is art like any other.
The same applies to cinematic hauntings. 2014’s Annabelle is pretty mediocre fright fare.  By no means is the film terrible, but it’s out of the mind as soon as you’re out of the theater. All of the classical tools of terror are present, but they aren’t harnessed to their full potential. However, Annabelle: Creation is a fantastic spook house, with similar jolts handled with greater style and a keen eye for horror. There’s hardly anything new about it, but it is perfectly frightful.
As one can deduce from its title, Annabelle: Creation is an origin story of sorts. After the untimely death of their little girl, a toy maker and his wife allow an unknown entity to transpose its essence into one of the toy maker’s dolls, believing it to be the spirit of their daughter. Unfortunately, the entity is not their daughter and is demonic in nature. Twelve years after entrapping the unholy abomination, the couple provide shelter in their home for a nun and six young girls. When one of the girls unwittingly releases the demon, unearthly horrors target the inhabitants of the house in a most ghastly fashion.

Backstories for monsters and madmen can be a tricky business. Horrific beasts  run the risk of losing their ability to inspire fear when they are known to us. Thankfully, this film avoids that by keeping the demon vague and the threat credible. While there aren’t buckets of blood being dumped about, grisly imagery is still abound. My personal favorite bit of macabre madness involves scarecrow that truly understands the first 5 letters of his title.  Of course, Mr. Scarecrow is just one of many eldritch monstrosities that lurk in the shadows of this picture. There’s a horror for all tastes here.

The cast is all-around excellent, but the true stars are young actresses Lulu Wilson and Talitha Bateman. Wilson and Bateman play sisters and they work off of each other in extraordinary fashion. Their performances are a huge part of why this film works so well. Having appeared in this, Ouija: Origin of Evil, and Deliver Us from Evil, I’m willing to call 11-year-old Lulu Wilson the world’s youngest Scream Queen. As for Bateman, her performance is truly haunting and to say anymore would ruin the fun.
Annabelle: Creation is an old-fashioned yelp-yarn that proves that the old tricks still have power in the right claws. It is the rare sequel that surpasses the original so completely that one almost forgets that it is a sequel. For lovers of spooks and shock, this film is a beautiful nightmare. This is how you haunt a house.

 

#Werewolf Wednesday: Moon of the Wolf (1972)

AAOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s another Werewolf Wednesday!!!! Put away the silver and bark at the moon with us as we bring you another hairy hair-raiser from the Kinky Ho-rror vault. From 1972, it’s Moon of the Wolf!
No, not that one!
That’s the ticket!

Moon of the Wolf  is a made-for-TV Southern fried creature feature that originally aired on ABC in the September of 1972. It’s an old-fashioned sort of monster movie, the kind we really sink our fangs into at Kinky Ho-rror. The film concerns a Louisiana sheriff investigating a string of murders, eventually coming to the conclusion that the culprit may be a hairy-handed gent…

Look at that werewolf! He looks like a something ordered out of the ad pages of Famous Monsters of Filmland! (And I mean that in the best possible way! :)) It’s a cl-Ass-Sick-al lycanthrope in every since of the word! The make-up was done by make-up maniac William Tuttle, the man behind the freaky fab looks in Young Frankenstein and 7 Faces of Dr. Lao, so you know that they hired man who knows his monsters. 🙂


Clocking in at 75 mins, Moon of the Wolf is a compact little werewolf thriller with no unnecessary fat. With or without a full moon, this one’s a ho-wl. Check it out, Kinky Kreeps! 🙂 xoxo

News Bleed: The “Two-Faced Munsters” Edition

Munster, Go Home! The Munsters are heading back to Terror-vision! 🙂 Deadline

IT Came From Spirit Halloween! PopCulture

Madballs roll into Ready Player One! Movie Web

Jigsaw will play around at Halloween Horror Nights! 🙂 Huffington Post

Special effects wizard Kevin Yagher is selling some of actual props from the Child’s Play movies! Shut up and take our money! Bloody Disgusting

Adam West defends Gotham one last time in Batman vs. Two-Face! 🙂 io9

#AnimatedAwesomeness Movie Review: Justice League Dark

(Submitted by Mr. Prince Adam…Thank you, Super Friend! 🙂 xoxo)

SPOILERS

“Beings with supernatural powers join together to fight against supernatural villains. This team of supernatural beings include John Constantine, Zatanna and Jason Blood also known as the demon Etrigan.” (DC Entertainment)

I read the first volume of Justice League: Dark from The New 52 and loved it. I thought it was one of the best books of that initiative. So when I heard they were making this movie, I was so excited. I thought it would be a direct adaptation of that story but it wasn’t. It was its own story using DC’s more supernatural heroes. I love how this movie uses the main well known heroes from the Justice League proper team, to transition to this team of darker, mystical heroes. Now I know who these characters are, but the casual movie buyer may not. So this was a smart decision. The film opens with people seeing others around them as demons and monsters. Innocents are killed in the attack, which brings the Justice League, specifically the Trinity into action. Superman stops a husband from killing his wife, Wonder Woman stops an out of control driver, who is mowing down civilians with her car and Batman stops a mother from throwing her newborn out of a window. These scenes, plus Constantine’s language alone, make the film worthy of its R rating. Speaking of Constantine, The Justice League surmises that magic and the dark arts are behind these occurrences. Skeptical of this, Batman scoffs and heads back to Wayne Manor. Back at Wayne Manor, Bruce Wayne goes through a series of blackouts and when he wakes, discovers the name Constantine seemingly written in blood on walls close by. They look as though they were written in blood. The way these scenes were filmed, it seemed as though Batman was being stalked and attacked by an unseen supernatural villain. We later learn that all this was the work of Deadman, possessing Batman’s body in an attempt to warn him. So Batman turns to my favourite Magician clad in fishnets, Zatanna, to find Constantine. She help Batman and, by extension, Deadman locate John Constantine. The next segment of the film sees John Constantine, Zatanna, Deadman, Jason Blood aka Etrigan the demon and Batman, discuss the culprit of the recent events. Since the likes of John Constantine, Zatanna and of course Batman have all had stints on live action film and television, as well as animation before, the film spends some time on the more unknown quantities in this film. In briskly paced flashbacks, we get the FYI origin stories of Deadman and Etrigan the Demon. For Deadman we see his murder during a trapeze circus act and his post death encounter with a Hindu Goddess, who felt pity on him and granted him his ghostly existence and his ability. With Jason Blood, the flashback takes us back to Camelot, where Merlin magically bonds Jason with Etrigan the Demon after he is mortally wounded. I must confess, I didn’t know much about Etrigan but I absolutely love that his origin is tied to Arthurian legend. I l also got a kick out of the interplay in that scene. Zatanna and Constantine have a history, and their bickering highlighted a past relationship and some sexual tension. This actual played out quite similarly to volume one of the book. When you throw in Boston Brand’s commentary during the arguing, it felt like a episode of The Big Bang Theory, with Penny and Leonard arguing and Sheldon making smart ass comments. Batman’s reaction to the irrefutable existence of magic only adds to the humor. Every time magic is on display early on in the film, Batman grimaces and almost grunts in disbelief.

Magical weirdness kicks off, when the group visits a colleague of Zatanna’s, Ritchie Simpson for help. When they arrive at his doorstep, they find Shroud Spirits of Death waiting for Ritchie’s demise. The group enters his house and they learn Ritchie has a mystical form of cancer. The group surmises that whatever triggered Ritchie’s mystical cancer, likely caused people around the world to start seeing monsters and demons and go on killing sprees. They bring Ritchie back to the House of Mystery and use the mystical Keshanti Key to access one of the unconscious civilian rampagers mind. While inside his head, clues seem to reveal that the culprit for all this chaos is Felix Faust. While the group confronts Faust, Ritchie Simpson reveals himself to be a sinister magician Destiny, from the time of Camelot. He was the character who fought Etrigan in the flashback scene. He lay in hiding to gain access to the House of Mystery, where the other half of the dream stone resides. With the full stone in his possession he has the power to gain vengeance on Jason Blood and rule the modern world. While Batman and the rest of the core Justice League is present during the final battle, it is the teamwork of Etrigan, Zatanna, Constantine and Deadman that defeated Destiny and saved the day. I loved that their plan of action was a combination of mental trickery and magical force. I was happy it wasn’t just fisticuffs the whole way through. I was genuinely shocked that Ritchie Simpson was in fact Destiny. That reveal was deceptive and unexpected. While I don’t know much about Etrigan, this film changes his status quo in this animated universe in a big way. I have no idea if this has ever been done in the comic books before, but for the film to separate Jason Blood and Etrigan, essentially killing Jason Blood, I thought was pretty ballsy. This film is definitely the formation of the Justice League Dark. At the end of the film, Batman extends offers to Zatanna and John Constantine to join the Justice League. So while they took the characters from the New 52 comic books, they definitely went their own way in terms of origin story for the film. My only complaint of this film is the use of Swamp Thing. What a waste of a great character. If he’s in the film for more then 7 minutes I’d be shocked..

The animation is dark and very sleek looking. It definitely takes it’s cues from the art of Mikel Janin. One of my favourite scenes is the twister that occurs trying to conceal the House of Mystery. It’s like Twister, but better because it feature superheroes and the Batmobile. Though, I was cringing to see that beautiful Batmobile get swept up and destroyed. I loved the origin scenes where both Deadman and Etrigan were highlighted. Those scenes had different and distinctive looks and could have easily been their own separate short movies. Also worth noting is the scene where Constantine and Zatanna enter the mind scape of the unconscious rampager. It was very trippy. Like 70’s acid trip trippy. Then out in the real world, Batman is chased through the halls of the hospital by the Shroud Spirits of Death. They look like a cross between the Undertaker’s Druids from the late 90’s WWE and the liquid that spewed from Penguin’s mouth in Batman Returns. The third act finale features plenty of force fields, lit up mystical symbols of energy and corresponding energy blasts. You know, this movie has quite a bit in common with Marvel’s Doctor Strange film. By the way, that’s not a bad thing, as I enjoyed that film. The voice cast was all fairly solid. I am really getting used to Jason O’Mara as Batman. He has officially joined the Bat family in my opinion. By the way, knowing he voices Batman, makes his character on Agents of SHIELD so much cooler. It was great hearing Matt Ryan reprise the role of John Constantine. It was weird hearing him use some foul language but was great that the character was unrestrained by the R rating. By the way, it’s a shame that NBC cancelled the live action Constantine show. I really enjoyed it. I don’t know if Boston Brand is supposed to be from New York but Nicholas Turturro’s New York accent really fit the character. He was distinctive from the rest of the characters. Camilla Luddington is known as the voice of Lara Croft. Here though, she plays Zatanna. There is no trace of Lara Croft in here performance, and I give her a ton of credit for managing the backwards spell dialogue.

Justice League Dark takes the characters from the comic books and manages to tell a wholly original story. That in and of it self is quite the accomplishment. Add the fact that in character origin stories and its villain, this film is better than Marvel’s live action Doctor Strange. That’s an animated film is better than a live action feature film is an absolute win. If you’re a fan of DC’s magical characters, you can be happy they’ve been given the respect they deserve. Buy this movie so that Warner Brothers sees the interest, which will give them confidence to explore these characters in more animated and live action films

Splatterday Mourning Cartoon: Count Duckula – A Fright at the Opera

Velcome, Kinky Kreeps!Today’s abominable animation is a FOWL terror tale that dares to reinvent to of Ho-rror’s most ghastly figures… as ducks!

That’s F-right, my monstrous minions… we summon the dread Count Duckula to terrorize y’all’s neighborhood!
And he’s brought with him a creep that swung from the chandelier long before another veiled musician made it cool… The Phantom of the Opera!

Well, a more finely feathered version, that is.

We here at Kinky Horror just love a good monster mash! There’s just someTHING eXXXciting about two (or more) icons of the macabre sharing the scream-screen together. Curiously though, this one of the very few times The Phantom and Drac have crossed paths. I mean, it’s a pairing that’s to DIE for! Both are cape-wearing, urbane creatures of the night with a tendency to sleep in coffins. And both are evil geniuses, so it would be a spectacular battle of the minds! Having two of fiction’s darkest gentlemen go face-to-mask would be a SCREAM!

Howl-ever, since there’s no true film crossover, we’ll gladly take this duck-based version!

The  webbed-foot Phantom in this terror toon is a Frankenstein of a few different versions of the masked menace. His mask resembles that of Claude Rains and his association diminutive lackey brings to the Hammer Ho-rror interpretation. There’s also a fair bit of Chaney in the the way he’s presented. And like all Phantoms, he really knows how bring DOWN the house… if you know what I mean.
For some Famous Monsters of Duckland, click on the BoXXX below:

#FrankensteinFriday: Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter

Ho-wdy, Putrid Partners!

Happy #FrankensteinFriday, Kinky Kreeps! This week, we’re gonna play High Goon and ride the high country into terror with a weird western that pits outlaws against ghouls! This one walks the line between Phantom of the Opera and horse opera in a way that reminds us that even cowgirls get the “boos”! 😉 Reach for the sky and scream for your life…It’s Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter!

Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter is not a film one can mistake for an Academy Award Winner. It is, ho-wever,  a straight-faced cowboy creeper that’s sure to satiate your appetite for the bizarre.This film is no cl-ass-sick, but it’s a delightfully daffy chiller-diller, perfect for a Frightful Friday.


Despite its (brilliant) title, the film concerns the great-granddaughter of Baron Frankenstein, not the daughter. Regardless of her eXXXact lineage, this mad doc is up to no good, turning the sidekick of Jesse James into a brainless monster and working her weird science all over the place! Narda OnyXXX’s over-the-top, scenery-devouring performance as the Lady Frankenstein is pure B-movie bliss, and is enough to make this film worth the watch.

Saddle up and Westward Ho, Ho-rror Ho-mies!! 😉 xoxo

No Recipes Required: The Kinky Kitchens Edition, Part 1

(Submitted by the always awesome Smutmaster Eric…Thanks, Kinky Ho-mie. I so dig how your monstrous mind works! 🙂 xoxo)

Kitchen Samurai

Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003)

Snoopy & Woodstock

 
American Werewolf In London XXX Porn Parody (2011)

Ratatouille (2007)


Pet Sematary (1989)

Ho-stess’s PS- #TBT to my Karnal Kombat review of An American Werewolf in  London XXX. (Spoiler Alert: It’s actually rad AF!! 😉 xoxo)